|Love at first sight?
Author: KaylaMiller PM
AU JATE-new town, new wife, new house,new baby.How hard could it be right?Do you believe in love at first sight?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Jack & Kate - Chapters: 21 - Words: 27,953 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12-31-09 - Published: 07-02-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5184488
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Thanks for the review guys- and i'm sorry for the last chapter, i know it sucks, when i was writing it, i was like what the hell are you doing?!?, but i had too, so i;m sorry :(
Hope you guys like the Epilogue :)
4 years later…
Jack's eyes fluttered open with the ringing of the phone, the house was still quiet, wrapped in a dense blanket of fog, and he forced himself to sit up, amazed that he'd slept at all, he didn't sleep the night before and no more than a few hours a night in the last few weeks. His eyes felt swollen and red and he knew he looked exhausted, the phone rang again, he reached for it
"Jack" His sister said "How are you?"
"Not too bad" Jack grunted
"Were you sleeping?" She asked
Jack checked the clock "Only 20 minutes, not enough to do any damage"
Claire sighed "I should let you go then"
Spying his jacket on the chair, Jack thought about what he wanted to do tonight, it would be another sleepless night, making him suddenly thankful for his short nap
"No, I won't fall back asleep again, it's good to hear from you, how are you?" He asked, glancing down the hall, he listened for Mira
He named her that once he brought her home from the hospital, he realized him and Kate planned on naming her Diane after Kate's mother, but someone told him that Mira was a shortened name for miracle, and that's what she was, his little miracle, he didn't think Kate would disagree, Mira Diane Shephard looked just like her mother.
"I was calling because I got your message" His sister said, sounding guilty "The one you left a few days ago, you sounded really out of it"
"Sorry" Jack said "I was up all night"
"Don't you think that been happening a little too often lightly?" she pressed "Even Mom's worried about you, told me to tell you to get some sleep, I'm going to second that motion, so go back to bed"
Despite his exhaustion, Jack laughed "It wouldn't do any good; I'd just lie there all night"
"I don't understand, why can't you sleep?" She asked in a baffled voice
Jack glanced out the window, the sky was unbelievable, silver fog everywhere, and he found himself thinking about Kate "Nightmares" He replied to his sister
The nightmares had begun a month ago, just after Christmas, for no apparent reason.
The day started out like any other, Mira helped him make pancakes for breakfast, and they ate together at the table. Jack dropped her off at Rose's in the afternoon for a few hours. They had macaroni and cheese for supper, and after her bath, they read the same story they always did. Checking on her twenty minutes later, she was sound asleep
But just after midnight, Mira woke up screaming
Jack raced over to her room, holding her and trying to comfort her as she cried, eventually she calmed and he pulled up the covers before kissing her on the forehead
An hour later, she woke up screaming again
It went on like most of the night, but in the morning, she seemed to have no memory of it, Jack glassy-eyed and exhausted was just glad it was over. Or so he thought, however the same thing happen that night, and the one after that, and so on.
After a week, he brought Mira to the doctor, and was assured that nothing was physically wrong with her but night terrors were common, and would pass in time
But they didn't, if anything they seemed to be getting worse, she started at waking up two or three times a night, it went to four or five times a night, and the only thing that could calm her down were the soft words Jack would whisper as he rocked her gently.
He tried letting her sleep with him, he tried night-lights and warm milk before bed. Nothing worked.
The lack of sleep made them both intensely tense, there had been more tantrums with Mira than usual, more unexpected tears and sassiness, at four she was unable to control her outburst, exhaustion left him always on edge, and the anxiety was getting to him, the fear that something was wrong with her, that if she didn't start sleeping, something horrible would happen to her. He was responsible for her, she needed him, and somehow he was failing.
Jack peeked in on Mira, aching with the desire to hold her close, if only to keep the nightmares away. She'd been down for an hour and he knew she'd be up screaming in a short time. He found himself wondering what images were in her mind, did she see monsters? was she running from something?
He didn't have the slightest idea, yet he sometimes wondered if it was his fault, did she realize she wasn't like other kids? Did she notice that when they went to the park, he was often the only father?, Did she wonder why everyone else had a mother and she didn't? He knew that wasn't his fault, it was nobody's fault, he reminded himself all the time, that it was simply a tragedy without blame
He left her side, and tiptoed to her closet, pulling a jacket from a hanger, he remembered how small Mira was when he brought her home
In those weeks following Mira's birth, Jack's mother came down for an extended visit, and her and Rose taught him all the basics of taking care of a baby, the two grew fond of each other, and both refused to let Jack wallow in self-pity, and made I'm contribute not matter how much he was hurting
Bit by bit, the grief began to slowly lift, whereas once it had overwhelmed him, now he found it possible to forget his pain sometimes, simply because he was too busy caring for his daughter.
On his first night completely alone with Mira, he checked on her more than a dozen times, when she woke with cries, he fed and burped her, in the morning he gave her a bath, and panicked when he saw her shiver.
Weeks rolled into months, and eventually Jack opened a free clinic, just down the street from the hospital, in Kate's memory, he thought she'd love him doing something good for the town and the people she loved.
Before he knew it, Mira was smiling and laughing, and he found that he could watch her for hours, he took hundreds of pictures of Mira, and he grabbed the video camera, the moment she let go of the end table and took her first step
Birthdays and holidays came and went, as Mira grew, her personality became more distinct. As a baby she wore a lot of pink, then blue, and now at four apparently purple was the new thing. She loved to color but hated to paint, and her favorite raincoat had a Dora the Explorer patch on the sleeve, she wore it even when the sun was shining
Jack made his way into the living room after tossing Mira's jacket on the chair beside his, he moved to the window, looking out at the garden he and Kate started when they moved in.
He thought of Kate often, especially on quiet nights like these, in the years since she passed away, he hadn't dated; he didn't have any desire too. He knew people were worried about him, and he'd them he'd tell them he was too busy taking care of Mira to even consider another relationship, although that was true, what he didn't tell them was that part of him died along with Kate, she would always be with him, he never saw her in the hospital bed, instead he remembered her expression when they first felt the baby kick, or her contagious laughter.
He wondered who he'd be if she'd never been in his life. Yet he wasn't unhappy, he was pleased with the man he'd become, the father he'd become. He treasured those moments when Mira wandered down the stairs in the morning while Jack was reading the paper, sipping coffee. Half the time her pajamas were askew, one sleeve up, her tummy showing, and her dark hair proofed out, with the light from the kitchen, she would squint before rubbing her eyes
"Hi, Daddy" She would say, her voice almost inaudible
"Hi,Sweetheart" He would answer, and Mira would go into his arms, as he lifted her and leaned back, she would relax against him, head on his shoulder, her small arms twirled around his neck "I love you so much" Jack would say
"I love you too Daddy" She'd reply
At moments like these, he ached that she never knew her mother.
It was time, Jack slipped on his jacket, and zipped it up, then heading down the hall with her hat, mittens and jacket, he went into Mira's bedroom, placing his hand on her back
"Mira, sweetie?" He whispered "I need you to wake up"
He shook her slightly, and she rolled her head from one side to the other "C'mon sweetie" He reached over and scooped her up in his arms
She moaned slightly "Daddy?" She whispered
He smiled, thinking she was the most beautiful child in the world "It's time to go"
Her eyes were still closed as she answered "Okay, Daddy"
He sat on her bed, slipping on her boots over the thick pajamas she wore to bed, then draped her jacket over her shoulder; he slid on her mittens and her hat before picking her up again
"Daddy?" She yawned "Where are we going?"
"We're going to take a ride" Jack said, carrying her through the living room
She turned towards the window "But its dark" She said
"Yes" Jack replied "And it's foggy too"
Outside, he shifted Mira so he could grab his keys, and sat her in the car seat
"It's scary out here" She said "Like on Scooby-Doo"
"Kind of" He said, buckling her in "But we'll be safe"
"I know" She said
"I love you" He added "Do you know how much?"
She rolled her eyes as if she were an actress "More than there are fishes in the sea and higher than the moon, I know"
Jack drove slowly, stopping at the Cemetery, and grabbing a flashlight, Mira's hand in his own, he walked through, checking his watch, he saw it was past midnight
"Are we going to see Mommy?" Mira asked
"You'll see" Jack promised
Jack came here to see Kate a lot since she was buried here, most of the time with Mira. This is where she learned about her mom, about how they fell in love there. The last time she was here, on the way back to the car, she said "I wish she didn't have to die"
He wondered if that had something to do with the nightmares, they started a month later.
After walking a while, they reached the graves, Jack led Mira over to the place he and Kate had first seen the lights, he sat down pulling his daughter in his lap, Jack remembered the story Kate had told her about her parents, and the nightmares she had as a child, and Mira sensing something special was about to happen, barely moved
The lights began their dance, and Mira watched in amazement, as for Jack, he knew there'd be no more nightmares, Mira would sleep peacefully, No- he couldn't explain it and later he'd be proven correct, in the last few years he learned that science didn't have all the answers
"Is that Mama?" Mira finally asked, her expression showing she was in complete awe
He smiled, his throat tight, in the quiet night, it was like they were the only two people in the world. Jack took a long breath, remembering Kate, and believing that she was there with them, and knowing that if she could see them now, she'd be smiling and content in knowing that her daughter and her husband were going to be okay
"Yes" Jack said, holding her tight "I think she wanted to meet you"
Hit the button, one final time :)
Happy New Year Everybody! :D