Authors note: I know I said I was going to be busy, and well I still am busy but I just needed to write a new story on fan fiction. So here it is. This is my version of series one. I’m not nearly as funny as the writers of the best program ever and I know that. So please read, review, favourite, give my ideas and whatever else you can do.

Monica and Phoebe are sat on the sofa while Joey and Chandler are sat on the chairs in Central Perk.

Ross walks in

Ross: I miss being married. I miss cuddling on the sofa. I miss waking up in the middle of the night and not seeing anyone next to me. I even miss the little arguments about her touching my...

Chandler: I don’t want to hear the rest of that sentence

Ross: my fossils

Joey: yeah right ‘your fossils’

Everyone but Phoebe laughs

Phoebe: I don’t get it

Title comes on

Joey: tell me one last time why you’re getting divorced

Ross: because she was a lesbian

Chandler: sometimes I wish I was a lesbian

Everyone looks at Chandler

Chandler: did I just say that out loud?

Rachel enters

Monica looks around and spots Rachel

Monica: Rachel?

Rachel: Monica!

Chandler: Joey

Monica: Chandler stop with the jokes

Chandler: I can’t help it

Monica shows Rachel to where they are sitting

Monica: this is Phoebe and Joey and Chandler and you remember Ross

Rachel: sure

Monica: so what have you been up to?

Rachel: about to move to Australia

Monica: When?

Rachel: now

Monica: so what are you doing here?

Rachel: I couldn’t do it. I don’t love Barry

Monica: who’s Barry?

Rachel: My fiancé

At Monica’s apartment

Monica: so what are you going to do?

Rachel: I don’t know. Maybe I should call Barry and tell him I needed to say goodbye to an old high school friend, I think he would understand.

Monica: if you don’t love him then don’t go back to him. You can stay here for tonight if you want to.

Rachel: thanks Monica

Monica: it’s okay. So what Pizza does everyone want?

Rachel: you eat pizzas?

Monica: yeah you don’t?

Rachel: not normally

Joey: Meatball please

Phoebe: I will have a vegetarian one

Ross: cheese

Monica: Chandler?

Chandler: Oh errm any

(Next day in Monica’s apartment)

Ross: Hi

Joey: what sup?

Ross: Carole’s pregnant!

Joey: with Susan’s baby

Chandler: oh my god it’s a miracle

Joey: what is?

Chandler: Susan fathering a baby

Ross: I’m being serious

Monica: are you the dad?

Chandler: well it can’t be Susan now can it?

Monica: you know what I mean

Joey: why can’t two girls have babies?

Chandler: wait a minute while I laugh

Joey: stop it I’m being serious

Chandler: okay, boys have something different to what girls have...

Joey: is at a Joey’s apple?

Chandler: no and it’s not a Joey’s apple it’s an Adam’s apple

Joey: okay

Chandler: and you need one if these things to have a baby

Joey: Oh okay

Ross: didn’t you learn anything about this at school?

Joey: no I was too busy

Chandler: doing what?

Joey: you know... you know

Chandler: Oh that

Joey: yeah baby

Chandler: stop saying yes baby

Joey: yeah baby

(Chandler walks out of the apartment)

Joey: Chandler I’m sorry

(Later on in Central Perk)

Rachel: so what do you guys do in your spare time?

Monica: work

Rachel: you all have jobs?

Monica: yes

Joey: I’m an actor

Rachel: will I have seen you in anything?

Joey: I’ve mainly do theatre work

Rachel: okay

Chandler: but you might have seen him in the theatre version of...

Joey: Chandler shut it

Monica: so how do you pay for the things that you want if you don’t have a job?

Rachel: on the credit card that my daddy pays for me

Monica: your dad pays for everything

Rachel: yes he said he would

Monica: you need to stop using the credit card

Rachel: why are you finding this so hard to believe?

Monica: because you are a twenty five year old who has no job and her ‘daddy’ still pays for everything that she buys

Rachel: you’re right I need to find one of these job things

Monica: step one buy a newspaper

Rachel: that’s easier enough

Monica: I haven’t finished yet

Rachel: Oh

Monica: cut up the credit cards

Rachel: I can’t do that

(At Monica’s apartment)

Monica: Phoebe can you get the scissors out for me please

Phoebe: why?

Monica: because Rachel is cutting up her cards

Phoebe: Oh yeah

(Phoebe gets the scissors out and gives them to Rachel)

Everyone: cut, cut, cut, cut

(Rachel cuts it)

Rachel: (with tears in her eyes) wow that was hard

Monica: that was only your daddy’s business card

Rachel: and...

Monica: just cut the next card

Rachel: I’m feeling a little tired can’t it wait till the morning?

Monica: no because you’ll never cut them and you will be living off your daddy for the rest of your life.

Rachel: you’re right

Monica: I know

(Rachel cuts the rest of the cards)

Monica: well done you did it

Chandler: Oh really

Monica: now for the job

Joey: I heard that the new strip club is looking for a stripper

Rachel: I don’t think so

Ross: Central Perk is looking for a waitress

Rachel: I can do that

Monica: you bet you can

Rachel: thanks Monica you believe in me

Monica: yeah I do

(In central Perk)

Gunther: please give a round of applause for Phoebe Buffay

(Everyone claps)

Phoebe: Hi everyone, my first song is for my friend Ross who is having a baby

Phoebe: They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch,
and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,
and you cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry and you cry and you cry and you cry...

(End title comes on)

Phoebe: I get it

Ross: you get what?

Phoebe: about the fossil thing

Ross: what fossil thing?

Phoebe: about Carole touching your Fossils

Chandler: you only just got that?

Phoebe: err yeah

Thanks for reading hope you like it. Oh and please will you review

Kayleigh XP