Disclaimer: I only own this story.
A/N: Thanks to Judy and the readers!

*The Real Me*

Topanga’s POV

No one knows what I’m hiding or why. No one would understand, so I don’t waste my time bothering to explain it. Ever since I finished college a year ago nothing has been the same, especially me. No-one knows that sometimes at night I wish I had failed high school and college, so that I could still be there right now trying to complete them. No-one knows that ever since my parents got divorced, I have been hanging out with what some might call “the wrong crowd”.

No-one knows any of this because no-one really knows me anymore and it’s because they don’t want to. My old friends don’t understand the new person that I have become. Actually, that’s not true. What I mean is, they don’t understand the real me. I mean I barely understand the real me anymore. So how can I expect anyone else to understand?

But anyway, I have found someone new - someone who seems to understand me. Her name’s Angela and we have been friends for three years now. I haven’t introduced her to Cory or Shawn yet because Angela and I have been dating for 2 months now, and I’m afraid that if I introduce her to them, everything will be ruined. It’s not that I think Cory and Shawn want me to be unhappy, because I know they don’t.

I’m just not sure if they would be able to accept me as I am now. I always knew deep down inside that Cory and I were never going to get married. I just couldn’t bring myself to crush the dreams of my parents, Cory, and his parents. I always knew that I was a lesbian but was always afraid to tell anyone else for fear of rejection. I was always afraid of losing Cory and Shawn as my best friends but not any more.

I am how I am and if the two people who are supposed to be my best friends can’t accept me as I am, then it’s their loss. It’s the middle of the night when I wake up, finally realizing that it’s time for me to tell Cory and Shawn. This was the third time this week that I have had this nightmare and I have finally decided to do something about it. Flipping on the lamp that sat on the bedside table, I quickly grabbed the phone and proceeded to call Cory first.

As I dialed Cory’s phone number, I felt the bed shift as Angela woke up. “What time is it?” She asked softly, shielding her eyes against the bright glare of the lamp’s light. I glanced at the clock and then told her the time. The apartment was silent for a moment as I listened to Cory’s phone ring during which time I had assumed Angela had fallen back asleep.

However I was wrong, for moments later Angela asked, “Are you kidding?” I quickly looked at my girlfriend and told her that it really was one o’clock in the morning. Angela sat up and asked me who I was calling. Putting my hand over the mouthpiece I told her that I was calling Cory and then Shawn, to tell them about our relationship. She had sighed and then nodded, before grabbing her pillow and covering her head with it.

I on the other hand, smiled when Cory finally answered. “Hello?” His voice was rough which normally happened when he was awakened from a deep sleep. “Cory, its Topanga. I just wanted to tell you that I’m a lesbian; that you and I are never going to get married; and that I have a girlfriend whose name is Angela.” Moments later I hung up the phone before he could reply.

I counted to thirty and wasn’t surprised when the phone rang. Picking up the receiver, I wasn’t surprised to hear Cory asking me what was going on. I was however, surprised to hear Shawn ask softly, “Is it true?” After trying to calm Cory down for a moment, I answered Shawn’s question. “Yes. It’s true. Cory and I are never going to get married. I’m a lesbian and I have a girlfriend. Her name is Angela.”

Both of them were silent for a moment, and I tried to guess whether that was a good thing or not. However, my fears were unfounded when Cory said that he was fine with it but that I could have called him at a more decent hour. Shawn pretty much said the same thing, only to Cory. After speaking to both of them, we hung up only after agreeing to meet for lunch tomorrow at the mall.

The next morning when Angela and I arrived at the mall, I decided that it would be best if the three of them were to meet at the same time. This way we could get it over with and then we could all go from there. When the two of us entered the food court in the mall, I looked around and it only took me a moment to spot Cory and Shawn. I quickly started to lead Angela toward their table. When Angela and I reached Cory and Shawn, both of them simply stared at Angela and me for several moments.

When I could take it no longer, I asked if Angela and I could sit down. When they agreed, they scooted over so that Angela and I could take a seat as well. Then I introduced Angela to Cory and Shawn, and for the rest of the afternoon the four of us spent time talking. I spend the time re-learning things about Cory and Shawn.

Angela spent the time learning anything and everything about my two best friends. Suddenly, in the middle of one of Cory’s stories about our childhood days, Shawn interrupted and asked Angela about herself, and about our relationship. Angela patiently answered all of the questions they had, about her childhood and teen years and our relationship. However, when Angela and Shawn both volunteered to get up to go to throw the trash away, Cory and I had a moment alone together.

“So what’s the catch?” I stared at Cory, not understanding what he meant by his question. “What do you mean?” Cory rolled his eyes and asked again. “What’s the catch? Why are you acting like this? I have known you my entire life and you were never a lesbian before you met that woman.” I felt my mouth drop open in surprise at his words.

When I could speak, I had to force myself to reel in my temper as Shawn and Angela joined us once more. “That woman' as you so nicely called her is named Angela. She is my girlfriend Cory and if you want the two of us to remain friends, then you had better accept Angela and the role she plays in my life. I’m a lesbian and I always have been. Why do you think I never encouraged you, your parents, and my parents talk of the two of us getting married, Cory?"

When Cory shrugged, I continued. "It’s because that’s not who I am. I’m not going to be your wife and live with you in a big house with a white picket fence, with 2.5 kids. Like I said a few minutes ago, I’m a lesbian. I like women and am attracted to them. This is the real me and the two of you, and everyone else can either choose to accept it or not. I just don’t care any more.”

Moments later, I grabbed Angela’s hand and we left. I know that I have given Cory and Shawn a lot to think about and I know that it might be a while before I hear from either of them again. Cory and Shawn are my best friends and as much as I want them to accept me as I am, I’m not going to force my life and choices on them. But I’m also not going to just sit around if they decide to be jerks about it. But either way, I know that whatever happens now, whatever they decide, this is going to change our lives forever.

So I hope that things will turn out okay but all I can do is wait. At least I have Angela here with me, so I know that I’ll still have someone who cares, either way this ends up going. I’m afraid of the waiting. I’m also afraid of losing Cory and Shawn. I don’t know what I’ll do if they don’t accept me.

The end.