Author: Shihouin Yoruichi PM
Yoruichi is the only person who Rukia knows can single-handedly overpower the sneaky shop-keeper. UraharaYoruichi crackfic.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Yoruichi S. & K. Urahara - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 06-25-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5167111
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer- I do not own any of these Bleach characters. They belong to Tite Kubo.
This is a total crackfic!! Enjoy ;D
Yoruichi yawned lazily as she watched Urahara busily working at an experiment of some kind. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes which told her that he was clearly up to something. What it was, Yoruichi did not find out until a couple days later.
She received a frantic call from someone who was desperately summoning her. She later recognized the caller to be Kuchiki Rukia. She was at Karakura High apparently and she begged the Shihouin beauty to come at once. Yoruichi was there in a flash. She was a bit taken aback at the ruffled appearance that greeted her. Rukia seemed to be in a panic, a rare occurrence for the smart Kuchiki.
"What happened here?" Yoruichi probed curiously. Rukia related the story in dismay.
During classes earlier, Rukia's hollow detector sensed four nearby hollows. Ichigo and Rukia promptly used the new gigai that Urahara had given them the day before. The scientist had taken Kon and Rukia's previous gigai in for a "check-up inspection", and had given them those to use as a replacement in he meantime.
They quickly dispatched of the hollows and returned to the school shortly later, only to find their class in a frenzy. A horrified Rukia stared with bulging eyes, reddened cheeks and a hanging jaw as she saw her look-alike posed coquettishly on the teacher's desk. Her gigai was flirting outrageously with her handsome sensei. Everyone else in the class saw 'Rukia' tug Kazuma-sensei's tie and whisper something inaudibly into his ear, very seductively. The scene made all of her classmates wear the same expression that Rukia had on- their eyes flew wide open and their jaws dropped in shock. Some of the bold girls were squealing with delight and encouraging 'Rukia' on as she made obvious moves on their gorgeous English teacher.
Rukia blinked. She couldn't believe her eyes. What the hell? We were just gone for a little over ten minutes. What on earth was going on? And why is my gigai behaving so…outrageously? Rukia quickly scanned the room for Ichigo's gigai, and there it was- sitting with the most placid, docile look ever. An alarming thought dawned on the Kuchiki's sharp mind, but she didn't dwell on it at the moment. She had to do something quickly! Then Ichigo, who was still standing at the window sill beside her, snickered and went over to his gigai. Rukia thought she saw a smirk on his face before he took off, but she put that to that back of her mind. She had other things to deal with at the moment.
She hastily stepped forward to her own gigai, and re-entered her body, immediately removing herself from the very suggestive position that her body was previously in. Then she pulled out 'chappy the rabbit' to fix things. As she activated the device, Rukia remembered that this was not 'Chappy'. It was another kioku-chikan (memory replacement device) that Urahara had given her along with her new gigai.
Rukia groaned inwardly when it became apparent that her peers' memories were not replaced in the way she had hoped. Instead, the device seemed to heighten their senses somewhat. All those in the classroom, including her teacher, looked as though they were experiencing their wildest fantasies. They all started to behave erotically, with the exception of the five people on whom the device had not affected, namely Ichigo, Inoue, Ishida, Chad and Rukia herself.
Rukia panicked as the situation worsened. She was still situated at the front of her class when she suddenly felt a firm grip on her waist and her affected sensei planted a hungry, lustful kiss on her lips. Rukia was infuriated. This Kuchiki was not going to take any of that nonsense! She kicked her handsome sensei and relieved herself from his grasp. Then the raven-hared beauty ran over to her four friends as they gathered to assess the situation.
Upon Ishida's request, she hurriedly explained that her kioku-chikan was 'faulty'.
"So what the hell are we going to do now?" Ichigo demanded, "We can get in serious trouble if this continues."
There was no response. Neither of them knew what to do, not even Ishida. They were at a loss for words.
"Hmph, there's only one thing we can do now." They all stared at Ichigo expectantly.
"We must knock them all out and find a solution by the time they wake up."
Their hopeful stares then changed into horrified scowls. What? That is unheard of! Is he out of his mind?
The first to agree however, was Ishida. "It seems like we have no other choice," the Quincy inserted.
HUH? Ishida was always the last one to go along with Kurosaki's plans, but here he was, quickly agreeing to such a ridiculous idea! But the more they thought about it, he was right. They had no other choice.
"And that's how everything was able to 'settle down'" Rukia concluded. Yoruichi's expression was mixed with bewilderment and pure amusement. Never before had the great Shihouin heiress ever heard of such a thing! Her innate rush for thrills had her eyes dancing with laughter. But still, the way they handled the situation was really…desperate. She frowned, but her lips still gave away her excitement.
Seeing Yoruichi's frown, Rukia hastily added, "We didn't hurt anyone. We just added some force to everyone's pressure point. And I called you over as soon after. Ichigo, Inoue, Chad and Ishida are in the class, because the others can awake at anytime now," she reminded her uneasily.
Yoruichi had many things to ask regarding the matter, but she put her questions on hold, remembering the main concern. "Luckily, I have another memory replacement device with me. Take me to the class, Rukia."
Yoruichi had transformed into cat form so that her presence wouldn't be too noticeable at the school's premises. She sat on the school wall and watched from afar as the commotion dissolved. All those in the classroom had woken up easily and things carried on as if nothing even happened. Now, to get to the source of the problem, Yoruichi thought silently as Rukia walked towards her.
"Arigatō gozaimasu, Yorucihi-dono, Rukia bowed politely.
The kuroi neko saw that the Kuchiki was in a much calmer mood. "Rukia," she began ,"Do you have any inkling as to what may have caused this incident?"
"Yes!" Rukia pumped her fists into the air and exclaimed furiously. "That damn Urahara gave Ichigo and me the gigai that Matsumoto-san and Hitsugaya-taichō used when they came to Karakura town! He also altered the kioku-chikan! The next time I see that man, I will beat him to pulp!"
Yoruichi let out a little snicker. It was just like she suspected.
"Yoruichi-dono, would you please retrieve my real gigai and chappy for me?" Normally, I'd handle that damn Urahara by myself, but it's different now. The sneaky shop-keeper had really outdone himself this time, and there was only one person that Rukia knew could really overpower him.
She stared hopefully at the neko.
"Yes, Rukia. Don't worry yourself. I'd straighten Kisuke out for you," Yoruichi laughed. "I'd be back shortly." With that, the black cat disappeared from her sight.
Yoruichi, still in cat form, entered the backroom of Urahara's shop. She was greeted immediately.
"Yoruichi-san, I've been expecting you," Urahara slurred slyly.
Yoruichi stopped the chit-chat and cut to the chase. "Kisuke, where's that girl's gigai and memory replacement device?"
"Yes." Yoruichi eyed him knowingly. She knew that there was something more behind his actions, and she was going to find out. "Why did you purposely give her Rangiku's gigai? You must have known the uproar that would have caused at school."
Urahara grinned, knowing that she was on to him. "It's been too quiet these days," he smiled lazily.
Yoruichi ignored the comment, determined to get to the point. "Are you finished with the Ichigo's modified soul?"
"Yes. I finished with Kon since yesterday," his eyes twinkling.
"Why didn't you returned it," she asked wryly.
"I made a deal with Kurosaki-san."
Ah! That was it! That was what Yoruichi was waiting to hear. She suspected that it was something like that.
"What kind of deal?" she prompted.
"Kurosaki-san kept complaining about Rukia's gigai. He said it 'annoyed the hell out of him' and that he hated 'the cutesy tone' she always used. And then he struck a deal with me, and for my part of the agreement, I replaced Rukia's gigai and must keep the original one for a week at least. Of course Kurosaki-san didn't specify a gigai, so I decided to make things interesting by giving her Matsumoto-san's old gigai. The new kioku-chikan was just to add to the fun," Urahara concluded lightheartedly.
Yoruichi took a while to reply.
"Kisuke," she began slowly, "You know that Rukia is in that Quincy's class, right?
"Kurotsuchi Mayuri implanted bacteria within Uryū to monitor his action. He sees everything that happens with Uryū. What I'm implying, Kisuke, is that a video of the commotion that took place in the class with Rukia today, could easily fall into the hands of Kuchiki Byakuya."
Urahara twitched, "Yare, yare. Byakuya-san would be at my neck with Senbonzakura if he found out."
Yoruichi snorted at the thought itself. "Anyway Kisuke, give me the items so that I can return it to Rukia."
"I can't do that Yoruichi-san. I made a deal with Kurosaki-san, so I have to keep these for a few days." With that, he gathered the articles on the desk and disappeared.
"Shunpo," the neko muttered.
Urahara didn't get too far when Yoruichi suddenly blocked his way. She stopped him in his tracks. "You may have made a deal with Ichigo, but I promised Rukia that I'd have her things back by today. Who do you think you're running from, Kisuke?"
Urahara stared at the fully transformed and naked former Second Squad Captain, Shihouin Yoruichi, nicknamed 'Shunshin' (Flash Goddess). He knew he couldn't outrun her.
Before he could put up a fight, Yoruichi commented slyly, "You never got accustomed to seeing me naked, ne Kisuke? You still gaze like that each time," she grinned brazenly.
Then with swift feline-like movements, she reached into his pocket and took out the items. After flashing him a quick wink, she disappeared.
Okay, this was completely random! A total crackfic!
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