Compromise

*

I came to a compromise.

It wasn't hard to figure out what to do but the following through with the motion was. I knew I had to sit and wait to see what my father's plans were, wait to see what he would do with his new kingdom. I walked away with Zaon, no complaint from him, no question. He would follow me to the ends of the earth and my heart ached to see his love burning him. I was a flame to hot to hold, he was my ice but I didn't want to lose him. And still he walked alongside me, my lifelong companion.

We hid.

We walked and walked, together, hand in hand until we found a place on Mount Gagazet where we could sit out a year or two, until Zanarkand was forgotten and we were no longer hated and feared. Ever since Lady Lenne had died, relations between Zanarkand and Bevelle had been more tense, neither allowing summoners to pilgrimage to the other place, restricting said pilgrimages. I had met Lenne, just once and was greatly saddened by her death and the death of her fiance. I turned to stare into Zaon's concerned eyes, imaging a life without him. I couldn't. I would never leave him. I would never be able to leave him.

Months passed and I could hear the screams.

The pain and the suffering of Spira became apparent as time passed. We stayed, living off the land and sometimes travelers would stumble across us. They told of a monster, large and grey, taking out it's revenge on all of Spira's machina and large cities, avenging Zanarkand. They often died in our arms, fleeing from some attack further down the mountain. I would send them and my Zaon would tell me they needed me. I told him I needed time.

Time.

I always needed time. I needed to think about what was necessary. Now I knew what my father had created, what he had done. I owed Spira but I owed him too. A compromise was in order. I had an idea what I would do. Little did I know at the time it would involve losing my Zaon, sacrificing him. If I had known what would happen, if I had known how long I would spend without Zaon, how time would drag until I could be reunited on the Farplane, only to find he was not there.

I would never have done it.

I would have told the truth but instead I walked down the mountain, staff in one hand, Zaon's in the other. We emerged and the people cried and ran to us, begging for forgiveness, begging me to make it stop. So I told them what they had to do.

They had to atone for their sins.

They had to give up machina, they had to repent, they had to obey the teachings of Yevon, that I would preach to them. And then Sin would go, Sin would die. But one more thing was needed and that was a pure summoner who had followed the teachings of Yevon to a tee. They would collect all the aeons on what had originally be a pilgrimage, ending their journey in the ruins of Zanarkand where the Final Aeon would be summoned, therefore destroying Sin.

And my father.

I had obeyed my father but I had stayed loyal to Spira and my duties too. I went and journeyed for two years, preaching and teaching them the ways of Yevon, my views strengthened by Sin's resolve to destroy machina. I felt like I was giving something back to all the people who had died in vain for Zanarkand. Spira was now sorry and paying for their deeds. Paying for the deeds of Bevelle. Temples were set about the original Fayth, changes were made to improve the facilities. Summoners became vital for the survival of Spira, instead of Healers and those who performed Sendings.

The Final Summoning and ban on machina were the most important teachings.

And I finally succeeded where my father had failed. I ended the war and the battles, converting the people so they followed blindly what I told them. The Hymn of the Fayth became so because of the stories the Fayth began to sing in sorrow when they saw Sin, the Fayth on Gagazet seeing all of Spira and the pain Sin was to cause. I felt sorrow to. As I traveled, I saw the damage my father was causing and knew I could no longer stay loyal to him. So I took one last pilgrimage with Zaon to summon the Final Aeon, unaware of what it would to, unaware of the cost.

The costs too great to bare.

We journeyed to Zanarkand, horrified when we found our home so desolate and lonely. We walked to the core, to where our modest temple had once stood. We found a sphere, left there by my father for he knew I would disobey eventually. It was the instructions on how to create the Final Aeon. I nearly got up and walked out there and then but Zaon stopped me. He said he would willingly sacrifice himself to create the bond necessary to do the deed. I wouldn't, no couldn't, kill the one I loved. But he stopped me, thrusting his own sword into his stomach. I had to carry on the ceremony, in order to make sure his life was not wasted.

I sobbed and grieved as I performed the prayer needed to turn him into my trusted aeon.

When he was formed, I no longer recognized him. There was no body left to Send or cremate, no one to sob over. I was alone. My father had finally taken everything I had ever cared about, ever loved, away from me. I was going to destroy him if it was the last thing I did.

And it was.

Little did I know he had tricked me. I died in the process and so did my Zaon. But in our deaths, Sin was reborn.

The cycle would continue every ten years.

And all I could do was point other summoners in the painful direction I had taken.

Unsent.

Tricked by my father, I had sown the seeds he had wished and Spira was lost to corruption.

I had lost my husband and my humanity and soon I began to believe what I was saying. I forgot what it meant to be human. I forgot that he was lying. I believed his words. I began to believe that what I was doing was right.

But I was wrong.

No time to stand still.

Change is afoot.