Fireworks

It was a nice summer day and Scrooge McDuck had just gotten off work. He was sitting around in the living room with his nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie. It was nearly dinnertime.

“How’s your day been, lads?” he asked.

“It’s been okay,” said Huey. “We’ve played marbles, baseball, video games…”

“Why don’t you do anything productive?”

“That IS productive!” the boy insisted and then added, “What is productive, Uncle Scrooge?”

“Doing something that’s getting something done. Something important. Like homework…”

“It’s summer!” Louie pointed out.

“Well, you could help Mrs. Beakley around the house.”

“Oh, she doesn’t need any help…” Dewey said.

“Lads, cleaning a 47 room mansion, cooking for 8 people, and watching after you kids is hard work!”

“Well…”

Just then, they heard a big bang from outside.

“Oh...Is it the 4th of July already?” Scrooge asked.

“I don’t think so…” Huey trailed off.

Louie ran over to the window and looked out. “Um…Uncle Scrooge…I don’t think that’s fireworks…”

“Then what—?”

But before he could finish his sentence, the front door burst open and a familiar voice boomed loudly, “SCROOGE MCDUCK!”

Scrooge turned very white and gulped. “Uh-oh…”

“What is it, Uncle Scrooge?” Louie asked, alarmed.

“It is Glittering Goldie!”

“Gee whiz!” Huey exclaimed. “Your old girlfriend?!”

“Uh…Aye…” Scrooge looked like he might throw up.

Goldie then barged in the living room. “You’re darn right I’m his old girlfriend! And this old girlfriend is about to whoop your uncle’s feathery butt! You yahoos better skedaddle! This could get ugly!”

“Uh…” the lads just froze there.

“SCRAM you little RATS!” Goldie threatened.

The “rats” scrammed and Scrooge said, “There’s no reason for you to talk to me nephews like that!”

“And there’s no reason for you to lay eyes on another woman! What do you have to say for yourself, SCROOGE MCDUCK?”

“I…I…”

“Spit it out, you varmint!”

“I’m… sorry?”

“You’re sorry, huh?”

“Aye…”

“HOW sorry?”

“REALLY sorry?”

“Sorry enough to ditch her and ask me on a date for a change?”

“Uh…”
“WELL?” she was tapping he foot impatiently. “I’m waiting, SCROOGE…I’ve certainly done a lot of that…” she muttered.

“I cannot just ‘ditch’ her. I’m married to her.”

“MARRIED to her?! When was the wedding? And why was I not invited?”

“Well, the last time you were invited to a wedding, you came and ruined it and nearly killed me.”

“And you deserved it. WHEN was the wedding?”

“Well, it was a small wedding…Last week…”

“Hm…Where did meet this woman?”

“Well…I’ve known her for quite some time actually…”

“Really now? WHO is it, exactly?”

“Oh? You don’t know?”

“No. I just knew you’d found a new girlfriend and by the time I get over her, you’ve went and married her! News doesn’t get to the Klondike very fast…”

“Well, it does still use the Pony Express.”

“SHUT UP. Now WHO is this little GEM of yours?”

“Magica de Spell.”

“WHAT!” Goldie exploded. “SCROOGE MCDUCK. I thought I knew you better than that. To think you would fall for one of your worst enemies! That witch only wants your dime!”

“Not anymore…” Scrooge shook his head. “She wants me now…hehe.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that one…” Goldie muttered, and then said, “My advice is to ditch her before you lose your precious number one dime.”

“She is not going to steal me dime, Goldie.”

“Oh, so? I’ll be darned if she doesn’t. And in the next few weeks, too. And when she does, I’m going to laugh.”

“You’ll be laughing 2 years too late, at the rate the news gets to where you live.” He chuckled.

Goldie stuck her gun up to his chest. “You better hush your mouth, you varmint. I’ll be sticking around Duckburg for the next few weeks.”

“Fine by me…”

“I bet…” she smirked and wheeled around and out of the living room. But on her way out the door, she slammed right into Magica.

“Oh! Who are you, dahlink?”

“I’m Goldie O’Gilt! A friend of Scrooge’s! I’m guessing you are his wife?”

“Yes. I am Scrooge’s wife.”

“Interesting…”

“Why do you have shotgun?”

“None of your beeswax.”

“Well you need to be getting it out of my house.”

“YOUR house? I’m sorry, but this is SCROOGE’S house.”

“Mine too.”

“Fraid not. This is Scrooge’s house. He paid for it with his own cold hard cash. You’re just simply living in it, sister. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“I will, thank you.”

Goldie stormed out of the mansion, infuriated.

Magica came up to Scrooge and said, “What was THAT about?”

“My old girlfriend has come to town and is jealous I suppose…”

“Oh…Well too bad. She’s a little too late, right?” moved closer to Scrooge.

“Yes…” he gulped, “a little too late…”

Next day…

(Ring…)

“Sir, it’s for you.”

Scrooge grabbed the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Hello Scrooge…” came Goldie’s voice.

“Oh…heh heh…” He always turned to mush with Goldie.

“How are you?”

“Fine…and you?”

“Okay.”

“Where are you?”

“The Duckford Hotel. Would you like the room number?”

“Um…Er…that is to say…no.”

“Oh?! Really? Well I’ll tell you anyway. My room number is 322. You should drop by.”

“As much as I’d love to, I’m going to have to pass.”

“Are you sure, Scroogey?”

“I’m positive. I have a life…a wife, and don’t need to…er…”

“Fine…Well, when she gets your dime, I’ll be in 322.”

Scrooge sighed. “Is that all you called for?”

“I suppose…I sure miss you, Scrooge…”

“Well, I’ve moved on…You should too.”

“I’m freaking blankety blank years old! The only person I could POSSIBLY be with at THIS time in my life is my true love!”

“Well I’m with Magica. You’re too late.”

“Too late?! I’ve tried to get you back for years!”

“You have not.”

“I’ve lured you to White Agony plenty of times!”

“To get me money!”

“Well…yes…But you too, Scrooge. I love you and miss you, and…” The connection was suddenly cut off. Magica had grabbed the phone from Scrooge and hung it up.

“And THAT’S how you get rid of her,” she said with a bitter look on her face.

“Magica! Now she thinks I’ve hung up on her!”

“So?”

The next night…

“Oh, Scroogey? Why’d you hang up on me yesterday?”

“I, er, didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“Well…my offer’s still open…I’m waiting…”

“Well, I’m not coming,” he said simply.

“Uh!” she pouted.

“Goldie, I can’t…” (CLICK by Magica)

“Scrooge, you’ve got be tough!” his wife shouted.

“I AM tough!”

“Then tell that girl up straight!”

“But…”

“But WHAT? You CARE about her?”

“I…” He shut his mouth and sighed. “YOU wouldn’t understand…”

“Hmm…” Magica had a plan. So when Scrooge went to sleep, she tiptoed downstairs and dialed a number (it only took 3 digits; give you one guess)

“Hello? Yes, I am calling to file harassment on Goldie O’Gilt. She’s my husband’s crazy ex-girlfriend and she’s been calling him every night…Wanting him to come over…She’s at the Duckford Hotel in room 322…Ok, thank you.” She hung up with a smirk and went back upstairs and lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.

“That’ll teach the brat…” she thought, satisfied.

For the next couple of days, Scrooge had gotten no calls from Goldie. Secretly, this saddened him a bit. Magica noticed this, and asked, “What’s wrong, Scroogey?”

“Nothing…”

“It’s sure quiet around here…” She commented.

“Aye…” Scrooge sighed.

“Let’s go sit down in the living room and talk. We haven’t done that much. You’ve been too wrapped up in your um…little ex…” she said disgustedly.

As they started for the couch, the phone rang. They both stopped and listened carefully.

“Sir! Telephone!”

Magica’s stomach tightened as did her fists. She might’ve even growled.

“Hello?” Scrooge took the call.

“Scrooge, I’m in jail because your WIFE filed harassment on me!”

“What?!”

“It’s true!!”

“Well, maybe it’s because you deserved it. You had it coming the way you kept calling up here…” he trailed off.

“No I didn’t and you darn well know it! Come bail me out! Or you’ll regret it when I get out of this joint!”

“Um…” he gulped, “Alright.” (Click)

Scrooge turned to Magica, narrowed his eyes and said, “Magica. I’m going to bail Goldie out of jail.”

“Oh no you don’t!” she cast her hands at Scrooge and yelled something, making him freeze.

Then Magica said, “If you get girl, I get dime!” Magica scurried to get it. All the while, she was thinking, “What has that girl got that I haven’t? Honestly! I don’t understand. I’m beautiful, astounding, lovable, kind (when I am wanting to be), honest (most of the time…Oh like SHE is?)…I’m just as good as her! If not BETTER! I can’t believe he’s going to be choosing her over me! Who cares if she’s in jail! Let her ROT in jail! But if he can be getting what HE wants, I can be getting what I want! We’re even Steven!” She laughed maniacally.

The dime was on display in the library.

“Fool!” She shouted, happily. She grabbed the dime. Yeah, alarms went off, but she’d be to Mt. Vesuvius before anyone could catch her. She had to hurry, because the freeze spell didn’t last long. (POOF!)

“You got the dime!” Poe exclaimed, astonished. “Evermore!”

“Yes! I have Scrooge’s #1 dime! HAHAHAHAHA!”

Back in Duckburg, Scrooge unfroze. He didn’t even realize he’d been frozen. He rushed to the Duckburg Jail. He wasn’t too happy about using his precious money to bail someone out of jail, but it was Goldie, and it actually wasn’t her fault.

“Hello, I’m here to bail out Miss O’Gilt.”

A short, fat mustached man with a donut in his hand looked at Scrooge from behind his desk. “Seriously, Scrooge McDuck? I thought she was harassing you or something.””

“Nope. Me wife was just jealous.”

“Oh…Alright…Well, it’ll be $500 to bail out the lady.”

“$500?! Oh fine,” he grumbled and handed the man the money. The officer unlocked Goldie and she rushed out and hugged Scrooge. Then, remembering herself, she straightened up.

“Ahem…Thank you for bailing me out, Scrooge.”

“Er…” he turned a bit pink. “Just don’t get in here again.”

“As long as your wife doesn’t press charges on me again…By the way, has she got your dime yet?”

Scrooge’s face fell. He ran back home with no explanation. And sure enough, his gut feeling was correct. The dime was gone.

“Blow me bagpipes! Magica!!!” His anger soon turned to sadness. He looked down sadly. “I’d really thought she’d changed, too…But she hasn’t, so toughen up, Scroogey old boy!” He rushed for the phone to call Launchpad.

“Hello?”

“Launchpad!”

“Hey Mr. McD! What can I do for ya?”

“Fly me to Mt. Vesuvius!”

“Has she got your dime again!”

“No, there’s a fair going on at the volcano!”

“Really?! Oh boy!”

“LAUNCHPAD! I WAS KIDDING! Come and pick me up now!”

“Right-O, Mr. McD.”

Launchpad flew Scrooge to Italy. When they got there, they rushed out of the plane and into the volcano that Magica had called her home before she married Scrooge.

“Hello Scrooge,” she said when they appeared in her lair. “I was wondering when you’d be showing up.”

“Magica de Spell!”

“McDuck, you mean,” she corrected him.

“I don’t think so, Ms. De Spell. No wife of mine would do this to me,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Did you bail the brat out of jail?”

“Yes, I did. And she’s not a brat. You’re the brat! No, you’re more than a brat. You’re a witch!”

“Yes. You’re point?”

“Give me dime back!”

Magica laughed. “You wish.”

Launchpad looked around in haste for some sort of diversion. There were a bunch of potions setting on a table. “Hm…” he thought. He started grabbing them and throwing them at Magica, hoping one of them would harm her in some way. He accomplished turning her into fish in the end, and fish can’t hold dimes. But Mr. Poe swooped down and got it before Launchpad or Scrooge could grab it. There was one last potion on the table. Launchpad picked it up and chunked it at the bird, hitting it.

“Ow! Evermore!” he shouted, dropping the dime. It landed right into Scrooge’s hands.

“Ha!” he said.

“NO!” Magica screamed, as a fish on the ground.

“Yes!” Scrooge said, teasingly. “I’ll see you in court, Magica.” And with that, he and Launchpad left Mt. Vesuvius.

As they were driving back home, Scrooge said, “Um…thank you, Launchpad. That was smart of you to think of that.”

“You’re welcome Mr. McD. Just doing my job.”

“Your job is flying.”

“Oh…right. So can I get extra pay for this?”

“NO.”

“Didn’t think so…” he sighed.

Goldie was waiting for Scrooge outside his mansion.

“So…Did you get your dime back?” she smirked.

“Yes, I did.”

“I told you she wanted your dime.”

“I know…You were right.”

“I know,” she smiled. “So how’s about me and you…?”

“Me and you what?”

“Um…have you divorced Magica yet?”

“Not officially.”

“Close enough,” she grabbed Scrooge and kissed him.

“Er…” Scrooge stammered after she’d broke away from him.

Goldie just smiled.

“I don’t need these shenanigans, Goldie…”

Goldie’s face fell. “You NEVER need these shenanigans!” she spat, with a stomp of her foot.

“Well…” he started.

“Scrooge McDuck…” she sighed. “Oh, why do I even bother? Do you want me to leave? Go back home to the Klondike as usual? Probably never see you again…”

“You can bet on us seeing one another again,” he chuckled.

“Oh, are you planning on cheating on me again?”

“That wasn’t cheating because we’re not together.”

“We should be,” she mumbled.

“Yes, we should, but we’re not.”

“And why not?”

“Because I love me money?” he suggested innocently.

“You married Magica, though…” she said quietly.

“That’s different, though…”

“No, it isn’t. What it is, is that you are just afraid of commitment…”

“No I am not.”

“You’re right. You’re just a stubborn, cold hearted duck…that sure knows how to break a girl’s heart…” she said sadly, pushed him out of the way, and stalked off.

“Goldie…” Scrooge said.

Goldie stopped walking. “Scrooge. You’re breaking my heart…”

“Goldie…I don’t need this. I don’t have time…”

“You could make time. All the time you’ve spent breaking my heart, you could’ve mended it.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know how.”

Goldie sniffed.

“Oh, don’t cry, Goldie girl…”

“How could I not cry, Scrooge? You don’t know what you’ve put me through…50 years of waiting…and then we have met a few times since then, and you still just walk out of my life…”

“You’re the one walking away this time,” Scrooge pointed out.

“Because you want me to.”

“I never said I wanted you to. It’s just what I think is best.”

“I don’t think you know what’s best. All you care about is your money.”

“But it was me first love,” he joked.

“This is no time for jokes, Scrooge,” she said through tears.

“Sorry,” he said apologetically, reaching for her shoulder, but she jerked away.

“You disgust me, you know that?” she said bitterly.

“I’m sorry to hear that…”

“I used to think you loved me…” she trailed off.

“I did. I do…”

“Then why—”

“It’s complicated, Goldie…”

“We could work out the complications, Scrooge.”

Scrooge was silent.

“Or I could leave and you can go make love to your money!” she threw her hands up in the air, stalked away, and didn’t look back.

Scrooge watched her leave sadly. He let the woman he loved most get away again. But he didn’t have time for a relationship, really…Or did he just not want one? Or was he afraid of commitment? No, it was that he didn’t have time. When he had been with Magica for that short time, his business affairs had slowed down a great deal…He just didn’t have the time or patience to have a woman.

“And I don’t make love to me money!” he shouted at her.

Goldie just huffed and kept walking, with tears streaming down her face.

And Scrooge wouldn’t let anyone know it, but a single tear fell down his face as well. But he wiped it away quickly and went into his mansion.

“Is Magica gone?” Huey asked as his uncle walked in the house.

“Yes, Huey.”

“And was that Goldie out there?” Dewey said.

“What were you two love birds doing out there?” Louie teased.

Even the boys know how I feel about Goldie…Scrooge thought.

“Nothing important,” Scrooge covered.

“Mm-hmm,” the triplets said sarcastically.

“Are you going to marry her, Uncle Scrooge?” Huey asked.

“No, boys.”

“You know you want to, Uncle Scrooge.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, boys,” he got a bit red. “It’s too late. It should’ve been done years ago.”

“It’s never too late to marry, Uncle Scrooge. You just got married last week,” Louie pointed out.

“This is different…If it was meant to be, it would’ve happened long ago…Complications have happened before, so it means it wasn’t meant to be. And that’s all I have to say on that matter.” He went upstairs.

That was Scrooge’s philosophy on the subject. Stuff had happened in the past to prevent them from being together and he took that as a sign. And he was just too busy. He was a hard working man. He was thinking about Goldie, because if he married her, she would be miserable. Scrooge cared way too much about making money to really give enough attention to anything else. So it was really for the best.

So Scrooge spent the rest of his life making money and resuming his post as richest duck in the world, while Goldie was left to suffer in the Klondike all alone hoping for things that would never happen.