May 1998

Nicole Scott and Antonio Cortez are working at the FBI office in Phoenix. They have been dating for a year.

Antonio knows that she had a hard life as a child and teenager but he never pushed her to tell him anything. He knows that her mother killed her father with a hammer and that she lived with a foster family and her foster sister Kelly. But he knows that there are still a lot of things she has never told him and things she might never tell him either.

They had had a case that day with a girl living in a foster family and was abused. He could see that the case was haunting her and was hurting her too. They were cuddeling on the couch. “Nicki! Are you alright?” “Yeah I am alright.” “OK.” She sat up a little. “So you are not going to ask further questions?” “I told you once that I am not going to ask questions. I know well enough that not to push you. You will talk to me when you are ready.” “Antonio there are a lot of things from my past I have not told you and I do not know if I will ever be able to tell you but I promise you that I will tell you what I can when I am ready.” “Honey I love you. Take your time.” She snuggled back into him and he stroked her back to calm her down.

After a moment of silence she suddenly started to talk. “When I was 13 my mother was released on probation. I went back to my mother. I thought it might be a second chance for us. I would have the oppurtunity to get to know my mother. But she blew it. She started using drugs and she went back to jail. I returned to my foster family. I was thrown back into the system after a few months. But that way I was able to protect my little sister again.”

He can see the struggle anf the pain in her eyes. He thought of the pain and hurt she must have gone through during that time. He promised himself that he would make sure that something like that would never happen to her again and the would never have to go though so much hurt and pain again. It broke his heart to see her like that. She had tears in her eyes and a few had already trailed down her check. “Nicki it is alright.” He tried to soothe her.

“There is more Antonio. I have scars on my back that will not go away and from the Medical side there is nothing you can do about that. They are from my foster father´s belt.” “Honey I am so sorry.” “But it helped to talk about it Antonio.” “That is good. But if you want to talk so more some time I will always be here.” “Thank you Antonio.”