Disclaimer: I do not own Brokeback Mountain and make to monetary benefits to writing this. It's just for fun and inspiration.

Junior: Time in a Bottle

There’s so many thing I’ve always wanted to tell my daddy. Little things, like I don’t really like strawberry ice cream as much as he thinks, or I prefer unflavoured Chap Stick. Then there’s big things. Like, Monroe used to hit Jenny and me, I’m getting married, or I know he is with a man. I want to tell him that momma told me when I turned eighteen. I asked why they divorced, and she said, “Because he is with a man.” It didn’t take to long to figure out, his friend who came up that once? Jack? The way he said he forgot something in the house after he saw him. He looked so miserable for the rest of the day. Wandering around, not really there. But I let it slide as something unimportant, but it was. Cassie asked me about my dad. I tried to tell her he wouldn’t marry her, I tried, but she wouldn’t listen.

My poor daddy, he didn’t want nobody, but that man. Just wanted to be left alone. I came to visit after Jenny called, telling me Jack was dead. I grabbed the key from under the steps and brought his laundry inside, set it on his chair. He was drunk and asleep on his bed. I saw a box on his kitchen counter and opened it gently, there were postcards in his hand-writing. I wasn’t surprised, but everything else... pictures and little mementoes. Stuff that probably held significance to daddy or Jack. And...

My heart nearly broke at the letters. It seemed there were hundreds of them, I picked up the one closest to the top, it was moist and slightly crinkled at the edge.

Ennis,

I’m in Colorado, halfway there, bud. I can’t wait to see you, but I’ll be damned if I ain’t beat tired. I’m sorry I left late. I had to stop in at Bobby’s game. Don’t know if he saw me, but I sure was proud when he smacked that ball out of the park. I love him to pieces. So proud of him and how he’s treating his momma, I still can’t believe he puts up with his grandad though. Well, I best get on the road.

They went on and on, it was the story of his life, without my daddy, written down on paper. Pictures of him and his son. At the park, a fair, the beach, on an enormous tractor. Just the little things that neither of them could share together, he wrote them all down. I lifted another one, nearer to the bottom.

We need to talk sometime bud. I saw Randall today. He said he was sick of being second best... I guess I’ll have to leave him. I mean, no one can be ever good as you. I been meaning to tell you, bud. Only wish you’d want to hear it in person. I love you so much. I’ve known since Brokeback that I love you. I still want that sweet life, if you ever want to take me up on that, ever, I’m always ready. You’re first, cowboy. Always.

I settled that one back near the bottom of the huge stack. I smiled, the one time I had met him, he seemed like a talker, guess this was proof. I walked over to my daddy’s bed, picked up the whiskey bottle out of his hands and put the lid on, setting it on the counter. I walked back over to him, pulled the blanket over him and pushed his arms onto the bed. I sat down and kissed his forehead, feeling the wet pillow beneath his head as I smoothed out his hair. I stood, leaving a note on top of the box.

Daddy, Call me sometime. I worry about you. I was thinking you could come to the house and meet Kurt and his folks. I love you very much. Junior.

I left reluctantly. He may or may not call me, but I’d be back. I still had to tell him that Kurt was going to marry me. I spared one last glance at my poor daddy, wishing I could help. But there’s not much I can do.