|How to Break a Hero
Author: CreativeChilde PM
Potter knelt before the Dark Lord, betrayed by his lover and now doomed to be broken by the man. Lucius watched on, not curious, but disgusted. When the light faded, what more could Lucius do than try to salvage what remained? and what that leads to. HPLMRated: Fiction M - English - Tragedy/Angst - Lucius M. & Harry P. - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,492 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 06-24-09 - Published: 05-30-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5100516
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: no I don't own Pottery things, but i recently found out that a friend of JK Rowling likes Lucius Malfoy. hee hee.
LOL READ NOTE AT BOTTOM BECAUSE YOU WON'T READ IT HERE YOU WANT TO READ THE CHAPTER! so here it is.
I seem to have forgotten something...Oh yes. Timeline. FYI for those who did not just read all the way through from the beginning (and even if you did i still want your love, er, reviews) Please know that Sixteen years passed between "Love" and "Anger" ... If you look back a chapter you'll see the new part at the top that says "sixteen years later" so... lol, time jump (sometimes i forget i'm not the only soul who reads these, and since I know what i'm doing...well you get my point. and I'll stop talking for now)
How to leave, break, anger, fix, and love a wild hero
I woke up early.
I woke up cold.
Jerking upright I looked around my dark room. It was before dawn, too early for Lucius to be awake and far too early for me to even think about getting up. Any remnants of sleep instantly dropped from my mind as I searched the room with my gaze. He was not curled in the window seat or at his desk, as he sometimes was when tormented by dreams, but his pajama bottoms were tossed over the back of his chair and the closet door was ajar.
I hurried from my bed and went out into the hall, looking quickly around for any glimpse of the light of a candle or a lumos or anything. "Lucius?" I called into our empty home but my voice was swallowed in the black silence of the Black home.
My hastened search revealed to me what I had dreaded since the moment I awoke alone in my bed. Lucius had left me.
Standing alone in the sitting room I clutched my hand to my chest. My breath nearly choked me as I stumbled in a circle, looking again around the room for any sign of him. Pushing through my panic I half-screamed, "Lucius where are you!"
He had abandoned me, again. The man I loved had left me behind!
I stumbled into an end table and jumped when something clattered to the ground.
Turning around I saw a paper weight of polished glass in the shape of an egg on the floor, a bit of paper beside it. I knelt instantly and scooped up the note, written in Lucius' neat scrawl and still damp.
Please forgive me for what I am doing. One day soon you will understand.
My hand trembled so badly that I lost my grip and the paper fell to the ground. I stared past it and at the floor, my vision blurring. He was the only thing I had ever needed in my life, more than food, more that water, more than air and now …he had vanished.
Without him I knew nothing.
Without him I was nothing.
Six Months Later
Mud squelched under his boots and between his fingers as Lucius stood on the front walk of Twelve Grimmauld Place. It was the middle of the day and the overcast with heavy rainclouds and made the land around him seem stuck in twilight. Mud and blood slicked his hands and arms and stained his clothes. His hair was unwashed and tangled and pulled away from his face with a viciously bright orange hair tie, darkened with mud from his fingertips when he had put it in his hair.
The only thing that had any distinguishing color was the dark blue blanket in his arms, wrapped protectively around a bundle but smeared with mud from his body. Lucius was staring up at the door to the house he had lived in exclusively for sixteen years with his young lover; his young paranoid lover.
Paranoid about loosing me again, Lucius remarked to himself quietly. But it was not his thoughts that kept him staring up and holding still, it was the open doorway.
He wasn't sure what that meant. He wasn't sure if it was safe or not, empty or not, warded or not. He wasn't about to step into anything that could harm him or what he had worked for six months to get. Six months of mud and blood and pain and storms that had let him achieve perfection.
Pulling out his wand, as crusted with mud as his boots, he weaved the strongest defensive spells he knew about himself until he shimmered under the net. Then, and only then, he slowly went up the walkway towards the door.
He touched the wards briefly and they buckled under the pressure. Lucius frowned in worry and continued inside, nudging the door with a dirty boot toe and then closing it with a heel. "Potter?" he called cautiously, his silver eyes darting about the darkened room.
"Potter?" he ventured a little louder, glancing up the darkness of the stairs. There was nothing inside.
Lucius scowled then shook his head and went up the stairs. It had been too long since he had taken a decent bath, and he aimed to reward himself for his hard work and diligence.
Lucius smiled as he brushed out his hair, the charm on the brush drying it as he did so and leaving it shimmering silver blond in the light of the candles. He wore muggle clothes, Potter's preference, and wore them well, if he admitted it to himself.
He smoothed the dark blue vest over his white button down shirt and thought about tucking the shirt into his black pants and decided that would look best before turning from the mirror and putting down the brush to do that.
Pleased with his appearance, he turned to the bed where the newly re-wrapped bundle, a forest green blanket this time, laid waiting for him. He scooped it up and exited the bedroom, bubbling with happiness. Half way down the stairs, he was heading to the kitchen to fix himself some food, he froze as the front door burst open. He twisted away from it as splinters whirled in all around him and protected his bundle with his body.
Lucius winced as bits of wood sprinkled his back and legs but kept silent. When the noise died down he turned with murder in his eyes, clutching the blanket, and facing the attackers.
His anger died instantly as he saw his haggard lover, Harry James Potter, standing in the remnants of the door and breathing heavily, his green eyes wide and his face too pale. He was thin and his clothes hung off his body in a disturbing way. Potter gaped up the stairs at him and there was a sudden clattering noise as he dropped his wand.
He fell to his knees, tears flooding down his face as he wept, "Lucius!" He reached out to Lucius, his fingers long and thin and bony. Entering the door behind him was Weasley, stern faced and wary, and Granger, cautious and worried. Both held out their wands, but Granger lowered hers when she saw Lucius.
"Where have you been?" she hissed at Lucius, her eyes flashing, "Do you see what you have done to him?"
Lucius blinked and looked at Potter again, "It was necessary."
"Necessary to leave Harry like that, without warning and without explanation?" Granger's voice only rose.
"I gave him both of those." His eyes flicked away from his weeping lover and to the bundle in his arms. His voice softened incredibly, "It was necessary for me to go for our happiness. You wouldn't understand, you have children and have not lost them."
He shook his head and finished descending the stairs. He knelt in front of Potter and touched his shoulder. "Potter…Potter look at me, I am here, I am back, but you must forgive me. You must forgive that I left you for a while."
"You didn't say anything!" Potter cried, lurching into Lucius' one-armed embrace. He tangled his fingers in Lucius' cleaned hair and sobbed loudly into his shoulder, "You didn't tell me that you were going!"
"Yes I did," Lucius murmured, "Remember the thunderstorm? Remember what I said?"
Potter indignantly grabbed Lucius by the arm and turned him, "Why are you out here in the rain? You're going to get sick Lucius!"
Lucius smiled and circled his arms around Potter's neck, pressing his forehead to Potter's and whispering, "I have found a way to give us both what we desire, Potter, to give us both what will make us happier than anything else we have, besides each other."
"What are you talking about?" Potter grumbled, annoyed at the water that soaked his hair and his clothes and was going to make him sick as well.
"I'll go fetch it and then everything will be right again, and we won't be empty anywhere. We will be complete. As soon as I go get it." Lucius kissed him on the lips, his mouth cold from standing so long in the rain.
"Fine, just come inside now." Potter had muttered into the kiss.
Lucius smoothed Potter's hair with one hand and kissed his forehead, just right of the scar. "I have found our happiness, Harry, look at his face,"
He shifted his arm and the blanket's folds parted enough. Wide eyed, almost in fear, and with trembling fingers, Potter pealed the blanket open. With a squeal he shot back out of Lucius' grasp and gasped, "How!? Where? Did you steal him?"
"Yes." Lucius murmured, stroking the cheek of the swaddled and milk white babe in his arms, "I stole him from the clutches of death. I re-birthed him into this world and let him breath again."
There was the crunch of wood underfoot as Granger and Weasley stepped forward. "What did you do?" her tone was of awe. Weasley glared from over her shoulder, silent and forbidding.
Lucius glared at them and stood quickly, "Leave."
"How did you get that baby, Malfoy?" Granger's voice was tinged with the begging of understanding.
"Hermione," Weasley's voice was dark and spoke of years of experience, "We should leave them." He put his hand on her arm and turned her away. "Now."
Lucius watched them as they left, Granger casting longing looks over her shoulder and Weasley a dark mass of an Auror. With them gone, Lucius turned to Potter, who was getting shakily to his feet.
"He's so still," Potter whispered, as if afraid any loud noise would break the child. His hand was hesitant when he reached out to touch the babe. "Is he alive?"
Lucius nodded and held the baby for Potter to see. "Ancient magic, blood magic, very dark magic let me bring him back to life as he had once been… nearly forty years ago…"
"Where did you get him?" Potter's green eyes glimmered, his shock diminishing as he too stroked the child's cheek.
Lucius leaned in close to Potter, needing the warmth of his lover more and more. So much had been taken and given up in the revival of the baby, he felt so hollow inside, "Narcissa's first child died shortly after he was born. There was no explanation for his death. After Draco's birth there was no need to think of him, we had an heir."
"Is he of Malfoy blood then?" Potter glanced up at him.
"Of course not. I used your blood and mine to revive him. He is our child, Potter," Lucius retorted.
"Research." Lucius replied.
A light glinted in Potter's eyes, "The books from the library."
Lucius nodded, "I compiled them with books in the Manor. Ancient pure-blood lines sometimes have one child who does not live and that is the only offspring. When that occurs, there must needs be a way to bring that child to life. The blood of the parents of the child is typically used, if available, and the child can be returned to the world of the living, through days of endless spell casting and ritual. But there are so many rituals that have no meaning, put in to hinder the process, to prevent it from being taken lightly in any case. Rituals that are put in place only to make sure that the desire is a group effort, not a singular decision."
Potter gripped his shoulder suddenly and hissed, "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you take me with you?" his anger diminished into petulant cries as he inched closer to Lucius, he too had suffered over the six months. "Why did you leave me behind again?"
Lucius kissed him gently, "It is blood magic that I did not want tainting your soul…and I did not want you to hate me for suggesting it and I wasn't sure it would work. I could not bear it if you were to be harmed or to die because of something I made you do."
"But you were willing to die yourself and leave me here alone?"
Lucius closed his eyes, "You know I would have returned to you as a ghost. I could never truly leave you in life or in death."
"I hurt so much while you were gone…" Potter whispered. "I hurt and hurt…"
"I will never leave you again." Lucius murmured against his cheek, "I have no more need to ever leave you. With you and the babe I have all I ever will want again. I promise you, Potter. I promise you with everything I am, I will never leave you again."
Potter let out a strangled cry and clung to Lucius, digging his fingers into the man's shoulders as he wept. Lucius held him and held the baby and smiled through his trickling tears, but for the broken door, all was right with the world again.
Potter lay on his side, watching the baby sleeping between them with the eyes of a child himself, adoring and loving and wholly taken. Lucius smiled and lay on his side, forming the other side of the baby's shelter. He watched Potter watching the baby and smiled some more.
"He's so beautiful and quiet…" he trailed thin fingers along the baby's stomach and limbs. He stared unblinking, as if unwilling to miss any detail of the two month old's squirming and blue-green blinking eyes. "He's so perfect…"
Lucius trailed his fingertips across the sheen of baby blonde hair and nodded, unable to find any words to express his utter joy.
Potter leaned down and kissed the baby's cheek and smiled at him, laughing softly as the baby's eyes focused on him and he grinned happily. Looking up at Lucius suddenly he said, "Lucius, what was his name?"
Lucius blinked. "His name?"
"Yes, when he was first born."
"Gideon Abraxas." Lucius replied.
Potter made a face. "That is much to terrible a name for our child. I much rather prefer Andrew."
"And what for a middle name?" Lucius smiled indulgently.
"Well I chose the first name, why don't you pick the middle one?"
Lucius thought for a moment and then asked, "In that case, how does Andrew William sound?"
"Perfect," Potter whispered, "Little Andrew William…"
Lucius chuckled and reached across the space and Andrew to cup Potter's face in his hand, "I am so happy…"
Potter placed his hand over Lucius' and pulled it over to his mouth, kissing his palm and wrist softly. He lowered his eyes and murmured, "I love you Lucius…"
Lucius leaned over and kissed Potter's cheek and then his mouth and replied, in perfect bliss that rung in his voice like the tolling of a church bell on a wedding, "I love you too…Harry."
If you count 'em Lucius only says Harry three times in this one here. that's like woah for me because i really like having them say each others names. its fun, "harry" "Lucius!" "Harry!" "Lucius!" lol xD
and the reason the end has a question mark is incase i ever feel like writing a little epilogue or some shiz like that i'll just slap it on there but chances are i'm not going to so i'm going to put the end there. (and like twenty years from now you'll get an email that says it updated and you'll be all wtf? it updated? but i thought she died!!! and in the top of the chapter it'll say "lol you thought i died, didn't you??? xD lame!" and you'll be how did she KNOW?)
(....that was strange)
Anyway. i hope you're happy. and for Scifinerd92, i especially hope your happy, there was no mpreg. just a horrible spell that ruined Lucius' soul and mind forever but we won't go into that here...(unless you want another chapter of what happened because i kinda already thought of all that and it's horrible and i don't like it but it makes me giggle too.... am i a bad person? thats probably why you thought i would die in twenty years.)
and that's the end of my rambling. Seriously review, because otherwise i may begin to question why i am writing this stuff in the first place and stop. and then you would be the cause of the death of my Desert Fortress readers who need their Link fix from me. what can i say, i am a drug dealer, and my drug is fanfiction. ...to bad i am addicted as well... (this is the real end of my ramblings! Loves for all! especially: Blood Lust 777, Wasabi Sauce, Scifinerd92 [wtf you get two mentions?], darklady5289, darkpyroangel06 [wtf, i know who you are and i'm so surprised that this came out of my head just after i called you. i told you i would update this week], sjrodgers108, itachisgurl93, Wynja [what does your name mean? is it... white ninja? that's so cool], jimmy-barns-13, and Chibi Makoto)
I'm in a very strange mood. anyway. REVIEW!! I LOVE YOU!