AN: I've been having some trouble with the title for this story lately. When I named it I intended on calling it 'My Torment' for short, but after mixing up all the words every time I've talked about it for the past few days, I've finally settled on 'Sadistic Lover'. Of course, when I'm writing notes or typing it up I just use the acronym 'SL'.

The initial idea was, though, that my parents are considerably less weirded out when they hear me say 'My Torment'...oh well, I still really love the title I chose. :)

--

He looks up at me, his face half in shadow, and I see that his eyes are shining with pain. Mello says nothing, merely stares at me, until my surprise slowly turns into anger.

“What,” I speak in a low voice, mistrustful of this sudden appearance. “Do you want?”

His eyes don’t move from my face. I am unnerved by his unflinching gaze, it feels as if he is seeing something else in me, or maybe simply wants to. “I…wanted to see you…” A faint blush shows on his cheeks, and once again I am caught off-guard.

It is almost surprising in itself to find that this boy can go a minute without swearing or scowling – or both. There is a part of me that feeds on this vulnerability he is showing me, and I can’t help but want to see more.

“You wanted to see me...” I smile at him, an expression of cruelty and one completely in control. As I speak I move slowly, resting my knee on the bed and pushing him lightly down on it. “How...quaint of you,” I whisper as I lower my lips to his.

Mello doesn’t fight it. I did not expect him to; I am only giving him what he wanted. He came to my room unsettled, confused, his ego bruised by what I did to him earlier. He foolishly wants me to pretend that it meant something so that he can justify his reaction, then and now. He wants me to lie to him.

And oh, lie I will.

I place my hands on the pillow, one on either side of his head. He may not realise it, but this way I have him completely trapped. Mello responds to the kiss, resting his arms lightly on my back, as if scared to do anything more. How innocent. How entertaining.

Here is his reward, I lean in even closer, putting more pressure on his lips, and parting my own slightly. Looking at him through half open eyes I see him blush a deeper shade, and I smile into his mouth and kiss him harder.

So close to him I can feel his heart pounding, while my own remains unmoved. Mello’s arms loosen from their place on my back and he wraps them instead around my neck, entwining his fingers in my hair. His mouth parts beneath mine, a sign that he has given himself up completely to me.

In response I pull away, savouring his dazed expression as he opens his eyes, questioning the sudden distance. My smile widens. “Mello,” I whisper, moving my lips to caress the skin beneath his ear, and I am amused to feel him tremble.

“Why, Mello,” I speak oh-so quietly, kissing his neck in between words. “Would you want to see me?”

His fingers lace themselves more deeply into my hair, and his breath becomes increasingly ragged as my mouth travels to his collarbone. ‘You have no...idea how much you...hurt me, Matt,” he manages to say, his voice delightfully rough.

“Oh, don’t I?” I touch his skin with my tongue and he gasps at the new sensation. I trace his collarbone, and then around the edge of his ear, finally biting the lobe lightly with my teeth. Mello clings to me, making moans and whimpers that he doesn’t seem able to contain and which only drive me on.

I could have taken him the moment I found him on my bed, but it is so much more enjoyable to toy with him like this, doing so little but stirring him on to so much. His lips have the taste of victory to them. In life what is there really but triumph and love?

“Matt,” he speaks into my hair breathlessly. “...always...playing with me...” Mello’s grip tightens on my neck, and a moment of surprise registers in my mind at his words.

Curious now, my gaze moves to his face, and my lips brush his jawbone. At the same time I lift one of my hands and slowly move it under his shirt, his gasps giving me a beautiful sense of self-satisfaction. “Ah!” the boy beneath me breathes and my hand travels further, running across his chest confidently.

“You...you’re always so close...” He tries to speak again, he’s trying to tell me something, and believe me I want to hear what it is, but his reactions are just too addictive. “So close...only to me...but, you always look...at him.”

My lips, which had been exploring the side of his face, stop suddenly when his skin suddenly tastes of salt. I pull away slightly and see that he is crying. “Matt, I really...” Mello looks at me with tear-filled eyes, his expression full of pain and almost pleading. “I love you.”

We are all playing a game here at Wammy House. Whoever tells the truth, loses.

-

“Come play with us, third place,” that annoying blonde calls out to me, his tone mocking.

“Sure!” I grin at him, but quickly look back at the screen of my Gameboy, my fingers moving furiously over the controls. “Just let me finish this round, okay?”

“Fine, but don’t blame us if we start without you,” he gives me an arrogant smile and leaves the common room. Some boys follow his lead, but a couple of others stay back to chat with me.

“Don’t worry, we’ll wait,” one of them reassures me.

“You’re always playing that game. You must be pretty good at it by now, yeah?” another speaks in a friendly voice, but I can’t imagine he’s genuinely interested.

I flash him a sheepish smile. “I should hope so,” I joke good-naturedly.

They nod and smile back but one of them keeps sending lingering glances at the door. “Oh, you don’t have to wait for me. I’ll just be a second, okay?” I assure them, and they jump on it, heading gratefully to the door.

“Right. We’ll see you on the field, then!”

My fingers stop abruptly when I’m sure they have left the room. “Aww, I lost!” I say to no one in particular, and put the console in my pocket before standing up and stretching my worn-out fingers. Inwardly I sigh and head to the door.

“Uh, Matt?” the overly happy girly voice could only belong to one person.

“Linda?”

The girl is just standing there looking at me with her arms outstretched. She is trying to hand me something, I realise. I hold out my hand and she gives me my Gameboy. Shit.

“You, uh...” her brow furrows, and she lifts her hand timidly to her mouth. “There isn’t a game in the slot...” Linda says confusedly.

I am about to feed her an excuse accompanied with one of my friendly grins when the truth suddenly dawns on her. “There’s...never been a game in it?”

It’s too late to dissuade her. She’s worked it out. “So all those times you were playing, you really...”

I just stare at her without expression for a few moments, then turn and walk out of the room.

-

There is a photo taped to the inside of my dresser. It’s worn and faded and I’m sure it will not be long before it falls apart entirely.

In the photo a small red-haired boy is being carried on a man’s shoulders. The ground around them is white with snow, and the edge of a metal swing set peeks out from a large mound of it behind them. They are both wearing thick winter clothes, and little can be seen of the man’s face hidden under a thick scarf and woollen hat.

I don’t know where the photo was taken, and because of the snow I will never be able to find out. I don’t remember anything about the man, my brother and only family, and because of his clothes I will never be able to find him.

I don’t even know who was holding the camera.

The photo is useless, but I keep it. It will always be close to me, even when all that is left are a few worn fragments. It is very important, for a reason that I will never admit to anybody. There is something in the photo that confuses me deeply and upsets me.

Both the boy and the man, gazing at the camera, are smiling.

They are happy.

--

AN: I have friends who proofread and edited the stories I gave them when I first started feeling more comfortable as a writer. I remember one of them, B-chan, asked me once if I ever felt weird writing sensual stuff. Right off the bat, I answered 'yes, I blush every time'. It's still true, even though the stuff in this chapter is much tamer than some of my other stories. :P

Now they're writers on this site, and we edit each others' work. It's really encouraging, I have to say. When they give me the green light I'm definitely advertising them in my fanfictions. :)