Author: WaltD PM
A detective's lot is not necessarily a happy one and neither is a constable's. A fine Summer day when what can go wrong does. Calendar Series -Jul-Rated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Words: 2,928 - Published: 06-23-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5160047
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Forever Knight – the Continuing Story.
The characters in Forever Knight were created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen and are the property of Sony/Columbia/Tri-Star. The stories here are fan fiction, in which Nick and Natalie survive "Last Knight", the series finale. Also, Vachon survived Divia in "Ashes to Ashes". This story may be archived wherever by whomever.
Wade Everett is a good-looking, capable, smart-ass, and gay homicide detective who's sometimes full of himself. He's temporarily assigned to the 96th and Nick while Nick's partner, Tracy (who also survived LK) recuperates. He's found out what Nick is.
Calendar Series -- JULY by Walt Doherty
On a clear day, can you see forever, Knight?
On a clear day you can see forever!
-- On a Clear Day, Lane & Learner
"You know, it's not really fair. Day and night are not really equal."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we don't count 'day' as over till the last glimmer of the sun drops below the horizon, and 'daytime' begins with the tiniest sliver of the sun coming up over the horizon. It may not be much, but it's a couple of minutes more of 'day' than of 'night' in the course of a year. It's just not fair."
"Don't you think you're complaining just a little too much?"
"No, 'cause another thing, the nicest part of the year is Summer and it just so happens that Summer has the longest days of the year. It's not fair."
"Life's not fair, kiddo. So, what else is new?"
"Well, it seems that 'unlife' isn't fair either!"
"The Captain wants me at the Division picnic, but it's in the daylight, in an open park, . . . . Stop laughing, I don't think having one of your best detectives burst into flames and evaporate would boost morale."
"It might for Moore and a couple of IA goons. They've hated your guts as long as you've been here. What'd you do to them anyway?"
"Ancient history. Anyway, you know I can't show up for the ball game."
"No, but you can show up for the barbecue. That doesn't start till six, and there ought to be enough shadow for you to lurk in if you come a little after seven. Be glad they didn't ask you to pitch," he said laughing again.
Flashback: Summer in Brabant – c. 1200
Summertime, and the Livin' is easy
-- Summertime, Porgy & Bess
A picnic on the river. A couple sitting on a blanket in a field overlooking a small river, a few children running around playing, a table in the background ladened with picnic and food stuffs, a few local dignitaries and several servants in attendance standing in the background.
Talk about having the 'Blues'.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
There ain't no cure for the summertime blues
-- Summertime Blues, Eddie Cochran, The Who, et al.
"It's an emergency, the storm knocked out half the traffic lights, there's a semi-royal visit, and a good quarter of the force out with the flu – everybody's being called in on traffic duty, day and night. You're just going to have to cover up somehow. We need everyone in the field; everybody's got to wear their constable outfits. Look, just get as ready for it as you can; I'll see if I can't keep you at the Division to co-ordinate things. At least you'd be inside," the Captain said.
"O.k.. It looks like we've got to fill in on the day shift for a while. The Cap tried to get you out of it, but the powers-that-be said to wear a burka if you have to."
"Well, you know, you could. You could make it out of solid material that would block all light from getting through, any extra weight wouldn't bother you either.
"Plus, look, we go together. That way I can cover for you a lot, or split details with you so you work inside and I do outside. With a little effort, I think we can make it work."
"Why not use some of the lytoveuterine stuff?"
"Too dangerous. One of the side effects is euphoria. Can't afford to be giggling and hap-, hap-, happy in the face of the storm, royalty, and flu."
"Yeah, I guess there is that."
"I've got a vial in the car for a real emergency."
Could it get any worse?
Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
Dear, dear! What can the matter be?
-- Oh, Dear – Trad. children's song
"Hey, I know, we'll do a run through the leather community. That way, you can dress from head to toe in leathers and nothing will expose you to the sun. You could even wear a hood!"
"I don't think so."
"O.k., no mask, but in full leathers and dark shades, all you'd need is a little opaque make-up for your face."
"You just want to see me in full leather, don't you?"
"W-e-l-l . . . I wouldn't object," he leered.
"W-e-l-l . . . it ain't gonna happen."
"On the other hand, a full leather outfit would keep the sun off you. And, gloves wouldn't look out of place either. Hey, what about the Mounted Unit. It'd be perfectly natural to be wearing leather sitting up on a horse.
Anyway, if nothing else, you can go jump in your car trunk, I'll just tell everyone you're on a bathroom break." He smiled one of his best grins, but it seemed to be wasted on his partner.
Nick said to himself, "Good grief, 800 years of experience and I'm directing traffic. What else drastic can happen?"
You had to ask.Have you heard? It's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars.
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
-- Well, Did you Evah! – Cole Porter
"C'mon, Knight, we've got to run down to the Zoo – the elephants have escaped."
"Nick, listen, we just got a new ransom note from Vudu!"
Natalie rushed in and shouted to Nick, "Corpses, they're coming into the morgue like flies on poop, and, Nick, they've all got two holes in the neck, is this something we should worry about?"
"Hey, Nick, a meteor just crashed into Lake Ontario; there's a tidal wave headed straight for us."
"God, what else can go wrong?" he said.
LaCroix shouted at him over the din, "Come, Nicholas, we are leaving – let the cattle take care of themselves. Come! It is time to move on!"
"I shouldn't have asked what else, should I?"
Nick looked up and said softly, "Now would be a good time to wake up from all this."
He felt a poke in his side. Wade was elbowing him.
"Earth to Nick, Earth to Nick! C'mon, let's go fella, We can go to my apartment. I've got some leathers that'll fit you and my neighbor can do something with some face paint make-up.
"C'mon, snap out of it. We gotta be downtown in 30 minutes! Sheesh!"
Nick had the good grace to look embarrassed, "Coming, coming, I'm on my way. Leather? Face paint?"
"Yeah, I have a leather constable's uniform – don't ask."
Nick started to respond, thought better of it, shut his mouth, and just shook his head.
The two detectives left the squad room together.
Daylight becomes you, it goes with your eyes..
-- Moonlight Becomes You – Bing Crosby
"That's 'Moonlight becomes you, it goes with your hair'!"!
. . . "Aw, Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!"
"You looked good in that constable's uniform," Wade said.
"It's amazing what a good tailor can do," Nick replied.
"You had yours tailored? No wonder you looked good in it. Too bad it's not UV proof."
"Yeah, there is that," Nick sighed.
"Look, it couldn't work out better. You've got a full helmet and the face plate is dark and filters ultraviolet. You've got a solid dickie around your neck, a complete leather jacket and gloves and leather boots. the only thing that's not leather are the pants and I've got those for you – you'd have to look twice to see that they aren't fabric. I know it's a motorcycle cop's uniform rather than a constable per se, but no one's going to complain."
"How is it that you have all this stuff?"
"How is it that I have --- remember I was a judge at the Mr. Leather Toronto contest? What do you think the word 'leather' connotes in that instance? You know one of my things is leather; another is Uniforms. Thank goodness for you, I've got a couple of complete leather uniforms. And, no, you don't want to know," he said smiling. "Or, come to think of it, maybe you do. I'd just love to show it all to you sometime."
"You know, you give new meaning to 'leer', guy."
Ride! Ride my See-saw
-- Ride my See-saw – Moody Bluesride that bike!_
"Whaduya mean you've never driven a motorcycle! You've got a friggin' Harley in your friggin' living room!"
_Well, ya certainly ain't gonna
"No, It's a Norton Commando, and now that push has come to shove, I've never driven it." (Norton Motorcycles, .com. There are some nice photos of vintage bikes available though the site.)
"Oh, lord, give me strength."
He started to chuckle. He chuckled louder. He broke into a wide smile and laughed out loud. Nick gave him a dirty look and said, "It's not funny!" Wade guffawed! He doubled-over laughing so hard.
"The hell it's not!" he said. "Don't you see the irony in it? Like I said, you've got a friggin' motorcycle in your friggin' living room and you friggin' can't ride it! It's friggin' hysterical!"
"And, your 'frigging' point?" Nick said through clinched fangs.
"Ha! Probably that you're as weird as the rest of us humans. Lordy, I'm beginning to think the normalest thing about you is that you're a vampire." To Nick's annoyance, he was still chuckling over it.
Wade just shook his head. He continued, "You're probably right: you don't 'drive' a cycle, you 'ride' it. If you 'rode', you'd know that. Well, look, it's not that hard. Anyway, my license is still good, I'll 'ride' us over. With the helmets and stuff, nobody'll know who's drivin' anyway. You just park it on the side of the street, then you keep to the center of the road and direct the traffic. All you have to do is ride with me!
"Sheesh! The man has a major cycle just 'cause it looks good – Man, that's something superficial I would do, not you. You're supposed to have more substance than that!"
"Well, Wade, I hate to disappoint you, but I haven't ridden it 'cause it's not insured. Besides I never thought I'd have to plan my life around your requirements and expectations!" he said with some exasperation.
"Uh, well, yeah. You're right, but geez, you've never been tempted?"
"Tempted, I am. All the time. LaCroix is right sometimes," Nick said while glaring at Wade, "It's very satisfactory to drink the blood of a smart-alec, if only to shut him up."
"Um. I meant about riding the bike, but point taken. I'll shut up." He shut up.
Uh, directing traffic is not the same thing as trafficking!
Over under sideways down,
Backwards forwards square and round.
When will it end, when will it end
-- Over, Under, Sideways, Down – Yardbirds
Five minutes later, "Alright!," Nick shouted, "Talk. The hurt little boy look is driving me crazy! And I'll get the bike, o.k.? God, you're almost as much of a pain in the ass as Schanke – uh, as, as Schanke was."
"As long as it's been, it's still hard to deal with, huh?"
"Uh, yeah, guess so. I didn't want a partner at first, especially him, but he grew on me. Now, I really miss him.
"I never did tell him about me, although I think he knew actually. It makes me sad 'cause I think I really could have trusted him. Now, I'll never have the chance to know."
"Well, ya got me, Nick. That's gotta count for somethin'!" Wade said smiling brightly!
"I can't count backwards into negative numbers!" said Nick. "Yeah, let's go get that traffic moving. Show the constables what a detective can do."
"Y-e-a-h, ri-g—h---t! Ohhhh Kaaay!" Wade said dubiously.
"Nick! Were you ever actually a constable? Do you really have any idea what they do, what they have to put up with?"
Nick laughed, "Yeah, other than smart-ass detectives trying to teach them how to do the jobs they've been doing quite well for years? Uh, actually, no, I wasn't a constable, but I was a patrolman in Chicago – it wasn't that different -- and I talk with these guys. I know what they do, I like them, and I respect them as well. I know they have a hard row to hoe. I like to think they like and respect me as well."
"You may be coming around, Knight! Yeah, they do like and respect you. Now, can we go direct traffic?"
"Lordy, couldn't they have at least found us a shady intersection? I hope I survive this."
"Aw, kwitcher bitchin, if you start smoking, I'll throw a tarp over you.
"You're all heart, Detective; you're all heart."
A horse is a horse.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse, of course
-- A Horse Is a Horse – the Famous Mr. Ed
FitzWilliams looked down at them from his rather tall horse.
"No, FitzWilliams," Wade responded, "he can't take the helmet off. Some part of the thing broke; we're probably going to have to cut it off. In the meantime, sir!, isn't his i.d. and my word enough? It's not like we going to divert his lordship to a brothel or something – not that he wouldn't mind, you know. Or, make him sit through 18 red lights. Give us a break."
"Oh, g'wan, get outa here, go shunt traffic into the river, for all I care," FitzWilliams said and cantered off.
"Is the Mounted Unit always that crabby?"
"No," Nick replied, "They're usually quite good. It's all this over-time, and busy work. Hurry up and wait. Get over there and watch traffic – don't direct it, or move it, just 'watch it'!
"What'd'he want, anyway?"
"The Duke's cavalcade is supposed to come through here and he wants us to clear the space. Ha! Well, with any luck the engineers'll get the signals working again quickly and we can get back to our real work—"
Nick laughed, "Yeah, Wade, especially in your case."
He walked back to the intersection, blew his whistle and waved at the car in front of him to proceed.
"Nick, did you ever think of going out for the Mounted Unit? You love horses, I take it."
"Yeah, I do. And, no, they don't need much of a night staff. And while I can see in the dark, the horses have a bit more trouble. Still, it'd be nice once in a while . . . ."
Flashback to several scenes with Nick astride a horse.
A Policeman's Lot
When constabulary duties to be done, to be done
A policeman's lot is not a happy one
-- The Policeman's Song, Gilbert & Sullivan
"The heat doesn't bother you with all that gear on?"
"It's not like I've got a choice, is it? Sweat or burn; of the two, I think I'll go with sweat – lots less messy."
"Really, the heat doesn't bother me, and also I don't actually sweat. Although, sometimes, we do sweat blood. Still, as long as I keep the helmet on, or at least until dark . . . ."
Wade said, "Ya know, do you have any of that stage make-up on? It won't run under the heat and inside your helmet, and if your face is coated, then you actually could at least open the faceplate. And if you keep the shadows over your face, and make it quick, you could get away with showing someone a flash of your face. At least enough to shut them up."
"Umm," Nick said.
"That's it? 'Umm'?"
"Hey, it's not like I planned all this out – how often would something like this come up? You do what you can, and you don't over-do 'cause then you'd be spending more time on preparation and never get to the actual work."
Wade said, "Yeah, just like regular policework!"
"Ha!" said Nick,"C'mon, traffic." They went back into the intersection to direct the cars this way and that.
What a day, what a day!