My Flirt With Danger

-Epilogue That Never Was-

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JD smiled happily to himself as he pulled a small bag of trail mix out of his pocket. He’d been waiting for this baby all day, and now it was time for a delicious snack! It was most amazing trail mix he’d ever seen, containing peanuts, almonds, cashews, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, raisins, and even chocolate chips! It was going to be like eating heaven, between the crunchy, chewy, gooey, salty, sweet combination of textures and flavors! Yes!

It was just the icing to top off his good day. His patients were all doing well, he’d been oogled by some fine looking women, and Doctor Cox hadn’t punished him for anything all day! He’d been a bit worried about the black mamba conversation coming back to bite him in the ass, no pun intended, but the skies were all clear for flying today and he couldn’t be in a better mood!

“Hi DJ!” came a squeaky little voice behind him, and he grinned before he even turned around.

“Hey Jackie,” he greeted the little blonde boy, ruffling his hair and earning a giggle. “Where’s your daddy?”

“Pewwy owdewed a man check for Beffany!” he said with a toothy smile. JD was so enamored with the stunted child speech and mispronounced R’s that he didn’t realize what Jack had actually said until it was too late. The child curled up his tiny little fist, brought it back for maximum momentum, and swung as hard as he could just as JD’s eyes widened in the face of the apocalypse.

WHAM!

JD’s body first crumpled in on itself before going down hard with a screech of pain, landing in a fetal position with both hands guarding his damaged goods. Next to him, Jack squealed in delight and clapped his hands. He loved it when someone told him to do a man check! It was so much fun!

“Atta boy Jack-o!” Perry said enthusiastically, applauding his son’s work as he came out from around a corner. He was grinning like a loon, and JD just barely managed to crane his face around to see him. Jack went running to his father, who picked him up and swung him around in the air before catching the giggling child. “Stupendous, really! I taught him that one, how cool is that?”

“Homygoddoctorcoxwhythenutshot?!” JD squealed, barely pausing in between each word.

Perry walked up to the prone doctor on the floor, grinning down at JD as the younger man tensed up in preparation for another attack on his family jewels. He pointed down at the brunette with an accusing finger. “That’s for calling my shows drivel,” he said in a low voice, frightening JD with the intensity of it and holy hell how did he know?!

“Are you a mind reader?!” the brunette squeaked in fear, eyes wide.

“No,” Perry said casually, joining his son in grinning down at the incapacitated doctor jovially. “I just know how your peanut brain works. All the best,” he said, his grin gaining a bit of an evil edge as he turned to walk away.

Jack waved at the brunette over his father’s shoulder, having enjoyed the game. “Bye DJ!” he called happily just before they disappeared around the corner.

JD shuddered, still unable to move. “That whole family is evil...” he whispered painfully. Unclenching his eyes, he looked around for his forgotten trail mix, delighted to find it just a foot or two away. I can reach it, he thought desperately, stretching out shaky fingers to the package. Thankfully he hadn’t opened them, otherwise they’d be all over the floor. At least he could still have his snack! Almost there! Just a few more inches and the mixed delight was his!

Smash!

JD’s twitching fingers where still held in mid-air as he stared in horror at the heavy boot resting on his pack of trail mix. Everything was squished or broken into tiny little pieces within the plastic package, which had also burst from built up air inside and had shot bits of crumbs and smashed nuts skittering across the carpet. He slowly looked up, up a pair of gray jumpsuit pant legs, up to the smiling face of the janitor. “Why?!” he cried in despair, hand shaking spasmodically.

The janitor merely quirked his head. “Nut shots on sale today. Two for one special.” And with that, he walked away, whistling carelessly.

JD stared at the ruined packaged of decimated nuts, slowly absorbing the janitor’s words. Finally, he clenched his eyes shut and whined.

End.

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Poor JD. Another victim of the man check! How does Doctor Cox know these things?! He has spider senses!