Author: kaprikorn PM
While bonding with Charlie over an animal documentary, Bella finds a new nickname for Edward, or just all vampires in general. OneshotRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Bella & Edward - Words: 1,463 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 5 - Published: 06-21-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5155820
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N So today is father's day and i bought my dad a really nice, fairly expensive gift that i was really proud of. i was so pumped to give it to him before but right now i feel totally drained and just plain crappy so i'm hiding in my room with my lap top and typing up and revising an old fan fic of mine that i wrote in math class before school let out. (winner of the awkward run on sentence award, lol) It was inspired by a documentary my mom and i watched one night awhile ago. Happy Reading and don't forget to R&R!
Disclaimer: If I had written Twilight, I would not currently be working a part time job for small wages. I would, however, be rich and have loads of adoring fans. As it stands, I am NOT rich, I have NO fans, and I don NOT own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's characters.
I also do not own any animal documentaries, unless family videos featuring my spaniel count.
By: Neon Chandelier
Date: June 21, 2009
I lay, stretched out like a happy cat across the family couch, pouting. My father, Charlie sat next to me in his favourite old armchair, looking almost as bored with the animal documentary that we were watching as I was.
We were supposed to be having some father daughter time while Edward, my vampire fiance, and his family were gone on one of their extended "hiking" trips. Carlisle, Edward's adoptive father, had told Charlie all about the time he spent "bonding" with his family, and had suggested that we do the same before I supposedly left for college with Edward in the fall.
Somehow, Charlie had taken Carlisle's advice to mean that we should go fishing and had proposed the concept of bonding in his little motor boat in La Push every day over the course of the Cullens' absence. There was no way on Earth that I would willingly go anywhere near live worms and vampire infested lake water, (Hey, if Victoria could swim up to the beach in search of me, why wouldn't any other vampire be able to?) so I had asked if we could go watch a movie instead, and as I was not in the mood to watch any horror or sports films, and Charlie wasn't too fond of the idea of a romantic comedy, we had eventually settled on an animal documentary set in the ocean.
I was trying to determine how much longer I could survive Edward's necessary absence, daydreaming fruitlessly about our honeymoon and growing more and more embarrassed and turned on by the second when something the narrator said grabbed my attention.
"These creatures are inexplicably some of the most amazing and mysterious animals in existence." His dull voice droned on in a bored tone. He didn't sound very exited. That wasn't what had grabbed my attention though.
"They are always hyper-aware of their surroundings." He continued. "They see everything that passes by them with a type of super-vision." I perked up instantly, not bothering to look at the screen. That reminded me slightly of my vampires.
"Their hundreds of eyes are found hidden in a ring around their 'belts' and are capable of seeing, especially in the dark. This makes them capable of detecting every motion around them, and they snag up vulnerable prey without any form of thought ever needing to take place." Yep, definitely vampiric creatures.
"What's more, they can easily snap up unsuspecting prey into their pail arms and bodies with lightening-like reflexes."
"We will now speak to Miss. Mary Gerals, one of the few born survivors of their vicious attacks."
I sat up in my seat, finally glancing at the screen in an attempt to see what it was that was placing the image of my soon-to-be family in my brain. The man's voice was instantly replaced with that of a young woman's and the screen was currently looking into a scientist's microscope as she explained the effects of the creatures' venom.
Venomous? Attacks? Now I was excited.
"The night that I was attacked, I was nothing more than a drunk college student looking for a good time. I expected the beach water to be safe, and not bothering to read the warning signs distributed all around the perimeter of the water. I was half way through the beach, water up to my waste when they suddenly fell upon me.
"I felt my arms and legs begin to sting suddenly with an intense amount of pain, and started to panic when I felt my body suddenly grow numb. I was suddenly unable to swim, and I was making my peace with death when my body was suddenly wrenched from the water by a nearby fisherman who had come to investigate when he heard my cries on his boat.
She had been a lucky girl, I thought. Most wouldn't have survived such an attack.
"I was rushed immediately to the nearest hospital, given some pain medication and kept under surveillance throughout the night. The next day I began to question things, like; 'Why does it hurt so much?' And; 'How can such a seemingly harmless, almost supernaturally beautiful being be so much more powerful that I was?'
My thoughts instantly began to whirl. How, indeed, could such harmless looking creatures really be so frightening? I thought back to the many glorious faces I had seen while in Volterra and then to all of the destruction I had witnessed in the last few years since my move to Forks. I shuddered as I remembered the screams of the people who had walked into the room, the feeding room, that I had just left. I was certain that I was the only human that had walked out of there that day, if not the only human who had ever walked away from there.
"Dr. Gerals," The narrator's nasally voice began again, and Charlie snored loudly from the chair, his open mouth liable to catch a few flies, "is now holding a 45 mm bottle of their venom, extracted carefully from their pale tissue."
"The funny thing about this particular type of venom is that it does not focus on any single aspect of what all kinds of venom and poisons in the animal kingdom do, but rather all of them mixed together to create one deadly and painful super toxin." Dr. G. was back on screen, looking into a microscope once again.
"Like most snakes for example, their venom is capable of paralysing the victim by attacking the prey's nervous system. This is both painful and deadly, as well as being a hard thing to duplicate. It will also attack the blood cells, and erode and burn the skin of a mammal or fish.
"This strange mix makes it impossible to duplicate for scientific or military purposes, and even harder to create a cure for."
Perhaps they really were talking about vampires, I mused quietly to myself. All of the pieces seemed to fit together fairly well. Well, except, of course for the part about 'hundreds of eyes around the belt.' Perhaps it was some sort of vampire hybrid, or an ancestor of the modern day vampires still living in the depths of the oceans. I was almost inclined to start day dreaming about merpeople and Atlantis.
"These are by far, some of my favourite little monsters." The doctor spoke again. "Despite the pain and issues that they have caused me in the past, they are all beautiful and they are a perfect example of the mysteries still left in the depths of our seas."
I sat on the edge of my seat, impatiently waiting to see this fish-thing for myself.
"This is why I love them; the American Jellyfish."
Charlie was awoken from his deep snooze by my heavy laughter filling the small space of the living room and making him smile. Whatever made me happy made him happy, except, of course, for my taste in boys.
When the doorbell rang suddenly, I looked up at her father, tears in my brown eyes from laughing so hard.
"I'll get it!" I said happily, hopping up from the spot where I had fallen from my chair onto the floor, and running eagerly to the door.
Edward stood casually with a perfect crooked smile adorning his lip when I yanked the wooden door open.
"Hello my love, how was your weekend?" He asked, leaning down for a kiss.
"Great!" I replied happily, "But I really did miss you, my darling jellyfish."