|The heartbeat of my hurt heart
Author: Kit2000 PM
After her graduation, she noticed as he bagan avoiding her. What was wrong? Why did he act like that? Did he really want her to leave? A Kazuma/Fumino fic.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 7,826 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 14 - Published: 06-28-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5174372
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N Hello everyone! This is my first fic on "Faster than a Kiss". I hope you will like it. I had a great time writing it ^_^ By the way, I dedicate this story to my dear sister who wanted to read a fic based on her favourite manga! And she gave me the main idea for this fic.
So, if you have some free time, I will be very happy if your spend it reading this story!
Please read, enjoy and don't forget to review!
The heartbeat of my hurt heart
Something was wrong. She could feel it.
Sensei didn't act like his old self. She felt that the distance between them increased and she had no clue why.
Ever since she finished school he started avoiding her and treating her like she was some kind of a common friend. But the relations between Teppei and him remained the same.
She was 18 now. Two years had passed since the day they got married. She thought that everything was alright and their family life would develop more and more but it seemed as if he wanted to put a bright red cross on her and live his life by himself.
She needed to find a job. Now when she had finished school she could afford it and help sensei with the providence.
Kaji didn't know why but she also felt as if her beloved sensei was trying to push her in Kurosawa's arms. It became a habit to meet him in the places where sensei had sent her to deal with some business. At first she thought that it was a coincidence but those accident meetings repeated almost every day.
When she asked sensei what he planned by trying to make a couple of Kurosawa and her, he just smiled and said that they suited each other. Yes, he smiled but sadness in his eyes couldn't go past her. Kaji told him not to push her away from him and he answered that he never tried. That night she cried into her pillow.
Something was definitely wrong and she didn't know what to do.
She was a grown young woman now. He was madly in love with her though he didn't plan it to happen in the first place. He understood that he couldn't be her real husband. He was some kind of a tutor to her and little Teppei and the marriage was only an excuse to make her stay in the town and not let her make stupid things.
Yes, he knew it, but still he had fallen for her. He loved her not as a sensei loves his students. She wasn't his student anymore.
He loved her as a man. A man, who was 8 years older than her, who had a terrible past and who didn't have any rights to love an innocent girl like her. She deserved a better man, someone who could really make her happy…someone her age. Maybe even Kurosawa-kun. That guy liked her and could make her fall in love with him if he, Kazuma Ojiro, would let him.
Sooner or later she would leave him anyway. It was better to start pretending and show her that he didn't love her. She had told those words to him so many times and still he couldn't believe that someone as pure as her could love someone as terrible as him.
There she was…smiling at him from the next room. She was beautiful as at the first time he met her. He didn't want to hurt her with the way he loved her. She deserved better than that.
His life with this girl was a struggle against himself. He witnessed as she was turning from a teenager into an attractive beautiful young woman. He was longing to embrace her, to feel her warmth, to whisper the words of love into her ear, to get lost in her big innocent yet confident eyes, but as the time was passing by he felt like if he did those things, he would never stop, he would never let her go from his arms, he would never give her to someone else, especially that Kurosawa guy. This love was driving him crazy. He felt fear when he hadn't her near and he felt scared when she was close to him. Scared—because he didn't trust his self-control anymore. There were times when it betrayed him and he ended up doing terrible things to her….like marking her with his kisses on her neck. Only animals could make such low kind of things. And he…was an animal, a lustful animal who hunted his prey.
No. He needed to put an end to that. He didn't deserve her and he needed to let her live her life without his interference. It was impossible that she loved him! She had a feeling of gratitude towards him, that must be it, because he gave her and her little brother a helping hand when they were on the edge of despair. And how could an 18 years old girl love a 26 years old man, who was her English teacher and who had the darkest past the humanity had ever faced?
No! He needed to tear out his feelings for her from his heart. It would be better for both of them. If he would be giving her a cold shoulder, soon she would understand what kind of a person he was and that her feelings for him wasn't love.
So he decided to treat her like no one to him, for her own sake.
He left not even saying goodbye. He wrote a letter to her that told that he had left for teachers' conference in Osaka, and he never wrote when he was coming back home.
His attitude hurt her so much that the first thought that came to her mind was packing her bags, take Teppei and leave sensei's place forever. He didn't care for them; she could tell it by the way he acted. What was wrong? Did she do anything that made him angry with her?
Why did he become so cold to her? Some time ago he was gentle and caring, so why was he so cruel and distant now? He was offending her with such treatment. She had never thought that their relations would face such troubles. It hurt so much thinking about his coldness to her. How many tears did she cry in her pillow because of his indifference?
She missed him…his old him. She missed the person that became the world to her, she missed that secure feeling when he was near, and she missed his smile, his voice and even teasing. She couldn't take it anymore. Why was loving him so painful? Did it mean that she was a burden to him, that it was unbearable for him to live with her and he was just waiting till she graduated to get rid of her?
But what did his words of comfort mean then? Why was he so overprotective about her during all that time? And what about his words of affection towards her, those marks on her neck, those gentle embraces? Was it all an illusion and lie?
Kaji dropped to her knees and cried. She was losing a person she treasured so much again. Her heart was burning with misery as she clenched his letter in her fist. It seemed like he told his last goodbye to her.
At that moment a front door opened and Ryuu-sensei and Teppei walked in. When the little boy saw his sister sitting on the floor and crying, he ran to her and hugged her tightly.
"Buncha? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
She didn't answer. She had no strength to. A letter fell from her hand as she hugged Teppei in return and sobbed into his small shoulder.
Ryuu-sensei approached the girl. Concern and worry were written all over his face. He picked up the paper from the floor and read the content. His eyebrow arched in surprise when he finished reading the letter.
"Why didn't he tell me about the conference?" he asked no one in particular.
Kaji didn't answer, she sat where she was a minute ago hugging the only dear person that she had in her life.
"Ne, Fumino-san? Why are you crying? Maybe I'm not the best psychologist but sometimes it's better to share your worries with someone. You can use me as a friend who is always ready to listen to you" he said softly and placed a reliable hand on her head.
She looked up at the young man with her tearful eyes.
"Teppei, could you please go to my apartment and watch some cartoons till I come and pick you up. I need to talk to your sister".
A 6 years old boy looked at his sensei and nodded sadly taking a key from the guy's hand.
When they were alone, Ryuu-san helped her to stand up and sit at the table. He made some hot sedative tea and gave her a cup of it. Then he sat across from her and asked.
"So, why did he do it?"
The girl frowned.
"I don't know. He acts like he doesn't want to know me"
"I've noticed that he has changed. But I thought it was one of your family fights, so I didn't pay attention".
"He has changed since my graduation. I don't know why. He became very distant, he doesn't talk to me much, he avoids my presence, always leaves me behind and tries to couple me with my classmate Kurosawa-kun. Though his relations with Teppei remained the same. And when I returned home today from finding a job, I noticed a letter on a table. It seems that he wants me to get lost".
The girl chuckled bitterly.
It was terrible to see her so hurt. Her eyes were emotionless, her face was blank and her words sounded like it was all true.
"Don't think about that!" he said finally drawing her attention. "He loves and cares about you, guys. I can't believe that he has changed so much. I'm sure it's a misunderstanding".
"Thank you for encouraging me, sensei" she smiled weakly "but I think I'd better leave this house. I can take care of Teppei and myself from now on. I found a job, so it won't be that hard--"
"Stop that nonsense!" Ryuu-san hit his palms against the table. "If you leave, you will do what he wants you to do. Don't even think about it! If he is so stupid to make you suffer so much, then he will face my fists. But don't play his game. He thinks that when he comes back you will be gone already. No! Show him that you are not that easy to defeat! Make him believe in your loyalty".
"I don't think that it will help…"
"You will never know until you try!" the young man took her hand in his and asked looking seriously into her eyes.
"Fumino-san, do you love Maa-kun?"
Her emotionless eyes showed a little weak spark for a second.
"Yes, I do and that's why it hurts so much".
He rubbed her hand gently and answered with a warm smile.
"That's why you can't give up now. You must melt his cold heart with your love. So, please, stay. Don't worry; I'll help you guys, with everything you need until he comes back. Just don't lose hope. I'm sure he loves you too but something bothers him and that's why he acts like that. It's the most suitable answer to his strange behavior, that's what I think".
Kaji looked at his kind face sadly, but a feeling of gratitude could be read in her big brown eyes.
"Thank you, Ryuu-sensei. If not you, I don't know what I could have done".
"You are welcome, Buncha. By the way, if that Kurosawa guy bothers you, just tell him the truth that you are a married woman" he smirked but his eyes were smiling at her.
She didn't leave sensei's home. Ryuu-san's advice was like a saving boat to her. He helped her to analyze everything and come to the conclusion that it really would be pointless to do what sensei was waiting from her. She loved him after all and she wanted him to know that.
A week later she met Kurosawa at the book store. He was trying to impress her again with his great experience in reading, but then she had finally told him the truth. He was shocked to know that sensei was her official husband. She left him standing alone in a total astonishment and disbelieve from her words.
During all that time sensei was away, she waited for his arrival every day and night. She got a job in a nice café. Ryuu-san offered his help to look after Teppei when she was at work.
And so 3 weeks had passed. It seemed like it had been a whole year without him.
And on the 4th week he came back without a warning. She wasn't at home when he walked in the apartment, neither were Teppei and Ryuu-san.
He entered the room and noticed that everything remained the same as before. She and Teppei were still living in his apartment even after his rude attitude. He really was sure that when he came back, they would be gone. Because no one could keep on living with someone who had betrayed your trust.
He was surprised to see a plate of onigiri on the table in the kitchen. There was a note.
Welcome back, sorry for not meeting you, Teppei is at the kinder garden and I'm at work. Please eat those onigiri that I have made especially for you.
See you in the evening,
Something tightened in his chest. She was waiting for him after what he had made her go through. He felt so guilty. How could he face her after 3 weeks of absence and 2 months of ignorance? She should have hated him, but instead of that she was waiting for him and even cooked onigiri for him .
He took a bite o a rice ball and a gentle smile touched his lips. It had a taste of love and care. Her cooking skills had improved.
The young man changed, took a shower and sat in the living room waiting for his family's return.
Every day she cooked onigiri for him and left them on a table in case he came back when she was at work. But he wasn't coming.
It had been 3,5 weeks and still she had no news about him. But she didn't give up.
On her way back home from work she met Kurosawa. He wanted to talk to her, but she said that she had no time for this. Then he told her that if sensei would ever offend her, she would be always there for her to give her a helping hand. She just smiled and answered that it would never happen because sensei cared about her and he would never make her cry.
When she came home, the door was unlocked. She thought that it was because Ryuu-san brought Teppei home, but when she entered the apartment and saw sensei's shoos, her heart skipped a beat and her eyes widened in disbelief and hope. She quickly took off her boots and jacket and ran into the living room.
There he was, lying on a couch fast asleep. He looked exhausted but refreshed.
Her gaze softened as the tears came to her beautiful eyes. She knelt beside him and looked at his sleeping peaceful face. His glasses were still on his nose and his messy hair was falling on his closed eyelids. He was so handsome in his sleep. Fumino brought her hand to his face unconsciously to take away a little too long forehair from his eyes when a loud child's cry of joy interrupted her innocent intention.
"Maa-kun! You're back!"
The girl jumped away from sensei's side and stood up quickly, trying to control her blush.
The older guy's eyes flew open when he heard Teppei's voice. His face coloured with a bright smile as he stood up and took the boy under his arms and lifted him in the air.
"Hey, Teppei, you've grown a little!"
Ryuu-san approached the startled girl and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Maa-kun, why don't you hug Buncha? She was waiting for you so much" the little boy asked blinking innocently.
The English teacher put the boy on the floor and turned to the girl who was looking at him shyly and unsurely.
He came to her and put a hand on her head. His lips formed into a brief smile.
"Okairi, sensei" she answered weakly.
Ryuu-san noticed a tensed atmosphere between the two and decided to ease it a little.
"Hey, why didn't you tell me about that conference? You could have warned me that you were leaving".
Grey-blue haired man turned his head to look at his friend.
"I didn't know about the trip myself. I was told about it in the morning and I had to leave at noon. I had no chance to inform you".
The rest of the evening had been decided. Ryuu-san and Buncha prepared the dinner while sensei and Teppei were playing in the room.
The night had fallen on a town. The girl was tossing and turning in her sleep and the next moment she woke up suddenly with a silent cry. When she recognized the surroundings, she sighed heavily and buried her face in her palms.
She couldn't take it anymore. The thought of losing a person she treasured so much haunted her even in her dream.
The girl sighed again. She glanced at her brother who was sleeping peacefully. She smiled weakly. There was no way she could fall asleep this night again. She was afraid that a bad dream would repeat or even worse…it would come true.
Kaji wanted to feel secure; she wanted to feel safe and protected. She was afraid…afraid of so many things that could happen in her life. The only person who used to give her that feeling of comfort was sensei. But ever since his arrival he hadn't spoken with her. His indifference was killing her slowly and painfully.
Ryuu-sensei told her to be patient before he left for his apartment. She tried, she really tried but when sensei hugged Teppei, wished them good night and went to his room, closing the door behind him, she felt as her heart broke into two pieces.
She thought that everything would be alright when he came back. But it wasn't. He continued to treat her like a stranger.
Kaji swallowed a lump that came to her throat and lay down trying to get some more sleep. But after 30 minutes of tossing and turning she understood that insomnia had introduced itself to her.
When she was a little girl, she used to go to her parents' bedroom and ask them to sleep with them if she couldn't sleep that night. And when her parents hugged her in their sleep, she could easily relax and fall asleep too as she felt warm, secured and loved.
Sometimes Teppei also had insomnia at nights but when he cuddled to her and listened to her gentle lullaby, he could drift away in a world of dreams after that.
She understood that she wasn't a child anymore but she still longed to feel that warm comforting feeling that would chase her fears away. Teppei had her who could hug him in his sleep and protect him from bad dreams.
And she…she had no one. Their parents were "stars" and they couldn't comfort her anymore as they used to do it. The only person who could help her to get rid of those bad dreams and thoughts was sensei. But…what if he didn't want to help her anymore? Could it mean that she really was all alone in this world?
Silent tears rolled down her pale cheeks but she quickly brushed them away. Kaji got up soundlessly in order not to wake up her little sibling, and walked out of the room.
There she was…standing in front of sensei's room. She unsurely opened it and walked in, closing the door carefully.
The girl was scared. What if he got mad with her when he found out that she had sneaked into his room without permission? She was afraid of his reaction. But still it was better than being haunted with nightmares.
She came closer to his bed. He was sleeping almost soundlessly. The only thing she could hear was the sound of his steady breathing. One of his hands was above his head and the other one was lying on his stomach. A blanket was somewhere at his feet.
The girl smiled. He wasn't a calm type of a sleeper. The moonlight was coming from the window illuminating his silhouette. He looked so young and boyish in his sleep. You could never tell that he was a 26 years old man. Maybe it was because of the absence of his glasses? It was rare moments when he was without them but when he was, Fumino liked him more like that. She thought that it was a crime to hide those beautiful deep-blue eyes of his behind two thick pieces of glass.
She really wanted to look into his eyes right now. Some time ago their gentle and caring gaze could make her stronger. But lately they were hurting her with their indifference.
She had been looking at him for quite a while, not daring to do anything. Her body was tired and exhausted after a hectic day, but her mind refused to give her a needed rest.
She didn't know how on Earth she bent over him and shook his shoulder. It was a reflex, but when two deep-blue eyes opened slowly and focused on her sleepily but not without a confusion in them, she understood what she had done.
"Fumino-san? Is anything wrong?" he asked politely sitting up in his bed and rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.
She lowered her head due to the embarrassment. How could she tell him the real reason why she was in his room right now?
"Nothing, sensei. Sorry for disturbing your rest".
Her voice was shaking and he noticed it.
"Tell me the truth, Fumino-san".
She bit her lip bitterly hearing his serious cold tone.
"I…it's really nothing, sensei" she tried to smile but failed. "I'm really sorry for waking you up. It was really stupid of me".
And she turned quickly to exit the room but a firm hand on the door stopped her from doing so.
"I won't let you leave until you tell me what you were doing in my room in the middle of the night?"
The stern tone of his voice behind her made her tense.
So, that was the reaction she was so afraid of. It seemed that she really had no choice but to tell him the truth.
"I had a nightmare and I unconsciously came to you, because you are the only person I feel protected with. When I was younger, I used to go to my parents' bedroom when I had a bad dream, but now I have no opportunity to do it anymore. Sorry, it was really stupid of me to disturb your sleeping because of my weaknesses".
When she told those words she tried to walk out of his room, but his hand was still blocking the exit.
"Why don't you let me go?" she asked weakly with trembling voice. "I have already apologized. Why are you still angry with me, sensei?" a hushed sob escaped her throat as she lowered her head and shut her eyes tightly.
She was crying…and it was his entire fault. What was he doing? He swore to protect and never leave them, didn't he? So why was he hurting her so much? Was his cautions worth of the precious pearls of her shining tears? She was crying because of him. She came to him to get some coziness from the person she trusted and what did she get? The rudest and the most indifferent treatment. He wasn't angry though, but she thought he was.
Now he wasn't just angry, he was mad with himself. All his good intentions towards her future ended up to be the reason of her misery and distress. She didn't want to leave him even after everything he had done.
Her sobs were getting louder and louder and he was the cause of them. What a terrible kind of a person he was! Even if he dropped to his knees begging for her forgiveness, he knew that it wouldn't be enough to expiate his fault.
She felt so empty within yet so much in pain. He was silent and it was the worst. She couldn't dare to look at his face. She was too afraid to see his expression. And she couldn't escape because he blocked the door. She felt like a butterfly trapped in a spider's web. It was a bad idea to come here after all. He was as cold and distant as before.
The next moment Fumino felt as she lost a sense of gravitation. Something strong and warm was holding her and when she looked up, she saw sensei's blank face. He was carrying her bridal style towards his bed.
The girl's eyes widened in shock. What was he doing?
As he laid her fragile body on the sheets, he covered her with a blanket and lay down next to her, facing her.
His strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and waist, pressing her to his firm chest. She felt as his face buried itself in her long silky hair.
She didn't know what to do. Her body was paralyzed with total surprise and confusion. Her heartbeat was rapid and her cheeks were bright red.
His hushed voice in her ear released her from her stupor.
"Just this once, because you need it"
What was he saying? Did it mean that he was doing it because of sympathy?
Kaji gritted her teeth. She didn't want his pity! She began struggling against his embrace but he didn't let her go.
"Why are you doing this to me, sensei? Why? I know that I'm not the best wife but I am trying my hardest. So why are you hurting me so much with your cold attitude? If you don't want to hold me now, it's better if you let me go now".
He was silent for some minutes before he lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her seriously.
"I'm 8 years older than you--"
"It doesn't matter!" she shook her head glaring at him. "If you were 18 years older than me I still wouldn't care!" the girl shouted at his surprised face.
Tears of anger were forming in the corners of her eyes as she was looking at him with burning fire in her brown orbs.
"I want you to be happy--"
But he was interrupted again.
"Stop telling that nonsense, sensei!" her voice was filled with hurt and annoyance. "How can I be happy when you are pushing me away?!"
He was speechless. She was burning with determination and her words sounded so truthful. Did she really love him that much? Him of all good guys around!
Her broken voice interrupted his train of thoughts.
"Why can't you understand that I love you?!"
His face expressed no emotions and it made her even angrier. He released herself from his hug roughly and quickly, not letting him to react, and sat on her knees just beside him. Her hands were on his chest, pinning him to the bed.
He was so startled by her sudden action. His blue eyes widened as he looked at her as if he was trying to understand what she was planning to do.
Her broken voice sliced his heart painfully.
"You still don't believe me. Why? Why are you so heartless? I have already told you that I don't care about our age difference. 20, 30, 40 years…it doesn't matter to me even if you were 50 years older than me! I would still love you!"
Her body began shaking. She lowered her head hiding her face behind thick bangs.
He felt as something wet fell on the T-shirt of his pajama. He understood immediately that it was her tears. The next moment he heard a heart-rending sob that escaped from her mouth. It made him bit his lip bitterly and take his eyes away from her.
It was his fault she was suffering so much. He couldn't let her stay with someone who had made her feel so hurt and lost. She deserved a better man, not him.
He looked at her with surprise again. That word of hers sounded as if she answered his thoughts.
"You are a stupid idiot!"
Kaji raised her head and showed him her tearful eyes with desperate expression.
"How can I make you believe that I want to be with you, that I love you?!" She hit his chest with her small fist.
He groaned but didn't say anything. If she wouldn't stop it now, he was sure he would lose his self-control. And it was dangerous for both of them.
She kept on hitting his chest and complaining about his heartlessness until her hand fell to her side and she became silent.
Even in that heartbroken state she looked gorgeous. Her nightgown slipped a little to one side, revealing her beautiful round shoulder. Her messy hair and her heavy breathing…Did she know how extremely attractive she was right now?
He knew that the situation was not the best, but he really enjoyed the view of the girl that was sitting beside him.
He needed to tell something, anything! Oh, how he wanted to be with her, to hear her voice, to feel her warmth, to take her in his arms and never let go. But if there was an opportunity for her to have a better life, he would rather stay silent, though it was unbearable for him to do.
Yes, he loved her with all his heart but it didn't change a fact that she still needed someone better than him.
Her next actions broke his chain of thoughts. He felt as she bent over and lay on him from her sitting position. Both her hands were on each side of his head and her face was centimeters away from his.
His eyes rounded in disbelief from what she was going to do. Their eyes locked for a second, before the girl closed a small distance between their faces by landing her lips on his.
His heart almost stopped beating. She was kissing him! His body felt numb as his brain refused to give impulses to his limbs. Her warm soft lips were caressing his so gently and carefully. She decided to give her first kiss to him, making it become their first one. Her silky long hair was brushing his face, neck, arms—everywhere where it was falling on. That pleasant ticklish sensation was so new to him. He wanted to bury his hand in that luxury brown hair of hers and feel it against his fingers. But he couldn't as he was lying there almost unconscious from the shock she had forced him to face.
Her lips…they were so shy and innocent. He noted that she didn't know how to kiss, but this pure touch to his lips was enough for him to forget everything in this world and lose his mind.
Fumino poured all her love for him in that kiss. She didn't know what else she could do to make him believe her words, her feelings and her loyalty. She was so embarrassed. It was her first kiss, and she didn't plan to give it to him the way she did. In her dreams, she had always thought that he would be the initiator of their first special moment; that it would be him who bend closer to her face and steal her first kiss making her breathless and carried away in a wonderland.
But there she was…trying to win his heart with a bold way of action. She liked the feeling of his lips against hers. They were so soft, smooth, warm and had their own unique taste. But…
…he wasn't returning her kiss. It felt like she was kissing a mannequin. There were no emotions coming from his side and it made her feel like dying. He didn't love her…after all. So why was he playing with her like he did during all that time when she was his student?
Cruel…he was so cruel…but why couldn't she force herself to leave him? Why did she love him so much?
And he didn't answer her kiss. His lips remained the same position they were when she touched them some minutes ago.
He couldn't bring himself together from shock. He was still looking in front of him in one spot, feeling every move of her lips on his. Her bold action made him wonder if she really meant what she was doing.
Every brush of her lips begged him to answer, but his brain refused to send impulses to his body.
He wanted to return her innocent kiss, to take her lips with his and make them dance slowly, but amazement still didn't let him to do it.
And when he heard as she clenched the pillow-case in her fists, he understood that something was wrong. The next moment she jerked away from him and returned to her sitting position. Her face showed so much sorrow and her eyes looked like she learnt the taste of betrayal.
His eyes widened even more when he saw her tears running down her blushed cheeks. She covered her mouth with her palm as a loud sob escaped her throat. Then she cried in despair. Her sobs sounded like squalls. All that time she was looking at his blank yet frustrated-eyed face in disbelief. Why? Why didn't he love her?
The girl threw her face in her hands and cried so hard that it was suffocating her.
No…no! Was she thinking that she was rejected? It was his fault! He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand seeing her suffer so much. If she really wanted him to be her beloved, if she really thought that such a terrible person as him could make her happy, then he was giving up! If only his love could bring a smile on her face again, then he was ready to give her everything he had. And if to mention, he had no more strength to hold himself in control any longer. He really loved her and seeing her that miserable and lost was hurting him as well. But the worst thing was that the cause of all her sorrows was him.
Fumino could feel as her heart was breaking into millions of pieces. She could no longer stay here in his room. He didn't feel the same way about her as she did. Leaving him would really be the best thing to do, though she couldn't imagine her life without him.
She let out a deep breath and was about to stand up from his bed and walk away when she felt as something was pushing her down. The next second the girl was lying on the pillow, her body was pressed to sensei's and his arms were holding her tightly but gently.
His blue eyes looked into her surprised brown orbs. His sharp gaze made her wonder what he was planning to do.
"I know that there is no way I can be forgiven for what I have made you go through, but if you can, please, forgive me for my selfishness".
His voice was so emotional that it sent electricity to run down her body.
"I'm the most despicable person in this world for hurting you and making you suffer. I was afraid…afraid that my love will make you cry. I used to be a terrible person in the past, but now I'm 100 times worse than that. It's not my love, it's my awful attitude that made you cry. How can I be forgiven after what I have done to you?"
Her eyes watered again. He was holding her so tightly in his warm secure arms. He was telling her those words she longed to hear so much, he was asking for her forgiveness…was it a dream?
"Why did you do it, sensei? Haven't I told you that I love you?"
He took a deep breath before looking away in shame.
"I couldn't believe that you can love someone as brutal as me. You are so pure and innocent…I fell in love with you even when I knew that I had no right to. I was hoping that you would find a better guy and fall in love with him, that's why I tried to create a large space between us, so that you wouldn't feel like betraying your feeling of gratitude towards me when you wanted to leave me. Kurosawa-kun likes you, so I thought--"
"Why did you decide it all by yourself?! Don't you think that I deserved to know what you were planning to do with my life?"
Her face showed a hurt expression and her eyes were burning with unbearable wish to know the truth.
He sighed and turned his head to look at her. There was repentance in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Fumino-san. I thought it would be better that way. But I was wrong. I tried to imagine my life without you and Teppei and you know what? I got scared. The feeling of loneliness was haunting me during those 3 weeks in Osaka. I couldn't do anything but thinking of you. You were always in my mind. In my every thought, dream and breath. I was lying trying to convince myself that I would be alright without you. I failed. I found out…I can't live without you".
His hand reached her face and brushed some strands away from her creamy skin. She leaned in for his touch.
"How could you think that I would leave you?" she asked bitterly.
"I was stupid and I am now. I can't understand myself how could I even think of giving my irreplaceable treasure to someone else?"
"Sensei?" she placed her warm palm on his cheek and looked deep into his eyes. "Tell me what do you feel towards me?"
A soft smile touched his lips as he leaned closer to her face and said:
"There are only 3 words that can describe my feelings".
"And what are they?"
Her face was getting redder with every second as she felt his breathing on her mouth.
"I love you".
And without saying anything else, he kissed her.
The girl was melting in his arms. He shifted their positing making her lay underneath him, hugging his neck.
He kissed her slowly but tenderly. And she felt dizzy from the emotions and love that he poured in this kiss.
His right hand found her nape and began massaging it. And her hand buried itself in his thick hair, sending shivers down his spine from a pleasurable sensation.
He broke their kiss gently and carefully and laid his head on her shoulder inhaling her sweet aroma.
She was panting as he took all her oxygen away with his kiss.
His kiss…it was still burning on her lips.
"I love you" she heard him say.
"I want to repeat it as frequently as possible" he lifted his head a little and whispered in her ear. "I love you more than my life"
His velvet voice made her blush and sent electric impulses down her body.
"Don't say it like that" she hugged him tighter and turned her head a little to lay a kiss on his smooth-shaved cheek. "Because you are my life, Ka-zu-ma-koi"
His eyes rounded not because of her innocent act of affection, but because of the way she called him using his given name. He raised his head and looked into her eyes confused. She smiled at him gently and there was so much care and love in her big brown mirrors of soul.
"You have always been the only one I love. And I don't want to call my husband a sensei. You are not my teacher and I'm not your student anymore, my darling, my beloved Kazuma".
He chuckled briefly.
"I couldn't dare to dream that it would turn out like this".
With those words he hid his face in the crook of her neck and said softly.
"I love you, Fumino, my beloved wife".
They stayed like that for a long time before tiredness embraced their minds and bodies and they fell asleep in each other's arms.
That night she didn't have a nightmare. She felt safe and warm next to the person she trusted and loved so much. That night was one of the sweetest in her life.
When Fumino woke up in the early morning, she found herself nuzzling to someone's warm and muscular body. She opened her eyes and lost herself in two deep oceans of his blue mirrors of soul.
He was watching her sleep with a gentle smile on his face, and when she woke up, he couldn't but say:
"Good morning, sweetheart. Oh how I want to drink your breathing with my lips…"
And she felt as her rosy lips were claimed softly by his.
It was embarrassing, but it felt so good to wake up next to him and hear his gentle voice in the early morning. The first thing she wanted to see every day after her sleep was his eyes…his deep-blue eyes that she adored so much.
"Please, take off your glasses only when we are alone" she told him after he left her mouth in peace.
"Why?" he looked at her confused.
"I don't want anyone to see the beauty of your eyes, darling. I want this privilege to belong only to me".
The girl blushed a little and looked away shyly.
He smiled with a corner of his lips.
"I promise…if you continue wearing those young wife's costumes" he added teasingly.
Her face got bright red in a second.
At that moment the door flew opened and Teppei ran into the room with a cry.
"Maa-kun! Buncha is missing!"
But he stopped in the middle of the room and looked at the embracing couple with widened curious eyes.
"Buncha, do you want to have Maa-kun's baby?"
The said girl's eyes almost plopped out of their orbits as she lost her gift of speech after her brother's question.
A light-pink coloured sensei's cheeks. He gestured the boy to come closer and patted his head.
"Teppei, I know that after watching those TV movies with Ryuu-sensei you think that you'll become an uncle soon, but it's not like that…for now at least. Though, I really want Buncha to bear my baby".
The little boy nodded with serious expression as if he fully understood the situation, while Fumino's jaw dropped on her knees as she looked at her husband in disbelief.
"Buncha will be a great mother to your baby, Maa-kun" Teppei smiled broadly and clapped the guy's shoulder.
"Stop it, you two!"
But she was absolutely ignored, which caused her to feel as if she was an alien among the human race.
"I know she will" and the grey-blue haired man gifted her with the gentlest gaze she had ever seen in his eyes.
"Then I'll go and tell Ryuu-sensei about it!"
Kaji felt as if she was going to lose her conscious.
"No wait, Teppei. Ryuu doesn't need to know it. Let it be our secret".
And the older guy gave his hand to the boy for a shake.
"Now, go and wash your face. Great deeds are waiting for us, remember?"
They boy nodded and ran out of the room, leaving the two alone.
"W-what was that just now?"
Ojiro took his shocked wife in his arms and embraced her gently.
"Don't worry. We will decide it when you are ready. I don't want to force you. So please, take your time to get used to the idea. And don't be afraid"
She blushed madly but hugged him back.
"I'm not afraid, just embarrassed. Thank you, Kazuma".
It was still unusual to hear her calling him by his given name. But he really enjoyed it.
A soft kiss landed on her forehead.
It was a beginning of a new life—a real family life.
And she was glad that she didn't listen to her mind that was telling her to leave him. He indeed was her world and she wanted to stay in it forever.
And he…he still couldn't believe that she was by his side. But he swore to himself that he would do everything to make it be like this forever.
The happy end
A/N Thanks everyone who spent their time reading my story. I hope you like it as much as I do!