Author: summerleigh81 PM
A rendition of New Moon. Edward 'leaves' differently changing how things happen. Can he really be gone forever and can Bella have the normal life he wanted for her? Sometimes the journey we take is very different, but the destination is the same.Rated: Fiction M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 136,319 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 02-13-10 - Published: 05-29-09 - id: 5096395
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or any of it's Characters. I don't own any Weezer lyrics or any ancient, Chinese proverbs (not matter how badly I butchered them).
This begins roughly at the end of page 63 of New Moon with everything before to remain in tact. For the purposes of this story it will be called chapter one.
It had been a long day. I hadn't seen Edward since yesterday. I trembled a little as I remembered how I had watched him drive away after he declined staying the night. I may have been shocked that he wasn't in school today if I hadn't been greeted by Alice as I walked to my first class. That was the only good thing about today that Alice was finally back. We hadn't talked much at school, but she promised that she would come by later so that we could talk.
I removed the key from my truck's ignition and the change in the volume still didn't cease to amaze me. I ran up the steps and after unlocking the door I stumbled across the floor and threw my backpack on the table. It nearly slid off the other end, but stopped at the edge. I had enough time to go freshen up before I would go out to the woods behind my house to meet Alice. She thought it would be best just in case Charlie came home in the middle of our conversation. Although if Alice offered it as a maybe I considered it to be more of a certainty. Looking in the bathroom mirror I was reminded again how normal, how plain I looked in comparison to them, compared to Edward. Lost in thought I jumped realizing that I needed to go meet Alice. In a bit too much of a hurry I about fell down half the stairs before I caught myself on the railing. I had tripped on something. Probably thin air I thought to myself. I grabbed my jacket from the back of the chair as I headed out the door. At least it wasn't raining, but Alice probably already took that into account. I was surprised that she wasn't already there so I just kept walking. It wasn't really like Alice to be late, but we hadn't actually talked since…my birthday…since Jasper -. Well, it didn't matter she knew I had no blame for anyone…except for myself. I continued to walk listening to the crunch of the leaves that had already fallen and twigs beneath my feet. I let out a big yawn. I really hadn't slept well, last night. I had a weird dream, weird even for me, but I couldn't quite remember it. I struggled to get the images to return to my mind as I listened to the crunch, crunch under my feet. I'm not sure how long I had been walking, but all of a sudden I felt a cool breeze across my face and the ever stylish Alice was standing right in front of me. My face lit up automatically, but she was not her usual perky self. I guess she really hadn't been all day, but I was just so glad to have her back that I hadn't noticed. Not only that, but I can't notice everything. I am only human after all and dealing with one moody vampire was more than I could handle. Maybe she would shed some light on that mystery too. After all now that she was back I could ask her all the questions that I originally had wanted to bombard her with and I wouldn't have to use my back up plan of bothering Carlisle with all of my questions.
After getting a better look at her grave expression my face dropped uncontrollably. I no longer felt the anticipation and hope that I was filled with when I first saw her and I paused to take a second look at her. Her eerie expression coupled with her dark outfit made me shudder. She had on a black dress that hugged her petite figure. The lace trim gently hung around her neck, the cuffed, short sleeves clung to her small arms, and the thick waistband only exaggerated her thin middle before the dress billowed out like a tiny black cloud that whirled around her knees in the breeze. It looked like an outfit straight from a 1950's sitcom. After giving it a second thought it really could be from the '50's, but I shook my head at the silly thought and returned my concentration to the dismal figure that stood before me. Everything from the black ribbon that sat in the middle of her head separating the smooth bangs from the spiky back of her black hair down to the black shoes that adorned her tiny feet, she was completely in black. Her pale skin stood in contrast which only intensified her solemn look. She looked like she just left a funeral and I blurted out "Wow, who died?" under my breath, but I had no doubt that she heard me. I didn't think much of it since if she had remembered anyone from her human past they would probably be long since passed and as far as everyone else well, they're immortal. That's why I barely understood her when she instantly replied "Edward." I stood there dazed I obviously heard her wrong or she misunderstood me. "Wh-what?" I stammered. Alice let it all flow out of her little, perfect mouth careful not to speak too fast for me, but spoke just fast enough to purge the words from her mouth as if they were poison should could bear no longer to hold in. I stood there in disbelief. I was waiting for this mistake to be cleared up or better yet waiting for Edward to walk up and wrap his cold arms around me. The longer I waited the more I realized that wasn't going to happen.
Alice's account began "You know Edward makes sure that nothing happens to you when you're sleeping, that he checks on you. "
I wasn't quite sure what I knew at the moment, but this was not a question nor did she pause for my response.
She continued "Last night Victoria was stalking your house and nearby areas when she got especially close. Edward tried to her intercept her."
I shivered, but I wasn't cold. There were a million things swirling around in my head. Each thought more chilling than the one before. I couldn't believe Victoria was here…so close and that it all happened here, while I slept, because of me.
Alice was still talking "Edward didn't know what he was going to find and Victoria was preparing for an attack at a later time, an unplanned time I imagine. That's why I didn't…didn't see." A pang of guilt shot across her face. "We didn't make it in time." Her voice fell at the end and what sounded like a sob came out as she took a breath. She quickly started again "Victoria fled with Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle in close pursuit. Rosalie, Esme, and myself stayed to…to tie up loose ends. They have already left to join the hunt."
I silently wished that I could join them. I got lost in thoughts of seeking revenge, if in fact I could actually be of any help, but that was beside the point at the moment. I was ripped from my thoughts by a shrill voice exclaiming "Bella, you're turning blue!"
I gasped at the sound of her voice and realized that I actually needed to make a conscious effort to breathe. Just then a breeze made me shiver as it blew against my tear soaked face although I hadn't even noticed that I was crying. The breeze was long gone and the air felt very still, too still, but I was still shaking.
Alice's guilt stricken face stared back at me as her lips gently began to move
"Bella, I have to go now."
"So, I'll see you when you get back?" I managed to spit out between the low sobs that had begun to escape my mouth.
She shook her head. "We're not coming back."
There was just too much hurt to get out a coherent response, but I'm sure it was conveyed on my face because Alice responded.
"We just can't …without Edward."
"But…" I tried to protest, but she placed her hands gently on my shoulders and said "Even if we could bare it, what explanation would we give what new charade would we have to put on?" She paused briefly to try to shake some of the grief out of her voice it didn't work but she continued "A fresh start will be best for everyone."
Afresh start? I couldn't even comprehend what she was saying. What was I supposed to do go on like he never existed!?!
"Will you at least give me a call when…the hunt is over?" I didn't know how else to say it so I just used her word for it, but I was thinking more like revenge.
"We don't think that would be best." Alice said very quietly.
I was trembling very hard by this point and when it eased it took me a moment to realize that Alice had wrapped her stone arms around me. It was as if the Grand Canyon itself had embraced me. She stepped back a bit so our eyes could meet, but she never released her arms from me. Her lips quivered and when she spoke my name it was as if I had been struck by lightning. The electrical current shot down from my head all the way down to my toes. It wasn't actual lightning that struck me, even though I already knew that, it was the reality that nothing was going to be the same…ever. It felt like the forest was spinning and I may have fallen over if Alice hadn't been holding on to me.
"Bella, Bella, can you hear me?"
I refocused and was looking into Alice's eyes again although I'm not sure if I actually had looked away. I listened as Alice seemed to struggle with speaking again after everything she already had said.
"Bella, this is very important. We are leaving to take care of this…of Victoria, but not only that. We have to make sure that no one else will come to hurt you." She seemed to struggle with getting the following words out and she shook her head as if that would help dispel them from her mouth "Edward would not want that to happen." Her head hung heavy once she did finally get the words out and she looked towards the ground for a moment until she looked back up at me. Some of the guilt had been masked with the intensity as she continued "Nobody blames you, Bella. This wasn't your fault." Her voice was shaking, but it had nothing to do with a lack of sincerity as she spoke. Her words weren't exactly truthful because someone did blame me more than anyone else could…myself. She tightened her grip on my arms slightly as she said "You have to be ok, nothing bad can happen to you Bella, it would…"
Defeat the whole purpose of Edward…fighting for me, for Edward being gone, gone from us forever, that it would be all for nothing. We both knew that was the reason, but neither one of use would say it.
I was shaking at the thought 'all for nothing' which was exactly how I was feeling anyway.
"Bella, you have to promise me you will do your best."
She barely choked out the words and it broke my heart into a million more pieces. Whenever I felt as if I couldn't break anymore I was proven wrong.
I nodded my head in response to Alice's request, but knew I owed her, owed E..everyone the promise and at least as much as the words so I mustered enough strength to barely get out a whisper but I wholeheartedly meant it when I said "Yes, I promise.".
I was still shaking when Alice briefly kissed my cheek and then disappeared. It had pained her to be here, with me, to speak the words. She felt just as much guilt as I did; I could see it in her eyes. She just couldn't bear to be here another second and I really couldn't blame her. I didn't want to be here either.
I was staring up at the leaves looking at the cracks in between where the sunlight barely seeped through. I was staring for quite awhile before I realized I was looking up because I was lying on the ground, but it didn't motivate me to move. It was like time had stopped and I blinked hard to try to find the sunlight that once poked through the leaves, but it had long since disappeared. It was then that I caught a glimpse of the moon. It must have escaped the cover of the clouds for a brief moment and I let out a painful sigh. It was the same moon that had sat in the sky the night before and all the nights prior. All of the nights I had spent with him and yet it wasn't. It was a different moon. And I was a different Bella. I was no longer the Bella that had love or hope or… I couldn't even think of his name and I stopped my mind from going there. Nothing mattered in that moment; it felt as if nothing would ever matter again. How could it? I was missing the things that no one should be without, love and hope, and in their place was an empty space. A hole in my heart.
It was then that I heard the voices calling my name in the distance. At that moment I didn't really care if they found me, if anyone ever found me, but instinctively I opened my mouth to call out to them and when nothing came out I closed my eyes and just laid there until all I could hear were the raindrops around me.
I opened my eyes as if I had been startled awake, but I don't think I was actually sleeping. I heard the voices again, further away this time and I didn't even make an attempt to call out this time, having no faith in my feeble voice. It was then that I heard noises that sounded like an animal walking lightly in the same crunchy leaves and twigs I had walked in earlier.
'Perfect' I thought. What could be a more fitting, a more appropriate ending to this day than me being ripped to shreds by wild animals?
But the noises stopped and I barely had time to snap out of my crazy thoughts when a flickering light passed by my face and then all of a sudden the bright light was all that I could see.
The voice had no familiarity, but he was not calling my name in search as the others had. He was confirming that I was found. Looking up at him he seemed to be as tall as the trees, but I was reminded that I was lying on the ground when he reached out his hand. When I not as much acknowledged his existence, not to mention his hand, he said "Have you been hurt?"
Unsure as to how to answer I continued to stare. With minimal hesitation the tall man swept me in his arms and swiftly carried my limp body through the forest. Any other day being carried off into the night by a stranger would be cause for alarm, but not this day. There just wasn't anything left in me to upset.
The man, Sam Uley he said his name was, stopped when he came upon my father.
He must've handed me over because the next thing I knew Charlie was gently laying me onto the couch. At this point I was considering the likeliness that I wouldn't even have to make the effort of climbing up the stairs to my bedroom thinking that surely someone would scoop me up and transport me like a human escalator long before I would even have to make the effort to do so myself. I had become 'Bella Swan – sack of potatoes' or at least I was being carried around as casually as such. What an absurd thing to be thinking about and that's when I noticed the dozen or so people standing in my house. They were staring at me wondering, no doubt, what the heck I was thinking about just laying there with a blank look in my eyes. Well, it was better to let them stand there and think I'm crazy then to open my mouth with "Oh, I was just picturing myself as a burlap sack of potatoes' and confirming it for everyone.
"Bella, Can you hear me? Are you hurt?" Dr. Gerandy said very calmly. I don't know how long he was standing directly in front of me, but I was trying to answer his questions. I was nodding my head because I could hear him and then I started shaking it because I supposed the correct answer was that I wasn't hurt.
I saw the confusion in his face as he watched my head go every which way and the odd wobbling was probably causing the doctor and everyone else to wonder if I had been muted by the whole ordeal. So, I began to say "I'm, I'm not hurt. I'm ok." It came out raspy and choked and was probably the furthest thing from the truth, but as far as it pertained to the doctor's assessment I suppose it was just as much the truth as anything else. When the doctor was through with taking my pulse and whatever else he was doing or saying I closed my eyes and tried to make everything go away, the doctor in front of me, all of the people in my house, the day…everything. Or maybe I was trying to bring everything back happiness, hope, normalcy, Alice, E… No I shook my head. I wasn't going to think about this, not here, not now. I prefer not to have an audience when I break into hysterics. So, I backed up – happiness. How could I ever be happy again? Hope. What was there to have hope and dream for now? And normalcy, yeah, I almost chuckled on that one, but I've never been normal so what if my best friend and boyfriend were vampires? The routine we had developed over the past several months was normal to me. It was the only thing I could even hope for now. I shuddered at the past tense and decided to stop thinking about it before I blurted something out loud and was carted off to the looney bin.
Dr. Gerandy continued speaking to my father saying that everything seemed fine and that I was probably just exhausted. He added that he would check on me in the morning, after I got some sleep. The next thing I knew I was being scooped up and taken upstairs. Yep, Bella Swan – Sack o' potatoes.
Charlie laid me down on my bed and told me he would be right back. I understood since he still had a room full of people downstairs and the phone had begun to ring off the hook.
I was still damp and uncomfortable, but it was better than the alternative -moving. So I just laid there and…nothing. I just laid there.
AN - I know it's starts at a sad point, but let me know what you think :)