#106 – Ponder

Capell/Aya, Leonid/Saranda, others

Capell had always wondered about the relationship between Saranda and Leonid since he had first met them together sitting upon the chain when they were to fight Dmitri and Leonid at the top of Vesplume Castle then later when they had fought Saranda and finished her off. She had told them that she only did everything for Leonid.

Aya had mentioned, later, that she had felt a kindred spirit in Saranda despite the fact that Saranda was the cause of Emir Sharukh’s, Aya’s Father, death. Capell, while he had not seen eye to eye with the man, had been grateful that he had stepped in front of spell that would have killed Aya.

Capell did not want to think about what would have happened if the Emir had not saved Aya. He was already grieving for a good friend, her brother and a town, losing Aya would have just pushed him right over the edge to the point of no return. Aya was the reason why he ‘joined’ the Liberation Force and later took up the sword as Sigmund…his father.

Returning to his original thought, Capell wondered once more just, what the relationship between Leonid and Saranda was. Leonid had not seem to shown any emotion toward Saranda’s death. However, he was in Castle Casandra at the time she had died and they were running from the collapsing Castle Valette but would he not have been grieving?

On the other hand, maybe he had not known that she had died or maybe it just fuelled on his desire to become a god. Did a God have the ability to bring someone back to life? He did not know; he had turned down the choice when Veros offered it to him.

Capell frowned as he thought about Veros. He was the reason why many things had happened. It had been his plan to enchain the moon because he wanted to create a new world and in the process, he used Leonid who had been empowered with his own Lunaglyph and Sigmund’s Aristo power and Lunaglyph when he had given it up.

Veros had sent down the Luna Rain that caused many people with Lunaglyph to go in two directions, die to their powers being weak, or turn into a monster call Vermiform whose only desire was to wipe out everyone who was weaker to them. Their friend, Edward, had been one of those people who ended up succumbing to the curse but they had been persistent in curing him that they fought and saved him.

Saranda obviously knew of the plan as Held, another Order Knight, had tried to warn them that Veros was the one supplying Leonid the power. Capell wondered if she willingly went along with the plan or if it was out of her love for a man who, slowly, been converted since a young age to believe that he had been the chosen one.

Maybe Veros had not allowed Leonid to know of Saranda’s death fearing that it would turn Leonid away if Leonid had been truly in love with her. Love was a very powerful emotion.

On the other hand, maybe the relationship was one sided, Saranda falling for a man who did not know of her feelings or used them for his own agenda. That could be the reason but Capell doubted it. Why would Leonid use someone feelings to get what he wanted? He already had many people on his side as well as Veros, a god, so nothing would have stood in his way.

It did not seem to matter that they cut all the chains, the only chains they needed to cut was the Onyx chain yet he allowed Saranda to join him and he seemed to care for her. He let her rest her head on his shoulder on Vesplume Tower, waiting for them and he allowed Saranda to give everyone else power to help them defend the chain.

Maybe they were together but Leonid did not want anyone to know because he thought it would distract him from his goal or maybe he did not want anyone to think he was weak because he was with someone.

How could it make anyone weak to see them being in love with someone? Capell had always thought that emotions made a person stronger; it gave them a reason for fighting. He had not even realised that he had a reason to start fighting when he met Aya. She was the one who pushed everything she believed into him and she had been right the whole time, he had the ability to cut the chains.

Capell sighed as he remembered all the times she had been in danger. When she came to rescues him, the order soldiers had thrown her against the wall and he took up a sword for the first time. Then she had collapsed during their escape in Graad Woods and he carried her until they were cornered and he punched a soldier as he stepped forward to kill Aya on Vembert’s orders.

Sigmund had saved them and they headed to a safe place to rest for the night. Aya and Capell had gotten into an argument that resulted in Aya fainting from the pain and Capell had learned that she was suffering from a wound, which they called a Lunaglyph Curse. It killed a person from the inside out.

They were going to leave her behind as they had to destroy the Azure Chain but Capell had not accepted that, they could not leave her to die. Sigmund saw his determination and offered a solution to Aya’s health problems. Capell took it and began his journey with the Liberation.

Then there was that moment Saranda tried to kill her. Capell broke his thoughts off there. He could not keep thinking of that moment. He could not keep thinking of what if. Aya was alive, her father saved her, and that was all it mattered.

The again…there was Sigmund. Even now, four years later, Capell still had a hard time accepting that Sigmund was his father but he couldn’t help but wish that Sigmund had said something earlier…maybe he thought he would have the time but Leonid trying to kill Capell had thrown that out of the window. Clenching a fist, Capell tried to deal with his grief and anger.

For a short time, he had his father back and did not know it. Capell had always wondered what his biological parents were like and he had all these questions he wanted to ask them but the chance was gone, both of them were dead. His mother died out of grief over losing her son and his father died protecting him.

He just wished that Sigmund had given them a chance to have a father/son bond or had given him a hint or that Leonid had just left after Sigmund had defeated him rather than taking Sigmund with him and finishing him off.

“You are thinking again,” a sleepy voice broke through his thoughts. Capell blinked to see that he was lying on his bed, in his bedroom, with his wife curled up next to him. Turning his head, he looked down to meet sleepy green eyes as her head rested on his chest.

“Sorry,” he leaned down and kissed her forehead head, his hand caressing the dark brown hair.

“And Edward is right, you do apologise a lot,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and turning her head back to its normal position. Capell chuckled at the memory of when his, now, best friend had told him that.

“How did you know I was thinking?” he asked, running his hand through her long locks, she had let it grow out that it now reached mid-waist.

“Your breathing changes whenever you are thinking sad thoughts,” she told him, her eyes still closed, “Were you thinking of Faina again?” Capell sighed, he knew that his wife had always been jealous of Faina, thinking that Faina had once held Capell’s heart but he was unsure how to tell his wife that she was the only one who had held his heart…ever since she had saved him from jail, mistaking him for her leader.

“And Sigmund, Leonid and Saranda,” Capell added in. Capell could tell that Aya was now awake from the way she stiffened before she shifted so she was leaning on her arm, looking down at him.

“Why the last two?” she breathed out, confused. Leonid had been the reason why his father had died before they could form a father/son relationship…providing Sigmund did actually let his son know and Saranda had been the person who had killed her father.

“I was wondering what kind of relationship they had,” Capell explained, looking at the ceiling once more. “Saranda had said that everything she did, it was for Leonid, yet when we met Leonid; he wasn’t grieving for Saranda. He never said a thing so it made me wonder…did he know that she was dead or did he not care or did it just push him forward to complete his goal.”

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot,” Aya said. Capell sighed, shrugging.

“I think it was mostly inspired of when Saranda could have killed you if your father hadn’t stepped in to save you,” Capell told her. Aya’s eyes dropped down to his chest at the memory. Capell reached out and tilted her face up so their eyes could meet once more. “Even though I didn’t like your father due to what happened to Sapran, I am forever in his debt for saving you. If he hadn’t…” Capell shook his head. “Let’s just say I probably wouldn’t be the person I am today.”

“You hated people with Lunaglyphs,” Aya whispered, looking away. Capell’s hand tightened into a fist as he remembered that time. He had hated them, loathed them that he had actually said that everyone with Lunaglyphs should be wiped out.

No matter what he could say or do, he could never take those words back; no matter how much he wished he could. Seeing Faina and Leif die due to the Vermiforms, being unable to save them had awoken something deep inside of him.

“I know,” he whispered, his tone apologetic. “I was angry and grieving. It just seemed like all everyone cared were the Aristos and Meages. No one tried to protect the unblessed and they were the ones who suffered in the end. Even the people turned against me when they found out that I wasn’t Sigmund and an unblessed.”

“I didn’t!” Aya turned her head up to face him once more. “I didn’t care that you were an unblessed and I tried to help you but you kept shutting me out! It felt like you blamed me for Faina’s death. You didn’t hate Leonid as much as you did with people with Lunaglyphs and he was helping Veros to create everything.”

“I know,” Capell whispered. “Trust me; I had a lot of time to think about my actions while I was on the moon.” Aya looked at him. Not once had he ever mentioned his time on the moon since he came back, he had refused to burden anyone else because it had been his choice to stay behind on the moon.

Capell reached up and stroked Aya’s cheek. “You were the only person I really trusted. I never hated you,” Aya gasped as her green eyes widened. “I wanted to tell you how I really felt…it felt like you would have understood what I was feeling and that you would have helped me out…but I was scared, especially when Saranda almost…” he trailed off, “It was then I decided to keep you out, I was trying to protect you.” Aya sighed sadly.

“Oh…Capell,” she breathed. “I told you that it wasn’t healthy to keep all your feelings in,” she reminded and Capell rolled his eyes in amusement.

“And I told you the same only for you to say that you didn’t have to tell me anything,” he teased only to blanch when she glared at him for trying to lighten the moment.

“I’m a big girl Capell, I don’t need you protecting me from what you’re thinking,” she hesitated for a moment, “And you’re right, I would have understood.” Capell looked at her but she looked away. “Hearing that Sigmund used to be an Aristo and gave up his lunaglyph because he lost you and your mother made me wonder if my parents would have done that for me if I had been an unblessed. Those people of Sapran…” she trailed off, trying to get her feelings under control, “they were blessed. They had each other to turn to and knew they would stick together. The ones with the Lunaglyphs had to worry if they would somehow lose their lunaglyphs, they would be turned out by the others and left to fend for themselves.”

“Aya…” Capell started.

“Faina was the lucky one. Even though she did not have her parents, she had a big family that loved her and who supported her in every choice she made. She was loved by everybody,” Aya finished off in a whisper.

“Aya,” Capell’s tone was harsher than he wanted it to be. Startled, Aya looked at him and he reached up, kissing her. “You are loved by everyone else as well. You were the one who changed Sapran and made the world accept unblessed. Faina may have had the love of a village but you have the love of the world – there is a difference. Faina’s death only set the changes in motion – you were the ones who took it to a whole new level,” Capell explained as he pulled away from his wife, trying to convey the truth in his eyes.

Aya knew that she was being irrational. The last time she had been irrational, Capell had slapped her across the cheek to bring her back to reality before informing her that she wasn’t acting like the Aya he loved but she couldn’t help it, she was jealous of a dead girl who seemed to have a part of Capell’s heart.

Even though he never came out and said it, it was obvious that he had an attraction to the petite girl and she just wondered how far their attraction had gone. When she had come upon them in Kolton, it was clear that Faina had said something to make him perk up and her overcome with jealously.

When Aya had dragged Capell away from Faina, saying that she needed to borrow him, Faina had been unhappy with the situation but allowed it, but who to say that they did not meet up later?

“Aya?” asked Capell, curious to where his wife had gone in her thoughts. Aya lifted her green eyes to meet his and he felt his breath caught, hoping that she was not going to ask what he thought she was.

“You cared about Faina, didn’t you?” she whispered, looking away. Capell closed his eyes in defeat. He had to answer her, Aya could be stubborn when she wanted to and not answering her would just fuel her on even more.

“She was a good friend,” Capell muttered. Aya looked at him once more, sceptical clear in her eyes.

“A friend?” she muttered, “Like how?” Capell looked at her, confused. “Like you and Edward, you and Eugene or like you and me.” Capell gulped.

“Aya…” he started, unwilling to say anything but knew he took the wrong tack as her green eyes shuttered, turning dark, emotionless, and mentally cursed to himself, “Aya…”

“I guess I can’t really say anything. We weren’t together at the time,” she looked at her fingers…more specifically, her ring finger of her left hand where the engagement and wedding ring sat and Capell would be damned if he let his wife doubt their marriage and his love for her. “She was pretty.” Capell grabbed his wife by her chin and turned her face to his so their eyes could meet.

“I did not get together with you and marry you just because you were there, Aya,” he told her. “Yes, I was attracted to Faina but we did not do anything. I slept with you that night in the Marshlands because I wanted to, because I wanted to be with you and I asked you to marry me because I love you. I’m with you because I love you, not because you are second best or because Faina is dead.” Aya just stared at him, tears shining in her eyes. “I love you and only you Aya. Faina is dead and it was only physical attraction between us – that is all. We barely knew each other. The real reason why I was upset about not saving Faina was I had promised her that I would be there to save her whenever she was in danger and I failed that promise. That is the reason why I never made a promise to you that I would come back with you all after smashing the last chain. However, it is the reason why I made the promise I would find a way to come back to you and I kept it. I kept the promise, Aya. I came back to you.”

“I love you too,” Aya whispered, her heart hurting and melting over his confession. Her husband rarely talked about his emotions, preferring to keep them in. To hear all that filled and broke her heart all at the same time. “We’re more like Saranda and Leonid than we thought, aren’t we?” Aya asked. Capell look turned curious. “Leonid wanted to change the world so he enchained the moon to do so. You wanted to change the world and you killed a god in the process. Saranda followed Leonid because she trusted and loved him. I followed you because I trusted you to make the right choice when the time came…even if I didn’t understand it at the time.”

Capell smiled at her logic.

“You just compared us to killers, I hope you realise that,” Capell teased. Aya slapped him on the shoulder, playfully, but Capell nodded, his mood turning serious. “We just saw the world in a different way and tried to make it better so it was suitable for everyone.”

“They are watching over us, aren’t they?” Aya asked, “Sigmund, Faina, Leif, and the villagers from Sapran. They are watching over us, aren’t they?” Capell nodded.

“I hope so and I hope they are proud of what we are doing. We carried out Sigmund’s wish to protect the world and smash all the chains and we changed the world for the unblessed. No one has to worry about Lunaglyphs anymore so everyone is the same – there is no power rise,” Capell told her. Aya smiled at the thought before she rested her head on his chest.

“Do you think they are together?” Aya asked, tracing shapes on his chest. Capell sighed, instantly knowing whom she was talking.

“I hope so. Leonid needs love in his life and I think Saranda is the right person to show him,” he kissed Aya’s forehead. “Go to sleep. I have a feeling Edward would tease us if we should up at his party looking tired.” Aya grinned, pressing a kiss to his chest before closing her eyes.

Capell waited until her breathing deepened to indicate that she had fallen into a deep slumber once more and his eyes shifted back to toward the ceiling, thinking over everyone once more before his thoughts rested on his wife and his feelings.

Maybe one day, he will have worked up the courage to tell her that she had always held his heart since she rescued him. He just hoped that if Leonid and Saranda were to have another chance together, they would take it because love is not something anyone should waste.

The End

Inspired by me wondering just what Leonid and Saranda’s relationship was like. The book said that Saranda was ‘Leonid’s most loyal and adoring servant’. It seemed like it was one sided as we only saw Saranda’s emotions toward Leonid, nothing about Leonid but even so…wouldn’t Leonid have shown some emotion over the loss of his most loyal servant?

Everyone else was only joined the Order for their own needs – Held, because he wanted to become a god and to surpass Savio.

Iskan du Bal joined the order because Leonid took over Casandra after Volsung/Sigmund abandoned it and had blamed Capell for Casandra’s loss of a great leader.

Capell and Aya being married was just a bonus for me to write *Grins* and I was nice to Faina…sorta *Sticks tongue out*. I just wanted to write a little insecure side of Aya because you saw it when Capell was grieving over Faina and you could see that she was wondering just what was going on with the two of them.

If any of you have any theories or ideas, you are welcome to share them with me! (Meaning, I want to know what you think of that relationship).

(I do not know if anyone had noticed this but Aya/Capell/Faina triangle reminded me of Aerith/Cloud/Tifa (Final Fantasy VII) triangle. Cloud promises to protect Aerith, Capell promises to protect Faina. Both of them fail at this so it pushes them onward to bring down the dangers that had caused them to die and both of them to keep their promises they had made to Aya/Tifa – Capell to find a way to come back to Aya and Cloud to be Tifa’s hero.

Note – I like Cloud/Tifa so that = Capell/Aya). This is just my little titbit that came to me while writing this part.