Most Unexpected

by: HulaHula

Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter universe do not belong to me. They belong to Jo Rowling.

Luna opened her eyes to sunlight filtering through her open shutters and the smell of extremely acidic cleanser. She sat up quickly, untangling herself from the linens.

What was that awful smell? Had she left something on the boil?! She was always so careful…

It was only after she’d jerked her robe on, tying a knot at her waist, that she remembered.

Professor Severus Snape was sleeping in her lab. And quite possibly obliterated, based on the sick smell floating through the air.

Pulling her back dooropen, she instantly noticed the billowing puffs of black smoke coming out of the lab chimney. The building wasn’t on fire, but something was seriously aflame within.

She reached for her wand, tucked it into her sleeve, slipped on a couple of fluffy lion slippers and made her way across the slopped lawn to the lab. She felt herself gag as she reached for the door handle. Whatever he was doing/making/creating… it was never going to sell… unless its purpose was to repel anything with nostrils.

At first she couldn’t see anything past the wall of black smoke covering the open doorway. She raised one small hand to cover her eyes, coughing. No sign of the Potions Master. And what was that? The walls appeared to be melting away, long oozing trails of gunk falling to the floor next the front entrance.

Sputtering, she shouted, “ Professor Snape? Hello?”

No response.

Well, there was no way around it; she would have to go in. With a swish of her wand, she conjured a large clothespin from thin air and clamped it firmly over her nostrils.

Venturing into the small room, she noticed her largest cauldron full of bowling red liquid stationed on the floor, where the table used to stand. Beneath it were several chunks of kindle. Against the side wall stood the bed, neatly made, floral sheets tucked under.

Apparently, Snape had not seen fit to place an anti-smoking charm on the fire. Ah yes, he didn’t have a replacement wand yet. Foolish! He should have taken it outside! There are plenty of bare spots, if he’d wished to build a fire!

She quickly extinguished the flame, leaving the wretched potion to cool.

Moments later, the air in the room cleared. Wiping her eyes, she unclasp her nose. The smell was still strong enough to kill a small rodent, but she’d survive.

Just then, she heard the thump of footsteps ascending the front stairs. Snape was clutching a bundle of old rags and holding what appeared to be her large scouring sponge from the greenhouse.

He hesitated at the top step after noticing her. Trying hard not to stare, he took in the over-large slippers, pink robe, and tangled hair falling to one side of her head.

“There was a fire,” she stated the obvious, “But don’t worry, I’ve put it out. If – If –” She paused.

“Put it out?” he snapped. Walking past her, he glanced at the potion. After assessing the walls, now residue free, he released a breath.

“It seems to have been effective.”

Luna glanced around, searching for whatever invisible thing he was speaking of.

“If you wish to brew before you get a wand,” she continued her speech, “There are plenty of places to do so outside. You don’t want to breathe in poisonous fumes.”

Severus dropped his bounty onto the table, now pushed against the back wall. The ridiculous woman was advising him on fumes!

“Right you are, but seeing as I needed the fumes, not the potion, going outside would have been rather pointless,” he drawled.

The girl was silent, starring at him with her enormous blue eyes. He waited for her to speak. After an entire minute, he decided she was waiting for the same thing.

“The walls,” he pointed to the wall behind her with one thin finger, exasperation evident in his voice, “They’re clean.”

Finally, she looked away, admiring the bare walls.

“Indeed,” she said softly.

Another awkward paused fell between them. Or, perhaps it was only awkward for him.

Severus pushed a strand of hair from his face. Luna suddenly pulled her wand from her sleeve and Evanescoed the floors clean.

“I suppose it was time for a much needed cleansing,” her light voice filled the room, “But I’m afraid… since I’ve been experimenting… and you will be as well… it’s really rather pointless to clean. A cauldron or two is bound to explode … eventually.”

Severus felt heat inch up his neck. What was she getting at? It had taken him nearly all morning to build that fire, and even longer to find the needed ingredients in her sloppily arranged cabinet! How dare the witch –?

“I sent an owl to Arthur’s general supply last night… I should be receiving a package this morning.”

Luna watched as Severus smoothed the front of his stained buttoned down shirt. The poor man seemed at a loss for words.

“There’s a new recipe I’ve been working on the past few days. Perhaps you’d like to take a look at it over breakfast…”

His face looks sour all scrunched like that, she thought, it does smell terrible in here.

Clenching the edge of the table behind him, Severus spoke, “Yes, I’ll review it.”

“Hmm…” was all she replied. With a small wave, she tucked her wand back into her pink sleeve and exited.

Grabbing the sponge, Severus threw it beneath the table. This might have been a mistake, agreeing to work for Loony Lovegood.

It was painfully obvious that the ever-constant frustration of living with her was going to be his biggest challenge.

Disgruntled, and exhausted, he sat on the bed. Sleep had evaded him most of the night. Taking a deep breath, he cringed. Hopefully the sulfuric stench would fade quickly. Turning his head, he took a whiff of his own shirt.

Maybe it’s a good thing, he thought, then, at least, I won’t be smelliest thing in the room…

Two oddly colored eggs and a slice of toast were presented to him half an hour later. Another chair had magically appeared on the other side of her tiny dining table, along with salt and pepper dispensers.

Luna had changed out of her pink robes into more suitable lab robes. Unfortunately, they had a wildly exaggerated pink elephant pattern all over them.

Severus noticed her hair had been cleaned and was carefully pulled back. Her skin was extremely pale and very smooth. Lovely, he might have described it, if it weren’t on her.

She hadn’t spoken a word when he’d knocked on her back door. It had opened on its own, inviting him in. Moments later he’d found himself comfortably seated and served. Still, not a peep from Ms. LoveSnortkack.

Severus couldn’t decide if he liked her silence anymore than her talking. Grasping his bent fork, he began eating. It was delicious.

Her delicate hand pushed a piece of parchment across the table, beside his plate. It had several notes, some scratched out, written across it in fine looped handwriting.

“Ah… yes, of course,” he spoke softly.

The potion was a complicated mixture of healing remedy and bug repellant. A few other ingredients were listed that seemed of no consequence. Strange formulas, indeed, but Severus couldn’t help it… he was a tiny bit impressed.

“What’s it supposed to do?” he asked.

But, before she could answer an owl flew through the window above her sink, landing on the floor with a bang. It had a large box attached to its leg. The bird slumped sideways, exhausted by the load.

Luna gave a happy giggle and reached to untie the package from its deliverer. Severus took another bite of his egg, watching her talk soothingly to the owl. She placed it on a magenta pillow lying on her counter-top, apparently reserved for these sorts of guests.

“The poor things are usually tuckered out after bringing my orders,” she said, patting the bird’s head.

Severus didn’t respond. If she didn’t go into town as often as she had implied, the beasts probably had all sorts of ailments to complain of after carrying her load.

Luna broke the tape on the side of the brown box and began pulling out an assortment of objects, her breakfast completely forgotten. A box of matches, a box of feminine products (causing Severus to look away pointedly), a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans, three separate gallon sized cans of cooking broth, and then, at the very bottom of her parcel, a smaller unmarked brown package.

Standing, she turned to face him suddenly. “Finished?” she asked, glancing at his empty plate. Once again, she didn’t wait for his reply before grabbing it.

“I was thinking of trying that recipe today.”

Severus glanced back down at the instructions.

“I thought of perhaps adding broth… sometimes I find Muggle inventions can be a good addition. I’ll join you in the lab after seeing Freeshia off,” she patted the owl once more.

Severus stood, understanding his dismissal. He wanted to thank her for the food, but couldn’t find it within himself to say so.

When he reached the door, she spoke again, “The smaller parcel is yours. Take it with you.”

Confused, he bent to retrieve the unopened package. “Mine?” he questioned.

“Yes. Never fear, I know you enjoy black.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Severus waited for further explanation, but it never came. She had already turned back to the owl, and began singing to it.

As soon as he returned to the lab, he hurried to untie the package. Thankfully there wasn’t a bomb or farting machine hidden inside.

Running a long thin hand over the soft material, he found a brand-new pair of black robes, simple, but perfect for lab-work. He quickly tore out of his disgusting white shirt and trousers.

The robes were slightly loose around the torso, but otherwise, perfect.

He blinked, looking down at himself. There was no reason for her to have bought them. Absolutely no reason. He could easily have made potions in his tattered garments.

His hand traveled over something embroidered on his chest. He plucked at the fabric, drawing it forward, so he could read the label. He swallowed. Carefully designed, the pocket was covered with a letter “S.”

I suppose this means I have to stay… he thought. And, for the first time – in a very long time – Severus Snape felt himself smile.

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