Author: CJ - Lady of Gryffindor PM
Once upon a time there was a beautiful maiden named Luna who roomed with her wicked housemates Cho and Marietta. One day,word came that there was to be a ball & George Weasley would chose a girlfriend from the young maidens at Hogwarts! M 4 minor sex talkRated: Fiction M - English - Parody/Romance - George W. & Luna L. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,832 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 01-21-11 - Published: 05-23-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5082588
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
-Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the creation of JK Rowling. I don't know who originally wrote Cinderella, but it wasn't me and I am sure this person is rolling over in their grave as we speak.
-Part one is dedicated to karexdarkxkiss with many, many wishes for a Happy Birthday! Had I known today was your birthday I would have dedicated chapter 7 of Forever from the Ashes to you! Hope you have a good one hun!
Once upon a time in the Village of Hogsmeade there was a beautiful castle which housed a school called Hogwarts school for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hogwarts students were divided up into four houses...Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.
In the house called Ravenclaw, there lived a beautiful maiden by the name of Luna. Luna roomed with her two wicked house-sisters, Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecomb. Cho and Marietta were very mean to Luna. They were vain, snotty, smelled funny, and they made her clean their room from top to bottom and do all their homework because they were too stupid to do it themselves. They were incredibly cruel to Luna...they teased her, laughed at her and called her Lunarella.
Still, Luna was always happy, and she was incredibly sweet and kind. Because of Cho and Marietta, Luna never really had any friends of her own. The only friends she had were two house elves named Dobby and Winky. She made them little outfits and shoes out of the hats that they often found laying around Gryffindor tower and sang to them while she scrubbed the dormitory floor with her own toothbrush (Per Marietta and Cho's orders of course.)
One day Luna was sitting in the corner (she wasn't allowed a chair) doing Marietta's transfiguration homework when Cho burst through the door.
"Marietta! Marietta!" She said as she tracked mud all over the floor that Luna had just cleaned that morning."I have the most wonderful news!"
Marietta, who was sucking down a huge onion,tuna and sardine smoothie, was so startled that the smoothie flew from her hands and landed in the middle of the homework that Luna was doing.
"What is it?" She jumped to her feet
"There's to be a Mule ball...tonight, in the great hall!"
"I think you mean Yule." Luna said from the corner
"Whatever." Cho waved her away
Marietta scratched her head "What's a Yule?"
"Duh" Said Cho "It's the same thing as a mule...but spelled with a Y."
Luna bit down hard on her lip to keep from laughing.
"Actually...Yule, sort of means Christmas." She wasn't about to go into the technicalities...since Cho and Marietta were too stupid to understand anyway.
Cho said snottily "I knew that...I was just seeing if you did."
"A Mule Ball!" Marietta said dreamily "How exciting!"
"Yule." Luna corrected
"Whatever." Said Marietta
"Anyway, you haven't heard the best part." Cho said
"Better than a Mule ball?"
"Yes! Even better than a Mule ball!" Cho grinned evilly "You know those handsome twins in Gryffindor house?"
"The red haired ones?" Marietta sat down on the side of her bed...her expression dreamy "The Weebleys?"
"Weasley." Luna corrected again
"Whatever." said Marietta
"Shut up you ugly girl." Said Cho "Don't you have homework to do?"
Luna shrugged and went back to siphoning tuna, onions and sardines off Marietta's transfiguration homework with her wand.
"Anyway...rumor has it, that Fred has dared George to find a girlfriend by the end of the Mule ball. They've asked that every available girl in the school attend."
Marietta gasped. She'd had her eye on George since she was a first year!
"He's going to be mine at last!" Marietta sighed
"I've already cast the imperious curse on Cedric Diggory to get him to ask me." said Cho with an evil grin
"Oh what will we wear?"
"I'll have to go too then." Said Luna. She got up from the floor and handed Marietta her completed, though smelly, essay.
"YOU?!" Said Marietta with an incredulous laugh
"You?!" Echoed Cho "Go to the Mule ball?"
"Yule" Luna corrected
"Whatever." Cho said with a dismissive wave of her hand.
"You can't go to the ball." Marietta said
"Why not?" Luna asked "You said every available girl in the school is to attend."
Cho and Marietta looked at her for a minute, then turned to each other and started laughing.
"Lunarella!" Marietta screamed with laughter "At the Mule ball!"
"Can you imagine?" Cho laughed "How will she get there? On a Crumbled Horny Snorlack?"
'It's crumple horned snorkack Idiot' Luna said under her breath.
"Wait...wait..." Cho waved her hands animatedly "Of course you can go Lunarella."
"She can?" Marietta sobered "What the bloody hell..." She cut off as Cho elbowed her in the stomach with a loud Ooff
"If..." Cho smiled evilly "She gets her chores done, and all our homework....and has something suitable to wear."
"I don't want her to g...." Marietta began but was stopped once again by Cho slapping her upside the head.
"Oh!" Luna said excitedly "I will...I'll get it all done!"
"See that you do." Cho said as she pulled Marietta into the hall
' I have just the dress...' Luna thought as she went to her trunk. She pulled out a long pink satin gown that had belonged to her mother
'a little mending, maybe some decoration...I'll just run down to Hogsmeade and...'
"LUNARELLA" Cho yelled as they came back into the room, their arms loaded down with books "Go to the library and here's a list of assignments." Cho pulled a huge scroll from her pocket.
"But there's so much!" Luna exclaimed
"Well, we put out the word that you were willing to do homework...quite a few people were more than willing to have you do it."
"But..." Luna began as she eyed the pink dress on her bed.
"Homework first...you agreed..." Marietta smirked
"Okay." Luna said as she took the scroll and the huge pile of books and left the room.
"Now..." said Cho. She and Marietta went to their trunks
"What shall we wear?" Marietta dug deep and pulled out a white sash "Oh I HATE this thing!" She through it into the garbage
"I must have something!" Said Cho...pulling out a blue beaded necklace "That is SO last year...away with it!" and she tossed it in the can atop the sash.
"Cho" Marietta slammed the lid on her trunk closed "I think were just going to have to go into Hogsmeade and buy something new."
"OH!" Cho exclaimed clapping her hands and jumping up and down "I agree! Road trip!"
And they left the room.
There was a loud crack and the two house elves that were Luna's friends appeared.
"You know what Dobby thinks Winky?" Dobby sighed sadly
"That diet Pepsi is much better than diet coke?" Winky said
"No." He shook his head sadly "Well, Dobby thinks that too...but Dobby thinks Miss Luna not go to the Yule ball."
Dobby ran his fingers over the pink satin of Luna's mothers dress. "Night and day, night and day they makes Miss Luna work."
Winky nodded sadly "Night and day ...Lunarella! Do my Potions, Lunarella! do my Charms! Lunarella! Scrub the toilet with your toothbrush!"
Dobby sighed "Dobby thinks Cho and Marietta are big shitheads!"
"Winky rather thinks they are more BY-otches than shitheads."
"Douchebags." Dobby nodded
"Total Fucktards." Winky sighed
"Miss Luna must go to the Yule ball." Dobby sighed "But how?"
"Dobby" Winky said with a huge grin "We can do it!"
"Not now Winky!" Dobby shook his head "Dobby's not in the mood."
Winky reared her foot back and kicked him in the butt.
"Not that!" Winky sighed "Winky thinks Dobby's been reading too much Nasty Naughty Witches from under Ron Weasley and Harry Potter's mattresses!"
"Winky! How do you know about that?" Dobby snapped his fingers, accidentally making himself disappear again. There was a loud crack as he returned "Royal Crappage! Dobby hates when he does that!"
"Dobby needs never mind that now." She sighed "Dobby and Winky can fix Miss Luna's dress!"
She began to dig in the garbage can.
"Winky!" Dobby said crossly "You know what Master Dumbledore said about dumpster diving!"
"Master only said to bring him the really good stuff!" Winky said as she pulled out the sash and beads "Master has no use for ladies pretties."
"Well...not anymore." Dobby shrugged "Not since Master Dumbledore stopped reading Internet porn."
"Professor Snape was bad to show Master those websites!" Winky sighed "Dobby must come with Winky now so we can fix Miss Luna's dress!"
"Dobby and Winky can do it!" Dobby began to sing "We can do it, we can do it, we can..."
"Winky says maybe later...first we must fix Miss Luna's dress!"
Winky giggled and took Dobby's hand, the dress, sash and beads in her other. Dobby snapped his fingers and they were gone.
To Be Continued...
-Pleae review!!!! Please? Don't want to make me cry now do you?