Author's Note: This is a oneshot told in Syaoran's point of view, a tad inspired by the poem in the movie "The Ten Things I Hate About You".
DISCLAIMER: I don't own CLAMP, Card Captor Sakura, or any of its characters
The Ten Things I Hate About Sakura
a fanfic by Ekai Ungson
I hate it when you smile at me
because my knees go weak
I hate the way you turn around, hair flying everywhere
when you do that, I can't speak
I hate the way your eyes are green
they make me want to drown (in them)
I hate the way you say my name
it makes me break down
I hate the way you always smile
whenever I insult you
I hate the way you stutter in Math
it makes me want to save you
I hate the way you're always nice
because you make me feel so mean
I hate the way you make me feel useless
because of your independent streak
And the last things I hate about you
is why I hate you most of all
I hate the way I always catch you
whenever you call, whenever you fall
But most of all I hate the way
I don't hate you-----
Not even a little, not even a pinch
Not any at all....
It'd all be okay if I didn't do it.
No, seriously. If I didn't jump --yes, jump-- at the chance to go to Japan then I wouldn't have met you, wouldn't have rivalled you, wouldn't have befriended you and... I... okay, I refuse to gfo any further.
And now, here I am, keenly aware of every breath you take and every move you make. Wondering.
Wondering how I got myself into this mess, and how I'll get myself out of it.
Wondering why I look at you like this. (Yes-- I'm AWARE I'm staring at you.)
Wondering why-- Kami-sama, WHY!?-- you don't notice me when I'm looking at you like this.
Wondering why in the world you were born ridiculously beautiful...
IIE. I'll stop now.
Your pencil drops, and you begin to move. Just a few seconds, in reality. To me, takes forever. I have to analyze and re-analyze your every gesture.
Auburn hair flies as you turn. Eyes widen slightly in surprise.
You're killing me here, Kinomoto.
The (accursed) pencil rolls over to my side of the floor. I pick it up and hand it over.
And you-- you just had to turn to me with those big green eyes of yours and smile,didn't you?
"H-hai.." I stutter. I stand corrected. No, a mere smile from you will NOT send me into severe palpitations. But your saying my name will. Believe me I know. I'm experiencing it right now.
You turn back and the heat on my neck stops. Safe once more.
See my problem? You don't? Okay. Let me explain this to you, Miss Kinomoto Sakura.
First off I can't STAND being around you. I really can't--- not without suffering either a heart attack or a blushing disorder. The "glare" treatment doesn't work on you anymore, not after I told you that you could call me by my first name (which is another matter... LATER). I look at you with the remotest hint of a death glare and you're on me with a "dou shita no?" certified to make Antarctica nad my heart melt. Thus, the severe palpitations. You're fatal to my personal health, Kinomoto Sakura.
And when you say my name, yes, just my name-- I go overdrive. Don't ask. My name is sort of a passport to me. Anyone who uses it is severely close to me by blood or by contact. And you're the only girl outside of the clan I've let it be used. The point? Oh, nothing. Just that Meilin has reporteed this to my mother and sisters and now they think that I let you call me by my first name is that because I want you to be a MEMBER of the family. Man... this humiliation...
And then there's this really simple matter of you being the Card Mistress. Hierarchy dictates that I'm two rungs lower than you. And do I hate you for this? No. And that's bad, considering I'm the next in line for Li Clan Master. I SHOULD hate you. But I don't. My sisters think this is highly amusing, me being put in my place after acting so high-and-mighty.
And if that's not yet enough to convince you that you're no good for me, then...
I can't bring myself to say I like you. There, was that what you were waiting for? I can't. I really can't, and maybe it has nothing to do about you being no good for me but it's still pretty much a bad thing. Because...
Yes, I happen to know you like Tsukishiro. A lot. And even when he rejected you, I know you still like him. That's love. You keep going even though you get nothing in return. Believe me, I know. I'm doing it, too, pretty much.
That's my problem. I can't let you know that I love you, even though my heart is screaming for release. I can't stand to see you pained, Sakura. I just can't.
So I'll stay here, content with the thought of you close.
And maybe going to Japan isn't such a bad thing.
"Syaoran-kun? Are you in there? The bell just rang. It's time to go home."
I look up in surprise. "Oh... yeah."