A/N: So here it is episode 1 of Colorado Springs! And this will be epic!!! If you need a refresher on the characters, check chapter 1.

Episode 1: The Hannah-nators.

“Looks like we’ll have some awesome weather today!” The news caster declared. “Let’s go to Dan for more details, Dan?”

“Thanks, Laura, today, it’s going to be sunny all day with only a few clouds! So take advantage of this weather, get off your lazy ass, and go ride a bike or something.”

“Pssh, yeah, right.” Kyle Jameson sighed clicking off the TV. “The weather man’s never right in this town.” He jumped off his couch, grabbed his backpack and headed off to school.

When he arrived at his usual bus stop, he was greeted by his three friends, Billy Robison, Charlie Garland, and Justin Johns, whose hood was down. “Hey Kyle!” Billy yelled.

The other two chimed in with a less than enthusiastic “Hey Kyle.”

“Hey guys, what’s wrong?” Kyle asked Charlie and Justin.

“Hello, its Monday morning, dumbass.” Charlie snapped.

“Mondays. Suck. Balls.” Justin simply stated.

“Oh, don’t worry; it’ll get exciting here soon enough.” Billy assured his two groggy friends.

All of a sudden, they heard a girl’s voice yelling at them. “Omigod! You guys, you guys!!!!” Down the street ran Kimberly lanes, everyone looked to see her, and Justin’s eyes fell into a dreamy state.

“Hi Kimmy.” Charlie said, still groggy. “What do you want?”

When she got closer, the boys could see she was panting. “You guys, it’s horrible!!!! It’s so scary, so horrifying!! Come quickly!” She pulled on her long blonde hair and panted more.

Charlie slapped her. “Snap out of it, woman!” He yelled. “Damn, I needed that.” He remarked.

“I-it’s too horrifying for me to say.” She stuttered. Everyone’s eyes widened, and Justin threw on his hood and tightened it.

“R-really?” He asked.

“Yeah, you’ll just have to see for yourself.”

“Well, we can’t all go.” Justin said. “If it really is that bad, then we’ll all die!”

“But who’s going to go then?” Kyle asked.

Everyone slowly looked at Justin. “Awww man!” He yelled. He looked around and, finally caved. “Okay, but you guys owe me one.” He said walking away. At the school, the flag that was normally fluttering was on the ground, an alarm went off and people were jumping out the windows. “Ooh, I hope this isn’t as bad as it looks…” He mumbled to himself. He walked in and saw everyone fleeing out of the cafeteria. He stopped one boy running away. “Hey, what’s going on?” He asked.

“Oh, it’s too terrifying!” The boy yelled. “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in there! We’re all gonna die!!!” He ran away and jumped out a window.

“Oh, no!” Justin tightened his hoodie even more, so his eyes were barely even showing. He walked slowly to the cafeteria door and walked in. What he saw inside was so terrifying, he would have ran out immediately, but he was frozen in place. “What kind of monster ARE you?!?!” He yelled.

“I’m Hannah Montana!” The beast with messy blonde hair yelled. “And I am here to give all these poor little elementary schoolers a FREE concert tonight at 6 o’ clock!”

“WHY?!?!?!?” Justin yelled on his knees.

“Because you poor, poor little kids are suffering from Unpredictable Weather Syndrome! And I’m hoping to single handedly cure it with the power of music!” She threw her arms in the air and sang horribly into the microphone. Justin ran away, and jumped out of another window. He lay on his face for a second, got up, and ran all the way back to the bus stop screaming.

“What’s wrong?” Kyle asked when they saw him running up.

Justin fell on his face. After a few seconds, he got up and managed to say two words before fainting. “H-h-hannah… M-m-montana….”

Everyone was silent, then ran to the school, jumped out of more windows, and ran back. “This is horrible!” Billy yelled.

“See?” Kimberly said. “She thinks our unpredictable weather is a sickness and that she can cure it with a free concert!”

“She needs to go back to school.” Kyle remarked.

Justin managed to get up and dust himself off. “What do we do guys?” He asked.

“For now, we head home and ready our fallout shelters.” Charlie calmly said.

“But, fallout shelters are only in cheap, run-down, really old homes.” Billy said.

“Then we’ll use Justin’s” Charlie replied.

“Hey!”

It then started raining.

1800 hours (6 o’ clock PM)

The stage flashed with lights and pyrotechnics. The voice of the announcer roared throughout. “Heloooooo Colorado Springs!!! Are you ready? Here she is, HANNAH MONTANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Hannah walked onto the stage, her hair messier than the previous morning. “Hello! Are you ready to rock?!?!”

One voice yelled “Yeah!” Then, crickets…

“Hey, where is everyone? There’s no one here! “

“I’m here Hannah!” Mr. Silbernagel yelled from his one seat among a sea of empty ones.

“Well, you don’t count. Where is everyone?!?!” She yelled again.

“They’re probably all hiding in that Justin kid’s fallout shelter. “ Mr. Silbernagel remarked.

“Well, fine, if they want to suffer from Unpredictable Weather Syndrome forever, that’s fine with me!!!” With that, she stormed off stage. But that, my dear reader is far from the end of this adventure…

THE NEXT MORNING, 0800 HOURS (8 o’ clock.)

Today, Justin was the last person to the bus stop. “Well, the world’s still here, so does that mean she’s gone?” He asked the others.

“Damn, I hope so.” Charlie said.

Kimberly came running to them again. “Hey guys!” She yelled enthusiastically. “How was your night?”

“Wonderful.” Charlie said. “But someone wouldn’t let me in their fallout shelter, Justin!”

“I told you, I don’t have a f___ing fallout shelter, fatass!” Justin yelled, snapping out of his dreamy state. He then looked at Kimberly and fell back into it.

“Anyway,” Kyle said, “Let’s get to school.”

“Pssh, Kyle, always willing to go to that jail politicians call ‘school.’” Charlie stated.

“Well, maybe it’s because he actually likes it, fatass!” Billy yelled, pointing at him.

“CAN WE GO NOW?!” Justin yelled. “I need to get to Spanish class so I can catch up on my sleep!”

1200 HOURS, NOON.

The boys were ready for lunch. Before they entered the cafeteria, Charlie gave them his opinion. “You know, I’m tired of school. Screw you guys, I’m going home.” With that, he turned around, and set off for his house.

When they entered, they saw something they will never forget. Hannah was back, and standing on their regular table! “Oh my god!” Justin yelled, tightening his hoodie. “I will never unsee that!!!”

“Hellooooo again Colorado springs!!!!! I thought you might have forgotten about my concert last night, so I decided to give you another free concert, right here and right now!”

“NOOOO!” All the kids in the cafeteria yelled.

“But why Colorado?” Billy asked.

“Yeah.” Kyle added. “No one in Colorado likes Hannah Montana. If anyone likes anything Disney related in Colorado, it’s probably the Jonas Brothers.”

“Well, the Jo Bros have been stealing my thunder for too long!” Hannah yelled.

“Jo bros? Yech!” Justin puked on the floor. “Why don’t you just leave us alone?!?!?!” He asked after he regained himself.

“Because, this disease is worse than Swine Flu!” She yelled.

“For the last f___ing time, our weather is not a f___ing disease!!!!” Justin yelled, losing his already low temper.

“It’s not? Well, I’m already here, so I might as well sing, we can’t have my wonderful voice go un-sung!”

“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Justin yelled in a fit of rage. Out of seemingly nowhere, he pulled out a machine gun let it loose all over Hannah. As the bullets hit the singer, the blood sprayed out of and covered her. She landed on the floor with a SPLAT! Justin panted, with his hair messed up and the machine gun smoking.

“Oh my god!” Kyle yelled. “Justin killed Hannah Montana!”

“You’re a hero!” Billy cheered. At that, the entire cafeteria burst out in roaring applause.

“You guys!” Charlie burst through the cafeteria doors. “You’ll never guess what I saw on the news!” He ran up to Justin. Then his eyes went from Justin, to the dead singer, and back to Justin. “Dude, you’re a hero!” He yelled grabbing him by the shoulders. “You’ll be praised for the rest of your life as the boy who saved the world from her beastly singing!! Hey everyone! This is Justin, he just killed Hannah Montana and he’s my best friend!” He shouted to the rest of the cafeteria. Then the applause got louder and louder.

“What the fraction is going on in here?” Mr. Science Teacher yelled, coming in the doors. He saw Hannah on the ground. He then saw Justin holding the machine gun. “Mr. Johns, did you kill that girl?”

“Um… Yes Mr. Science teacher.” He replied.

“You know the rule, sir. Don’t kill pop stars….without letting me in on it!”

“Sorry Mr. Science Teacher.” Justin said.

Billy and Kyle, who haven’t spoken for a while, decided to chime in with “Three cheers for our new hero!” In unison. But that, my dear reader, is STILL not the end of it.

CALIFORNIA: 1400 HOURS (2:00 PM)

A building had a big picture of Hannah painted on it. Inside, a group of girls chattered, painting their nails pink with yellow stars. One naturally blonde girl walked up to the front of the room. “Attention ladies!” She declared. “It’s time for the daily concert check! Last night was supposed to be a free concert for elementary school kids in Colorado Springs. Today is her concert for their lunch. And, since she always appears in the news, she’ll, like, definitely be on now.” She clicked on the TV, to be greeted by a red screen with the words BEAKING NEWS in white. “Huh?”

A news caster appeared on the TV. “Breaking news. While Hannah Montana was in Colorado….” He stifled a giggle of excitement. “She has been killed.” A gasp exploded in the Hannah Montana fan club. “She has been killed by this fourth grade boy.” A picture of Justin showed up on screen. “His name doesn’t really matter, because…. SHE’S DEAD!” He jumped out of his desk and emitted a girlish squeal. “Erm, I mean, we understand this… tragic loss, and our prayers are with the Montana family.” The TV was turned off.

All girls in the fan club started crying. The apparent leader clicked back on the TV and rewound using the awesome powers of DVR! She paused when Justin’s picture flashed on screen. “Girls….. THAT is our target. BATTLE STATIONS!!!”

THE NEXT DAY 1200 HOURS (you should know when that is!)

Justin and Charlie walked into the cafeteria for lunch. “Hey, everybody!” Charlie announced. “This is Justin, my best friend in the whole wide world!”

“Will you shut up already?” Justin smacked him. “We know!”

Kyle and Billy walked into the cafeteria behind them, embarrassed. “Yeah, Charlie, if you keep gloating non-stop like that, you’ll die of hyperventilation.” Kyle said.

“Hyper what?” Charlie asked confused.

Billy sighed. “Nevermind. Hey, look who’s coming!”

“Hello guys!” Kimberly ran up to them yet again, and looked at Justin. “Hi Justin.” She said with a smile.

Justin froze and only managed a nervous laugh.

“Get away, woman.” Charlie said. “My bestest friend ever needs space.”

All of a sudden, BOOM!!!! The wall of the school got blown out by a gigantic explosion. The four looked over at the hill to see an army of young girls wearing blonde, messy wigs. The one in the middle yelled down at them, “Who is Justin Johns??”

“Him.” Charlie pointed at Justin. “That guy, whom I’ve never met before in my life. Nope, never even seen him.”

“Goddamn it fatass!” Kyle, Billy, and Justin yelled at once.

“We are the army of Hannah Montana fan girls! We together believe that Hannah is…sniff… was the best singer in the world, and that the Jo Bros stole her thunder.”

“Yech! That again…” Justin puked on the floor.

“Together….We make up the army known only as… The Hannah-nators!!! We have one goal and one goal alone. Destroy Justin Johns.”

“How’d they get my name?” Then, a boulder landed right next to him.

“HOLY SH_T dude!” Billy gasped. “I think they’re serious…”

“Hell yes we’re serious!” The middle girl yelled. “GET HIM!”

A line of giant catapults fired at once. Huge boulders crashed all around the boys. They all yelled and ran away at high speeds. While they were running, fan girls with knives were chasing after them.

“Hey Justin!” Kyle yelled. “Do you still have that machine gun you used yesterday?”

“No! I sold it on Ebay!” Justin responded.

“Why?”

“I don’t even know where or when I got it in the first place!!”

“Goddamn it!” Charlie screamed, lagging behind the others. “Wait up you guys… I can’t run that fast…” No one would wait for him no matter how loud he screamed various curse words. “Goddamn it! When I catch you, I’m gonna _______ ___ _____ and ______ __ _____ up your _______ ________!!!!!!!”

BOOM!

Boulders landed in a circle around him and he was trapped. At the top of the boulders, the fan girls appeared like blood-thirsty hyenas. “How do you know that boy?” One asked.

“I’ve uh, never met him before in my life!” Charlie yelled up at them. “Now, get me the f___ out of here!”

“…No.” Another girl said. The leader appeared in an empty spot.

“Don’t worry girls.” She said. “We’ll get all the information we can out of this fatass.” She gave Charlie a demented, evil look.

“Um, Can I say something?”Charlie asked.

“NO!” All the girls yelled at once.

“Aw, sh_t.” He muttered.

Meanwhile, Billy, Kyle, and Justin ran frantically from the crazed fan girls. “Wait!” Billy shouted to the others. “Where’s Charlie?”

“Who cares? Let’s go!” Kyle yelled.

“No! Think about it…” Billy said which stopped the other two in their tracks. “The fan girls have stopped chasing us. I think they’ve captured him.” The others were silent for a moment.

“Don’t care.” They all said in unison. They all ran to the science class room. “Mr. Science Teacher!” They once again all yelled in unison.

“Whoa, whoa, settle down!” Mr. Science Teacher yelled. “What’s wrong?”

“Mr. Science Teacher!” Kyle yelled. “Justin killed Hannah Montana and now the fan girls are after him! You’ve gotta help!”

“Ok, one thing at a time.” Mr. Science Teacher said, calming them down. “Now, first thing first, where’s your fat friend, Mr. Garland?”

All the boys replied with a simultaneous “I dunno.”

“What?! What do you mean ‘I dunno?!’”

“We think he got captured by the fan girls.” Kyle said.

“Well, that’s not good!” Mr. Science Teacher reprimanded them. “You know how weak his will is, they’ll get all your information out of him in no time!”

“Oh, SH_T!” Justin yelled. “He’ll tell them all about us! Address, family, all that stuff! Now we’ve gotta save him!”

“…” Billy remained silent.

“Billy.” Kyle snapped at him. “I know you hate him, but if we don’t do something, the fan girls will kill us all!”

“….Fine, but don’t expect me to like it.” Billy finally said.

MEANWHILE

Charlie was tied up in a dark room. “Do what you want to me, bitch.” He spat. “I won’t tell you nothing.”

“Good.” One girl with glasses said. “Because that is a double negative. So you will tell us something.”

“NO ONE CARES!” Everyone yelled.

“God, you’re just like Kyle.”

“And who is this Kyle?”

“I won’t tell you.” Charlie said.

“Brat.” One girl said the leader said, emerging from the shadows with a box. “We’ll get him to talk… Soon enough…” She cackled maniacally while she pulled out a long pink object out of the box.

“I-is that a…?”

“I have a question… Are you gay?”

“Hell no!”

“Good.” All the girls laughed as the leader walked over to him.

“NO, NO, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Charlie yelled.

MEANWHILE

Luckily for the boys, Mr. Science Teacher had a shed full of deadly weapons. With the weapons, everyone, including Mr. Science Teacher had geared up for the battle of their lives. Mr. Science Teacher had a grenade launcher on his back, two high-caliber machine guns, one for each hand. Kyle had two hand guns, and had a Terminator leather suit and sunglasses. Billy had several large machine guns strapped to him. Justin had war paint on, and had switched to a camouflage hoodie. He held a bazooka on his back (barely,) and had four guns: two hand guns, one machine gun and a sniper rifle. “Let’s go save our favorite fatass.” Kyle said in the coolest fashion he could muster. His “bad ass” catchphrase was met with a stifled laugh from Justin and Mr. Science Teacher, and a protest grunt from Billy.

The boys and their teacher left the school and headed for where they lost Charlie. They looked around and saw nothing. Then, a few girls became visible over the nearby hill. “I found them!!!” One yelled, and a butt load more appeared from over the hill. When the boys looked closer, they saw that the girls were not armed very well. They all had fake microphones and combs. The worst weapon they could find was a plastic butter knife.

“… Maybe we overestimated them a bit?” Mr. Science Teacher asked.

“No one cares. DIE BITCHES!” Justin yelled. He was the kind of person who, when given a gun, goes a bit stir crazy. You know, pyromaniac type person. He went out and shot the fan girls savagely. He was followed by the other two and Mr. Science Teacher. They found a small ramshackle building with the curtains down.

“That’s gotta be the place.” Kyle said. “Ready guys?” He received a nod from the others. “Cool. Mr. Science Teacher, blow the wall off this place.”

“Roger.” Mr. Science Teacher pulled his grenade launcher off his back and blew the wall out. After the smoke cleared, they saw Charlie being tortured in a way that I can’t explain without this story losing its T rating.

“Oh my god!” Everyone covered his eyes. “I’ll never UNsee that!” Billy screamed.

“Can you stop gawking and get me out of here?!” Charlie snapped.

“Not so fast.” The leader said. “I have you all here where I want you, so now you’ll all die!” She pulled two high caliber machine guns from under a table with various… erm… toys on it.

“Give it up, bitch, you’re out numbered and out gunned.” Justin said.

“I don’t think so. Those girls you slaughtered out there were just the distraction to get your guards down.” She said while another bunch of girls came from the basement in the building. Meanwhile, the wall of the building fell back and another army was over the hill. “GET THEM!” All the girls charged with more dangerous weapons than before down the hill. Everyone ran away, Charlie lagging behind pulling his pants up (let’s leave his torture at that, ‘kay?)

The boys ran and eventually found a hiding place under a bridge and sat down to rest. “Damn.” They all said in unison.

“They are worse than we thought.” Justin sighed.

“Who knew they knew so much about THAT…” Charlie whined traumatized.

“I think we’ll have to resort to plan B.” Mr. Science Teacher said.

“What’s that?” Kyle asked.

“Negotiations.” All four of the boys’ mouths dropped.

“Are you CRAZY!?” Charlie yelled. “They can’t be forgiven for the horrible stuff they did!”

“But we’re way outnumbered.” Mr. Science Teacher said.

“But we can’t let that stop us!” Justin yelled. “Remember the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae? They were vastly outnumbered and they didn’t give up!”

“…You were asleep in History class that day, weren’t you?” Kyle asked.

“Kind of, why?”’

“They all died.” Billy said blankly.

Justin’s eyes went wide with fear. He ran around the group screaming with his hoodie tightened. Charlie finally had to slap him. “Snap out of it, man! Just because they died doesn’t mean we can’t rewrite history! Now let’s get out there and kick some ass!”

“That’s probably the coolest thing you’ve ever said.” Kyle remarked.

“Oh, trust me, I’m a deep man.”

“However cheesy he is, he has a point.” Billy said. “We have to keep fighting, because those girls won’t listen to reason.”

“Okay, I’m convinced.” Justin said. “Let’s go kick their asses.” Just then, a giant boulder landed right next to the group. “HOLY CRAP! I forgot they had those!” Justin yelled running away. The others quickly followed him.

“Hey guys, stop!” Mr. Science Teacher said stopping the others. “I almost forgot we had this!” He pulled his grenade launcher from his back and loaded it. “Eat lead, bitches!!!” He yelled firing three shots. Two shots caused mayhem by destroying a couple catapults and sending a few girls flying, while the last one shot off into space and destroyed Pluto.

“Oh my god! You killed Pluto!” Kyle yelled.

“No one cares right now!” Billy yelled.

“But, that’s highly illogical! How can a simple grenade fire thousands of Kilometers into space?!”

“It’s not a planet anymore anyways, let’s go!” Mr. Science Teacher yelled. “Besides, who cares about Pluto?”

“I do.” Mr. Silbernagel said popping out of nowhere.

“Exactly, let’s go!” Mr. Science Teacher said running away with the boys, leaving Mr. Silbernagel to sigh.

Not long after the boys started running, Charlie got tired and forced the others to rest. “Damn, I haven’t run this much for… my whole life actually.”

“Shut up and get rested fatass!” Billy yelled.

“Fine, let’s keep going then.” Charlie said reluctantly. With that, they set off again, only to spot some more fan girls over the hill.

“Crap, they’ve caught me again!” Justin yelled in fear.

“If you hand over the kid peacefully, we’ll be on our way.” The leader said, decked out with various weapons.

“Who you callin’ kid, little girl?!” Justin yelled angrily.

“You, now shut up and come peacefully or you and all your little friends die too!”

“Just get over there, dude!” Charlie yelled.

“No!”

“You know, this is a small town…” The leader girl said. “I wonder if any will be left after an A-bomb were to go off…” She smiled maniacally.

“You do that, and I’ll drop F-bombs like there’s no tomorrow!” Justin scowled.

“Just try to stop us!” The girl said. “Surround them!!!!” The rest of the fan girls were getting ever so closer to the gang. Just when all hope seemed lost, a voice was heard echoing through the Rockies.

“Stop right there!” A female voice commanded. Just then, a rain of gunshots came down like a falling wall and hit all the fan girls to the ground, either dead, or almost dead. Among the almost dead was the leader. Justin walked to here with a loaded pistol.

“You’ve invaded my home town, you’ve almost killed me, and you threatened my friends, but when you threaten my home town, you’ve crossed the line.” He pointed his gun at the girl. “You’ve been Hannah-nated, bitch.” BLAM! He shot the girl in the face and walked off.

“Now, who saved us?!” Billy yelled to the sky.

“We did!” Helicopters came down from the clouds and more girls jumped down assisted with ropes. When one landed she approached the group. “We’re the Jonas Brothers fan girls.”

“Huh?” All four boys and Mr. Science Teacher said in unison.

“Yeah, the Hannah fan girls and the Jo bro (BLEGH courtesy of Justin) fan girls have been feuding ever since the Jonas brothers have been on the air. We heard you killed Hannah and we wanted to congratulate you, but then we heard you were being attacked, so we came to save you.”

“Thank you!!!” Justin yelled. “I didn’t think we would ever get rid of them! Oh, by the way, what’s your name?”

“No Problem! And my name is Amanda.”

“Thanks again!” Justin said sighing in relief and bowing.

“Okay, you’ve made your point… You can stop now…” Amanda said looking at the others and shrugging.

“Oh, sorry.” Justin said getting up and dusting himself off.

“Aw, come on, we could’ve beat them, all I had to do was flash meh guns, and they would have head for the hills.” Charlie said flexing his flabby arms.

“In your dreams, fatass!” Billy yelled.

“Hey guys.” Kyle said, “I think we learned something today…”

“Yeah, don’t kill famous people.” Justin said.

“No.”

“Don’t pick your belly button lint?” Charlie asked.

“NO! We learned that one can’t get too obsessed with a celebrity because they might die or get themselves into big trouble.”

“Aw, that’s boring.” Billy said.

“Yeah, let’s replace it with the belly button lint one.” Charlie said.

“Shut up!” Justin yelled. “I almost died, and all you can talk about is your sick belly button??”

“Hey, wait a sec.” Charlie said. “We went three whole days, and an army was after him, and Justin STILL didn’t die!” Meanwhile, a Jonas Brother fan girl was walking near a catapult when she slipped and pulled the handle by accident. A boulder flew towards the boys and squished Justin.

“GASP! Th-”

THE END

A/N: Finally! I’ve been working on this for weeks and just got it done! So, how do you think? Kind of big for a first episode, but oh, well. Next episode won’t be as epic and it probably won’t take that long for Justin to die. ^_^ Now, a sneak peek of the next episode!!!

“Okay guys! Let’s get ready!” Charlie said as the boys got in their seats. “In a few minutes, we’ll be off… TO THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!!”

A/N: Later guys!!!