This chapter does not start off quite as exciting or eyebrow raising as the last one did, m’afraid, but alas, they can’t all be gems. Or something.

Anyways, here’s chapter 10, I’m bangin’ these out pretty quickly now… what do you guys prefer, a long chapter with longer updates or shorter chapters updated more frequently? I’m 99% sold on sticking with the tried-and-true ‘update whenever the hell I feel like it’ method…

I would also like to mention—due to a few complaints that it’s hard to tell where the scenes fall, timeline wise, I have added little ‘the next morning/day/afternoon/night’, ect., to every scene skip. However, my request is whenever you read one of the scene skips, the voice of the French narrator in Spongebob is the voice you hear reading it.

Ahem, away we gooooo with chapter 10~

-

The same evening where chapter 9 left off …

Shang Xiang, uh, didn’t know why she was here. She was standing outside Tong’s dorm. With an invitation in her hands. Actually, said invitation was more of a crumpled, wrinkled blob, due to her twisting it in her nervous hands—and the ink on the invite was smeared, due to her nervous perspiring (Sun family downfall, right there). Actually—eww, she had ink on her hands too. Greaaaat. She awkwardly wiped them on the back of her shorts, then promptly remembered she was wearing white shorts. Arghhhh!

Dammit, Shang Xiang, calm down—

“Shang Xiang!” said an overly cheerful voice behind her, and she promptly jumped and turned around.

“Ning!? What!?” Shang Xiang demanded.

“I live here!” Ning pointed out, “what’re you doin’ here?”

“Is Tong here?” Shang Xiang asked.

Ning opened his mouth to reply; then his expression became one of severe constipation, and he (gently) shoved her aside, darted past her, unlocked the door, went inside, and slammed the door shut. In Shang Xiang’s face.

“Hey, wait—Ning, you dick!” Shang Xiang shouted, banging on the front door, “open this door or I’m opening a can of whoopass on your dumb ass, you stupid inbred—“

“OW SHANG XIANG OW YOU ARE HITTING ME OW!” Tong managed, between the severe beating Shang Xiang was administering on his head with every angry fist bash—he finally caught her fist, and Shang Xiang made to yank her fist free and send it soaring into the mouth of the audacious son-of-a-bitch who dared to halt her wrath, and knock out every one of his teeth while she was at it—oh, Tong! SHIT!

“Sorry Tong!” Shang Xiang managed, “I, uhh—“

“Save it, I know how your mind works,” said Tong, shaking his head, “uhh—what’s up? If you’re trying to kill Ning say the word and I’ll be right out of your way~”

“HEY!” Ning shouted from inside.

“Shaddap!” Tong called over his shoulder, and rolled his eyes before fixing his attention back onto Shang Xiang—and her boobs, that top was showing a lot of—dammit, Tong!

Shang Xiang, captain of the starship Oblivious, didn’t notice her boobages were being discreetly ogled; she was too busy trying to think of an explanation as to why she was here that didn’t involve actually asking him out. All this dancing around crap was a pain in the ass, dammit. She should just look ‘im in the eye, and throw down the gauntlet—come with me to this party, or I’m going to kill you!

Scenario 1: So, uh, Tong, I got this invite to this party on my floor, and, uhh, I was wanting if you wanted to go? With me? It’s a costume party too, so you can just wear a costume and nobody’ll know who you are—

Shang Xiang made a face. She didn’t think it was a good idea to suggest he wear a disguise were he to be out on a date with her. She expected to be worn on his arm like a fancy designer purse, thank you. Except if Tong was the type of guy to carry a purse, she wouldn’t want to date him anyways. ANYWAY!

Scenario 2: TONG YOU ARE COMING WITH ME TO THIS PARTY AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!!!!!!!

More in-character, for sure…

“Uhhh, Shang Xiang?” Tong asked curiously, “you’re doing that weird thinking thing again… what’s up, you lock yourself out of your dorm again?”

“No!” said Shang Xiang defensively, “I, uh—left my GameBoy here.”

Tong made a face—“was it the one Ning stepped on earlier?”

“WHY IS EVERYTHING MY FAULT!?” shouted Ning.

“Because you’re the dumb one!” Tong answered.

“Uhh—well, um, while you know, you’re here and all that—uhh—there’s kind of something I want to say? Or ask? I guess?” Shang Xiang mentally kicked herself for fidgeting.

“Sure, hit me,” said Tong, glancing over his shoulder.

“Uhhhh—“ Damn hesitant tongue! SPEAK, DAMN YOU!

“You want to just come in?” Tong offered, apparently realizing he was blocking the doorway.

“Sure!” said Shang Xiang brightly, stepping inside—“YOU!” she hissed, rearing on Ning, “say goodbye to your incisors because I’m about to wake up your fucking dentist—“

“Uh, about that,” said Ning, looking tortured, “uhh, I wouldn’t go any further, if I was you—“

“Shaddap,” said Tong. “So, uh, what’s up, Shang Xiang?”

“Oh, you know, I was in the neighborhood, give or take a couple buildings,” said Shang Xiang, shifting her weight to her opposite leg—“uhhh…”

“Hang on, nature calls,” said Tong, making a face, “be right back…”

“Nature doesn’t call, you sissy, you just drank too much lemonade!” Ning called, smirking, earning him a foul gesture in response from Tong. He glanced over at Shang Xiang, fearfully.

“You asshole,” Shang Xiang seethed.

“I thought you were someone else!”

“No you didn’t!”

“Did too! And you have no idea of the inner mechanisms of my mind! They are an enigma! So enigmatic one of your small intellectual levels can’t even begin to comprehend them!” Ning folded his arms.

Shang Xiang rolled her eyes and just decided to drop it. Stupid Ning.

“So what’re you up to?” Ning asked suspiciously.

“Nothing bad!” said Shang Xiang, blinking—“c’mon, Ning, why else would I be here?”

“If I believed that I’d be dumber than the love child o’ Tong and your brother,” said Ning, making a face.

Shang Xiang made another face too—eww—and groaned. “Alright, fine, you caught me—some girl on my floor’s doing a Halloween party and she invited the whole building, says we can bring dates if we want—I, uh, was thinking about asking Tong. Not thinking about, I was gonna do it. Then I wimped out and now I’m here. Uh.”

Ning would’ve laughed at the irony if he knew what irony was—she gets the cajones to ask him out after he gets a girlfriend? Did she time this? “Uh, Shang Xiang, I don’t think that’s a good—“

“I’m thirsty,” said Shang Xiang, “I want a soda~”

“Make that two, please,” said Ning, promptly forgetting to warn Shang Xiang of the atom bomb about to be dropped on her unsuspecting, naïve head.

Shang Xiang went into the kitchen, and there was a girl already in there, her back to Shang Xiang.

“Hello?” asked Shang Xiang, confused.

“Hello!” the girl said brightly, turning around and beaming at Shang Xiang.

Shang Xiang could only stare in mixed horror and awe at this girl. If there were such things as doppelgangers from hell, she was looking at her own. Yikes.

The girl was wearing a yellow sundress and flip flops, something Shang Xiang wouldn’t be caught dead in; but appearance-wise, they were identical. They had the same short brown hair. The only visible difference was the height, Shang Xiang was taller, and the eyes; Shang Xiang’s were green, hers were brown.

Otherwise, it was looking in a friggen mirror. A creepy mirror.

“Hi,” Shang Xiang said, looking the girl up and down.

“HI!” the girl replied cheerfully.

“Uh… mind if I ask who you are?” Shang Xiang asked.

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry, I forgot to introduce myself!” The girl grabbed Shang Xiang’s hand and shook it. “My name’s Nene! I’m Tong’s girlfriend!”

If it hadn’t been gravitationally impossible, Shang Xiang would’ve thought a brick fell from the ceiling and bounced off her head.

“So you’re Nene! I heard about you,” Shang Xiang said, forcing cheer into her voice. “Dating Tong, huh? I’d say you have good taste, but I guess I know Tong too well.” She grinned.

Nene looked a little confused. Shang Xiang mentally rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m Shang Xiang, Tong’s friend. I dunno if he told you about me, or—”

“Oh, I know who you are!” Nene said excitedly, “He told me all about you!”

Shang Xiang’s eyes widened a bit. “Er… how much did he tell you?”

“There you guys are,” said Tong, coming back into the kitchen.

“Toooooong, thank you so much for having me over for dinner~” Nene gushed.

“Oh, no prob, Nene—hey, before you go, this is Shang Xiang! We’ve been best friends since we were like kids—Shang Xiang, say hi to Nene!”

“Hello?” said Shang Xiang, confused.

“We’ve already been acquainted, dear,” said Nene, smiling at Tong, “you have wonderful taste in friends, she seems like a lovely girl~”

Shang Xiang didn’t know whether to be pissed or confused—she lost out to this nutcase!? Arghhh!

“So, uh—what’d you want to ask me, Shang Xiang?” Tong asked curiously.

“Nothing,” Shang Xiang grumbled, “I found my GameBoy, I’m going home.” She stomped out of the kitchen.

“Hey, where’s my soda?” Ning complained from the couch. Shang Xiang scowled and delivered a hard smack to the back of his head before shutting the dorm behind her.

“Ow!” Ning grumbled, “t’hell!? What’d I do!?”

Nene immediately hurried over—“keep your head up!” she ordered, “or you might suffer hemorrhaging in your brain! Or—brain damage!”

“He’d have to have a brain for it to hemorrhage,” Tong commented, ducking Ning’s punch, “ey, not in front of my girlfriend!”

“I’ll punch you in front of your own damn mother,” Ning scowled.

“My mom’s dead, but thanks for reminding me,” Tong said, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, fine, I’ll punch you out on your mother’s grave! Shaddap!”

“Someone is a rude Gus,” Nene remarked, shaking her head, “you should be nicer to your friends, you never know when you’ll be in a bind and they’ll have to come help you!”

“Yeah, really, Ning,” said Tong, making a face.

Nene interrupted Ning’s torrent of curses with a hand—“I was talking to you, dear!” she told Tong, whose eyebrows shot up.

“ME!? What’d I do!?”

“Tong, what’s the saying about poking the gorilla with a stick?” Nene asked.

“Uhhh… don’t?”

“No! Poke the gorilla with the stick, and you get the horns!”

“I think you mean ‘mess with the bull, you get the horns’ or ‘poke the gorilla with the stick and don’t be surprised when he kills you’,” said Ning, making a face.

“Oh, yes, my bad, I’m confusing my metaphors!” said Nene, shaking her head, “well, anyway, Tong, I don’t want to see you antagonizing your friends! Or I’m going to get angry and give you a good spanking and I don’t mean in the disgusting sexual connotation everyone seems to take it as!”

“Nene calm down we do shit like this all the time,” said Tong, looking exasperated.

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me!”

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me! You’re my girlfriend, not my friggen legal guardian!”

Nene pouted, looking steamed. “I don’t know where all this hostility is coming from, but I don’t want to see it anymore!”

“I don’t care! Stop bossing me around!” Tong said flatly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ning had already lost interest in the argument and had gone back to watching TV. His head was throbbing, thanks for hitting me, Shang Xiang, but this whole Tong/Nene thing was a load of crap anyway, at least as far as he was concerned…

-

The next morning…

Chao’s face had lit up like he’d just received the key to the city—actually, the city is perfectly unlocked, why does someone need a key to the city? Give Chao a key to the mayor’s office, and give the mayor a good boot to the ass, and then he’ll talk—“REALLY!?” he squawked, excitedly.

“Of course!” said President Pang Tong of Florida University (or so Ma Chao thought, considering he was talking to a heavily covered up man; he was wearing a large sombrero pulled over his eyes and nose and his mouth was hidden by a white bandana). “Justiceapalooza was the best thing to ever happen on this campus after my inauguration, boy!”

Chao blinked a few times—“sir, I think they only showed up due to the promise of free food and a Taylor Swift concert, nobody at this school understands the true plight of the man of justice!” Justice properly emphasized by a raised volume and a dramatic gesture, of course.

President Pang rolled his eyes—not that Chao would ever know, of course—and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “You know, kid, the more of this school I run and the more people I encounter, the more valuable my personal motto becomes,” he said, tassels on the sombrero waving as he shook his head.

“Which is, sir?” Chao asked curiously.

“FUCK ‘EM!” shouted President Pang, which made Chao jump and nearly fall off his seat. “Nobody’s going to spoon feed you, boy, you want something worth a crap in life you either need to become a prostitute or do it yourself. And since you don’t have the gams to be a prostitute—“ Chao looked at his thighs in a moment of self-doubt—“looks like it’s the hard way paved with blood sweat and tears for ya.”

“So you want me to throw another Justiceapalooza?” Chao asked, confused.

“No, heavens no, that was a terrible idea, not to mention all those flyers you printed really clogged up the school’s plumbing system when they all got flushed down the toilet. I want you to be our school’s resident watchman. You see something going on, I want you to do something about it. Put your ass on the line for justice!”

“Like what, sir?” asked Chao.

“I hear some of the rich brats in this school are—how do you kids say, ‘hitting the joint’? ‘Doing the reefer’? ‘Smoking the weed’? I considered setting up anonymous donation bins around the school, but that might be a bit too intimidating to the minds of these sheep—I mean, students. So, what do you say?” President Pang grinned, but his grin was once again masked, if you’ll forgive the pun.

“So—so you’re granting me the authority to clean up the school!? To be a—a—a—“

“A superhero,” said President Pang, grinning wider when Chao squealed like a giddy schoolgirl—“I won’t hold you from your destiny any longer, Ma Chao! You were born to protect our school!”

“I won’t let you down!” said Chao, jumping up and pumping his fist, “Tremble in fear, pothead fellow classmates!” And he ran off.

President Pang rolled his eyes, sitting back and putting his feet up. He just had a pot stash for life, thanks to that dumb kid—hey, wait a minute, that dumb kid knew to confiscate the pot and turn it in to him, right!? Not—not destroy it!? “CHAO!” he shouted, but Chao was already long gone on his new campaign of JUSTICE.

-

That afternoon…

KNOCK KNOCK.

“Get that, will you?” Tong asked, looking up from the textbooks he hadn’t looked up from in about four hours.

“Why the hell do I have to interrupt my busy life to do your damn bidding?” Ning grumbled, from where his ass was imprinted to the couch, where he’d been sitting for the past four hours.

Tong gestured to the books scattered in front of him.

“Ain’t my fault you got a weird idea of fun!”

“JUST DO IT! You’re closer to the door!”

Ning groaned and got up, opening the door. “What?” He made a face. “How’d you find me!?”

Ping, wearing a very eager expression, smiled hugely. “I looked you up in the student directory!” he said.

“Stalker,” Tong called. “Ning, shut the door, will ya?”

Ping came inside anyway. “Master, I’ve come to learn from you!”

“Master?” Ning repeated. “Care to elaborate, y’little geek?”

“Learn what? How to sit on your ass for four hours without becoming a vegetable?” Tong snorted. Ning threw the remote at him.

Ping nodded eagerly. “Yes, Master! Our meeting last week couldn’t have been a coincidence! It was fate trying to point me in the right direction!”

“More like the wrong direction. You ran into me!” Ning complained. “Get lost, will ya?”

Ping shook his head, the stars of hope and optimism gleaming in his eyes (whatever the fuck that means, of course).

“I think I’d be flattered if I wasn’t so creeped out,” Ning commented. “Alright fine, you can hang out here as long as you don’t piss me off!”

“HOORAY!” Ping cried, “Oh, thank you Master Ning!”

“Your first order is to stop calling me master,” Ning ordered. “People are gonna get the wrong idea!”

“Hi guys!” Ce shouted, walking in as usual. “Hey, Tong, didn’t you go grocery shopping yesterday?”

“I didn’t buy anything for YOU, if that‘s what you‘re asking,” Tong replied.

Ping’s eyes shot open. “Are you a friend of the Master’s?”

Ce looked horrified—“only in the most normal, heterosexual definition of the word!”

Ning groaned, loudly. Tong tried not to laugh too much.

“What is my second order, Master?” asked Ping.

“Uhhh… go get me a beer,” said Ning. Ping nodded and ran off towards the kitchen. He came back about a second later with a beer and nearly broke his neck getting it for Ning.

“Hey,” said Ning, scowling, “this thing hasn’t been opened —hey, apprentice, what the fuck’re you tryin’, leavin’ this thing closed!? Am I supposed to tear up my hands tryin’ to open this thing? You’re tryin’ to kill me and inherit my legacy, aren’t you!?”

Ping looked aghast—“never, Master!” he squawked, and ran off, returning with a bottle opener.

“That’s better,” said Ning, smirking, “oi, while you’re at it, apprentice, I think the mail came, go down and check for me!”

“And get me a soda while you’re at it,” Tong suggested.

“I’d be honored to serve the master’s friends!” said Ping brightly.

“Absolutely not! There’ll be none of that—your second official order that never ends is no waiting on my idiot acquaintances! They want a servant, they shoulda thought of that before they sucked at life!” said Ning firmly.

Tong scowled. Ping, on the other hand, saluted so vehemently he hit himself in the forehead; he blinked a few times, slightly disoriented, before running off, screaming “FOR THE MASTEEEEEEEEEEER!”

“Weird kid,” said Ning in conclusion, rolling his eyes.

“Right,” said Tong, standing up, rubbing his shoulder, “which reminds me, I’ll see you weirdos later…”

“And where the heck are you going?” Ning asked off-handedly.

“Going to Okuni’s, stupid chem project,” said Tong, rolling his eyes, “which sucks, I know she’s gonna try something!”

“Like seduce you out of your panties again?” Ce guessed, helping himself to—whatever it was, it was going to be gone shortly, so mentioning the name now is like mentioning the name of a fallen soldier. Or something.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Tong, making a face, “ey, you two try and contain your lustful urges when I’m gone, a’ight? Later~”

The door slammed behind him, leaving behind a very awkward Ning and Ce. Yow.

-

Later that afternoon…

Tong groaned. “Okuni, could you focus? For fifteen minutes?”

Okuni giggled. “I am focused, silly! Focused on your adorable face!”

Tong felt himself blush. “Would you knock it off? I, uh—I have a girlfriend!”

“You’re lying,” Okuni accused. She paused—“wait, is it that little tomboy girl?”

“Who? Shang Xiang? No!” said Tong defensively.

“Oh, really?” said Okuni, smirking.

“No! Her name’s Nene!”

“Who? I’m not familiar with anyone named Nene…”

“Doesn’t she live here in this dorm?”

“Oh, you mean that Nene?”

“How many Nenes in this school are there?”

“Well, you see, Nene is a very ethnic name—“ (1)

Tong ignored her. “Whatever. Alright, what’d you get for number 34—“ The main door to Okuni’s apartment swung open. Tong ignored the visitor and continued. “I put ‘internal’ but I don’t think that’s right—“

“DARLING!” Okuni squealed, jumping up.

Tong raised an eyebrow and looked up. Friendly greeting for the pizza guy. His eyes widened when he saw Okuni’s boyfriend Keiji at the door. He’d suffered more than his fair share of bodily harm at Keiji’s hands.

“OKUNI!” Keiji said, “Where’ve you been? I tried calling you, but—“ His eyes settled on Tong. “WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE!?”

“Don’t get any ideas,” Tong grumbled, “I’m just her lab partner—“

“Oh, Keiji, he wouldn’t stop hitting on me,” Okuni wailed, “I told him to go away, but he wouldn’t listen—“

“WHAT!?” Tong asked, outraged. “I did not! I’ve been trying to weasel the answers to YOUR half of the lab report for two hours now!”

“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Okuni whined.

Keiji looked outraged. “Hitting on my girlfriend, huh? Who the hell do you think you are!?”

“I think I’m her lab partner,” Tong growled. “And since when did you two get back together!?” What the hell WAS it with these people!?

“We’re always together! Even when we’re broken up!” Keiji snapped, storming over towards where Tong was. “You best get the hell outta my girl’s apartment!”

“Not until she gives me the rest of the answers to the lab report, DUMBASS,” Tong snapped back.

Keiji grabbed Tong’s shoulders and shoved him. Tong shoved him back. Keiji grabbed his right shoulder; Tong jerked free and punched Keiji in the nose.

“Keiji!” Okuni squealed.

“Hmph,” Keiji snapped, wiping his nose. “Little punk’s got some fight in him!”

“Go to hell! I can do this all day!” Tong scoffed.

Keiji laughed. “What, you think I’m down and out? We’re just getting started, kiddo!” He shoved Tong to the ground and grabbed him by his leg.

“HEY! What the hell are you doing?” Tong shouted. “Leggo, you big stupid— HEY!” he yelled, as Keiji dragged him over towards Okuni’s open window.

“Have a nice fall!” Keiji laughed. “See ya next trip!” He effortlessly tossed screaming Tong out the window, still holding onto his leg; he bent Tong’s leg over the windowsill and slammed the frame down on it. Okuni’s window flower pots wobbled.

Okuni’s room was on the 5th floor of the western tower; so Tong was thankful for the throbbing pain in his right leg. He wasn’t falling fifty feet towards the ground to smash into the concrete sidewalk, for one.

“I think I’ll just let ya hang,” Keiji snorted from inside.

Tong whimpered. “Shit.” If his leg slipped through the window, he would fall and die. He needed to think fast.

Cell phone! He thought. I’ve got my phone!

All the blood was going to his head, but Tong was able to fish his cell phone out of his pocket— and CATCH IT, as he nearly dropped it. He held his arms in front of his upside down head and sent a mass text to everyone in his contact list.

“HELP! I’m stuck hanging out in the window of the 5th floor of West tower! Outside room 517! COME GET ME BEFORE I FALL!”

Lucky for me I know how to text without looking, Tong groaned.

-

That evening…

Unfortunately for Tong, the two people in the school most likely to actually do something to help him out were together. And not paying attention to their phones.

“You mark my words, the only reason he’s going out with that Nene chick is because he likes me and he doesn’t have the balls to admit it,” said Shang Xiang, scowling. “She looks just like me!”

Ning was, quite frankly, trying to watch TV, but the annoying sucker-for-his-friends thing was rearing its ugly head once more. He put the remote down. “I don’t get why you don’t just yell at him like y’usually do,” he said, “you’ve never been shy about yellin’ before.”

“I don’t know why I haven’t either!” said Shang Xiang, still pacing, “dammit—I guess because if he’s ever going to like me, he has to figure it out himself, I guess?”

“Sounds good to me,” answered Ning (whatever floated her boat), and going back to watching TV.

“How can it possibly sound good to you!? Don’t just sit there being useless!! You’re his best guy friend, well you and Ce but I can’t ask him—can’t you think of something useful to say!?” whined Shang Xiang.

“Uhhh—“ Ning was a man who could very rarely find something useful to say, sadly—“uhh—“

“Thanks a lot,” Shang Xiang grumbled, scowling. “I swear, Ning, one of these days I’m going to punch you through the face!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Ning said defensively.

“EXACTLY! You’re useless! Do something useful or stop wasting our precious air!”

Luckily, Ning was spared Shang Xiang’s misplaced wrath (well, in her defense it wasn’t totally misplaced, he was useless) by a loud knock on the door.

“About fucking time!” Ning complained, getting up and shuffling over to the door, “what!?”

“What do you think?” grumbled Mitsunari Ishida, aka Chinese Food Delivery Boy.

Ning made a face at him and collected the food. He glared at Mitsunari. “You can go now!”

“Ahem,” said Mitsunari, “I believe you’re forgetting the payment part of the transaction?”

“Oh, right,” said Ning after a moment. He thought for a second and remembered the $20 he’d ‘borrowed’ from Tong—“here ya go,” he said.

Mitsunari sighed—oh, he hated not-exact change—normally he just took the whole sum of money and ran, but this guy looked like he could, and would, chase him down. Dammit.

“You didn’t tell me you ordered Chinese food!” said Shang Xiang, scowling, “are you holding out on me!?”

“We are Chinese, it’s just food to us,” Ning pointed out, “and that’d better be exact change you’re making over there!”

“Not that he would know if it wasn’t,” piped up Shang Xiang. Ning made a face at her.

“Yeah, yeah,” grumbled Mitsunari, “I’d ask you not to comment on the irony of a Japanese man working at a Chinese food place, but I suppose you’re not intelligent enough to make a note of it.”

“Nah, I just didn’t care,” Ning replied promptly, “how the hell long does it take to make change!?”

“Might I suggest a tip,” said Mitsunari.

“I got a tip for you,” said Ning, “hand over my change and get the fuck outta here before I make some sushi to go with my food!”

“That’s a new one,” said Mitsunari, “but for your information, idiot, I’m not fish, so it wouldn’t be sushi, it’d be sashimi!”

“Sounds good to me,” said Ning, his eyes narrowing.

“Ning, don’t be an ass, he’s a snarky pretty boy,” said Shang Xiang, “the world needs more snarky pretty boys~ unless they’re like Tong, those two-timing back-stabbing doppelganger-from-hell-dating—“

“Good to see you’re not bitter,” said Ning, already more interested in his food. “How’s he a two-timer anyway, he was never a one-timer with you anyway!”

Shang Xiang made a face at him.

“Hey, I didn’t know a sub-evolved creature like yourself could understand sarcasm, let alone use it in daily conversation,” said Mitsunari, looking mildly impressed.

“Hey, what’d you call me? Huh?” Ning demanded.

Mitsunari sighed. “I’m leaving now. Enjoy your food. Or don’t. I don’t care.” And he turned to leave.

“What the heck’re you lookin’ all evil for?” Ning asked, ripping open a take-out box and eying Shang Xiang suspiciously before beginning to devour the poor food.

“Oh, you know,” said Shang Xiang, smirking—“HEY DUDE, WAIT UUUUP!”

“Wait, wh—OW—HEY—LEGGO—“

Ning heard what sounded like an assault going on, but food assault. Besides, he was a defenseless teenager all things considered, he didn’t want to be attacked too.

Shang Xiang came back in the doorway, smiling proudly, dragging Mitsunari along. She made a face at Ning—who had half of his face stuffed inside the take-out box—“NING!”

“What?” asked Ning, but it came out as “sfhjshj?”

“See what I meant about sub-evolved?” Mitsunari asked, rolling his eyes. “I want out of this trio!”

“Stop that,” Shang Xiang scolded.

Mitsunari’s eyes got wide with horror—“oh, I just realized who you remind me of.”

Shang Xiang ignored Mitsunari (a common sentence in the next few chapters, I assure you) and grinned. “Ning, meet my new boyfriend—what’s your name?” Shang Xiang eyed Mitsunari curiously.

“Mitsunari Ishida, and I am not your boyfriend, my ass already belongs to Panda Express!”

“That is a terrible name, y’know,” said Shang Xiang, “it sounds like you’re eating panda—“

A sudden look of disgust crossed Ning’s face, and he eyed the food with a look—then he shrugged and resumed his merciless OMNOMNOM of the food. Panda or no panda, it tasted good~

Mitsunari groaned, loudly. “I am not going to date someone I don’t know,” he said firmly.

“You know me now,” said Shang Xiang, “my name’s Sun Shang Xiang, I have no criminal record as of yet and my dad’s the governor of Florida.”

“YOU’RE RICH!?” Mitsunari squawked, the “$” sign going off above his head, ch-ching sound effect and everything—he quickly regained his composure, putting an arm around Shang Xiang—“yes, I suppose some social interaction would be good for me…”

“Don’t get pregnant,” said Ning, loudly, before going back to his food.

“NING,” hissed Shang Xiang, dragging Mitsunari off by his wrist, “c’mon, Mitsunari, let’s go paint the tooooooown~”

“Hey, wait, I have to get back to work, and they told me I can’t use the ‘I was dragged off and raped’ excuse again without filing a police report,” Mitsunari complained.

Ning yawned. Sweet, all his idiot friends had significant others except him, finally some peace and—

WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK!? Everyone else had a girlfriend/boyfriend (questionable in the case of Shang Xiang) except for HIM!?

Ning groaned, loudly—when did HE become the social pariah!? The loser!? The guy who couldn’t get laid!? The—

Zzz. And now he was asleep.

-

(1) One of the trashy housewives on The Real Housewives of Atlanta (which, as you can imagine, is as far from a show about real housewives) is named NeNe. It’s pronounced “Nee-nee” rather than “Nay-nay” though.

Hmmm. It's that time of story again where I can go for any ideas; if you guys have an idea you'd like to see, hit me with it. Also remember that if your idea is terrible, I won't use it. ;) (just kidding. Or am I? WHO KNOWS)