|Secrets: Mine, Yours and Ours
Author: raok PM
Bella and Edward are both in serious relationships that have found their way to a couples counselor. What happens when Edward finds out something that could destroy them both? Will he tell Bella, or keep the truth hidden? A/U, fruitbaskets, BxJmz & ExTRated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 43 - Words: 262,538 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 09-20-10 - Published: 05-23-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5083292
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey Kella Kella!! Wanna come out and POV with me?
Hells to the yea! Look it's our second adventure of Bel&Kel!
Hehe, it sounds like a cheesy 80's movie, but... not gonna lie, this shit is oh-so good, dontcha think?
Not to be redundant, but Hells to the yea!
Kels, you're not redundant, just completely and hopelessly enthusiastic. Which I love. So hey, is this the bit where we tell people that SMeyer owns this?
Yeah, it's just too bad we can't have a perma-disclaimer on our info page. Having to remember to do that shit every chap is lame.
Fact, not fiction. I'm legit excited for this one though... anything else before we get to it?
Umm.... reviews will keep us motivated to continue, even though this is such a good story I don't think we could stop if you asked us to. But fuck, why would you? We're awesome :P
My leg was twitching up and down uncontrollably as I looked up at the clock. Where the fuck was he? We had our appointment at 6:30 on the dot. This was just like him, not fucking caring where I needed to be, only where he wanted to go. I sighed in frustration as I clamped my hand over my thigh to stop the nervous tick. The door creaked open at 6:28 and my head snapped back to look at who walked through. There he fucking was, thank the fucking heavens. He sauntered in like it was no big fucking deal; like we hadn't agreed to meet at the coffee shop across the street at 5:30 to catch up since we'd barely seen each other since last week. No of course I didn't actually miss my boyfriend James, and really there wasn't even a point to us going into couples therapy. Nope, just something else to fucking do because we both weren't busy enough as is. Ugh.
"Hey Babe." He said aloofly, taking the seat beside me and pecking my cheek.
"Really? 'hey babe, that's it?" I asked staring at him pointedly
He shrugged. "Um... I love you?"
I rolled my eyes. "No, 'I'm sorry for blowing you off and meeting you an hour late?'"
"Isn't our appointment at 6:30?"
"We were supposed to meet at 5:30 at the cafe across the street, remember?"
It was like the light bulb finally went off. "Oh, shit! I totally forgot. I got hung up with the guys at the garage and we were just talkin trash, you know how it is babe." There was a beat before he turned to look at me, confused. "But why didn't you call?"
"I did, three times. I thought you were dead in a gutter or something." I snapped. Just then the doctor's door squeaked open and a couple walked out. The woman was absolutely fucking stunning - tall, leggy, blonde hair and blue-ish/green eyes. Fuck it was like her eyes were matched to the waters in Hawaii. Behind her, her boyfriend/husband appeared and if possible he was even more attractive. My breath actually hitched as I saw him look up. His emerald green eyes stared into mine and I felt my cheeks flush at the gaze. He stood taller than his spouse by quite a few inches and his long, lean body was accentuated by the tight fitting black tshirt and dark wash jeans he had on. Fuck, was it wrong to want to hump someone you've never seen before?
"It'd probably be more fucking fun that dealing with you right now." James said under his breath. I sighed and shook my head. Why the fuck did I even bother? Oh right, I loved him or something.
I stood up as the doctor waived us in, glancing over at James. He was eye fucking the blonde as she leaned over the receptionist's desk to pay. I cleared my throat, "James?" He didn't say anything as he licked his bottom lip and pulled it into his mouth.
"JAMES!" I shouted a bit too loudly for the small, quiet room. His eyes flickered to me before back to the blonde and finally settled on my face. "What?"
My head snapped back to the little brunette, sitting in the corner with a murderous gaze in her eye.
"What?" The guy next to her said, looking back at her a bit impatiently. Hell, she just wanted his attention. What the fuck could be more important than... oh. I looked back at Tanya, my fiancée, and realized why. We were in a couples counsellor, and he was checking out my girl. I rolled my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. I told her that I hated it when she wore those tight dresses. People stared at her, and she was gorgeous, but that didn't mean I didn't hate it. In fact, most times I was downright disgusted. I put a ring on her finger. Lay the fuck off.
"Edward, next week?" She said to me as she casually flipped through her datebook.
"Same time." I said, turning my attention back to the brunette. She and her boyfriend were talking quietly--but forcefully-- to one another. She was a real spit fire, I could tell. She was really letting him have it. I was almost proud of this complete stranger. She looked up at me again and met my eye. I sucked in a breath quickly, and even though I wanted to look away, I couldn't. It was like I was being sucked into the vortex of those chocolate brown eyes. In the seven years I'd been with Tanya, I'd never been as enamored with a pair of eyes. I felt Tanya's hand scrape down my chest.
"Ready, Baby?" She asked.
"Yeah... Yeah." I grabbed her hand and marched out to the parking area. We got into the car and I drove in silence, unable to get that poor girl out of my head.
"So what did you think?" Tanya asked, looking out the window.
"It was... good." I sighed and adjusted my grip on the wheel. Tanya'd been complaining for some time now that we haven't been connecting during sex. Hey, my cock found her pussy. That's a connection. I loved her; of course I loved her, and that's why I was doing this. She was unhappy, and I didn't like that. Especially when it was so obviously my fault. I reached out with my other hand and brushed the hair back behind her ear once we got to a red light.
"I love you."
She pulled out her blackberry and began scrolling through menus. "Mhm, you too, babe. You wanna grab dinner?"
I sighed, and pressed down on the accelerator. "Yeah, sure. Anywhere in particular?"
"Mmm, what about the burger joint just up the road?"
She was just so... cold sometimes. It was like she didn't want to be with me, even though I would always give her anything she asked for. I bent over backwards for this girl, and she hardly ever acknowledged me anymore. When we met in college, she was a completely different person. She was fun and vivacious, always going. But once we graduated and she got a job, she started spending less and less time with me. I don't mean to sound like an abandoned housewife; I was really anything but. I'd been working as a free lance photographer since we graduated, and I fucking loved every minute of it. It was amazing to watch someone be transformed simply with the click of my shutter button. Tanya even bought me my first professional camera for our first anniversary. I used to call her shutter bug, too. I exhaled slowly as I turned into the parking lot of the restaurant.
I wanted her back. I only hoped that she wanted me, too.
Our first session with Dr. Carlisle went about as well as expected. I talked about my issues with being able to count on him and how that was becoming a bigger and bigger issue, while James' only complaint was that we didn't fuck enough. The good doc gave us homework our very first session. He wanted us to work on spending more time together. He let us know that it was perfectly normal for a couple who begins dating in college to get too busy for each other after graduation and once our "adult lives" kick in. He thought it'd be great for us to do a date night Saturday. He recommended a restaurant in downtown Seattle that he said he asked all his patients to go to since it was very quiet and romantic. From there, he said to be open minded and let it take us where it may... which I deducted was his way of helping James with his complaint.
The week went by and I saw James even less. There were times it didn't even seem like we were dating and after nearly 5 years together, you'd think that we'd be more in synch. But nope, not James and I. So when Saturday night rolled around half of me was excited to see him for the first time in days, and the other half wanted to bail on the evening and sit at home eating ice cream and watching the latest netflix movie that was sitting in my mailbox.
But I did love James and I wanted to work through all this shit to either get better or to get to a point where it was clear there was no point left in trying. So I tried; I put on my little black dress - the only semi-nice dress i had in my wardrobe and a pair of flats so I didn't ruin the evening by landing myself in the ER. I took a cab to the restaurant, figuring that I'd wind up spending the evening at James' or at the very least, he could drive me home. Part of me was anxious; it almost felt like a first date. And technically it was. This was the first real date we'd had since our first date back in college. James wasn't big on romance, or being sweet, or doing the 'little things'. He was big on the "let's be real" and didn't have any pretenses. He did what he said and didn't skirt around issues, even difficult ones. Those were qualities that I admired; he was very true to who he was and never pretended to be anything else.
I walked into the restaurant and my eyes scanned the room quickly, trying to pick him out. I didn't see him at a table and then I spotted the bar. Of course he'd be there; My eyes went from face to face as I walked over, not one of those faces being James. My eyes focused on a familiar bronze haired man and I smirked to myself, Dr. Carlisle really did advise all his patients to go here. Maybe he owned the restaurant as a side business? I took one more glance around the restaurant for my boyfriend before walking towards the green eyed god and taking a seat in the bar stool beside him. "Popular spot for Dr. Carlisle's patients, eh?" I said to him as I waved the bartender down.
I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye as he chuckled. "Seems to be. I'm Edward."
My body swiveled to face him. "Bella." I stated, returning the smile.
"So what brings you all the way out here tonight?"
The bartender finally came our way, and I ordered a vodka tonic. "A homework assignment. Doctor's ordered date night." I took a sip of my drink before looking up at him and getting momentarily drawn into his eyes. "What about you?"
He laughed lightly twirling the bottle of beer along the bar top. "Guess our doc's not too original. My fiancée's running late though."
I knew he had someone else, but that didn't stop the twinge of pain from shooting to my heart at the word fiancee. "Mine appears to have forgotten."
He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side, seemingly confused. "Forgotten? Have you called?"
I laughed a little, shaking my head. "Calling James has no effect. Even if he did by the grace of god pick up, there's no guarantee he'd leave whatever he was doing if he thought it was more enjoyable than the alternative."
"Well, he's an idiot then. Nothing would keep me from my girl."
Is it considered epic heart-fail if your heart breaks because the guy saying what you wish the man you loved would say, aren't one in the same? "Your girl's really fucking lucky then." I said with a half smile playing at my lips
He took a swig from his beer and set it back down on the counter. "I wish she thought so." His eyes caught mine and for a brief moment I could have sworn everyone else just faded into the background. His words snapped me back to reality: "Guess that's why we're in counseling though, huh?"
I nodded, taking a big sip of my drink. "So did your fiancee give you an ETA? Is she just running a few minutes late, or one of those 'honey I have to run home and change, see you in two hours' kinds of late?"
"Mm, more like 'we're having an emergency strategy meeting, and i'll call you when I"m done kind of late" he peeked down at his watch, glancing at it casually. "Actually, in about five minutes, she'll call and say she's not gonna make it."
"That kinda sucks." I said frowning sympathetically. "Well," I began, sliding off the seat, "if she does wind up bailing - which I sincerely hope she doesn't - and you want to still get some food, I'll be over there." I motioned to an empty 2 person table over looking the bay.
"Well, if you don't mind I'll join you now?" He asked, looking at me like a wide eyed lost puppy.
Not going to fucking lie, my heart sped up a bit at his request and I nodded, trying to hide the gigantic fucking smile that wanted to spread across my face. "Sure."
I smiled back at her bewildered face and felt this weird cramp in my stomach as she looked at me. I must have eaten something. I thought that tuna sandwich earlier tasted fishy...
I followed her over to her table, and took the place across from her picking up the menu. "So your sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind walking in on us?"
She laughed a little and folded her napkin in her lap. "James won't be here. If he had any intention of showing up tonight he'd be here already. What about your fiancee? Won't she be a little peeved if she does come by and sees you eating with another girl?"
I laughed at (first) the thought of Tanya actually showing up and (second) how red her face would be if she saw us. "Yeah, probably. But what's wrong with me wanting to have dinner with my new friend Bella?"
"I don't know. I know I'd be a little worried if you were my boyfriend and I saw you at a fancy restaurant like this eating dinner with another woman."
I folded my menu back down and looked at Bella. She was attractive, definitely; beautiful even. She had this sort of... kind thing going on that definitely made me take a second look. But I had a fiancée, and no matter how unhappy we were, I wouldn't cheat on her. I loved her. "If you were my finacée, you wouldn't have to worry. I wouldn't leave you alone long enough to get into a situation like this."
"I - I don't mean to be rude, especially because I've enjoyed your company. But then why not go to her? Surprise her with take out or something. You don't need to be here now that the homework experiment has gone awry for us both."
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. It was complicated, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to get into it now with a girl a just met. "Listen, I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. Maybe I should go home."
She put her hand over mine on the table. "No! I mean... please don't. I didn't mean to pry, I'm sorry."
My eyes shot down to her hand over mine and I was baffled by the electric tingle I felt passing between us. She retracted her hand quickly and folded them in her lap. "Hey," I said, dipping my head down to catch her eye. "It's fine. It's just that Tanya and I are a bit... complicated. It's not as simple as wanting her, and going to her." I wanted it to be that way; fuck if I didn't want it to be that way.
She tilted her head to the side. "Why not? Shouldn't it be? Shouldn't love be 'I love you, you love me. Let's be together and just enjoy it for as long as we're fortunate to have it'?"
I sighed and saw the waiter coming at us out of the corner of my eye. "I should be. But if it were like that, what the hell would we be doing in therapy?"
She quirked an eyebrow and we gave the waiter our order. When he left, I figured she owed me.
"So you and your boyfriend. Why won't he come and sweep you off your feet?"
Bella laughed a little, taking a sip of water. "I don't think he even knows what that term means, let alone how to do it."
"Why stay with him then? It seems like he lets you down a lot."
"Why? Because despite everything I do love him. James may not always say or do the right thing, but he is always who he is. I like having a constant like that. Not many people are genuine these days. I can live with a little let down every now and again, and no romance. It's not like I've ever had any before. Can't miss what you never had, right?"
I looked at her and her solid indifference and instantly felt sorry for her. I really just wanted to take her away from that. "You deserve that, though. Everyone does."
She shrugged. "Like I said Edward, I can't miss what I never had. I can think of all the romantic things I wish he would do but I can't dwell on it. It's not the type of person James has ever been and for me to discard him for being anything but the man he is would go against every reason that I love him."
I didn't make sense to me. She seemed to want all of the things that she was talking about, but didn't see herself as worth them. She loved this James for god only knows what reason, and clearly she was hell bent on staying with him. Just like Tanya and I when I thought about it.
There wasn't really a chance to dwell on anything, because our food arrived and we talked about everything but the reason we'd met. It just seemed weird to be sitting across from someone who was iin exactly the same situation as I was. She could probably sympathize and understand, but for some reason I was still reluctant to talk to her. It just didn't make sense. After a short scuffle for the check (which I insisted on paying) we were heading outside, and I pulled out my keys.
"Where's your car?" I asked, clicking the lock on the volvo.
"Oh, well, I was just gonna walk for a bit. I don't feel like going home right away."
I shifted and pushed my hands in my pockets. "That's probably not such a good idea. There's a ton of wolves around here."
She laughed a little and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'll be fine, Edward, but thanks. And for dinner, too. It was really nice."
She started to walk away, but I felt this weird pang in my chest. "Hey, Bella, WAIT!" I called after her. She turned slowly, her eye brows knit together in confusion. "Lemme walk with you."
"Oh... no, it's okay. I'll be fine. No worries."
I looped her arm through mine and continued walking. "I insist."
It was all too tempting to rest my head against him as we walked and talked about everything and nothing. But I refrained. It was weird enough that this felt like a date and we both had respective significant others. Couple that with the fact that I was far too comfortable with him considering we'd only officially met a few hours ago, and it was getting to be too much. I pulled away from his arm and walked over to the water's edge, leaning against the wood railing. "I really think Gargamel was just being racially profiled for not being a smurf." Edward said as he caught up and leaned against the railing beside me. My body shivered as a gust of wind wizzed by and I laughed. "Racially profiled, huh?" I said turning my face to his and smirking. He nodded adamantly removing his jacket and draping it over my shoulders without a second thought. "Yep, think about it. Were there any villians that were smurfs?"
I thought a moment and shook my head. "I don't think so; I don't remember any."
His face beamed as he took in my thoughtful expression. "You were really thinking about it weren't you? Trying to think of the smurf bad guys?"
I blushed and laughed to myself, looking down at the ground. "Maybe."
His fingers curled under my chin and lifted my face up to his. "That's kind of awesome." He said, grinning. We stood there looking at each other, smiling like dopes for what felt like ages. Slowly, I felt his hand slide from my chin up to my jaw and cup my cheek. His touch felt amazing, it spread heat throughout my body.
"Bella..." he whispered, gazing down at me. My heart was thumping at a million beats a second and I leaned towards him, closing my eyes as I lightly brushed my lips against his. I went back over them, letting my lips linger a little longer. The third time my lips came into contact with his, he kissed back. His lips pressed against mine and my arms looped around his neck. He tasted amazing.
First we were talking about smurfs and now I was... kissing her. How one had led to the other, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted it, and fuck, it kind of felt like she wanted it too. Her hand came up and tugged at my hair, so I pulled her closer to me, fully and completely in the moment. But then Bella moaned. It wasn't the usual, half bored moan that Tanya usually gave me, but rather an incredibly aroused and ready to go moan. That pulled me right out of it. I pulled back and my eyes snapped open. But Bella... Bella, stayed where she was, her lips slightly parted and puckered, and her skin flushed. It took every ounce of strength in me to pull away. I dropped my arms from around her and her eyes snapped open and she turned the most beautiful shade of red as she blushed.
"Fuck, Bella, I'm... I'm sorry." The thing is though, I wasn't. That scared the shit out of me.
"No... no, it's fine."
I put my fingers up to my lips, then looked back at the parking area. "So, I... I'd better be going. We'll get together again though, right?"
She twisted her fingers in front of her self as she bit her bottom lip. "Uh, yeah. I guess so."
I nodded and started walking away. "Okay then."
"I'll see you later, Bella. " I said, watching her eyes close off and her body go rigid.
I turned away from her and jogged back to my car.
What the fuck was I doing?