AN: I personally really enjoyed writing this because it is so different to my other stories. However, if you are reading this because you liked my other DN fanfictions, please be careful.

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Arms entangled, breathing one breath, he lay in the arms of his lover.

From where I stood at the darkened doorway I felt my heart ache irrepressibly. They were so content, comfortably speaking, oblivious to my presence. I was a pained observer watching their own little private moment. Their heaven was the tormenting reminder of my hell. Unavoidable. Inescapable.

A soft, sweet breath on his companion’s neck, and a low voice speaks. “You brought this upon yourself.”

Then with a cruel smile he looks right at me.

-

Nothing has changed for me.

Everyday I feign attentiveness as my teachers talk endlessly of uninteresting things. I smile easily to those around me, go along with their games on occasion. I pretend that their all-too-common pursuits actually mean something to me.

And every night I fall into sleep against my will and dream that taunting dream.

“You…” The voice that disturbs me belongs to none other than him, my sadistic tormentor. “What are you doing here? Dammit, Matt!”

The boy is about the same age as me, still so young. We are too young to know love, and yet old enough to hurt over it. His face is beautiful despite his constant scowl, and partially hidden under smooth blonde hair. He is agitated, but that is normal. I smile in greeting.

“Mello.”

“Do you know how long I have been looking for you?!” I am an inconvenience.

“I’m sorry, there was a match on and I thought I’d have some fun.” I grin at him teasingly, though inside I can feel the intense jealousy that his presence inspires in me. “Why, do I need to tell you my whereabouts all the time, mother?”

He scowls and rubs my head aggressively. “Shut up.” I laugh, like I’m meant to.

Mello releases me and walks back towards Wammy House. There is the unspoken command to follow. I have to run slightly to catch up.

There had been no match on the field, I had been stealing a rare moment to myself free from all the annoyances and pretense I had to deal with constantly. We are the only ones here, surrounded by silence.

“Near…” I jump at the name that Mello has just spoken in an uncharacteristically serious voice. “Matt, he…he beat me again. He did it again. How…”

I’m not meant to respond. I’m meant to say nothing and when the vulnerability passes to pretend nothing ever happened. As usual he just shakes it off and walks faster.

“Dammit, he will not outdo me again!” he hisses to himself, suddenly angry, but who at I’m not sure. He grabs my arm forcefully and begins to drag me somewhere.

Down stretching hallways, past our many classrooms, it becomes apparent to me where we are headed. It can’t be…he isn’t-

Mello pushes through the door of the common room heavily. “Fuck you, Near!” he shouts and most of the other children turn to see what is going on. A few have learned better and don’t acknowledge him. He is still gripping my arm too tightly – he has probably forgotten about it already.

There he is, the boy who we both gravitate ourselves around. The source of Mello’s hatred and my emotional turmoil, looking up at us calmly from under that sweetly curling hair. Near.

“What is it, Mello.” His voice is as emotionless as his expression. Every word is a stabbing pain in my heart.

“Dammit, don’t give me that! You got a better grade than me again!” He steps forward menacingly, clenching his free hand into a fist. “You had better tell me how the hell you do it, or I swear I will bruise that irritating face of yours beyond recognition!”

As I watch them it’s building up again. That powerful rage and jealousy I feel whenever Mello is near, which is so much of the time. Unavoidable.

“As I understand it, you got a perfect score, Mello.”

“And you still managed better! Tell me how you do it! Tell me!”

The temptation is growing stronger with every passing second. My suppressed anger, hatred and envy are threatening to overwhelm me, until I can’t take it anymore. This feeling is, after all, inescapable.

“Hey!”

Everybody is silent. I am the one who laughs about everything, the one who stands behind Mello and avoids confrontation.

Today I am going to create it.

“Mello,” I smile dangerously, for once allowing some of my true emotions to show through. I shake off his grip with one strong movement of my arm, and step towards him slowly. He is stunned, and a little worried. He should be.

I slip my arm around his shoulders and draw him close to me, so close, until his face is inches from mine and our bodies are pressed together intimately. “Mello…” I speak slowly and quietly, taunting him. “I love you.”

Then I brush my lips against his, a lover’s caress. His mouth is warm against mine and strands of his hair fall gently on my arm.

We are all so vulnerable.

I release him and savour his expression of shock with a kind of vengeful satisfaction. Mello touches his lips lightly with his fingers, as if to check that the kiss had actually happened. “Uhh…” For once the boy is at a loss for words. “I…you…”

Unable to fully process or comprehend what has just occurred, he flees from the room. Around me children begin to whisper among themselves, some even laugh, some seem envious. I ignore them and turn my gaze to Near.

He is already staring at me, and our eyes meet easily. He has not moved and shows no sign of any reaction to what I have done. He merely sits and watches me. My incomparable, beautiful Near.

The smile on my face now is more honest than the one I usually wear. It is cruel and sadistic. I am not the victim anymore. I am in control.

I leave the room confidently.

-

“Welcome to Wammy House!” a smiling girl says happily. I don’t care at all about the orphanage, or the people in it. I just want to know why my brother loved me so little he had to send me here.

A feminine-looking boy shoves the girl out of the way. “Shut up, Linda! He doesn’t want to hear it!” The boy turns his scowling face my way, as if examining me. After a few moments he looks away and walks off. I suppose he thinks he’s done me a favour.

There are many children here, all gathered together to greet me, the new kid. Most are welcoming but some of them appear to resent me for the interruption. I can’t help but wonder what’s so enjoyable in this bleak place that they can feel annoyed being dragged away from it.

The old man who has kept his hand on my shoulder comfortingly this whole time, Roger, goes around the room and introduces me to everyone. The girlish blonde one I learn is called Mello. He is unsociable and keeps away from the other children. I wonder if that is how he always behaves.

I don’t pay attention to most of what Roger is saying. I do not plan on being here long enough for introductions to be necessary. We have worked our way through the crowd when the old man signals for me to follow him to the back of the room.

“Now, Near, please say hello to Matt.” Crouching on the floor and partially hidden by some furniture is a small boy. He looks at me without emotion and I am struck by the intelligence I see in his eyes. This weak-looking child, with his unsettling eyes and shining hair, I can only describe as beautiful. I feel my heart flutter oddly.

I had not spoken since my arrival, but something urges me to speak. “Hello, Near.” I feel Roger’s kind smile directed at me; it is the first time he has heard my voice. The boy blinks and his gaze never changes.

“Hello, Matt.”

--

AN: Not everybody will like this kind of story, but please be gentle when reviewing. I am only a new writer.

The story is set when they are all around fourteen years old at Wammy House. Since this is my first MattxNear, MattxMello pairing, if you see any mistakes in information tell me and I'll make sure to change it. Thankyou. :)