Title: Shattered

Rating: M

Summary: AU… What if Shelley Pomeroy’s party had much larger repercussions? Begins pre-series

Spoilers: Eventually all 3 seasons

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Towel?

Check.

Sunscreen?

Check.

A tiny life vest fit for a two year old and an inflatable alligator pool toy?

Check.

If there were any doubts about how girly she could be, Veronica put them all to rest every time she went to Babies’ R’ Us and spent hours looking in the aisles upon aisles filled with clothes and toys. She usually did not have enough money to buy half the things she wanted to, but she had been saving for awhile and was able to buy a bunch of new toys for Sean this month.

“Alright, Birthday Boy, just give me one more minute,” she said, shoving everything they would need into a cloth bag.

Her son, who was sitting on her bed watching Sesame Street, threw his toy blocks down in excitement and began clapping his hands. “My birthday,” he crowed gleefully.

“Your birthday,” she repeated, readjusting the strap to the bathing suit she was wearing under her t-shirt while she searched for a hat for him in her dresser drawers.

“Beach now?” he asked from behind her.

She closed the drawer she had been searching in and opened the one right above it. “Very soon, baby.” Today, they were going to be spending his second birthday at Coney Island. For his first birthday, he had spent most of the day with Miss Helen and Veronica had only been able to give him a little mini celebration with an ice cream cake she had bought from Carvel in her haste to get home from a late night at her job. She had hated that his first birthday was such a letdown, but she vowed to make the second one even better. So to make up for it, they were going to spend today at the beach, go on a few rides at Astroland, and maybe even stop by the aquarium that was right on the edge of the boardwalk. At the age of two, Sean did have a few friends that he had made at the park. He had even gone on a couple of play dates at their houses, where Veronica spent torturous hours making conversation with mothers twice her age while the toddlers played. These mothers would usually spend their time giving her ‘sage’ advice that any moron could figure out. She hated it when these people figured that she was incapable of taking care of Sean and probably neglected him just because she was so young. If only they knew how young she actually was, they probably would have called Child Services.

But she did not want to make today about fending off those idiots’ stupid remarks, so she decided that she would rather have a small celebration at the beach instead of a larger party in Miss Helen’s basement. It would be the perfect place to be in the late August heat. Just her, Sean, and Tony.

She and Tony had gotten a lot closer over the past eleven months. They were not exactly a couple, since she did not really have the time for dating when she was taking care of Sean and working a full time job. She was also not a hundred percent sure if she was ready for that, considering the ton of emotional baggage that she was most definitely still carrying around somewhere in the recesses of her mind. But he was sweet to her and would talk to her about things she was interested in, something she did not right away realize she had been missing in all the babbling conversations she had with her baby. He even did not mind that the few ‘sort-of dates’ that they had were spent with a toddler between them watching an inane cartoon.

In many ways, he helped her forget about everything she had left behind. If she had not had him to talk to, she probably would have spent a lot more time stuck with her thoughts about Neptune. Thoughts about her father. Her mother. Her other possible father.

It had nearly driven her crazy that, after she saw that newscast on the bus crash, everyone had been talking about Neptune for weeks afterward. She had wanted to know as well about what had happened and who was hurt, but it had caused too many emotions to resurface that she had carefully stowed away. She was glad when it was finally resolved, only a month later, with the suicide note being found on Ed Doyle’s computer. With that mystery solved, the rest of the country had forgotten about the small town tragedy. Veronica tried to forget as well, but a nagging suspicion in the back of her mind kept telling her for months that it was too clean of a resolution. Especially since it was a case that had been solved by the local authorities, otherwise known as Lamb. To her, it did not make a lot of sense. But that was not her problem. All she needed to worry about was Sean.

With the sounds of a singing Elmo still blaring in her ears, Veronica dug into the last possible drawer that hat could be hidden in. If it was not there, she was going to have to buy him a new hat at one of those overly expensive stores on the boardwalk. She was willing to waste the money, though. Anything to avoid a sunburn on his head that would effectively put a bad spin on the day she had been painstakingly planning for weeks now.

She reached a hand blindly into the drawer and immediately her fingers brushed against a small cardboard box. One that she had almost forgotten was in there. Pulling it out, Veronica sat heavily on the edge of the bed and lifted the lid off. First she pulled out the two plastic ids. One with her own face and the other with Lilly’s. She smiled, her fingers stroking the first of many fake ids she had gotten over the past two years. Then she put them back and took out the picture on top. It was the one of homecoming night. She looked at all the smiling faces. They looked so happy then. Lilly, glittering like a goddess in her gold dress, and Veronica, shining innocently in her long pink gown, were flanked by the cheerful Duncan and Logan, in their dark tuxes. It had taken a long time, but she was finally able to look at the picture without wanting to vomit at the thought of her first love being her brother. Or feel the hurt and anger surge through her whenever she saw Logan, with his arms wrapped around Lilly. But it felt like so long ago, so far away, that it barely affected her anymore. It was just old history, a past she had survived and moved on from.

She gently placed the picture back in the box with the ids and pulled out the last photo in the box. Staring at it, she could feel the bed shift behind her. Sean, losing interest in his toys, crawled into her lap and looked at the snapshot in her hand.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing a chubby finger at it.

Veronica shifted him so that he could get a better look at it in the light. “That’s your Grandpa,” she told him, her own finger running across her father’s face.

“G’pa,” he attempted to repeat.

“Yup,” she confirmed, then she shifted her finger a little to the right. “And that’s your grandma. And that’s me.” His tiny finger began following hers and she repeated who everybody in the photo was, hoping that she was creating some sort of memory so that he could remember people he may not ever meet.

The doorbell rang and both of their attentions were brought back to reality.

“And that would be Tony,” she said, setting Sean on the ground and closing the lid on the box to her past. Veronica, putting the long inflatable alligator toy under one arm, picked up their beach bag and then took Sean’s hand. She guided him down the stairs, helping him as his short legs climbed down the stairs one step at a time. It took a lot longer than it would have if she carried him, but she always made sure to allow him to practice walking any chance she got.

When she finally opened the door, Tony was standing there with a large wrapped present in his hands. He quirked an eyebrow at all the stuff she had in her hands. “You look like a tourist.”

“Hey,” she cried in defense, allowing him to grab the large flotation toy. “He’s two! Do you know how hard it is to keep a two year old occupied without a wonderbag filled with a never-ending supply of toys?”

He laughed as he led her to his car. “And what does it take to keep the mother occupied?” Veronica blushed, but said nothing.

Forty minutes later, they were standing on a sunny boardwalk. Coney Island was only a ten minute drive away from her apartment, but it took about twice that time to find a parking space on the crowded street. It seemed that August 28th was a popular day to spend at the beach, especially among students who were putting their last few days of freedom, before they had to go back to school, to good use.

Since it was his birthday, they had given Sean the choice to choose where he wanted to go first. He insisted that he wanted to go to the aquarium to see the sharks Tony had promised him were there, but eventually it had gotten too hot for him to walk around between the various exhibits and even the colorful fish did not make his discomfort worth it.

Tony brought them to the Nathan’s a little further along the beach, saying that no Coney Island experience was complete without a hot dog and lemonade. They sat in the air-conditioned fast food store and then went back out when Sean was ready. He wanted to ride on one of the kiddy merry-go-round rides, but had gotten too scared at the last minute. When Veronica finally calmed him down, they went to sit on the beach instead. She put him in his life vest and he happily splashed around on the floating alligator with the help of Tony and Veronica. After spending all her life near an ocean in California, she really wanted to teach him how to swim but she figured she would have to wait until he was a little older.

A couple hours later, and after a small scoop of chocolate ice cream that he tried to feed more to the seagulls than he actually ate himself, Sean was down for the count in her lap. She stroked his hair while she listened to a story Tony was telling about a time in junior high when he and his brothers stole his father’s car.

“… putting the empty beer cans in the neighbor’s mailboxes as we drove by. We were so sure we got away with it. But when we got back, Dad was sitting in a fold-out chair on the driveway.”

Veronica laughed, holding Sean to her body with a tighter grip so she would not jiggle him awake. Tony paused to take a sip from his water bottle and they fell into a comfortable silence. In the distance, she could see an older couple setting up a radio on top of their cooler. She listened closely and after a moment was able to recognize the song that was playing.

“I love this song,” Tony said from beside her. “I’d say that ‘Fire of Unknown Origin’ is one of B.O.C.’s greatest.” She absently nodded, her eyes still focused on the radio. “You know,” he continued, trying to regain her attention. “Blue Oyster Cult was started on Stony Brook’s campus. Don’t tell my dad, but that’s basically why I decided to go there.”

She gave him a small smile. “My dad’s favorite was ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’.”

“An instant classic,” he acknowledged, grinning appreciatively. She looked down when she felt Sean stir in her arms and slowly rocked him until he settled back down.

“I’d like to meet him.” Veronica looked up in confusion. “Your father, I mean,” he clarified.

“Um… I… I don’t know,” she stuttered, feeling the slight panic that she had not experienced in a long time.

Tony looked vaguely hurt. “No, I didn’t mean… It’s okay. If you don’t want…”

Veronica quickly shook her head. “It’s not you. It’s just… really complicated.”

“Oh,” he looked down at his hands in his lap. “Is that why you don’t talk about them?”

“Who?”

“Chelsea,” he sighed, clearly not wanting to let her off the hook. “Your family. You never talk about them. The most I know right now is that your father has a fairly good taste in music.”

“Very good taste,” she corrected, trying to joke away from the subject. When he just looked at her, she closed her eyes and nervously chewed on her lip. Then, she looked back at him. “When I left Illinois, we had... family issues. That’s why I came here. Sean is all the family I have now.” Tony watched her for a moment and then nodded, clearly unsatisfied but willing to let it go.

“Mama,” a voice called from her lap. They both glanced down and saw Sean struggling to escape Veronica’s grip. Looking up at her, he pointed up to the sky. “Want birdy.” They watched the seagull fly in the opposite direction, toward the boardwalk.

“Sean, I think that bird’s going home,” Veronica told him. She glanced down at her watch and then up at Tony, who nodded. “Which we’re going to do too.”

Her son pouted. “Don’t wanna.”

She rolled her eyes, but Tony smiled. “Well, it is dinner time. We can go get something to eat. What do you say, little man?” Sean nodded enthusiastically.

Veronica readjusted her grip on him and stood up. “Fine,” she conceded. “We can go to the diner.” Tony just nodded, knowing exactly which diner she was talking about. She had brought him there enough times. They gathered their things and walked back to the car.

The waitress from the diner had been one of the first people Veronica actually got close to when she moved to New York. She had helped her in many ways, telling her what to expect in her pregnancy and had even watched Sean a few times when he was first born. Her grandson was the first kid around Sean’s own age that he befriended. Veronica was extremely grateful to her, and she made sure to at least visit her at the diner a couple times a month.

They walked in and sat at a booth toward the back of the diner. After they ordered, Veronica turned to Tony. “Can you watch him a few minutes? I want to go say hi.” Tony, who was helping Sean draw a picture on the paper placemat in front of him, nodded without looking up. It amazed her sometimes how a grown man and two year old could be so entertained by the same things.

Walking to the front of the diner, Veronica exchanged greetings with a few of the familiar waitresses. She was not a hundred percent sure she was placing the right names to the right faces, so she avoided actually calling them by their names. Veronica did not see her friend, so she sat on a stool at the counter to wait. The guy sitting on the stool next to her kept trying to quickly look at her without her noticing. Veronica openly stared at him, figuring it would embarrass him into stopping.

When he caught on, he dropped his gaze. “Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just… you look really familiar. Do I know you?”

She studied his face. “I don’t think so. Unless you’ve had any professional portraits done recently.”

“Nah,” he replied. “I haven’t had any pictures taken since they took our graduation photos for the yearbook. But that was way back in September.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t do school photos, so probably not.” She thought about it a minute. “I do come here a lot. Maybe that’s where you know me from. Have you been here before?”

He visibly stiffened. “No, I just came out here to see my… girlfriend. She works here.”

“Oh. I might know her. What’s her name?” Veronica asked.

Before he could answer, another voice cut in.

“Chelsea,” she heard Tony say from behind her. He was holding Sean in his arms. “My dad called. He’s short-staffed and needs me to come in.”

“Okay,” Veronica said. “Uh, sorry. I have to go. It was nice meeting you…” she trailed off, realizing he had never told her his name.

“Wallace?” a shocked voice called. They both turned to see Jackie standing near the doorway. She walked closer and then halted, a safe foot away. “What are you doing here?”

“Your father told me the truth,” his hollow voice responded.

Jackie stared at him, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Then she seemed to notice Veronica standing there. “Uh, hey Chelsea,” her trembling voice said.

“Hey, Jackie,” Veronica replied. She turned to Tony and could see from the way he was uncomfortably shifting that he noticed the obvious tension too. “We’re just leaving,” she quickly continued. “Could you just tell your mom that I came by to say hi?”

Jackie nodded, and Veronica turned to Tony so they could leave. As they were walking out the door, Veronica could hear Wallace's hurt voice saying, “Why did you lie to me? Why did you not tell me?”

Veronica strapped Sean in the car seat and then Tony pulled away from the curb.

“When did Jackie get back from California?” he asked.

She shrugged. “A few weeks ago.”

“I guess she didn’t tell that Wallace guy about Greg.”

“Probably not,” Veronica said, staring out the window.

He shook his head in disbelief. “That’s incredible. How could you not tell someone that you have a kid?” Veronica unintentionally stiffened, though Tony did not notice. “That’s just messed up. She was basically living a lie for months.”

Veronica’s eyes trailed to the rearview mirror, where she could see her own son dozing off in his car seat. “Yeah,” she whispered.

He looked back at her. “Hey, you wanna come to the pizzeria with me? Keep me company? I’ll even give you all the free pizza to your heart’s content,” he bribed, grinning at her.

“I can’t,” she responded, forcing a smile. “He’s falling asleep. I should bring him home.” He nodded and pulled up to her street. They sat in silence for a moment.

“I think Sean had a lot of fun today,” he told her. She nodded. “I had a lot of fun too,” he said. “We should do it again sometime, before it gets too cold.”

“Okay,” Veronica agreed. He looked at her and then leaned in close, softly kissing her. She hesitated a moment, just like she did all the other times he kissed her, but then opened her mouth slightly to allow him to deepen the kiss. When she heard Sean moving in the back seat, she broke away.

“It’s getting late,” she murmured.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, though it came out sounding more like a question.

Veronica nodded. “Okay.” They got out of the car and he helped her bring her things back to her apartment. After saying goodbye, she closed the door and brought Sean to his room. She settled her sleeping son in his crib and kissed him on the forehead.

Walking back to her room, she paused by her desk and pulled open the top drawer. Lying on top of a bunch of random papers was her last untraceable phone. She picked it up and sat cross-legged on her bed with it in her hand.

Tony was right. Jackie had lived a lie for a couple months. But Veronica had been living a lie for two long years. She was sick of running. Sick of hiding. She missed her father.

She dialed the number into the unused phone and brought it to her ear. It rang a few times, and her heart dropped. If he did not pick up this time, she would probably lose her nerve again and she did not know if she would ever try to call again.

“Hello,” a voice said over the line.

Veronica paused, dread creeping up her spine. It was a female’s voice. But it was not her mother’s voice. Had her family moved while she was gone?

“Hello,” the voice repeated, sounding slightly agitated.

“Hi,” Veronica finally said. “I’m… um looking for Keith Mars. Is he there?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Then a sigh. “Who is this?”

“Family,” Veronica responded, getting more confused by the moment. “Can I speak to him now?”

“I’m sorry,” the woman responded. “But he’s not here.”

“Where is he?” Veronica asked, now in a full-blown panic.

“Keith has been in a coma for the past two months.”

A/N: I don’t remember if they mentioned Jackie’s son’s name in the show so I made up my own. Sorry if I’m wrong.

A/N2: Thank you so much to everybody who said they would like for this fic to continue because I really loved this idea and did not want to give up on it. I was so excited by all your comments that I wrote this next chapter right away. This is the chapter I’ve been looking forward to doing for awhile because this is where you first start to see Neptune really intruding in on Veronica’s little world. So next chapter I can finally bring her back home and get to explore what has happened since she left. By the way, if it’s not clear, we are now at the beginning of season three.

A/N3: Oh and I know a lot of people had wanted to see Veronica go home so that she could be reunited with Keith, and I’m sooooooooo sorry that has to be delayed. But unfortunately it was necessary for the development of the plot. I’ll just have to make up for it in some other way (perhaps with LoVe)

A/N4: Happy Fourth of July!

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