Commander Shepard is Still Alive

AKA The Ballad of Casey Hudson

AKA The Geth is a Lie

This is a song parody, set to the song 'Still Alive' by Jonathon Coulton – the song that plays at the end of the magnificence that is "Portal".

If you don't know the song you can youtube it easily, and you should go play the game.

These alternate lyrics are about the brilliant marketing campaign involving the 'Commander Shepard is dead' controversy that myself and some of the nerdier Mass Effect fans have been so worried about for so long.

Now that we know Shepard is still alive after all, I wanted to express my feelings.

Watching Casey Hudson - the smug, emotionless visionary and Bioware supremo- in all those interviews I got to wondering how he feels about it all. I keep imagining him counting piles of gold and laughing.

(Let me just point out that these lyrics are just a little joke and that Casey Hudson is brilliant and marvelous. Really. I love his games and he's probably a lovely person. But… you know… smug. Just imagine him singing this.)

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here: 'Huge success'
It's hard to overstate my self-satisfaction
Bioware Studios
We mess with your heads because we can
For a laugh I told you all-
Commander Shepard was dead

But there's no sense crying over every cheap trick
Cause you'll keep on buying though we're taking the Mick
Elevators get done
And we'll add some neat guns
Tell the people he is still alive

You're not even angry
You're feeling so relieved right now
All because we told you that we killed him
His armor in pieces
We put every piece onto a geth
As the speculation grew-

I was so happy for me!

Now these ads and rumours make a beautiful lie
Get a sense of humour
We're just wasting your time
You kept listening to me
And you waited for E3
Just to hear that he is still alive

Go ahead and leave us
I think you prefer great plot in games
Maybe you'll find someone else to write them
Maybe Bethesda
That was a joke
Ha ha, fat chance
Anyway, this cash is great
It's so delicious and green

Look at me still talking
When there's marketing to do
When I read your posts it makes me GLaD I'm not you
I've got interviews to run
There are trailers to be done
To confirm that he is still alive

Believe me he is still alive
I'm making money and he's still alive
You feel fantastic and he's still alive
We were lying- he was still alive
And when you're dead he will be still alive
Still alive

Still alive