|Under the Full Moon
Author: Jayeliwood PM
Edward left Bella emotionally half dead in the woods, or did he? What will happen once Bella takes the fateful leap off the cliff? What will Edward do to save her, and himself? What changes if he never left. Starts off at the jump, AU, more mature.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 26 - Words: 89,936 - Reviews: 2,765 - Favs: 1,462 - Follows: 755 - Updated: 11-01-09 - Published: 06-27-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5172799
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey everyone, new story. Yeah, I know I know. It's probably been done before but I want to do my own version of it. This is my story of what would have happened if Edward had left in New Moon, but... not exactly. Hope you enjoy!
Edward left Bella in the forest after her birthday, broken and lonely. But, how far did he really go? The beautiful velvet voice echoed inside of her head as the adrenaline pumped through her veins. If she couldn't have him any other way then she would do this, anything to be close to him once again. For he was her everything and without him, she felt like she had nothing.
Nothing to live for.
Nothing to love.
Nothing to lose.
So, she jumped. The beautiful voice screamed after her and once again she felt like she was in heaven. She had her angel once more.
I watched as she stood over the cliff, just glancing at the very edge. Bella just seemed curious to what the waters below looked like, curious like any other human would be. I didn't think she was in danger from falling from where she was standing, so I wouldn't step in. I wouldn't step in unless I thought I needed to. I hated how many times I felt like I had to.
My little danger magnet.
Yes, I'll admit it. I never left. How could she believe that I would? Why would I leave her? She was everything good in my life, the only thing that was ever pure and decent. But, I couldn't be with her anymore. I couldn't be with her and protect her at the same time. I was too dangerous, far far too dangerous. But now it would seem that she was bound and determined to kill herself with all the stupid things she was doing. My plan was just to stay in the shadows until I could kill Victoria. But then, then she started hanging out with that werewolf and riding that damned motorcycle, along with a few other stupid things. I had to do something to make her stop sometimes but it didn't really think it was working all that well. She was doing it more and more often. I couldn't handle it if she did hurt herself. If she died, then so did I. If there was any chance of me going to heaven at all, I hoped to that God would let me follow her. It was more than I deserved though.
I had to do something, even if it did make her think she was crazy. I think she could handle crazy more than the other options.
But, apparently she could not.
She started from a dead run and jumped off the edge of the cliff, arms spread wide like she was going to take off into flight. As if she was a bird.
"No!" I shouted from my tree branch, instantly leaping down to my feet as I chased after her.
She was trying to kill herself. Bella was trying to kill herself because of me. What had I done to her? What kind of monster was I really? I couldn't live without her. If she died then I would literally feed myself to the wolves. Let them rip my body apart just to end my pain and suffering. My heart would be gone without Bella anyway. Without Bella, I had no soul. She was everything.
What the hell was she doing!
I leaped after her, willing my body to go faster. I willed my body to catch up to hers so I could brace her for impact at the very least. The fall could break her neck, possibly. If it didn't, I could always save her from drowning but if it did... I could... I could...
No, that wasn't a possibility. I would not damn her to hell. I could not drag her into this life.
All the rules seemed to be different for me except for one thing. Gravity. Gravity worked on me the same as it did for her.
Bella looked like an angel, an almost serene appearance on her face as she fell towards the watery earth. Her eyes were closed and her arms were up, like she was reaching towards the heavens now. She seemed truly at peace. I half way expected her to start flying and prove to me that she really was the angel I always thought her to be.
Jesus, what had I done to her. I prayed in those few moments. I prayed for her safety and her forgiveness. I prayed for my damned soul. I just hoped that I had not already cursed her as well.
She dipped below the water, feet first thankfully, with a loud splash. I could deal with broken ankles or legs but I hadn't heard any cracking, though it was hard to tell. There was so much other noise.
God, why wasn't I going faster? I wasn't moving fast enough. I needed to move faster!
I turned my body so my arms were facing the water, diving as gracefully into the water as possible. I could move faster from the start this way. I searched frantically in the murky depths for my beloved, my eyes never blinking. It took a lot longer than I wanted it to. Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes seemed like hours as I swam deeper and deeper into the cold black water. Finally, I found Bella somehow. Her eyes were open and her hands were raised upwards like she was reaching for me. I saw a brief smile cross her lips before her eyelids drooped. She had passed out.
No. No she couldn't drown. I would not let this happen. What? What had I done?
I grabbed her by the waist and swam up to the surface of the water. Bella's head flopped back with the force, her mouth hanging open but no air coming in or out. Her heart was still beating though. That was a good thing. That was something at least.
I carried her back to the shore of first beach, treaty be damned. I didn't care. Putting her down as carefully as possible I laid her body onto the rocky beach and looked over her frantically. Where to start? I knew what to do. I had two damn medical degrees. This should have been simple. My mind wasn't working anymore.
Check her airways, my mind screamed at me as it went into autopilot. Make sure nothing is in her mouth.
I tilted the back of her neck up carefully so that her chin was more even, it arching slightly. As soon as I did so her body jerked wildly and she rolled to the side, spewing salty water from her lips. She coughed and coughed, never once opening her eyes as her hands wrapped tightly around her stomach. "Oh," she groaned softly when finally it all seem to come out, spit still dripping down her chin. Bella's head flopped onto the ground as she took in large gulps of air, her chest heaving as her body shook. I'm sure she was cold. I'd have to get her out of those clothes soon.
And then she said something that surprised me for some reason.
She haven't even opened her eyes yet! How could she know I was here? Did she really see me in the water. It took a moment to shake myself out of the shock, kneeling beside her as my hands slid down her arms gently. "I'm here, love. It's okay now. I'm here."
"Edward," she whimpered again, her voice so pitiful and weak. I had done that to her and I hated myself.
"Sh," I hushed her. She didn't need to worry about me. I wasn't going anywhere until I knew for sure she was okay. "It's alright. Do you hurt anywhere else?"
Her head shook slowly as she rolled back onto her back. She brought her hands up to her face, rubbing it roughly as she let out a jagged cough. "My throat hurts. It burns."
"I know the feeling," I laughed almost hysterically. Relief flooded my system, my nerves tingling with the sensation. She was alive. My love was alive. I had saved her. I could save her. Then the anger came through when I remembered what she had done to herself. "Bella, why did you try to kill yourself? Why?"
"To hear you again. I wasn't really trying to kill myself. I just wanted to-" She stopped, laughing softly in a hoarse voice. "I got my wish. I've lost it. Go ahead though. Tell me how stupid I am. Tell me how idiotic. I did a good job though. It's the best it's been in months. It's like you're standing right in front of me. Your voice is so clear. It's better than the first time."
I shook my head. She still thought I was a hallucination. Taking her hands away from her eyes. "You did it to hear me? Why? Bella, I'm right here. Answer me. I asked you not to do anything stupid. You promised me."
"You broke promises, too." She said, her eyes still screwed tightly shut like she was afraid to open them.
"DAMMIT," I shouted, finally losing it. "Open your eyes! I am right here. I'm right here." I nearly wept, laying my head onto her stomach. Her heart beat wildly against my face, her body so hot even though I knew she had to be cold. I just had to touch her in this way. I had to feel her. It had been so long. Far too long. "I never left. I never could leave you."
Her fingers roamed through my hair slowly, her thumbs gliding over my temples. I knew the second she opened her eyes because she gasped loudly. "Edward?!"
"I couldn't leave. I was trying to protect you but I failed. I hoped that Victoria would leave you alone if she thought I were gone but she didn't and then the wolves and this. Bella, I failed you. I am so sorry. I was a fool. A stupid old fool," I sobbed against her chest. Every emotion that I had been holding in for months came tumbling out, my heart slowly piecing back together as I held her tiny body against mine. This was so right. This is where I needed to be.
"Edward!" She gasped again, tugging my hair with all her strength. I allowed her to pull me so I could look at how angry she was. I knew she had to be furious. But, she wasn't. Not at all. Instead she was... relieved, it seemed. I wasn't exactly sure. She lunged forward and kissed me, her mouth hot and soft against mine.
Now, Bella and I had kissed in the past, and wonderful kisses they were but this... this was nothing like any of them. It surpassed them all, by far. I felt all of her passion, love, and devotion in her lips. I couldn't hold back. I couldn't hide myself from her any longer. My fingers went to the side of her neck and to her beautiful brown hair as I hovered over her, kissing her with as much passion and power as she could stand. Hot slick tears flowed down her cheeks as she held onto me tightly, air coming heavily out of her nose and flowing over my skin as her tongue slid over my lips. I gasped in pleasure, letting it in my mouth. We had never done this before. With each passing second, it became more wanting and more intense. And more delicious. I felt the passion flow from her very core.
And then I tasted blood.
I bolted away from her, the sweet hot sticky substance just on the tip of my tongue. A tiny droplet rolled down the corner of her puffy lips but what I noticed more was her hurt expression. I had hurt her again. "What? No! Please don't leave me again. Please."
I shook my head, closing my eyes. "No. Blood, your mouth. It's on your mouth. You're bleeding," I stammered out stupidly, the words coming out in spouts.
She rubbed her fingers against her mouth and pulled it back to peer at them. A small smudge graced her now salty flesh, her eyes scrunching up as she looked at it almost as if she was confused by it. She was silent for a long second before Bella stood up quickly and walked towards me with purpose. "Take it. If you're going to leave me again I don't need it. I am nothing without you. TAKE IT!"
She had grown stronger since I had left her in that forest.
"Bella, I can't do that." I whispered, turning my face away. "I won't leave you again. I promise you that. I am so sorry."
She stomped up to me with purpose once again and I expected her to slap me or something along those lines at least but she didn't. Instead, Bella smeared the blood over my lips. "It's yours anyway. Take it."
"I-" I began but the loud growl of wolves filled my ears. I could hear their animal like thoughts, jumbled but angry. Several large wolves came towards us, coming to a stalk before beginning to circle me and Bella.
Broke the treaty, Sam thought.
Get away from Bella, Jacob nearly screamed in his mind, a low grumbling in his chest. He was so angry. I couldn't blame him.
There is blood, Seth seemed concerned for her safety as well.
"I'll leave your land. I only went on it to save Bella. She jumped from the cliffs. Jacob, I thought you were suppose to be protecting her." I accused him. He was falling in love with her and he couldn't protect her either. The thought made me feel not as bad for some reason.
"Jacob?" Bella turned and looked at the russet colored wolf. "Did you know he was here? Why didn't you tell me?" She began to sob heavily as anger spewed from her voice.
"He didn't know," I answered for him before he could even have the thought, his eyes zeroing in on me. "Apparently one blood sucker smells like another. I've also found ways of covering that up."
"How?" She turned back towards me, touching my chest gently with her fingertips. The rumble from all the wolves became louder. "Oh, hush. I'm talking to him."
I almost laughed when they all stopped at the same time, a soft whine from Jacob ending the chorus of noise. "It doesn't really matter right now." There was a sharp growl. "Victoria doesn't now how," I answered some of their thoughts. "Bella, I'm breaking the treaty and I need to leave."
"No! I'm going with you." There was a chorus of barking and growling until the leader yipped loudly.
Where did the blood come from, Sam asked as he muddled through the chorus of other thoughts invading his head. He was getting extremely annoyed at all the noise.
"We... kissed," I said slowly. "It was purely an-"
"It was my fault. I forced myself on him." Jacob barked at her words. "Shut up. It's true. I kissed him. He probably doesn't even want me anymore. I'm the reason there's blood on him. I was taunting him into biting me and he resisted. He told me no."
A painful image of Bella turning in a vampire came into Jacob's mind and I cringed away. "I want that as little as you do, Jacob. I won't change her."
"WHY!? WHY NOT?!" She demanded. "I'm five seconds from death half the time anyway. It's not fair!"
"Do you truly think this is the time and place to discuss that?" I asked in a low voice, tracing her jaw with my fingers gently to get her attention.
She turned her face to the side, giving me the answer to that question. She knew it was not. I was glad she was thinking somewhat rationally at the moment. "I only came onto your land to save her life. Otherwise, Bella would have drowned." The group whimpered and whined, pained at the very thought. "I will leave your land and we can spare any blood shed. I will not return to your land again, unless it is to protect Bella. That is my only reason. I will not harm her or you. Her safety is my only desire."
We can't trust him, was the group thought. That was the group besides Sam, actually. I was glad that he was the Alpha. He seemed to think more clearly than the others. They were more ruled by their emotions.
I walked towards Sam, hand on my heart and Bella protectively behind me. I just hoped a fight wouldn't break out. She could be hurt if there was one. "I only came on this land to protect Bella. I will leave right now. If I hurt her, ever, I will gladly feed myself to you. I will let you rip my body apart. It would be the easiest punishment, too easy. I would deserve so much worse than that."
Leave now and do not return.
"With pleasure," I said, turning my back to the group going insane with anger against Sam's decision. But, they could do nothing against him. He was the alpha. Thank God.
"I'm going with you," Bella repeated her words from earlier, running towards me. I felt her soft hand touching my shoulder blade and I almost burned at the feeling, her touch was so hot. "I won't let you go without me. We need to talk, at least. Please give me some answers. Please, Edward. I need this."
"Are you sure?" I asked quietly, turning to look at her. I kept a close watch on the wolves, ready at the moment's notice to pick her up and dive into the water if needed. I would be faster than them in the water.
"I want to talk to you," she nodded, her hand on my face. Her skin was so soft. It was like she was double checking to see if I were real or not, her fingers curling in to scratch her nails against my cheek though. She still couldn't believe her eyes.
Without a word, I picked Bella up in my arms, bridal style. I wasn't sure she was strong enough at the moment to hold onto my back, especially at a dead run. I needed to get her home and warmed up very soon. I didn't want her to get sick. That was the last thing she needed. There was a loud growling bark from Jacob along with several curse words in his mind but I ignored them as I carried her away. They were nothing but ideal threats anyway. Sam told him to fall back and that there were other vampires to take care of first.
He was exactly right. Victoria was a far worse problem than myself.
So, this one will be updated whenever I can. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to happen in this one though. This will just be something I work on when I have writer's block which has been a lot lately. Also, I haven't done anything really cannon in a while. I do hope you enjoy.
I'm on twitter if you want to find out what's going on with me. Jayeliwood, come take a look if you want. Sometimes there might even be previews! Oh and thanks to all the lovelies on Twitter who give me feedback! Keep it coming! I love it!
How do you think Edward covered his scent from the wolves?