Title: Appearances

Date: 9/20/09

Word Count: 429

Genre(s): Drama, romance, slight angst

Characters: San, Ashitaka

Summary: Thoughts about herself and Ashitaka plague San, and she doesn't like it.

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Sometimes San forgets how to breath when she's around Ashitaka because she's thinking about so many other things that she forgets that simple, most important, action. Although she'd like to focus on how his shaggy hair floats with the wind or how his stormy-gray eyes glimmer in the sun, her thoughts take another turn as she thinks of her own appearance.

Leaves in her hair that's more course then her brother's fur, dirt and scratches all over her body from running in the forest, and drastic red tattoos that cover her face that will never come off.

She then begins to think about women she sometimes glimpses on the road or from Irontown, how their hair is long and silky, how their faces are painted and polished, and how their hands and skin aren't ruff, scared or tan like hers. And then they have those ridiculously restricting clothing. Although San doesn't like it, she has to admit the patterns are pretty and colorful compared to her own dark blue dress that's so raggedy it might rip in half any day now if it gets snagged on something.

And she knows, from seeing men constantly in her forest trying to destroy it, that Ashitaka is special in more ways then one. Not only is his heart kind and his voice warm, his face is no-doubt one of the more refined she's seen. She knows she isn't the only one enamored with him.

She looks down at herself, and then over to him, and feels this weight on her chest that makes breathing hard again. She doesn't like how she feels she's not good enough when she's one of the precious Guardians of the forest, practically a God like her Mother of late and Brothers.

How is it that this one, mere young human makes her feel so insecure about herself?

It's so unnerving that she tries to be even more grungy, even more feral before he comes to see her. Yet as she hears his voice call out, she clenches her hands and thinks how it's a mistake and quickly wips the mud from her face or tries to pat down her fuzzy hair.

Yet when he sees her pop out from the forest to meet him and smiles, he doesn't even seem to realize any of her imperfections and how the two of them look so odd together. Ashitaka brings his arms around San so that she's so tight against his chest his heartbeat echoes in her ears.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers as San gasps in his scent.