Sorry it took me so long to update, I didn't really know what to write about lol. I want at least 5 reviews before I continue.

_

I hung up the phone and tightened my grip around John, and I slowly walked into my room and carefully set him back into his bassinet. I concentrated on steadying my breathing by taking slow breaths, so that I could pull myself together before Ricky got here. I really didn't want him to see me cry, although he already knew I was upset on the phone. I sat down on my bed and hugged my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth as I listened to the rain, trying to stop myself from crying. John was still crying. The more I cried, the more he did.

"It's okay, John. Please don't cry. Please. You're only making this harder on me." I whimpered, covering my ears with my hands to block out the noise, however it was not effective. I could still hear him just as loud, and the rain wasn't helping me either, it only made me more heavyhearted.

I couldn't take it anymore. I could no longer deal with all of this. I angrily stomped out of my room, getting as far away as I could until I couldn't hear his crying anymore. I walked outside and slammed the door as hard as possible, getting all my anger and grief out. I walked around the other end of the house and sat down, pulling my knees together into my chest and leaning against the house. The rain blended in nicely with his crying, and I could no longer hear him anymore. I didn't care about holding back my tears. I wasn't only crying over Ben. I was crying because of everything in my life, because of John, my family breaking apart, and even Ricky. Ricky was such a good dad to John, and I'm not allowing him to be the best possible dad that he could be. I knew Ricky hated me, and he had the right to.

Everything is getting so hard, and I don't know what to do anymore. Ben doesn't want me any longer, and he was all I had to live for. I didn't even realize it until now, once he's gone. It's too late now, I've messed up everything. I looked up at the sky and at the rain and wondered what the whole reason to this was. Or if there even was a reason. Maybe Ben and I were just not meant to be together. I knew it was too good to be true, I mean, why would he want to be with someone who had a baby with another guy? I let the rain fall down on my face as I absorbed it all in. My clothes were soaking wet, but that did not really bother me. I wanted to stay out here forever in the rain like nothing else mattered.

"Amy?" I heard a voice say in a low, gentle tone. I slightly turned my head to look, but I couldn't see anything with all the tears in my eyes. I carelessly wiped them away, recovering my vision. "Amy?" The voice repeated, as I still saw nothing. "What are you doing?" I saw as a figure was walking towards me. I couldn't tell who or what it was, for it was too dark and it was raining. I could finally see clearly after the lightning struck, causing it to light up for a brief second. It was Ricky. I hadn't even heard him drive up. He slowly walked towards me as I didn't say anything. He stood up beside me and then sat down, and I could finally see his face clearly. He was smiling at me, but it was a calming, patient smile, while my face was emotionless. I finally managed to find my voice, but it sounded different and lifeless.

"Do you know?" I asked him quietly.

He simply nodded as he looked into my eyes. "Ben told me." He said, as his voice was low and quiet.

I seemed to gain some life back in my voice, but it still sounded off. I slightly and almost unnoticeably narrowed my eyes and sighed, but I knew he couldn't hear me. "He told you? When?"

"He called me about an hour ago." He said. The smile that was on his face was gone. His face was emotionless just like mine. I didn't say anything, because I couldn't think of anything to say. I waited for him to tell me what he said, and finally, he spoke again. "Well, at first he called to tell me he was gonna be late at the butcher shop tomorrow, but he sounded depressed so I joked around and asked him if you turned him down, and he told me he broke up with you."

I felt my heart stop once he said that last sentence. I still didn't want to believe that he was out of my life forever. I felt the urge to yell at Ricky for what he said, but I couldn't find the energy or care, so I just let it go. "Sorry, Amy. For reminding you. But it'll be okay. You don't need him." He comforted me.

"So, why are you out here in the rain?" He continued.

"It's better than listening to John." I snapped at him.

"Come on, you know it's not that bad."

I didn't say anything. I sulked again as I cried into my knees, and I turned my head slightly away from Ricky so he wouldn't see me cry. I knew that he noticed I was crying, but he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he put his hand on my arm and spoke in a soft voice. "How about we go inside?"

I finally looked into his eyes, and I sighed. "I don't want to. I can't take all that crying. I just want to stay out here."

"I'll get him to stop crying," He said, smirking,"You're gonna get sick, Amy." He stood up and held out his hand to help me up. I knew that I didn't have the energy to get up myself. All of this crying has made my whole body weak. I hesitated for a long time, but finally placed my hand into his, and he pulled me up. He lead me into my house and the first thing I heard was John, but as soon as Ricky came inside he stopped. I scowled in disbelief and crossed my arms.

I went into the bathroom and got a towel so I could dry my clothes off that were wet from the rain. I handed Ricky a towel and he took it and then went into my room with John. I wiped the tears from my eyes and went into my room with him.

"I don't know how you do that." I said scornfully.

"Just relax, Amy. He sees that you're stressed, and it stresses him out too." He said.

My phone was vibrating. I took it out of my pocket and looked at the caller id. It was a text from Ben. I took a deep breath before I read the message.
"Amy, I'm sorry if I hurt you earlier. I just think it's best if we aren't together anymore. Please understand.
I love you."

-Ben

I scowled, and then I decided to text him back.
"I will never understand."

I sent the text message, and then I put my phone back into my pocket and sat down on my bed. I watched Ricky carefully as he fed John. It made me a little mad how good he was with him and how comfortable John was when he was around.

"So, where's your mom?" Ricky finally asked me, breaking the silence.

"She's with David." I scoffed, "She's always with him. It makes me so mad."

Ricky slowly scrunched his eyebrows together, but then he smirked. "Why?"

"Because. I don't like that guy. I can't believe that she's having his baby. She hasn't even known him that long. She's way too old to be having a baby. It's going to be so hard having two babies in the house." I whined.

"Well, it could be a good thing." He said quickly, putting John back in his bassinet to sleep after he finished feeding him.

I breathed deeply and rolled my eyes. "How could it be a good thing? You know how hard it is with just John! She'll be so busy that she won't even be able to help me!" I complained, lying down on the bed. Ricky nonchalantly sat down in the chair that was in my room and sighed.

"Why should she help you? We can take care of him." He exclaimed, the tone of his voice sounding annoyed.

"You're right."I snapped at him,"We can take care of him. Actually, I can take care of him all by myself. So why don't you just leave and stop pretending that you care? Because we both know that you don't." I said. I didn't mean to go off on him like that, but I was tired and I just wanted him to agree with me.

Ricky suddenly stood up. "I do care! I care about my son! He isn't just yours, Amy! He's mine too!" He yelled angrily.

"No you don't care about him! You don't care about anyone except yourself!" I yelled back at him, sitting up from where I was lying on the bed.

"That's not true. I care about John. I CARE ABOUT MY SON! I don't care what you think. You're wrong and you know it. Stop acting like all of this is my fault!" He shouted, looking into my eyes with anger and aggression.

"It is all of your fault! If you wouldn't have been so obsessed with having sex with as many girls as you could, then none of this would've happened! And Ben and I would still be together and we would never have anything to fight about! Everything is your fault!" I insisted, as tears rolled down my cheeks again.

"Fine! You think you don't need me? Then I'll just leave! I'm sure you'll be fine without me!" He headed toward the door, but stopped when he got to the doorway. "I may not love anyone else, but I love my son! See you later, Amy."He scoffed and stomped out of my room. I listened closely and heard the front door slam as he left. I fell back down on the bed and cried my eyes out as I hyperventilated. I squeezed my eyes shut and finally fell asleep, but was soon awaken by John wailing. I had to fight to get up.

Adrenaline rushed through my veins, and I broke down on my knees bawling and yelled,"RICKY, COME BACK! I NEED YOU!" I knew he couldn't have possibly heard me. He was already gone. I kicked John's bassinet and he came falling down to the floor, I gasped but quickly caught him and squeezed him close to me. "John, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I'm so sorry. Everything is my fault. I- I can't do this without him! He's never gonna come back now!" I cried. I lied down on my bed with John, and finally he calmed down. I quickly fell asleep, and I dreamed of Ricky.

Thank you for reading! Lol. I'll update as soon as I get reviews. I already have an idea of what I'm writing about for the next chapter. =D