|Fight Fear With Fire
Author: TooMuchPressure88 PM
South Park is screwy. Stan's a vampire, Cartman's a wizard, Kyle's confused, and Kenny's in a coma. Not to mention the war that's about to break out. Rated for language and crude humor.Rated: Fiction T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 90,592 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10-18-09 - Published: 06-12-09 - id: 5133711
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Fight Fear With Fire
I have to rewrite ALL of my review responses because ONCE AGAIN, screwed up. I'm getting seriously fucking pissed off. *sigh* Oh well, here you guys go!
Fangirls have many unexplained problems. That's what makes us so awesome!
I recycled! Kinda....? I'm glad you like the characters, though! I was aiming for mysterious so... YAY!
Haha, I kinda forgot about Cartman for a minute there. But the vamps had a bigger plot going on, so they're all good. Cartman had an amount advantage because he figured out he was a wizard before Stan knew he was a vamp. So, I gues they're even.
Suspense! I think I've used every genre in this story so far! Haha, I win! lol
I know oodles of people love Panic! At The Disco, but that song doesn't seem so popular with the people I hang out with. I don't know why, though, it's my favorite!
Haha, thanks you for reviewing!
Chapter 33! Now 34! I'm so happy!
Izz a mystery... ooooh... sooodfodka... whatever I just wrote was a mystery. It looks like Sue Vodka, which would be an AWESOME name to have!
Stan can just do what they did in that episode, The Ungroundables or something. lol, they burned down Hot Topic!!! !
Oh my gosh, don't laugh at Kyle! Nobody understands him! l:'(
Haha, I'm glad I'm updating too! Thanks!
And thank you for reviewing, yo!
Thank you! Who dies?: EVERYONE! jk, what a depressing story that would be. Like "Knowing" or whatever that movie was called. Is it Kyle?: **cannot say!** That's kinda contradictory- don't kill kyle, but it would be good if you did. Haha, I know how ya feel. It's part of that Kyle Fangirl Phobia that's going around. Put him through hell on purpose, but then say that you feel remorse. 'Cause you always feel remorse- well I do! Where am I going with this?? OMG SNAPE!!! I totally just imagined Snape walking into this story and choked on a granola bar, I was laughing so hard! With all the Harry Potter references, I should actually randomly pop him in there. Uh... why do I have a feeling I should rephrase that last part? =O.O=
OMG YOU WROTE AN UPDATE SONG!!!!! *HUGGLES* I LOVE YOU! I love that song too! You rule! You win! Your prize is an update! :D
Kyle's uber sexy, but I still can't believe you read this in one day! Aren't your eyes burning???
Thank you for reviewing! You write good songs too!
I love that you're thinking the prophecy through like Kyle is. I must point out that your theories are very good. I can't say if they're accurate, because that would kind of ruin the point. Haha, you should get a mystery machine!
I miss updating every day. It always felt so accomplishy or something. ANd now I've got Dance Team that's gonna get in my way! If I even make it. :D
Man, I would go see the premiere of the Horse Poo movie any day. Well, anyday that Twilight's on too. :P
Vamp Stan Plushie!!!! I WANT ONE!!! I imagine that plushie as looking like red goth, except his hair's more emo than goth. And those shoes are pimp! Those purple ones.
Thank you ever so much for reviewing!
Chapter Thirty-Four: Great Minds Think Alike. What A Load Of BS - You need help to figure out a mystery. It just depends on what help you get.
Darkness. Oh, that isn't what you're supposed to see when you wake up. Where was he even standing? Kyle strained his eyes to see something, anything that he could hold onto. Nothing appeared, and he really hadn't expected anything to. He lifted one foot off of the 'ground' he was standing on and stomped. It was satisfactorily solid. After much hesitation, he took another step. Not a good idea. His foot flew through the air and he lost his balance on whatever he'd been standing on before. Now he was falling, falling. There wasn't any whooshing in his ears or cold air hitting his face. For all he knew, he could've been floating. He knew he was wrong when he hit solid ground again.
"Kyyyyyyyleeeee," came a drawling voice, low and scratchy.
Kyle jumped up and looked around. There still wasn't any light, and it was beginning to scare him. He wouldn't move again. Who knew if the ground was there or not?
"Ohhhh Kyyyyyyyllllleeee," the voice said.
Kyle bit his lip nervously. "Y-yeah?"
He heard breathing in his ears that wasn't his. Whoever was talking seemed to be circling around him. He couldn't feel anything, not even when he waved his hand frantically through the air. There wasn't any.
"It'sssss beeeennnn sooooo looonnnng…"
Kyle whirled around to where he assumed the voice was coming from. Then he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"SHIT!" Kyle screamed, stumbling back and landing on (thankfully) the ground. A bright light momentarily blinded him, and when it faded he saw the source of the voice.
He had blonde scraggly hair and bright blue eyes, and his lips were pulled into a teasing smirk. "Did you miss me?"
Kenny laughed. "Yep. Dude, I'm so glad you're here. It gets really lonely around here."
"Where exactly is here?"
The blonde shrugged. "No idea," he said, "All I know is that I've gone god knows how long without a freaking smoothie. Or a girl. Do you know what that's like for me?"
"Must be painful," Kyle muttered sarcastically, picking himself off the ground. "When did I get here?"
"Feels like an hour. There's not really a clock down here, so…"
Kyle scratched his head. "Wait. You're in a coma."
"Does that mean I'm in a coma?"
Kenny laughed again. "How should I know? I just know that you picked a good ass time to become emo."
"Cutting yourself gets you nowhere," he said, faking an authoritative voice, "You need to find better ways to solve your problems."
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Kenny, can you please be serious?"
"I've had no one to talk to for the longest time!" Kenny whined, "I've had to talk to that fucking dildo over there!" he gestured to a corner of the room where an old man sat playing sudoku. "I think he's deaf, and he keeps telling me that he wants his cake!"
Kyle glanced between Kenny and the man. "Does he know anything about where we are?"
"He thinks my name's Bedelia!"
The redhead groaned. "Then how are we supposed to get out of here?"
"I don't know, but can you just stay for a while? Come on, I got some stuff I gotta catch you up on."
Kyle squinted his eyes. "Catch me up on?"
Kenny nodded and grabbed Kyle's arm, leading him away from the old sudoku man. "Okay, so why did you go all emo?"
"Uh… it wasn't emo. I was trying to get the darkness in my blood so I could find out what Wendy's prophecy is."
"Yeah I know, because the vamps…"
Kyle's eyes widened. "Wait, wait, wait. How do you know about the vamps?"
"How do you not know?" Kenny said with a grin, "That one chick's fucking hot! Too bad she got with that douchey Brad Pitt dude."
Kyle held up a finger to stop him. "Are you talking about Kady and Aaron?"
"Yeah, dude!" Kenny said, throwing his hands out in a 'le duh' manner.
"How do you know all this shit?"
Kenny sighed. "Please don't make me explain it right now. Let's just take this one thing at a time."
"Wait," Kyle said suddenly, "Wendy! Is Wendy alive?"
Kenny let all the air out of his lungs. "Oh god, is she ever." He clapped his hands and Wendy appeared in the middle of the room, looking thoroughly annoyed. "Alive and kicking."
"Damn it, Kenny!" she screeched, "I told you to call me before you did that!"
"I'm so sorry," Kenny said sarcastically, "I must've left my cell phone in my comatose body!"
Kyle motioned at Kenny to shut up. "Wendy? You're alive?"
"Yes! And I know that that bitch thinks I'm the prophet," she said, calming down slightly, "But I'm not. I have no idea what a prophet is!"
Kenny groaned. "You wouldn't believe how pissed she was to see Stan on an adventure with two hot girls."
"I wasn't pissed!" Wendy shouted, her voice once again rising in pitch, "I just can't believe he's a vampire!" She turned to Kyle. "Can you believe it, Kyle?"
Kyle shrugged. "It's more believable than giant guinea pigs attacking the world dressed as bees, pirates, and dinosaurs."
"Ugh!" she whined, "I hate this! I was just sitting in my room with Bebe when this pissy chick shows up and points her twig at me! Now I'm stuck in a fucking asylum with Sudoku Santa and Masturbating McCormick!"
Kyle looked at Kenny, who winked at him. "Oh Jesus, Kenny," he said, "Wait, then who's the prophet? And where did you come from, Wendy?"
"I was over there," she replied, pointing to another unseen corner of the room, "I would've come out, but I was reading."
The redhead groaned and sighed. "I've never been this confused in my life."
"Let's just take it one question at a time," Wendy reasoned, "I think we should first figure out your prophecy, Kyle."
"What about yours?" he asked.
"The one that you recited after you kissed Stan." Kyle spoke urgently. "The prophecy, Wendy, do you have it?"
"That was a prophecy?"
"Yes!" Kyle snapped, "Can we please see it?"
She nodded slowly. "Why, do you need it?" she asked.
"Damn it, yes!" he snapped, "If we're gonna be down here, we might as well get some god damned work done."
Wendy looked a bit taken aback. "Well Jesus, someone's on his period."
"Look who's talking!" Kenny retorted.
She glared and handed a pen over to Kyle. "It said:
The final battle approaches.
One power will stand above the rest.
There is a traitor in your midst
And a tragedy in your future.
To save one, many must die.
The power lies within one.
For darkness to rise
it must make the right decision."
Kyle wrote down the last part. "Mine's a lot like yours. Your first line is 'the final battle approaches.' Mine says 'The war draws nearer.' It's obviously talking about the same war. The one between the vamps and the wizards." He pulled his paper out and scanned it, Wendy looking over his shoulder.
"What about 'An old friend will turn their back?'" Wendy said, "That's a lot like 'there's a traitor in your midst.'"
Kyle nodded thoughtfully. "But… the traitor one is a bit more broad. The traitor and the old friend could be two different people." He leaned a bit closer. "I think the old friend is either Cartman or…" he glanced at Wendy, "Stan."
"Stan?" she screeched, "It's not Stan! He'd never turn his back!"
Kenny was also in deep thought. "But… Kyle might be right. Stan ditched him in the forest."
"Isn't it more likely to be Cartman?" she asked desperately.
Kyle and Kenny glanced at each other. "It depends on whose old friend it's speaking of. If it's my old friend, then it's probably Stan. If it's Kenny's or Stan's old friend, then it's probably Cartman."
"Or you," Wendy added, glaring.
Kyle raised an eyebrow. "Or me," he repeated seriously. He looked at both lists again. "Hey! Look, yours doesn't mention the darkness!"
Wendy blinked. "So?"
"Maybe yours is talking about the wizards, and mine's talking about the vampires!"
Kenny's eyes brightened. "Dude, that's brilliant!"
"And that means the traitor must be Cartman," Kyle said.
Wendy shook her head. "No, wait. We can't elaborate on one theory. The fact that mine's about wizards is just a theory. If we elaborate on just that, then if one thing is wrong, the whole thing is screwed."
"We have nothing else to elaborate on, Wendy," Kyle said darkly, "Unless you want the traitor to be Stan."
While they argued, Kenny was looking at the two papers. "Hey, look at this. 'A tragedy is in your future.' 'A savior will fall from their own actions.'" He looked at the other two, "Doesn't fall kind of mean… like… die?"
The two quit feuding to look at him. "Yeah, that's good, dude. But who's a savior?"
"Jesus!" Kenny said brightly.
"Wrong," Wendy snapped, "I mean, right, but not what we're talking about."
Kenny nodded. "You're right. Jesus would just come back on Easter anyway."
"Stop, you're offending Kyle!" Kenny interrupted, shielding Kyle's ears from Wendy's words.
Kyle pushed Kenny off of him. "Seriously, guys, let's concentrate. Who could be the…"
"Holy shit!" Kenny shouted, jumping up and backing away from Kyle, "Kyle!"
Kyle turned sharply. "What?"
"You saved Stan, remember!" he said, "The light, remember? That means you're a savior! Oh my god, dude, you're gonna die!"
The redhead looked alarm for a moment, then shook his head. "That technically wasn't me. Remember, it was the darkness?"
Kenny relaxed. "Oh… maybe the darkness will die?"
"I don't think the darkness can die," Wendy said.
"I wish you would die," Kenny muttered, not loud enough for Wendy to hear.
She shook her head. "The one that creeps me out is 'To save one, many must die.' Who's important enough to have people die for them?"
Kenny looked between them. "Wait. The vamps are looking for a new leader, right?"
Kyle brightened. "Good, Ken!" he exclaimed, "That means that they're going to find the leader before the war!"
"That's not good," Wendy said, "Didn't you read it? 'One of the leaders is not what they seem.'"
"Yeah, but yours is talking about the wizards," Kenny argued.
"Remember, we're not going off of that theory."
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Of course we're not. It's mine."
The death glare was exchanged between the group as the hunched over the prophecies again.
"My lord, I come with good tidings."
Lord Krishnos huffed. "I have no interest in toilet paper, Rakland."
Rakland shook his head. "No, my lord, you are speaking of Tide. That's a brand of bleach, I believe."
"What's going on, Rakland?" Lord Krishnos snapped.
"The boy that the darkness possessed is dead. As is the alleged prophet girl."
Lord Krishnos nodded. "Good, good. So there are no doubts in our way." He strode into the red light, staring at the waterfall of lava. "Now our mission is simple. We must get to the meeting at Sidnis.
Hey, does anyone get the cake and the Bedelia thing? If you do, tell me! I wanna see how many of y'all know.
I'm so tired, but I have a song for you guys. It may be sucky, but I'm sorry. My eyes are closing as I type.
To the tune of "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. I can't believe I didn't have this idea earlier. It's just the chorus.
(the part that goes I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you)
I don't care what you say
Just come on and review
You can gimme some praise
But hating always works too
I just need something to keep this story from explodin'
(the part that goes Keep bleedin' keep keep bleedin' love)
Please please review now
Please please review now
You know it will just say that over and over. I just reminded myself that I have music tomorrow. *sigh*