and now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123

The Spirit Room

It was nearly Halloween.

Everyone was getting ready for the occasion. Houses all over the street were being decorated in orange and black streamers, inflatable pumpkins, and plastic bats hanging from tree branches.

In Calvin and Hobbes’ house, Mom and Dad were sitting in the kitchen, reading the newspapers and drinking coffee. They were enjoying a strangely peaceful afternoon. They weren’t going to ask questions. They were going to enjoy it while it lasted.

This could not last, however, because a strange smell wafted up and into their nostrils. Their nostrils inflated as they took in the unappealing odor.

“Phoo!” Dad said, waving in front his nose rapidly. “What’s that stench?”

“It smells like…garlic!” Mom said, almost gagging as she sniffed at it.

Their eyes narrowed as they looked over their shoulders.

“Calvin…,” they hissed.

They through their papers down, put their mugs aside, pushed their chairs out and headed for the stairs, both prepared for the worst.

But just as they were about to start onto the first step, they noticed Calvin coming towards them with an angry expression.

“Mom, what’s that smell?!” he demanded. “It smells like latex boots that have been left in the sun too long!”

Mom and Dad exchanged glances in confusion.

“You mean…,” Dad said slowly, “…you mean, you don’t know what that smell is?”

Calvin rolled his eyes.

“Dad, I honestly don’t have the patience for a smell like this,” he grumbled. “I’d prefer you do something about this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got things to do.”

And Calvin charged up the stairs to his room.

Mom and Dad exchanged glances.

“So…if it’s not him,” Mom said slowly, “then what’s making that garlicky smell?”

Dad shrugged. “I’ll check the garbage disposal.”

“I’ll check the garage.”

They went their separate ways into the house.

Calvin watched them from the top of the stairs for a while, and then he turned and went back into his room.

When he got there, he found himself up to his armpits in piles of garlic.

“Okay,” he said, glaring at the giant pile. “I’ve diverted their attention away from us. That should buy us some time until at least November 1st.”

There was a rustling from under the piles of garlic, and Hobbes suddenly emerged. He was wearing a necklace made of garlic around his neck, and he wearing garlic around his wrists, ankles and head like sweatbands. He was holding the Mini-Duplicator in his hand.

“Good, good,” he said, overseeing his handiwork. “Hmmm… Do you think it’s enough?”

“I think it’s insane,” Calvin said.

Hobbes seemed to ignore him. He reached into the pile and pulled out a sprig of garlic, and he promptly began to eat it, much to Calvin’s disgust.

“Hobbes, I didn’t think tigers ate garlic.”

“We don’t.”

“Then why are you eating it?”

“We’ve been over this.”

Calvin sighed, and then he started to look around his room.

“Hey, where’s MTM?” he asked.

“OI!” a muffled voice shouted.

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

“MTM?” Calvin asked. “Where are you?”

“Calvin!” MTM shouted. “Stay alive. No matter what occurs, I will find you!”

Suddenly, a robotic arm shot out of the garlic and began to thrash about, waving Calvin over.

“Oh for Pete’s sake, Hobbes!” Calvin grumbled, struggling over to grab the hand. “This is getting out of hand!”

“Send my love to mother!” MTM continued yelling.

“I’m sorry, but I have to insist,” Hobbes said. “I’ve had enough trouble with ghosts, and after last year, I’m taking no chances!”

Calvin managed to pull MTM out of the garlic.

“Hobbes, that ghost from last year wasn’t the same ghost! That ghost was some guy who wouldn’t pay up his debts! He was haunting Socrates, not us! I’d say our house is ghost free.”

“How do you know?” Hobbes retorted. “Just because we don’t see them, it doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

“Hobbes, we established already that ghosts can’t hurt you. They just scare you.”

“It’s enough for me.”

“Frankly,” MTM said, “I think you need to find a new way to fend off the ghosts. Preferably a way that doesn’t embed a horrid stench into the carpet.”

“Agreed,” Calvin nodded.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got a Plan B. If the garlic doesn’t work, I pull out the silver.”

“What silver? We don’t have any silver.”

“Oh no?”

Hobbes whipped out a coin.

Calvin looked at it closer.

“Hobbes, that’s a quarter,” he said, his eyebrows leveling out over his skeptical eyes.

“It’s made of silver!” Hobbes said defiantly.

“It’s still just a quarter,” MTM said.

“We’ll soon find out how powerful it is, won’t we?”

“No, we won’t,” Calvin sighed, rolling his eyes. “Come on. We’re going to Socrates’ house for another game of Poker.”

“Are you sure?” Hobbes asked.

“I’m pretty sure. He invited us.”

“No, I mean, are you sure you want to go?”

“Hey, I’ve found plenty of paperclips. And we can probably unload some of this garlic too.”

Hobbes growled at him.

“Fine, fine. I’ll just grab things out of the hypercube. Come on, guys. They’re waiting for us.”

Hobbes nodded, and Calvin put MTM in his pocket. They crawled out of the room and spilled out into the hallway with the garlic. Glaring at Hobbes, Calvin led him downstairs.

Mom and Dad were just regrouping at the bottom of the stairs when Calvin came past carrying his tiger on his shoulder.

“Hey, Mom and Dad, we’re going down to Socrates’ house for awhile. We’ll be back before supper,” he said, not even looking up at them as he crossed to the door.

“Okay,” Mom said, also taking no notice of him.

Calvin and Hobbes left the house and started up the street.

Mom looked up at Dad.

“You don’t suppose we’ve got some sort of mold underneath one of the sinks?” she asked.

Dad looked over into the kitchen. “Guess we’ll have to check. I’ll go get a magnifying glass,” he said.

“I’ll get a book so we can identify it.”

And they set to work.

As Mom went into the living room, she saw a white ring on the floor.

“Dear, why is there a circle of salt on the floor?” she asked.

Calvin and Hobbes arrived at the giant mansion that served as a home to Socrates. They opened the giant wooden double doors and wandered inside.

They walked around the house until they found the pool room. Amongst the pub games and the pool tables, they saw a small card table in center with a hanging light dangling over it.

Seated around it were Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

Socrates was shuffling the cards. Andy was wearing a green eyeshade and had a chocolate cigar in his mouth. Sherman was wearing a tiny pair of sunglasses.

“We’re here,” Calvin said, heading for a chair next to Andy.

They looked up and saw them.

They could only stare at Hobbes.

Hobbes was still covered from head to toe in garlic.

“New look, Hobbo?” Socrates asked, smirking.

“This is the ultimate defense systems against ghosts,” Hobbes retorted, totally serious.

“What, did just walking through them prove to be too easy?” Andy asked.

Hobbes glared while the others snickered.

“Laugh if you will. We’ll see if you’re laughing by Halloween.”

“I’m sure we will,” Sherman said, taking a bite of popcorn. “Are we ready to play?”

Calvin took MTM out of his pocket and sat him down on the table. Socrates picked him up and put him down between him and Sherman.

Everyone took out their loot and put it out on the table.

“Okay, let’s play some really lousy Poker!” Socrates announced.

He started to flick cards around the table to everyone. Everyone picked up the cards.

Sherman managed to pick up his giant cards and put them into a fan.

MTM extended his robot arms and picked up his cards.

Just before Hobbes looked at his cards, however, he reached into the hypercube and pulled out a salt shaker.

“What the heck is that for?” Socrates asked.

Hobbes didn’t answer. He simply poured salt into his hand and started sprinkle it in a circler around his chair.

“Hobbes, you’re getting salt on my floor!” Socrates exclaimed indignantly.

“You’ll thank me later,” Hobbes replied.

“Yes, I will, once you’ve cleaned it up!”

Hobbes ignored him and finished his circle. He put the salt shaker aside and finally looked at his cards.

Everyone sat in silence as they determined their strategies.

Soon, they were tossing various objects into the middle of the table.

“Okay, I’m in,” Andy said.

“Me, too,” said Socrates.

“I’m in,” Calvin said.

“Ditto,” MTM said.

As they started to get into the game, however, they heard a faint buzzing sound.

They all looked up and saw that fly was buzzing in rather low, circling around them.

Calvin swatted it at it angrily, but the fly continued to buzz around them.

Everyone tried not to let one fly bother them, but they finally started to get annoyed by it.

After a minute of buzzing, the fly finally landed on one of Hobbes’ garlic bulbs.

Hobbes glared at it and swatted at it.

“Hobbes, might I suggest you take the garlic off for awhile?” Sherman asked.

“Make me, Vermin,” Hobbes growled.

The fly wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Just forget it. Let’s play,” he insisted, glaring determinedly at his cards.

The others rolled their eyes and resumed the game.

“Okay,” Socrates said. “Calvin, I’ll see your two paperclips, and raise you a demeaning errand of your choice.” He tossed a scrap of paper into the pile to represent his bet.

“I’ll see your demeaning errand and raise you a humiliating stunt in a crowded area,” said Andy, putting in his own scrap of paper.

“One conspicuous nose-pick in front of a pretty girl, and I call,” MTM said, putting in his own scrap of paper.

Just because they didn’t bet money didn’t mean the stakes weren’t high.

Then a smell began to enter their nostrils.

Everyone sniffed at the room before all eyes finally directed at Hobbes.

Hobbes became aware of several eyes boring into his skull. He looked up.

“What?” he asked.

“Hobbes, the garlic is going bad,” Andy grumbled.

“It’s a right pong,” MTM added. “Toss ‘em.”

“I can’t. It’s a safety precaution,” Hobbes replied, not looking up.

“Hobbes, we can’t concentrate. That smell is awful!” Calvin said.

“Tough.”

Socrates sighed and rubbed his temples.

“Okay, Hobbo, I’ve honestly been trying to be supportive of this insane need to feel safe every single waking moment of the day. I really have. But seriously, you’re beginning to get on even my nerves, and let’s face it: I’m me!”

Hobbes glared at him.

“Just ante-up,” he grumbled, glaring back at his cards.

Socrates sighed and the game continued.

“Okay,” Calvin said, tossing a piece of paper into the center of the table. “I bet my fourth-born son.”

“One kidney,” Andy said.

“Future girlfriend,” MTM said.

Everyone stared at him.

“Oi, it could happen!” he snorted.

Everyone shrugged and went back to the game.

“This game is starting to take a serious turn,” Sherman commented.

“Much like the garlic,” Andy added, glaring up at Hobbes.

Hobbes sighed and threw his cards down.

“Fine!” he snapped. “I’ll do something about it.”

And he took a big bite out of a garlic bulb.

Everyone stared at him, practically on the verge of gagging.

“Hobbes, that can not taste good,” Sherman said, feeling his tiny stomach churning at the very sight of it.

“I’m taking every chance I can!” Hobbes said, still chomping through the garlic. “No ghost is going to get me!”

Everyone sighed and looked away.

There was a pause, and finally, Hobbes managed to swallow.

He sat there, making a series of funny faces.

“You okay?” Calvin dared to ask.

Finally, Hobbes got up from his seat.

“Excuse me, I have to go drink out of the toilet,” he said, trying to keep his tongue out of his mouth.

And with that, he fled the room.

Everyone sighed and went back to betting.

That evening, everyone who didn’t live there exited the mansion.

Socrates went to the doors to see them off. He was wearing a pair of boxers on his head and had a bowling pin tucked under his arm.

“Good game, everyone,” he said. “See you all tomorrow.”

Andy and Sherman left first. Andy was wearing a snorkel, swimming goggles and an inner-tube. Sherman was wearing a big red bow and tiny angel wings, with bright red lipstick.

“Later, Socrates,” Andy said, nodding at him.

“Goodnight,” Sherman added.

Calvin and Hobbes exited next. Calvin was wearing a tutu and had three rubber darts coming off of his back. Hobbes was wearing a Dr Seuss hat and a bright red cape, and he was still covered in garlic.

“See ya, Socrates,” Calvin said.

“Bye,” said Hobbes.

Socrates nodded. “See you all tomorrow.” And he went back inside, shutting the doors.

Calvin and Hobbes walked down the sidewalk towards their house.

“So,” Calvin said. “What do you wanna do when we get home?”

“Oh, there’re still a few more things I wanna try before bedtime. And you?”

“Well, Galaxoid and Nebular told me about this great TV show that runs on a channel in their universe, so I thought I’d give it a try with MTM. We’re going to try and get the signals tonight.”

“Sounds interesting,” Hobbes commented.

“Oh, not as interesting as playing Poker with you guys,” MTM said from Calvin’s pocket.

Calvin sighed and pulled MTM out of his pocket.

The red CD player was wearing a diaper.

“I don’t see what you’re so annoyed about,” Calvin said. “I think you might’ve broken even.”

“Might’ve?” MTM asked.

“The way we bet makes it kind of hard to tell sometimes,” Hobbes explained.

MTM snorted. “One of these days, when we all get jobs, we need to start betting with money,” he said.

Calvin sighed.

They arrived at their house and went down the walk towards their door. They hopped up the steps and entered the house.

“We’re home!” Calvin called, lugging Hobbes over his shoulder.

Mom came downstairs.

“Calvin, I don’t suppose you’d know why we’ve been finding rings of salt around the chairs, would you?” she asked.

Calvin glared at the stuffed tiger on his shoulder before looking at Mom.

“It’s supposed to be a precaution against ghosts, Mom,” he explained.

“Ghosts?” Mom asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Hobbes and I saw it on the Sci-Fi channel. Apparently if you put a ring of salt around yourself, the ghosts can’t get you.”

Mom sighed.

“Calvin, there’re no such things as ghosts,” she said sternly. “Now I want you to clean up the salt.”

“Yes, Mom.”

Then, for good measure, he sniffed the air.

“Ugh, that smell still here?” he asked, pulling a face.

Mom sighed again.

“Yes, we can’t find the problem.”

“Have you checked the air ducts? Maybe there’s something growing in there.”

And with that, he walked upstairs.

Mom began to consider this.

Then she watched Calvin go upstairs. She stared in disbelief.

Was Hobbes wearing fishnet stockings?

Later on, Calvin was alone in his room with MTM. They had managed to clear away some of the garlic, and they were now on the bed. Calvin was examining MTM with a magnifying glass.

“Okay…,” he said, looking closer. “I think I see the circuit. Let’s see what would happen if…”

Calvin slowly connected a screwdriver with the circuit he was looking at.

ZAP!

“OW!” Calvin shouted as he was slammed into the wall by a volt of electricity. He slid down it and fell on his pillow. Shaking his head, he crawled back over to MTM.

“What’d I do?” he asked.

“You zapped yourself,” MTM replied.

Calvin sighed. “I know that part. I want to know what caused it.”

“You put a metal screwdriver on a working circuit.”

Calvin sighed to himself.

Hobbes came into the room holding a shop-vac. He tossed it onto the bed.

“Finished,” he grumbled. “Happy?”

“If Mom’s happy, I’ll be happy,” Calvin replied, picking up the screwdriver again.

“How’s it coming?”

“Slowly. I can’t get a lock on the transmissions.”

Hobbes shrugged. “Well, I’m going down to see Sherman.”

“What for?”

“He said he might be able to help me with my ghost problem.”

Calvin suppressed a smirk. “Yeah, most likely he’s going to bang you on the head, but whatever.”

“Hey, I’ll take what I can get.”

“You’re going to get a headache.”

“We’ll soon see.”

And with that, Hobbes left the room.

Calvin returned to the task at hand.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s take a gander at this.”

He took the magnifying glass to the circuitry again, and then he smirked.

“Okay, I think I see the correct wires. The red ones are the transmission circuits, right?”

“Yep. They also handle FM Radio.”

“Good. Now we just need to enhance them and get a hold on the transmission from Annkor. Any suggestions?”

MTM thought about that.

“Well,” he said at last, “we could use the interdimensional power from my hypercube to increase my power and to pick up the radio waves.”

Calvin stared. “Will that work?”

“It’s worth a shot. Hang about. I’ve got it in hand.”

There was a pause, and MTM revved and started up. He started to glow a hot white, and then he slowed down.

“There. It’s done.”

Calvin was hesitant. “You’re, uh… You’re sure?” he asked timidly.

“Yep. Give it a go.”

“You’re sure? Because it seems as though every time I try to do something with you, you tend to have an accident and I end up suffering the consequences.”

“Oh, ye of little faith. Just hit the PLAY button. It’ll be alright.”

Calvin still hesitated, but he finally reached forward and pressed the PLAY button.

The MTM made a sound that sounded like a computer revving as it was being turned on.

For the briefest of nanoseconds, Calvin was able to fool himself into thinking that the plan was working.

Reality gave him a cold slap in the face.

“Emergency. Emergency,” MTM announced.

“What is it?” Calvin asked as he squinted his eyes shut.

“There’s an emergency going on.”

“I know. What is the emergency?”

“There was too much interdimensional power in the hypercube. I’m overloading.”

At this point in his life, Calvin was so used to life-threatening disasters that he found it disturbingly difficult to fear for his threatened life.

“What are we going to do?” he asked, sounding a bit bored actually.

“Well, we could hitting the REWIND button. That might reverse the process.”

“MTM, I thought none of your CD buttons did what they were labeled.”

“It’s worth a try.”

Calvin sighed and reached out to touch the MTM’s REWIND button. He pressed it.

KAZAP-KAPOW!

Calvin was immediately struck by a volt of electricity that threw him across the room once again, and he slid down the wall and landed softly on his pillow, slowly losing consciousness.

The last thing he heard before nodding off was MTM saying, “Well, that’s sussed it.”

A while later, Calvin managed to wake up.

“Wha… What happened?” he asked groggily.

As he struggled to get his bearings back, Calvin looked up.

He was certain he could see a dark figure standing next to him.

Struggling to clear his vision, he saw that the figure was in fact a young boy. He was a pale boy. He looked to be wearing clown makeup. His lips were a very black color. He was wearing a black suit. His eyes were surrounded by heavy black eyeliner.

Calvin knew that most children don’t go for the Goth appearance until middle school, so he figured something weird was going on.

Managing to get himself back to normal, Calvin struggled to get up and look the boy in the face.

The boy’s eyes were holding absolutely no emotion.

Calvin scrunched up his face. “Who are you?” he asked. He figured it was entirely valid question. He’d never seen the boy before.

The boy didn’t answer. He just looked at Calvin emotionlessly.

Calvin felt very creeped out by this.

“Erm, what can I do for you?” he asked carefully.

Then he noticed that MTM was nearby. He had been switched off.

“Did you turn off MTM?” he asked, trying his hardest to be friendly to this complete stranger.

The boy didn’t answer.

Calvin squinted his eyes quizzically. “How did you get in here?” he asked.

This time, the boy did something. He backed away from Calvin, turned to his right, and exited out the door.

Staring at him, Calvin rolled his eyes.

“Okay, you came in through the door. I guess that was obvious.”

The boy didn’t reply. In fact, he didn’t even come back.

Calvin, still unsure of his visitor, got off the bed and ran out of his room, looking around for the boy. He didn’t see him anywhere.

Instead, he saw Hobbes coming up the stairs. He was carrying a very strange-looking plant, but Calvin didn’t care much about that for now.

“Hobbes?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“Did you see someone on your way up the stairs?”

Hobbes stared at Calvin.

“No, should I have?”

“I think so. I saw some kid after I regained consciousness.”

“Why were you unconscious?” Hobbes asked before raising his free paw. “Actually, you know what? I don’t want to know. What did this kid look like?”

“Probably about my age. He was really pale and was all black. He looked like a character from a Roger Corman movie.”

“Completely expressionless and a bit depressing?”

“Along with a healthy dose of clichés.”

Hobbes thought about it.

“No, I’m pretty sure I didn’t see him. I’d remember someone like that,” he said at last.

Calvin stared at him for a moment, and then nodded in acceptance.

“Huh,” he said. “I must’ve been hallucinating from being unconscious.”

“Again, I don’t want to know.”

Just as he was about to enter their bedroom, Calvin stopped him.

“Oh, and Hobbes?”

“Yes?”

“One more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“What’s with the plant?”

Hobbes stared at the plant in his hand.

“Oh, this is from Sherman. He said it’d keep all ghosts away.”

“Really? What do you do with it?”

“He said all I had to do was make it into a necklace and I’d be fine.”

Calvin smirked. “I’m sure it will. Just don’t wear it in bed.”

“I plan to keep it looped over the bedpost at night.”

“Whatever. Just be careful with it.”

Hobbes nodded in understanding and went into the room, closing the door.

Calvin double-checked the hallway before Mom’s shrill holler came up the stairs.

“Calvin, it’s time for your bath!” she shouted.

Calvin groaned.

“Aw, Mom! I’m not dirty!” he yelled back, heading towards the stairs to shout back down at her.

As the two of them went into a screaming-match, Calvin didn’t notice that the closet door was sliding open a bit.

The boy was in the closet, and he was watching Calvin very intently.

After Calvin had finished his bath, he decided it was time for a session of watching the television.

Coming down the stairs, Calvin suddenly became aware of another ring of salt at the base of the stairs.

“Oh for crying out... HOBBES!!” Calvin spun around, and glared at towards the top of the stairs.

Just in time to see a dark figure duck into the bathroom.

Calvin paused.

“Hobbes, is that you?” He asked, somewhat creeped out.

No reply.

Calvin stared at the open bathroom door for a moment, shrugged, and continued down to the TV.

He switched it on, and sat down on the couch.

The TV was already on the Scifi channel, and Hobbes was recording an episode of Ghost Hunters.

Calvin rolled his eyes, and picked up the remote.

He stopped the recording and changed it over to a Looney Tunes cartoon. This went on for some time, until suddenly, Dad came walking up.

“Hey, Calvin, I’m going on a walk!”

“Good for you,” Calvin replied, not looking away from the TV.

“Want to come with me?” He asked, excitedly.

“Not really.” Calvin replied.

“Too bad, come on. You need to get out once in a while,” Dad said.

“I’m going to be walking all evening tomorrow night, Dad,” Calvin groaned. “I don’t need to be going on any walks, tonight!”

A few minutes later, Calvin was walking along side his father on the road, grumbling to himself.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it, Calvin?” Dad sighed.

“Hmph!” Calvin grunted.

“I love this time of year. The trees are turning into these lovely colors it’s not so cold or hot that you can’t stand it. Aaah.”

Dad looked around him happily at the trees around him.

“Hey, look at all the colors on that tree!” Dad grinned.

Calvin casually looked up.

“YAAAUGH!!” He shouted, falling backwards in terror.

From the tree limb that Dad was pointing at, there was a man in pilgrim’s clothing hanging from it, limply, from a rope. His eyes were open and he was staring right at Calvin and Dad.

“I know! That’s how I feel!” Dad exclaimed, obviously mistaking Calvin’s reaction. “Yellow, red, orange... Isn’t it just beautiful?!”

Calvin jumped off the ground, and looked at the tree again.

The man was gone.

There was a moment of silence.

Dad looked over at Calvin.

“Well, if you’re going to be like that, fine. I won’t comment on the trees, anymore,” He said, rather offended at Calvin’s silence.

Calvin stared at his father in disbelief.

“Didn’t you see the.....” He paused, wondering if he should tell his father what he had saw. Deciding against it.

“I don’t know why I even considered telling him. This guy never notices anything,” Calvin grumbled under as his breath as the walk continued.

Seeing how he has dealt with planets nearly exploding, time travel, alien dictators and lunatic scientists and technology the human race can’t even dream of seeing for another million years, Calvin wasn’t that shaken from his encounter. It was however, everything he thought about for the rest of the walk.

Upon passing the tree, again on the way back Calvin was watching it, suspiciously. Dad rolled his eyes at Calvin weariness at the tree.

Calvin walked into the house, and hung his coat up.

Approaching the livingroom, he suddenly heard something.

He tilted his head and listened.

It was a smacking kind of kissing sound. It almost sounded like someone was drowning in their saliva. A truly disgusting sound.

Calvin looked around, trying to find the source of the noise.

“Hobbes, is that you?” He said, quietly, following the noise into the livingroom.

He looked around.

The livingroom was deserted and the noise had moved into the kitchen.

Calvin walked cautiously into the kitchen.

He looked around.

The kitchen was also empty. But there was still a sound emitting from it.

Calvin entered, looking around, fearfully.

Suddenly, the sound seemed to shift and it started coming from the livingroom again.

Calvin stopped.

He looked off towards the livingroom.

“Hobbes?” He said, so quietly, that Hobbes wouldn’t have heard even it was him.

The boy walked back into the livingroom.

As soon as Calvin entered the livingroom, the sound started coming from the laundry room, where Calvin had just been.

Calvin, now desperate, rushed towards the laundry room.

SLAM!!

Calvin screeched to a stop.

The door had suddenly opened then slammed itself hard, and the sounds stopped abruptly.

“CALVIN! DON’T SLAM THE DOOR!” Mom called from another room.

Calvin stood in the laundry room, doorway, completely stunned.

He then turned to run away, but instead ran right into Hobbes.

“HEY!!” Calvin yelled, leaping back to a defense position.

There was a tense moment before Calvin realized who he had run into.

“Oh... Hobbes. It’s just you,” Calvin sighed, wiping some sweat from his brow.

Hobbes did not look good.

He was scratching himself hard all over his neck and arms, glaring at Calvin.

“Calvin, do you know what that stupid little rat gave me?!” He growled, dangerously.

“I couldn’t imagine,” Calvin said, innocently.

“It was poison ivy!”

“Whoa!” Calvin said, trying to act surprised. “Why would he do that?”

“Because he’s a two-timing, rotten, little son of a couple of morons!”

“Uh huh,” Calvin said, rolling his eyes. “Well the rash should wear off, soon. Say, Hobbes, did you by any chance just hear something?”

“No, why?” Hobbes asked, scratching arm, hard.

“Oh, no reason, I just thought I heard someone trying to gargle their saliva and doing a very poor job of it.”

“Huh,” Hobbes said. “No, I didn’t hear anything. I would remember a sound like that.”

Calvin stared at Hobbes for a moment, then looked down at his paw.

“Hobbes. What is that?” He sighed, pointing at Hobbes’ hands.

Hobbes looked down.

“Oh, it’s a bunch of sage that I’ve tied up in a bundle.”

“Why are you carrying it around with you?” Calvin sighed.

“It’s supposed to ward off evil spirits.” Hobbes replied.

There was a short pause.

“I thought it only warded off evil spirits if you burned it,” Calvin said.

There was another pause.

“I’ll be right back,” Hobbes said, running off.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

He started towards his stairs to go up to his room.

Suddenly, Calvin felt a force run into him like a freight train.

“YIKES!” He yelped as he was thrown against the wall.

CRASH!

“CALVIN! QUIT BANGING AROUND!” Mom called.

Calvin rolled onto his back on the wall, and stared straight ahead with terror.

The young boy that he had saw earlier was standing in the dark closet doorway, staring at him, expressionlessly. Most of his face was in shadow. He tilted his head slowly and stared, transfixed at Calvin like a cat eying a mouse.

Calvin was too terrified to even move.

After a tense moment, the boy was swallowed up by the darkness of the closet and disappeared from sight.

It was then that Hobbes chose to reenter the scene, carrying the smoking bundle of sage with him, also chewing on a banana.

“Hey, Calvin,” He said, cheerfully. “Is something amiss?”

Calvin stared at Hobbes in disbelief.

“Yes, there’s something amiss!” He shouted. “Didn’t you see the boy standing in the closet?!”

Hobbes looked over at the closet.

“Calvin, the closet isn’t even open.” He said, turning back to his companion.

Calvin looked back at the closet. His mouth suddenly went dry.

The door was now closed.

MTM was sleeping soundly on Calvin’s desk. Suddenly, the door burst open and Calvin came running in.

“MTM! Wake up! Wake up! We have a urgent matter on our hands!” He yelled, frantically.

“Huh, wha...?” MTM yawned. “Oh, did you wake up, Calvin?”

“Never mind that!” Calvin groaned. “We have an emergency on our hands!”

“Sure, what else is new in the household? Have we figured out how to talk with people on the telly, yet?”

“MTM I need you to do a scan for all living organisms in this house!!” Calvin yelled as Hobbes walked in.

“Oh come now, you want me to count the dust mites and amoebas?” MTM croaked.

“No! I mean the organisms that we can see!” Calvin yelled, impatiently.

“Very well. Let me do a quick head count.” MTM said. There was a pause. “Seven.”

There was a pause.

“Seven?” Calvin demanded.

“Yes, seven.” MTM said. “You, Hobbes, your parents and about three spiders. There’s actually more than that, but I stopped counting them there, because I thought you wouldn’t be interested.”

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

“OK, I want you to do a little more complicated of a scan, MTM,” Calvin said. “Scan for any kind of living energy besides the spiders”

“Very well.” MTM said. There was another pause.

“Twelve thousand sixteen hundred fourteen” He said, finally.

Silence meet these words.

“Twelve thousand... What?” Hobbes asked.

“Are you sure you didn’t miscount, MTM?” Calvin asked.

“Right, I somehow screwed up and said twelve thousand sixteen hundred fourteen instead of four. Makes perfect sense, Calvin,” MTM sighed.

“Almost thirteen thousand...” Hobbes started. “What does that supposed to mean?”

Calvin didn’t reply for a moment. He was staring off into space, quietly. Finally, he spoke.

“Hobbes, most people have the irrational fear that they’re being watched. But they’re wrong. Because it’s not irrational.”

There was a pause.

“What?” Hobbes asked, finally.

Calvin glared at him.

“You really need to start listening,” He said, bitterly. “Come on, we’re going to Sherman.”

“Why?!” Hobbes demanded. “You’re not even telling me what’s wrong!!”

“I think it’s truly amazing that you haven’t figure it out, yet, Hobbes,” Calvin sighed, picking the MTM up. “There are people wandering around my house that only I can see, There are sounds that only I can hear, I’ve just been electrocuted by the MTM, and Halloween is coming up. It’s not that hard to figure out! MTM, to Sherman’s!”

“Certainly, master,” MTM said.

“Don’t you give me that! You’re the cause of all this!” Calvin snapped.

BRA-ZAAP!!

There was a blast of electricity and Calvin and Hobbes vanished.

“You’re seeing ghosts?” Sherman said, skeptically, sitting on the chair was far to large for him in his tiny lab coat. Beside him on the couch was Andy.

“Yes,” Calvin said, simply, who was sitting in front of Andy and Sherman in a big lounge chair with Hobbes.

There was a long moment of silence as Sherman looked back and forth between Calvin and Hobbes.

“Ya know, Calvin, I really did picture you as the sensible one.” Sherman said.

Calvin blinked.

“You don’t believe me?” He asked.

“No, I don’t believe you!” Sherman groaned. “You’re living in a house with a lunatic who’s terrified of ghosts as it is, so how could some of it not rub off on you?”

Calvin looked up above the chair Sherman was sitting in.

There was a man standing over the chair Sherman was in. He was holding a bandaged and bloody arm to his chest, and he was breathing rather hard, staring at Calvin blankly.

“What are you looking at?” Sherman demanded, looking over his chair.

“Hmmm? Oh just the insane ghost that’s about to bite your head off.” Calvin said.

Hobbes pulled out a salt shaker out of his pocket.

Sherman rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll take a look at you. Come down to the lab,” He sighed.

“Certainly.” Calvin grinned, standing up.

The man watched them expressionlessly as they all stood up and walked down into Sherman’s lab.

Numbers flashed across the computer screen in Sherman’s lab, as the tiny hamster typed into his keyboard. Calvin was sitting next to Sherman with several wires running from the computer to his head. Hobbes was standing next to Calvin with a ring of salt around himself and Andy was standing off to the side, waiting for Sherman to order him to do something.

“Andy go get that data print out!” Sherman ordered, as he clicked on PRINT.

“Sure,” Andy sighed, walking up to the printer, as it took in a piece of paper.

The boy took the paper and looked over it.

“What are the numbers?” Sherman asked.

“Sherman, the whole paper is just numbers.” Andy sighed.

“No, I’m talking about the numbers for Calvin’s biological code!” Sherman said, impatiently.

“Well what are those supposed to be?” Andy demanded.

Sherman’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. Clearly he thought that this was common sense.

“Just list to me the ones every two numbers,” He sighed, turning back to the computer.

Andy sighed, and went to work.

As Sherman began typing the numbers, Calvin began to grow bored. He looked around the lab for something to entertain himself with. He happened to glance at the base of the stairs.

He throat went dry.

It was the boy, again. He was watching Calvin intently, with his wide soulless eyes.

“HEY!!” Calvin screamed, jabbing his finger at the boy. “How dare you interrupt this very important event!”

Hobbes, Sherman and Andy turned and stared at Calvin. From what they could see, he was screaming at the empty staircase.

“I order you to stop following me everywhere! What the heck is wrong with you?! Don’t you have anything better to do?!”

The boy remained as still as a statue staring at Calvin.

“Oh, so you have nothing to say about it, huh?” Calvin demanded.

“Calvin,” Sherman started.

“There’s over six billion people on this planet and you pick me to bother! Did I owe you money in a previous life or something?! I mean come on!”

“Calvin,”

“And what’s more you can tell you’re little friends to stop bothering me as well! You may not have anything better to do with your time, but I’m a very busy man!”

“Calvin!”

“Hey! Now what are you doing? Don’t you walk away! I’m talking to you! You get back here this very instant!”

The boy had suddenly turned around was heading up the stairs out of the lab.

“Don’t you ignore me! I went through a lot of trouble to get your attention and you better darn well.....” WHACK!!! “OUCH!!”

Calvin spun around to see that Andy had hit him upside the head.

“Thank you, Andy,” Sherman said, politely.

“Oh, it was no problem,” Andy nodded.

“What did you do that, for?!” Calvin demanded.

“Well mostly because we just wanted you to shut up,” Andy said.

Hobbes and Sherman nodded in unison.

“Oh, so that’s the kind of friends I have, huh?” Calvin sniffed.

Sherman rolled his eyes and went back to the keyboard.

Minutes passed without an event. Finally Sherman came up with some results.

“Calvin, I don’t suppose you know what your blood type is, do you?” Sherman asked, staring at the screen.

“Of course I don’t. What the heck am I supposed to do with that knowledge?” Calvin questioned.

“I would suppose not.” Sherman said, rolling his eyes. “When did you start noticing the ghosts around you?”

“Right after I woke up from the electrical shock that the MTM gave me.” Calvin said. “There was a boy...”

“Yeah, I don’t really care,” Sherman said, casually. “What caused the MTM to electrocute you?”

“I was trying to pick up some signals from Annkor.” Calvin said.

There was a moment of silence.

“OK, ignoring the desire to know why the heck you’d want to do that to begin with, how did that end up electrocuting you?” Sherman asked.

“The MTM was using the interdimensional energy from his hypercube to make the receiving signal stronger.” Calvin replied.

There was another pause.

“I don’t suppose you’ve made a connection, yet.” Sherman sighed.

“Well, what’s wrong with him?” Hobbes asked, before Calvin could begin yelling, again.

“The MTM shocked Calvin with interdimensional energy.” Sherman said. “Which in turn adjusted Calvin’s brain to start viewing the dimension that’s right on top of ours. Which just happens to be ghosts.”

“Oh, cool!” Calvin grinned. “So I’m psychic?!”

“No,” Sherman said. “It means you’re teetering between one dimension and the other.”

“So I’m dead?”

“No, you’re not dead!” Sherman said, exasperated. “You’re brain has absorbed the energy from the nearest dimension to this one. The ghost dimension. Do you get it, now?!”

There was a pause.

“Sort of.” Calvin shrugged. “So what do I do about it?”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Sherman said. “You’re just going to have to deal with it until it until it wears off in a couple days.”

“Oh, great,” Calvin sighed.

“What, we’ve already established that ghosts can hurt you,” Sherman said, shrugging. “It’s no big deal, really.”

“Well, aside from the fact that one threw me against the wall, earlier, how the heck am I supposed to tell the dead people aside from the living?”

“Oh I don’t maybe the dead people are the ones with the heavy black eye liner, colorless skin, missing limbs, and the big bloody gashes on their bodies.” Andy said.

“OK, that’s just fine and dandy, but what about goths?” Calvin asked. “How do I tell if those little freaks are real or not?”

Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin. In the four years they had known him, neither one had ever known Calvin to have had a problem with ever talking to or even seeing a gothic person. They didn’t even think they’re were goths in his school.

“Get out of here, Calvin,” Sherman said, near exhaustion from explaining things to him.

“But what about...”

“OUT!!!” Sherman ordered, pointing at the door.

“Fine! We’re going!” Calvin yelled, getting off his chair. “Come on, Hobbes, we’re obviously not welcome here, anymore.”

Sherman’s head fell to his chest.

Calvin turned towards the doorway.

His eyes burst open in shock.

There was the boy, again. This time he was standing over by Sherman’s work desk where there were test tubes standing up.

The boy looked at Calvin and then at the test tubes.

He held up his death white hand, and shoved over the first test tube.

This tube in turn hit the second, which hit the third, which created a domino effect, causing all of the test tubes to fall over.

“HEY!!” Sherman yelled, horrified.

He leaped from the chair, and onto the desk, grabbing the test tubes as they fell.

By some miracle, Sherman managed to grab them all before anything spilled, and set them back up on the stand.

“What the heck was that?!” Sherman gasped, desperately, looking around for the cause of the disturbance.

The boy stared at Sherman blankly for a moment, then turned and disappeared into the shadows.

Calvin opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped.

He looked up at Hobbes.

He was still standing in his little salt ring.

Not wanting to freak Hobbes out even more by telling them that ghosts could touch solid objects, Calvin decided to say nothing.

He and Hobbes said their goodbyes to Andy and Sherman, and left their house.

“Well, Hobbes, what do you suggest I do?” Calvin said, absent mindedly, as they left the house.

Hobbes thought about it for a moment.

“I suggest you start eating more garlic and carrying salt shakers and sage bundles around with you.” He said, finally.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind, Hobbes,” Calvin said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, the good news is that now that you can see ghosts, you can tell me when they’re getting ready to attack me and I can take defensive measures!”

“Yeah.... that’s not going to happen, Hobbes,” Calvin said.

“Oh, really, why?” Hobbes demanded.

“Because I have never heard of a ghost physically attacking someone for no good reason in real life,” Calvin replied.

At that moment, a woman with a big bag of groceries in each hand appeared around a corner, walking towards Calvin and Hobbes.

For a moment, Calvin took no notice of her. Then he caught more movement from the corner of his eye.

He looked up to see a tall man in a civil war uniform with messy black hair limping towards her. His eyes were wide and expressionless and he missing his left arm.

The man walked up a few feet in front of Calvin and Hobbes.

He threw a glance at Calvin, then laid down on the sidewalk in front of the woman.

Calvin stared at him, trying to figure out what he was doing.

Then the woman carrying the groceries reached him.

“WHOA!!!”

CRASH!!!

Calvin and Hobbes came to a dead stop, and helplessly watched as the woman tripped over the man, dropping all of the groceries in the process.

Then, without missing a beat, the man stood back up, and disappeared behind a corner.

There was a moment of silence as Calvin and Hobbes stared at the woman trying to regain herself and locate what she had tripped on.

“Well,” Hobbes finally said. “That was weird. Now, where were we?”

Calvin rolled his eyes.

“I checked up in the attic, and there is nothing there that remotely smells like garlic!” Dad said, climbing down the stairs into the living room. “Did you look in the sink?”

“Yes,” Mom said, who was checking under the couch. “There’s nothing in the pipes. Do you think it might be in the air ducts?”

“I don’t know,” Dad said, looking at the vent below the ceiling. “I’ll get the screwdriver and check.”

Dad rushed into the kitchen.

There was a pause.

“Honey, did you spill some salt on the floor?” Dad called.

Mom sighed.

“So, Hobbes, I think I have this whole ghost thing figured out.” Calvin said as he and Hobbes walked down the sidewalk. “Have you ever had something happen to you and you just couldn’t explain it?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Hobbes nodded. “Lots of times. Like once I was...”

“That’s great, Hobbes,” Calvin cut him off. “Anyway, my theory is that whenever something like that happens, it must be a ghost at work. I’m guessing their envious of the living, so they’re making life hard for us.”

“Huh,” Hobbes said.

“I’ve also noticed that some people seem to have a particular ghost following them.” Calvin said, distantly. “It’s quite interesting.”

“Do I have a ghost following me?” Hobbes asked.

Calvin looked over his shoulder.

“No, Hobbes, there aren’t any ghosts following you,”

There was a moment of silence. Socrates’ old two hundred year old mansion came into view.

“Do you think Socrates has any ghosts?” Hobbes asked.

“Now there’s a question that’s worth investigating!” Calvin grinned. “Let’s go see!”

Calvin and Hobbes then turned towards the mansion and made a B-line for it.

Socrates was, as usual, in the middle of prank constructing. He had a tall pile of blueprints on his bed each one conveying a brand new prank. How he manages to come up with a radically different prank each time he brainstorms I couldn’t imagine.

Socrates was doodling on one of the blueprints on his bed, when the doorbell rang.

The tiger looked up, looking rather offended that someone would disturb him.

“Who could that be?” He wondered to himself, jumping off his bed, and trudging over to the elevator in the hallway

As he closed the door behind him, Socrates’ bedroom window suddenly opened by itself.

Socrates walked from his elevator over to the front door.

“Jambo!” he yelled, before he even knew who it was, swinging the front door open.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at Socrates blankly for a moment.

“Hello, Socrates,” Hobbes said, slowly. “Mind if we came in?”

“Of course not, my fellow living organisms!” Socrates grinned, leaping from the way, to let Calvin and Hobbes in.

“Thanks,” Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.

“So, what’s on your mind, my friends?!” Socrates asked, grinning like a lunatic, evidently over thrilled to have a visitor.

“Oh, we just found out Calvin can see ghosts, now,” Hobbes said.

“That’s nice,” Socrates grinned. “Hey do you want a raspberry smoothie? I just got a big gallon of it made up!”

“Oh, I suppose,” Hobbes shrugged, causing Socrates to wheel around and race into the kitchen“Calvin, you want a smoothie?”

The tiger looked around, to realize that Calvin had not come into the house with him. He was still standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was hanging open.

“Calvin, you coming in?” Hobbes asked.

Calvin shook his head, slowly, his eyes were locked at the top of the stairs.

Hobbes looked up at the top the stairs.

“What’s wrong, Calvin?” Hobbes asked, starting to get a little nervous. “Is there something up there?”

Calvin broke his concentration on the stairs long enough to give Hobbes a disbelieving glare.

“No, I’m just practicing my petrified stare for the heck of it. OF COURSE THERE’S SOMETHING UP THERE YOU HAIRBALL!!!”

Hobbes rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Alright, fine, what do you see?” Hobbes asked, trying to keep from panicking. Correction. He was trying to keep from just spontaneously disappearing in his blind panic.

Calvin turned his attention away from Hobbes and back to what he was looking at: The entire house was crawling with ghosts.

There was a short man in an old 18th century suit walking down the stairs towards him with a missing arm. There was an African-American woman with blood trickling down her face staggering into the kitchen after Socrates. There was an elderly man in a wheelchair missing his left eye rolling into the livingroom. And so on.

Hobbes stared at Calvin, blankly.

“Well, it can’t be that bad if you said ghosts can’t hurt you, right?” He said, rather nervously.

Calvin didn’t answer. He had become to involved in watching ghosts appear out of nowhere and stagger out of sight, again.

“Socrates has some smoothies made up, you want some?” Hobbes asked, backing away.

“You kidding?” Calvin said, rolling his eyes. “I’m not coming into this house! There’s disgusting bodily fluid gushing freaks in there!”

“How many do you see?” Hobbes asked, looking around the house, now near panic.

“I don’t know, about seventeen.” Calvin said, trying to make a quick estimate of how much he saw.

Hobbes looked at the top of the stairs where Calvin was squinting.

“Do any of them look dangerous?” He asked.

“Of course they all look dangerous. They all look like they want to tear your brain out dip it in frying sauce and eat it!” Calvin said, clearly now trying to scare Hobbes.

“Smoothies are ready!” Socrates announced walking through one of the ghosts back into the room holding three cups of smoothie.

“YIKES!!” Hobbes screamed, bolting out of the house.

Calvin and Socrates watched him rocketing towards his house.

“What’s his problem?” Socrates asked.

“Couldn’t imagine.” Calvin said, turning back to the tiger. “Can I have his smoothie?”

That night, things didn’t get any better.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Calvin,” Mom said, kissing him on the cheek and standing up. Heaven knows what Calvin did with all that garlic but he somehow managed to get rid of it all.

“Mom, would you check the bed for monsters before you go?” Calvin asked.

Mom got onto her knees and checked the underside of Calvin’s bed.

“Nope. No monsters. You’re safe.” She said, standing back up.

“Wait a minute,” Calvin said. “Turn the light off,”

Mom rolled her eyes and switched Calvin’s bedside lamp off.

“Now check!”

Mom got onto her knees and checked under the bed. She couldn’t see anything in the dark, but she knew perfectly well that there was nothing under there.

“Nope, there’s still no monsters,” Mom said, standing back up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good then, see you tomorrow.” Calvin nodded, professionally, pulling the covers up to his head.

Mom rolled her eyes and left.

The lights went out and Calvin’s room was plunged into darkness.

“‘night Hobbes,”

“Mmmnight..” Hobbes grumbled clearly already half asleep.

Calvin closed his eyes.

CREEEEAAK!!!

Calvin’s eyes burst back open.

He looked around his room. He didn’t see anything of any particular interest.

After a quick inspection, Calvin leaned back and closed his eyes again.

There was a pause.

CREAAAAAK!!!

Calvin’s eyelids flew open.

This time, he noticed his closet door on the other side of the room. It was slightly ajar, and the inside of pitch black.

Calvin stared at it for a second. Then, he turned and reached for his flashlight on the desk.

He switched it on, and looked back. The closet door was now wide open and on of Calvin’s shirts had been knocked off its hanger and was falling to the floor.

Calvin nearly had a heart attack.

He fumbled with his flashlight trying to find what had just walked out of his closet, but his bedroom was empty.

Needless to say, Calvin didn’t get much sleep that night.

The next day was Halloween and everyone was preparing for it. Mostly it was people running to the stores to get more candy for the approaching raid on their houses. All over the neighborhood kids were excitedly preparing for their busy night.

However, things were not getting better for Calvin or Hobbes.

DING DONG

Andy walked up to his door and opened it. Behind it was an odd sight.

Calvin was wearing a straw Panama hat with a tan jacket on. Underneath that he had an orange sweater with question marks on it. He was wearing brown trousers and holding a black umbrella that had a red handle in the shape of a question mark.

Hobbes on the other hand was wearing a brown coat with a red tie and a patterned vest. His most distinguishing feature at the moment was a long multi-colored scarf that was dragging behind him.

Andy stared at them for a moment.

“Ready for trick or treating?” he asked, dully.

“You betchya,” Calvin said, tapping his staff on the ground twice on ‘betchya’.

“Alright. I’ll get my Sherman and costume and then we’ll head over to Socrates’.” Andy said, turning away.

Andy walked towards Sherman’s lab.

Suddenly, something caught Calvin’s eye to Andy’s left. It was another ghost, stepping out of the shadows.

“ANDY! STOP!!!” Calvin screamed, holding a hand up.

Andy froze.

“What?! What?!” He yelled, petrified.

“Andy, I don’t want to alarm you, but you are being targeted by a life envious ghost!” Calvin said walking slowly into the house.

“WHAT?!?” Andy screamed, starting to run off.

“Hey wait a minute!” Calvin said, grabbing Andy’s shirt. “I said I didn’t want to alarm you!”

Andy glared at him.

“Just hold still a moment and I’ll get rid of him.

“Wha... What’s he... what’s he doing?!” Andy asked, to afraid to move.

Calvin squinted a little bit.

This ghost was rather tall, seemed to be balding. He looked like he was from quite recent times, as his clothes seemed to be completely normal. There was a big dark stain on his shirt and he glaring darkly at Andy. His fingers twitching involuntarily.

“He’s just sitting there. Maliciously!” He said.

“Well, what do I do?” Andy asked.

“Don’t move!” Calvin ordered. “Ghosts can sense movement!”

Andy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head.

This whole time Hobbes was fumbling around with his huge pockets, and finally fished out a bundle of sage.

“Calvin! I found a sage bush!” He yelled, excitedly.

“Not now, Hobbes, I’m working.” Calvin waved Hobbes off.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and ran into the kitchen.

“What does he look like?” Andy asked.

Calvin studied the ghost in front of him, who was clearly trying to limp over to Andy, but having a hard time doing so.

“Uuuh... He’s tall.” Calvin said. “Kinda tan.”

There was a pause.

“How can a ghost be tanned, Calvin?” Andy asked, finally.

“I don’t know,” Calvin spat. “He just is.” He turned back to the wall.

“Who are you and want do you want?” He demanded. “What are you doing at this boy’s....? Hey! Now you cut that out! This is really nonprofessional of you. What are you...”

Suddenly, something seemed to push Calvin to the floor and walk towards Andy.

“AAUGH!!” Andy screamed rushing off in the opposite direction.

Calvin jumped back to his feet. “Now that was just downright rude! I order you to come....!”

Suddenly, without warning, the ghost made a detour and disappeared in the shadows.

Then Hobbes arrived, running back into the room with his sage bundle trailing off some smoke.

“What I miss?” He asked, looking around the room.

Calvin glared at him.

“Hobbes, do you have any idea how ridiculous you look with that sage bundle?” He demanded. “You look like an African Witch Doctor.”

Hobbes looked at the bundle in his hand.

“You’re just jealous, because you don’t have any protection against them.” He said stiffly.

Calvin stared at Hobbes for a long moment trying to think of a response for that statement.

“Alright then gang!” Socrates announced to everyone, later on outside of his mansion. “I’ve mapped out our trick-or-treating route!”

Everyone gathered to hear Socrates’ plan.

Andy was now wearing a cream-colored jacket with red lining with a white V-neck cricketing shirt underneath. He was wearing striped trousers and had a stick of celery on the right side of his coat.

Sherman was the most sophisticatedly dressed of them, wearing a black velvet coat with a white ruffled shirt underneath and a purple bow tie. He also had cufflinks.

Socrates on the other hand was wearing a patchwork multi-colored coat that had brightly clashing garish colors. He was wearing a white shirt underneath along with a light blue polka dotted tie. He was also wearing bright yellow trousers with black pinstripes.

“OK, so what we’ll do is we’ll hit up this first row of houses that I hope to bring down in half an hour.” Socrates said, pointing to a map on the ground. “Then we’ll swarm out and take these houses here. We’ll split into groups of two and take down each house on both sides of the road. Then we’ll move out and take down Main Street. After some mild calculations, I figure this will take us about two and half hours if we try to only spend 90 seconds at each house.”

“Socrates your plan is a little less complicated then it was last year,” Andy said, adjusting his celery.

“Yeah, I know,” Socrates sighed. “For some reason, my bedroom window was opened and all of my original plans blew out the window and into the ditch.”

“Well what did you leave your window open for?” Calvin demanded.

“I didn’t!” Socrates protested. “I always keep that window closed! I don’t know how it opened!”

“Let’s forget that,” Hobbes said, rolling his eyes. “This actually seems like good plan. If we can manage to spend as little time as possible at each house, we’ll have time to get home and sort through all the candy.”

“Sounds good!” Andy said. “Let’s move out!”

And with that, everyone turned and started towards the first house.

“You know what I think is weird,” Calvin said, as they approached the front door.

“What?” Andy asked.

“How is it that parents feel perfectly comfortable with sending their kids out to collect candy from strangers?” Calvin asked.

“Well, because they...” Andy stopped. There was a silence. “I don’t know...” He said, finally.

Socrates rolled his eyes and rang the doorbell.

DING DONG!!

There was a short pause and then the door opened. There was a woman behind the door holding a bowl of Willy Wonka candy.

“Trick-or-treat!” Everyone said in unison holding their bags up.

“Hey kids!” She said, holding the bowl out for everyone.

Everyone very quickly took a bar from the bowl and added it to their bag.

“Ah, look at that!” The woman said, just noticing the hamster on Andy’s shoulder. “Isn’t he cute?”

Sherman’s head fell to his chest.

As they were walking away from the house, Calvin looked around, quietly.

“You know what?” He said as they walked up the next house.

“What?” Hobbes replied.

“I haven’t seen a ghost for a little over an hour, now.” Calvin said, reaching for the doorbell. “You think maybe it’s worn off?”

DING DONG!!!

“Perhaps,” Sherman said. “I was...”

Suddenly the door sprang open and a man jumped out at the gang. He was wearing a werewolf mask.

“RAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!” He yelled, holding his hands up as claws.

There was a pause.

Everyone stared at the man for a long moment.

“I seem to recall you did this last year,” Andy said.

“I think that’s even the same mask,” Socrates whispered.

“OK, fine,” The man sighed, taking his mask off. “I’ll go get your candy.”

And with that the man trudged back into the house, grumbling to himself.

“Well, that’s probably about as scary as this is going to get, don’t you think, Ho...” Calvin turned to face Hobbes, who was in the back of the group. He had fainted.

Calvin rolled his eyes and turned back to the group.

Suddenly, another man with messy red hair walked up to the front door. He stared at the kids, quietly.

Calvin watched him for a moment, and then decided to take action.

“Trick-or-treat!” He grinned, holding the bag up.

“Oh, just relax, Calvin,” Socrates said. “The man’s coming, and we still have thirty five seconds of time left to spend here.”

Calvin glared at Socrates.

“No I’m talking to this guy,” He said, pointing at the doorway.

There was a pause.

“Who?” Andy asked.

“Him!” Calvin said, turning back to the doorway.

The man was gone.

Instead the other guy ran up, holding a bowl of random candy pieces.

“Alright, kids, here’s your actual...”

Suddenly, and for no reason at all, the carpet the man was walking on pushed itself up, causing a small ridge in it.

“WHOAA!!!” CRASH!!!

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched helplessly as their candy, their precious candy, all spilt to the guy’s floor.

“Ow! Dang it!” He groaned, laying face down on the ground.

“IS THE CANDY OK?!?” Socrates wailed, jumping into the house, and examining any piece of candy that he could grab off the floor.

“Hey!” a voice called from on the street.

Calvin, Andy, and Sherman looked around.

There a small boy dressed as a dinosaur, maybe about twelve looking into his bag.

“Someone cut a hole into my bag!” He groaned.

There was a pause as the gang watched the unfolding horror.

“Darn,” Andy said.

As the gang continued trick-or-treating things got worse.

Ghosts were basically swarming all around Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman and they were pretty much keeping them from getting any candy. People were losing their candy, tripping over rugs, terrible household disasters relating to material objects were occurring and so on.

A little later the gang stopped to count what they managed to get.

“I got a Willy Wonka bar.” Calvin said.

“I got a Willy Wonka bar.” Hobbes said.

“I got a Willy Wonka bar.” Andy said.

“I got a....” Socrates paused for a moment. “Oh, look! I got a Willy Wonka bar!”

“This is ridiculous!” Calvin groaned. “We should be getting way more than this! But with all of these stupid ghosts running around, we can’t get more than one house hit up!!”

“Well, looking on the bright side, we’ll get a big head start on losing all our holiday weight.” Socrates commented, now munching on his Willy Wonka bar.

“I really can not believe this!” Calvin groaned. “This bag should be at least half full by now but we’ve got these idiotic....”

Suddenly Calvin stopped. His eyes locked on the house next door to where they now stood.

Everyone looked around. Clearly something was going on, because it takes quite a lot for Calvin to just shut up so abruptly.

From what everyone else could see, Calvin was staring into an empty lawn.

From what Calvin could see, the small boy that had been haunting him for the past two days was now standing in said lawn staring at him expressionlessly.

“Andy, there’s a boy standing in that lawn there,” Calvin said, turning to his friend.

Andy squinted at the lawn.

“I don’t see anything,” He said.

Calvin glared at him. “Well, then I guess there’s nothing there!” He spat, angrily.

Andy rolled his eyes.

Calvin whipped back to the boy.

“And as for you, I’ve quite enough of your little antics! So if you don’t bug off I’m gonna twist you into a pretzel and throw you in a garbage can!”

Everyone rolled their eyes.

“And what’s more I have to get my candy, and your little buddies are ruining it and Hobbes, what the heck are you doing?”

Hobbes had stepped in front of Calvin and was waving a burning stick of sage at the ghost.

“I’m warding the ghost off,” Hobbes said.

“Hobbes, that’s the stupidest thing you’ve done since the last stupid thing you did. A burning plant is not going to make a ghost leave! What do you expect them to do? Sniff the air and go ‘I smell smoke! It’s every man for himself! I gotta get out of here!!’ I mean give me a break!”

“I saw this on the Discovery Channel! It’s supposed to ward off ghosts!”

“Well, I hate to shatter your quaint little theory Hobbes, but the ghost is still there!”

Hobbes paused. He flicked some ashes off the tip of the sage into the spot where the ghost boy was.

“Is he still there?” Hobbes asked.

Calvin nodded.

Andy, Sherman and Socrates rolled their eyes.

Suddenly, the boy made the first real movement that Calvin saw him doing that day. His head tilted, ever so slightly.

Then, suddenly, his head fell backwards, causing his neck to snap loudly.

“Gah!” Calvin yelled, taking a step back. “He’s getting weird on me, now!”

Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

There was another pause as the boy stared up at the sky, then, he... just faded away into the darkness.

There was a pause.

Calvin blinked.

“Huh,” He said, finally.

“What?” Socrates asked. “What happened?”

“He just vanished.” Calvin said. “He stretched a kink out of his neck, and then he disappeared.”

There was another pause.

“That’s it?” Andy asked.

“Yep,” Calvin said. “That’s it. He’s just gone.”

“Huh. Wonder who he was,” Sherman wondered.

“Ah, who cares?” Calvin shrugged. “What I want to know, now, is why he left, so dramatically.”

All eyes went to Hobbes. He was still holding the sage with him.

“Hobbes, you do know you look like a lunatic with that thing, don’t you?” Socrates asked.

“I’ve been told so, yes,” Hobbes nodded.

“Do you have any more?” Andy asked.

“Oh, sure, I have a few more sticks in my pocket.” Hobbes said.

There was a pause.

“Why?” He asked.

DING DONG!!!

“Whoop, there’re some trick-or-treaters!” A young man said, standing up from a couch in his living room.

“Don’t try to scare them like you did, last year.” His wife called from the kitchen. “They wouldn’t stop laughing at you.

The man rolled his eyes, and opened the door.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were behind it. They were all now carrying a burning stick of sage with them. Andy had replaced his celery with his sage on the costume.

“TRICK-OR-TREAT!” They all said in unison, holding their bags up.

“Hey kids. What’s with the sage?” He said, getting a bowl of candy out.

“What? Oh, we’re driving off all of the insane raging blood thirsty hell beasts, bent on devouring our brains and using our spinal cords as tooth picks,” Calvin said.

Silence filled the land.

“Okay,” He said, rather quietly. “Say, you know kids, I haven’t had barely anybody come by my house since Halloween started, and I have all this candy I need to get rid of, before the night is over. You don’t think your parents would mind if I just split it up and gave it all to you?”

Calvin and Andy’s eyes bugged out and their mouths watered as they saw all the different kinds of candy he had with him at the moment.

“Oh, no, they wouldn’t mind,” Andy said, a lot calmer compared to what his facial expression was doing.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t care at all, really.” Calvin said, equally calm, nodding.

“Great!” The man grinned, getting his big bowl, and pouring it evenly into Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates’ bags.

“Thanks kids! You really saved me, here!” He grinned. “By the way, that’s a cute hamster!”

Sherman glared at him.

As soon as the man closed the door behind him, the celebration started.

“We’ve struck the mother load!!” Calvin shouted, digging through all the candy he had.

“We’ve collected enough candy at this house to account for seven blocks of houses!” Socrates cheered, also looking through his bag.

“This is wonderful! So what time is it?” Andy asked.

Hobbes checked his watch.

“It’s about ten minutes to ten,” He said. “We better head on back to the house, now.”

“Great, we can begin our accounting of the current supply.” Calvin grinned.

“Sounds good!” Sherman nodded.

And with that, the gang set a course out for Calvin’s house, Hobbes leaving behind a trail of salt.

That night, Hobbes was up on the roof, still wearing his costume. He was setting fire to the last of his stash of sage. He’d put it all in a black cauldron, and took a lighter to it. He stood back and watched it burn. Then he took out his salt shaker and started to go around the pot, sprinkling a ring of salt to keep the ghosts from getting rid of the burning pot.

Nodding in satisfaction, Hobbes slid down the shingles and in through the bedroom window. He landed on his side of the bed, and promptly began to remove his costume. He unwound the incredibly long scarf.

Calvin entered the room in his normal clothes, but he was still wearing the straw hat and carrying the umbrella like a cane.

Hobbes stared at him as he finished unwinding the scarf and began folding it up for storage. “You love those things too much. You know that, right?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

Calvin stuck his tongue out at him. “Scoff if you will, but I think they give me a more intimidating look,” he retorted.

“I’m sorry, but the question mark makes you look like the Riddler.”

Calvin got his shoes off and then hung the hat and umbrella off the side of his dresser. He opened the bottom drawer and climbed inside, shutting it. Going up, each drawer pushed out a little before the top one opened and Calvin emerged in his purple polka-dotted pajamas and jumped onto the bed.

Hobbes passed him the scarf, which Calvin tossed neatly onto the top of the dresser.

“Well, Hobbes, despite the mockery you faced, I have to say, your paranoia saved the day,” he said, climbing under the covers. “You’ve warded all the ghosts off from us.”

“Yeah,” Hobbes agreed, leaning against the window. “I somehow feel that the lesson should’ve been that paranoia shouldn’t get the best of us.”

“Well, that’s us right there, Hobbes, me ol’ buddy,” Calvin grinned. “We don’t play by the rules!”

“True enough. We avoid the old clichés, me ol’ partner in crime.”

“Correct-a-mundo!”

There was a pause.

“If I ever say that again, whack upside the head, will ya?”

“Sure thing.”

“Come on. I’m beat. My sugar rush is wearing off,” Calvin said, patting the space next to him.

“Mine too.”

Hobbes got under the sheets and snuggled up into his pillow.

“Night, Hobbes.”

“Night.”

Calvin turned the lamp off and snuggled into his own pillow. Then he felt himself beginning to drift off.

But then he saw someone in his blurred field of vision. He could see the visage of a man with broken glasses and a graying mustache and a comb over. He waved at Calvin before fading away.

A small smile crept across Calvin face as he finally relaxed and fell asleep.

The End

Pamela Segal Adlon Calvin
Tom Hanks Hobbes
Ryan Stiles Socrates
Norman Lovett MTM
Colin Mochrie Sherman
Andrew Lawrence Andy
Jennifer Love Hewitt Mom
Bill Murray Dad
Dee Bradley Baker / Tom Kenny Additional voice work

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