i forgot to this in the other chapters I own nothing and Joss is boss (like it really needs saying*rolls eyes*)

So sorry for delay please forgive me and thanks so much for review i will update sooner and i still have no idea how long this is going to be since it was only supposed to be one shot

P.S ever thing writhing like this is a memory

Ch 3

Jayne was shocked out of his thoughts by Mal‘s voice on the P.A system

“Jayne , What in the gorram hell is taking you so long in delivering River to the common room ” Mal had been waiting on Jayne and River since the Doc had woken from his alcohol induced slumber.

Jayne quickly made his way to the com to answerer

“Sorry got distracted” Jayne said still a little distracted by River

“Well get undistracted and bring her here, the doc won’t say anything unless she is here” Mal said nothing more as he hanged-up.

Jayne looked at the sleeping figure, and tried to think up away to get her to the dinning area without him doing something stupid.

“Mite as well just do it fast without thinking, just like pulling a bullet” Jayne mumbled to himself as he made his way towards her.

Jayne picket up River bride style without waking her up. She even snuggled closer to him, in a fashion that made him painfully aware of her, he was surprised on how light she was, so he tried to focus on that and not on how her already short skirt had risen up, or on how she smelled like apples and strawberries.

The walk from the cargo bay to the dinning area had never seem so long to Jayne, once he go there he was greeted with the strangest sight he had ever witness it even made him forget he was still carrying a sexyfied River Tam.

Simon shirtless and wearing bunny ears sitting with and angry Captain on the table, he had to stop an blink acouple times to make sure his eyes weren’t fooling him.

“Ahh. Were y‘all want Crazy ” Jayne asked

“Lay her on the sofa, and you and Kaylee store away our new cargo” Mal said without taking his eyes off Simon

“You mean the cashy money right ” Jayne said trying to keep his eyes on Mal an not on River. He wanted to protests because he wanted to see the stuck up doc being grilled and he was a tab curious as to what the Doc and the co-pilot were up to, but the look on Mal’s face discouraged him.

He and Kaylee found empty storage crates and started to put the money in there either had ever seen so much money in there life

“How much money do you think it is, imagine how many strawberries we could buy” said an over exited Kayleey as she put wads of money way

“Guess we was wrong about the doc being useless” Jayne answered

He could not get River out of his head as he and Kaylee put handfuls of money into empty storage containers.

Simon had made it to the chair on the dinning table with the help of Mal but he could barely hold himself up because of his sore ribs, He refused to say more because of his promise to River and because he could hardly remember himself. He was shocked out of his thoughts by Mal’s harsh tone

“OK. Your sister is right there know tell me what you did ”

Simon tried remembering how he came to look and feel like a boxing chap who had just gone ten rounds, he closed his eyes trying to remember but, the whole night was blurry and it was coming to him in bits and pieces.

“You’re turn brother ” River said slurring her words

“What do you mean River” Simon said having trouble focusing on her

River smiled sweetly and pointed at something behind Simon,

“ The man over there is wearing purple” She said

The man in question was at lest 6’7 and had more muscles then Jayne, he was bald and he was covered in tattoos. He was wearing a leather vest that could be purple as River said but to Simon it looked more of blue then purple.

“River, he is not wearing purple ” he slurred to his sister

“"He is, too!"

"He is not!"

"He is too!"

"He is not!"

"Maybe the lighting is messing with your eyes ge-ge!" River said to her brother

"And maybe you can not hold your alcohol and it has impaired your ability to tell color Mei-mei!" Simon replied

" There is not need for you to yell, and just because am winning dose not make it alright for you the to yell !" River said angrily

" Wow River you are an angry drunk but, there is a simple way to solve this dilemma we cam just ask him" Simon said getting on his less then steady feet . He made his way towards the bar and taped the man in question on the shoulder.

“Excuse me ” Simon said slurring his words

The whole bar grew quite as they were all paying attention to the ,obviously core man, that had dared disturbed Jack Stravis, a well known mercenary. Simon was completely unaware of the attention so he continued when he was sure the man was listening to him

“But is the vest you are wearing purple it is rather a feminized but …” before he could finish asking the man growled out

“What you say boy”

“Well you are not deaf so I presume you are rather slow, is- the- vest- you-are-wearing” Simon said in an exaggerated slow voice, but he was not allowed to finish as the man bellowed

“Now I‘m gona break you’re neck! ”

“No need for violence I just wanted to know if you’re are wearing a girly vest or not”

“I put twenty on Jack Stravis” Simon heard someone from the bar say

before Simon could look for the speaker, the man punched him on the side of his face, Simon stumbled back and hit the pool table with a thud , he saw the man running for him and as he came at him Simon graved the first available weapon and swung. The pool cue hit the man so hard it broke, he man collapsed as if he was a puppet with his stings cut

“Jayne, is right this do make good weapons ” it was the last thing Simon said before all hell broke loose

River was surprise at her brothers actions, she knew it was not going to end well the moment Simon said the words afeminized to the man. When people started throw things she went to help her brother but was trapped in her own skirmish.

Meanwhile Simon was trying to avoid being use as a punching bag when a the sound of a shotgun being fired made everyone in the bar stop in there tracks.

“Who started this here brawl in my bar ” said a man who was standing on a table holding a rather large shotgun. Everyone in the bar pointed at Simon and River it would have been comical if it was not for the serious look on the owners face

“We don‘t much care for trouble makers” the man said as two man half carried- dragged Simon and River out the doors and threw them out on the dirty streets.

“And don’t you come back” said the man as he threw them there coats

“I had a hat you know!!” a still drunk and confused Simon yelled at the now closed back door of the bar.

“Simon, you do not own a hat” River said a little more sober than her brother

“Are you sure” asked a still confused Simon

“Yes, and what are we to do next, brother” asked River

“I don’t know, we spent most of our money to buy the drinks….wait we did not even get to finish them” Simon whined, River smiled devilishly as she pulled a full bottle of vodka form some where

“I managed to grabbed this during the confusion” she said still smiling

“That is great but,…hey, you said I ” Simon said surprised that River was not speaking in third person

“but, back to the topic, I do not think drinking more is a good idea” he said trying to be the responsible adult again

“I what to go to the zoo” River said randomly, Simon forgot what he was saying,

“uh, what” was all he could say

“She, I wishes to go the zoo” River said momentarily sidling back to third person

“It is close” Simon responded back

“lets go anyway” River said not really listening to her ge-ge

“But, we could get in tro…” Simon was interrupted by his sister

“We could break in, an we could have it to our selves” River said getting exited about her plan the more she thought about, it had been ages since she and Simon went on a family outing to the Zoo. But she could tell her brother was having second thoughts, but before he could say more she pressed the bottle to his lip, Simon took two big gulps of vodka and was again mellow and forgot for a second where he was.

“Lets go to the Zoo” River said to the Dazed Simon

“Sure why not ” Said Simon, he knew it was a bad a idea but he could not remember why, and he honestly could not bring himself to care. He then helped river to her feet and they both started to walk towards the Zoo.

--------------------------

Simon opened his eye’s to find a shocked and silent crew. Somehow over the time it took to tell the things he remember the whole crew had gather in the dining room with the exemption of Wash

“Wait, Wait, Wait you fought Jack Stravis, The Jack Stravis, the notorious mercenary and you are alive” Jayne interrupted the silence that had fallen on the room.

“Yes, no, I don’t know all I know was that was the name the people were calling, and cheering I mite add, the man that did his best to kill me” and exasperated Simon said

“Ok what else do you remember” Mal said

“I don’t know I remember getting to the zoo but then my memory goes fuzzy, maybe River remembers ” as he finish this everyone look towards the sleeping girl.

Wash decided to come into the room that moment

“Hey sorry for interrupting the look-intently-at-River thing but, I mite have found something, Mal you said to look for information on the Cortex about stolen money but so far they still have no leads or suspects but I found something interesting there was report of the Persephone Zoo, get this, some one broke in a vandalized it” Wash was laughing, he totally ignored the surprises and accusing looks everyone was soothing Simon.

“What is so funny Wash” Mal asked his pilot

“Mal the things the vandals did are well is like the best particle joke of the century” Wash ignored Simon’s look of fear and continued remembering what he read on the Cortex,

“Well first they drugged the guards and dressed them in dresses and put them in the penguin exhibit,” Wash could barely contain his laughter as he continued “then they switched all the animals from there cages, they put the monkey, which they dressed in fancy clothes first, in the bears exhibit and so on, they also put all the sings up-side down and well you get the picture but the biggest thing they did was ” by this point Wash was laughing so much he could almost not continue with the story “they blew the 30 foot statue of the Alliance emblem to a smoldering hole and spray painted, on the northern wall, in big bold letters ” before he could tell the rest he was interrupted by Simon

“The Alliance Sucks in red ” a shell -shocked Simon said looking at his hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world

“How you know” Wash asked kind of mad that he stole his thunder

“Because I wrote it” Simon said look at the red spot of paint in his hand, at least I now know how I got it he thought

“Your story just gets better and better don’t it ” Mal said

Again sorry for the delay but i been busy, please read and review