The Problem with Jet Judo: One would think that a near-death fall would be the ultimate downfall of Jet Judo. True, it was a problem for the Autobot and Decepticon involved, but there was a second reason Ratchet didn’t want the twins so close to the ‘Cons. Crack-pairing. G1.

Rating: Mature for graphic details.

Disclaimer: If only, if only, the plot bunny sings.

XXX

“Okay younglings, pay attention. I will not repeat myself,” said the yellow medic as he stepped into the center of the room, the younglings all falling silent around him. “You have all been prepped on safe interfacing, but I find it best to remind you because I’ve seen far too many mechs come into my medical bay complaining about consumption problems or transformation pains. When, in the end there was nothing wrong with them … they were merely Heavy with sparklings.

Remember, not all the population is made by Vector Sigma. In fact, I’m sure a collection of you were spark-born, which should serve as a warning to you. Spark-births, especially for mechs, are painful and sometimes even deadly if assistance isn’t found quickly. So, unless you are planning to bond with your spark-mate, leave your chassis closed. I’ll repeat that last line. Leave your chassis closed. You do not have to interface with a mech to get Heavy. You merely have to combine your sparks. You may think, just because you kept the spark-chamber glass closed, you’re safe. Wrong. That much energy jumping through your chassis shorts out commands. It may open without you even knowing it.

Then, next thing you know, two months later your consumption has skyrocketed, it pains you to transform, and you’re getting a bulge in your midsection. And after the first month and the first trimmest, when he sparks drops into your lower abdomen to start the sparkling’s chassis growth, there’s no getting rid of it. It’s dangerous for termination at that point. Bang, boom, you are stuck with it until it pops out in a pile of red energon and oil splatter with you screaming your head off. And don’t even get me started on the father-mech business. You could hate his innards and you’d still have to –”

“S-skywarp, are you taking notes?” said one of the flier’s classmates as he dropped his notepad, his mouth open. “Y-you never take notes … as in … never in existence.”

“Well, let me tell you this Quickspeed. I will never open my chassis to another mech, because I am never ever going to squeeze one of those little monsters out of my port.”

“Well … times change. You might have a spark-mate one day or you might want a sparkling,” said Quickspeed, a lopsided grin on his face.

“Like I said … never opening chassis. I’m going to see if I can get it welded shut actually.”

XXX

A few thousand years later, after a battle, Skywarp lay bleeding on a berth, his optics shivering off and online. The Decepticon medic in command finally pulled his hands out of his current patient and yelled for someone to finish welding the patient shut. Then, with an angry glare, he headed over to the smaller medic that was struggling to open Skywarp’s cockpit, the seeker passed out.

“Why is that seeker still bleeding out?” growled the head medic.

“I c-can’t open his chassis. I-it’s like its welded shut,” grumbled the smaller white medic as he gave one more fruitless tug.

“You’re so worthless. Here, let me tug-guh!” the head medic stopped pulling, and then with a gapping mouth stating. “I-I think he welded its shut.”

XXX

Paw07: Yah, yah, I know. It’s a short intro, but I think everyone can tell where this is going. XD Yep, this is not going to be one of those deep-felt written fics when it comes to plot. This was written on the pure basis that I wanted to torture Skywarp, and maybe write a little smut scene or two while I was at it. There is no direction for this story, not really, but I thought it would be fun to ask the question, “What does Megatron do with pregnant soldiers?” Either way, this won’t be a long or complicated fic, just twistedly evil fun where I torture the crack-pairing involved. Ideas and criticism is welcome. Enjoy.

Furthermore, this is just a taunt from my poll and way to get all giddy about the Revenge of the Fallen.