|Learning To Breathe
Author: hunterwm PM
The sequel to "Rescue me" jessie/katie DISCLAIMER: i do not own the tv show "Once and Again" or it's characters...sadly nor to claim to own any songs i may use. And if you don't realize any of this than you should just leave nowRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,627 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 08-22-10 - Published: 06-22-09 - id: 5159303
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
haha, i'm getting good at this "updating within a normal time limit rather than a year" thing i have going. i hope you're proud of me. at least, that's what i would like to say. but you see, it's been like 2 months since i started writing this chapter...then i just put off finishing it for some reason. and that's a little unfair to you.
so i have a job now. i'm a lifeguard at a water park. i just save lives, no big deal. i do look pretty badass though, if i do say so myself. with the dark sunglasses, my whistle...my fanny pack and crocs. no one will mess with me. i've just been so busy rescuing people from drowning and being a hero, i hadn't had much time to write. oh, and getting ready for college. stupid loans. why can't i just win the lottery? so much easier. anyway i move into my dorm in a week. and my roommate likes to write so i may blackmail her into helping me...i mean, ask her politely to contribute to this wonderful story.
i'm going to knock this one up to an M rating, just to be safe..mmmm j/k ness. oh, and swearing and stuff. did i mention i like sex? because i do. very much so...yay sex!
this one is Fix You by Coldplay, as always, enjoy =)
Katie Singer stared out the window, head in her hand, watching the sun slowly sink under the horizon. As she watched the sun set from her windowsill, Jessie watched her from her place on the bed, biting her lip tentatively. She knew the funeral must have taken a toll on the other girl's Psyche, yet she wondered what was really going through her head.
"Do you want to talk about it?" The girl shook her head.
"No." Jessie just nodded, not wanting to push the matter further at Katie's expense. She chose to play with the hem of her black dress, torn between wanting to change into somewhat less depressing clothes, but not wanting to leave her girlfriend in such a depressed state.
"Why won't you touch me?" The blonde was startled by the question.
"What do you mean?" Jessie got up and walked over to the other young lady, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in her own. "I always touch you." Katie shook her head.
"You'll hold my hand sure. You'll even kiss me, but you haven't come close to...are you like, scared of me or something?"
"What? No baby, no." She tightened her grip on Katie's hands, bringing them close to her chest.
"Then what is it?" Jessie held her lip in between her teeth.
"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you," the words came out as a mere whisper. She moved her eyes down to the floor, not wanting to meet Katie's eyes.
"I'm not that fragile you know."
"I know, i just...i never want to see you in pain again." She looked back up at her girlfriend. "I never want to be the cause of it. The doctor said you should be taking it easy and i thought that if we-"
"What?" Katie let out a sigh, taking a deep breath of air.
"Jess, i want to get back to the way things were. I need you for that. Trust me, you could never hurt me." Her thumb brushed against the blonde's cheek, stroking it lovingly. "It kills me not being close to you anymore. I promise, you won't break me." Jessie swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing her eyes to stop watering. she pushed herself up a few inches to reach Katie and planted a slow kiss on her lips, keeping them connected for a bit longer than usual, only breaking away when her watch started chirping. Katie smile fell. "I take it you can't stay?" Jessie stood up and went over to the bed, grabbing her bag.
"I set an alarm to remind myself. I'm sorry hun, but my mom will kill me if i miss dinner again." She walked over to Katie once more, bending down to be eye level with the brunette. "Why don't you sleep over tomorrow night? Dad and Lily are going out. Grace and Zoe are at their dad's. The babies are with their grandparents. I would love some company." She nodded.
"Ok, sounds good. And tomorrow...will you walk in with me?" Jessie smiled and bent down for another kiss.
"I'll be right by your side."
"We don't have to do this. We can wait till tomorrow." Katie's eyes drifted from the school to Jessie. The girls were standing in front of the main doors. The brunette reached down and intertwined their fingers. She gave a halfhearted smile before turning back to face the school. Jessie slipped forward and opened the door. With a deep breath, Katie walked through it, gripping Jessie's hand tighter.
B+W testimonial: Katie: I was actually surprised that they opened the school back up. I mean, most people transferred out, but i guess they can't just like, condemn the building or something. It's not like the school is any actual threat...right?
The busy sound rushed into her ears immediately. At least a dozen police officers crowded before her, searching student's bags, using wands and sending people through metal detectors. It made her pulse rise, speeding up her heart causing much discomfort. Her heart slowed upon feeling Jessie's fingers run up and down her arm soothingly.
They passed by security in a blur, heading first to the main office to grab Katie's schedule. The secretary greeted her with a smile.
"It's nice to see you back on your feet Miss Singer." Katie nodded, taking the piece of paper from her hands and walking out of the office towards Jessie's locker.
"That was awkward." Jessie arched her eyebrow at the girl in question.
"And why is that?" She opened up her locker to retrieve her books as leaned on the locker next to her.
"She used to hate me. Thought i was a troublemaker." Jessie slammed the locker shut and smirked.
"But you are." Katie rolled her eyes.
"Well sure, side with her." The younger girl just shook her head.
"Alright. So you have everything yeah? Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to class? Carry your books?" Katie leaned forward and kissed her.
"I got this. You're going to be late." Jessie kissed her again.
"So will you." Katie kissed her nose.
"Well i have an excuse. Now you, on the other hand, do not. And i will not have everyone blame me when you fail your classes and end up working at McDonalds." The comment brought a soft chuckle from the other girl and another kiss.
"I love you. See you at lunch ok?" With that said, the Sammler girl nearly sprinted down the hall toward her classroom, leaving Katie alone. Adjusting the sling on her bad side she began her journey to her next class, scanning the halls the halls for nothing in particular. As she turned another corner, however, something stopped her dead in her tracks. She stared at the floor, almost expecting to see blood on it.
Katie turned the corner and stopped dead in her tracks, almost causing Tad to run into her.
"Lizzie?" Liz was lying sprawled out on the ground. Katie bent down and saw the blood covering her stomach. Tad took off his jacket and put it around her waist, tying it tightly.
"Is she alive?" Katie reached out trying to find a pulse when she heard Liz groan. "I'll take that as a yes." Katie lifted her head up slightly.
"Try not to move Liz. Don't worry, you're gonna be ok."
She heard footsteps and looked up, seeing Sarah approach. The girl stopped and bent down.
"It's Tom. He brought the gun." Katie's face fell. She looked at Liz, then back up at Sarah.
"She needs to get help. Do you think you can take her out of the school?" Sarah nodded. Tad lifted Liz up and put her into Sarah's arms, surprised at how light she was. Liz groaned again.
"I know I know. Hold on Liz." Katie rubbed her arm in reassurance.
"Katie?" She looked up at Sarah.
"He's in the library…She's in there with him." Katie swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing whom she was referring to.
The flashback took her breath away. She looked down the hall, her eyes landing on the double doors on her right. Her feet had a mind of their own, slowly inching their way towards their destination. She stopped three feet away from the yellow tape covering the doors, preventing entry. Her breath quickened. She grabbed her chest as her heart beat out of control. As quickly as she could she turned around, immediately running into someone, making her panic rise as the person grabbed onto her.
"Kat? Whoa calm down." She looked up into the familiar green eyes.
"Tad!" She hugged him tight with her good arm and dug her face into his T-shirt. "Get me out of here?" He nodded, wrapping his arm around her, guiding her down the hall.
"Where's your next class?"
"Left wing, but can we go a different way? I don't..." She trailed off, knowing Tad would take the hint. She kept her head down, never wanting to look back again.
"I just feel so tired, but i can't sleep. Every friggin' time i close my eyes, it's nightmare after nightmare." The therapist nodded.
"I could recommend some medication for that, but it's probably a better idea to fix the problem the old fashioned way. I'm surprised the pain killers aren't making you drowsy. So, let's talk more about today. The flashback. Do you think you should switch schools?"
"No, I'm almost ready to graduate. I'm just going to avoid that part of the school until then. Take the long way to classes."
"So you're going to go out of your way to avoid it? Why are you so afraid? It's just a hallway. Just a library. You don't even have to go in, just pass by a door." Katie let out a huff.
"I feel like every damn time i come here i end up fighting with you. It's not that simple. It's more than that. This is my solution. My choice. I'm trying my best here."
"Well your best isn't good enough. You can't avoid the things in life that scare you. That's no way to live." They both took a moment to calm down. Katie started to bite her finger nails, a habit she recently picked up. "Liz's funeral. It's bound to heighten your emotions."
"I loved her, but it just went to waste didn't it?" He took off his glasses and leaned forward, looking her in the eye.
"Love is never wasted. It goes beyond the grave." She stood up, books off of the table.
"Well, i guess our session's up for today right? I'll see you next time."
"You still have another 15 minutes left."
"Yeah, well, i have plans with Jessie so..." He put his glasses back on and walked to the door, opening it for the girl and walking her out of the office.
B+W testimonial: Katie: My world is just changing so fast. I'm trying to find a sense of normalcy somewhere but it's no use. I just want to feel like Katie again.
She snapped out of her day dream, finally taking a second to look around her. Katie had walked quite a few blocks from her home. She looked down the street in which she was standing by and noticed only one house with all of it's lights on. It was the Sammler-Manning house. It was Jessie, sitting in the attic reading for school. It was the place she had come to learn as her second home. She felt everything inside her ignite in warmth at the prospect of being close to the girl.
Before she knew it, she was at the door, ringing the doorbell. She heard light footsteps jogging down the stairs, then Jessie opening the door.
"Hey, i wasn't expecting you for another hour."
"I didn't want to wait to see you." The blonde smiled and stepped aside to allow the girl to enter. She grabbed the older girl's hand and led her up the stairs to the attic.
"Ignore the mess, I haven't felt much like cleaning. And Lily's so focused on the kids she doesn't even come up here to check. Although I'm pretty sure it's still cleaner than yours." Katie smirked while taking off her jacket and tossing it onto the desk chair. Jessie tilted her head, staring at Katie's arm. "No more sling?" The girl shrugged her shoulders.
"It was itchy," she stated simply, and walked over to the bed and sat down, encouraging Jessie to do the same.
"So how was therapy today? Did you talk about what happened at school?"
"Yeah. He says I'm avoiding my problems." Jessie brushed some of Katie's hair behind her ear, playing with the tips.
"Go on." Katie scrunched her eyebrows.
"I didn't think that would happen. I thought i was facing it you know? That's why i went back to the school in the first place. But that place...all i see is blood, everywhere; teachers, students...Liz's, mine. And everyone just stares at me like they thought i was dead. I guess i kind of am when you think about it. Stuck in reverse. That's what everyone says. Like i'm broken. Like I'm not Katie. It's like, am i ever going to be normal again? Can't i just be Katie?" She took a deep breath and continued. "And i worry, because if they see me that way, then you might see me that way, even if you try not to. And who wants to be around someone who isn't totally there?" Katie squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to cry but still letting one lone tear slip down her face. Jessie grabbed Katie's face with both hands.
"I'm not leaving you. I promise." She stroked the girl's cheek. "I will try my best to fix you. We'll do it together." Their faces were just an inch apart. Jessie watched as another tear fell down the girl's cheek and leaned forward to kiss it away. She pulled back only to have Katie to grab the back of her neck and drag her in hard for a kiss. The urgency of the kisses showed a desperation she had not yet seen from her girlfriend. As a tongue made it's way past her lips, she knew Katie more than just craved this, she needed it. Tears were streaming down the brunette's face as she tightened her grip around Jessie neck and then moved to straddle her. The blonde slid her hands down the girl's sides to her hips, letting her fingers dip under the T-shirt and trace the outline of her jeans. Katie instantly pulled back at the sensation and allowed her eyes to drift shut, letting the feeling sink in. Jessie's hands slowly travelled up, dragging the shirt with them and swiftly pulling it over the older girl's head, throwing it to the other side of the bed.
Not wasting anymore time she pushed Katie's bra to the side, holding the cup out of the way, letting her tongue have free reign. The brunette's eyes shot open at the feel of the other girl's tongue brushing across her chest. "Jessie." She dragged out the name as the young Sammler reached around and unclasped the bra, freeing her breasts to give them more attention. Her other hand trailed down the girl's stomach to the front of her girlfriend's jeans and, with one, finger pressed down hard. Katie shuddered and bucked back. Their kisses grew in intensity. Heavy breathing filled the room, making it sound like they were in the middle of a marathon. "Jess. Please."
In a haste her hand flew to Katie's pants and quickly popped open the button of her jeans before rushing to yank down the zipper. Her hand flew past the waistband of her panties, not even bothering to waste any time in taking the pants off. Her fingers traveled down in a hurry to reach their destination, sneaking into an indescribable warmth, causing Katie's breath to hitch. She bit onto Jessie's shoulder, letting her teeth sink in to prevent a sound from passing her lips as Jessie slowly but surely slipped a finger into her. Her thumb eagerly began circling Katie's clit. She watched at her girlfriend's eyes began to roll into the back of her head in pleasure. She added another finger and began to feel Katie roll her hips toward her, matching the pace of her thrusts. She began to place kisses along Katie's neck as she pumped in and out of Katie faster while simultaneously running her tongue along her pulse. The girl bit onto her shoulder harder, feeling the blonde push deeper and deeper inside of her. After only a few minutes, Jessie felt the girl clench around her fingers and make a choked off noise in the back of her throat. She let the girl ride out her orgasm before pulling out, placing butterfly kisses on her neck while she waited for the other girl to recover.
Katie lifted her head up, still glowing from her high. "You see? Didn't hurt me a bit." Jessie smirked and kissed her gently, taking the girl's bottom lip in her own, laying back on her bed and taking Katie with her in the process.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
so i hope this makes up for the delay? i'm really bad at smut so my apologies. but if you liked it i could improve my skills and write more? i'm ok with that.
and i tell you what song it's based on because i hope that you listen to it. it sets the mood, you know?