Summary: "See, Granger, I always knew Dumbledore was crazy, but now I have proof!" "Locking us up in the Room of Requirement doesn't count as an insane thing, Malfoy. Maybe it's a test." "A test? I could rip your head off right now!"

For Dani, who has Draco-induced (and man-on-man kissing-induced) drool sessions with me when the going gets tough XOXO

Once Upon A Social Experiment

Prologue

Hermione Granger pushed back sweaty chestnut brown curls away from her forehead and neck, letting out an annoyed groan. Sprawled out on the bed above her, her best friend's girlfriend Ginny Weasley counted the tiles of her brother's ceiling. Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…

"Damn it, Ron! Have you no mercy?" said the aforementioned boyfriend of Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter. Beads of sweat trickled along his neck as he threw the broken king at the last occupant of the room. Ron Weasley, the last addition to the Golden Trio (and Hermione's crush since god-knows-when), dodged it clumsily and crawled over beside Hermione.

"It was staring right at you, Harry. Don't tell me you didn't see the checkmate coming." The redhead let out a laugh, sliding an arm casually around Hermione's shoulders. "Tell him, Hermione."

Hermione felt her cheeks flush, and it wasn't because of the sweltering heat that occupied the Burrow that lazy summer day. "Well, he is right, Harry…" she said uncertainly, and Harry shot her a well-practiced glare.

"I'll side with you, Harry," Ginny piped up, rolling over and flashing Harry a smile (and a good portion of cleavage, Hermione noted with a slight twinge of disgust). Harry smiled gratefully at her, leaning over and pecking her lips. The kiss lingered longer than usual, and Hermione let out another groan.

"Stop it, you two!" she yelped, and Harry chuckled in amusement as his lips parted with Ginny's. As much as Hermione adored them, really, it wasn't such a beautiful sight watching her best friends or anyone else for that matter make out in front of her.

"By the way Ron, you have almost forty tiles on your ceiling! Isn't that nice?" Ginny giggled.

"The heat is getting to you, woman," Ron grumbled. "Who counts ceiling tiles?"

Ginny opened her mouth to retort, but another Weasley's voice echoed throughout the halls of the Burrow that made all their ears perk up in surprise. "Children, your letters are here!"

Hermione's hazel eyes lit up in excitement, and she scrambled off the floor and rushed across the room to the door. "Why is she in such a rush?" Ron asked Ginny, his brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't know if anyone's excited to go to school at all."

"Silly, she's a candidate for Head Girl!" Ginny scolded, just as Hermione reached the bottom of the stairs to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley was cooking pancakes and bacon on the pan, her plump frame occupying most of the space near the head of the table. Plates and utensils were washing themselves along the sink, and Hermione's eyes moved towards the regal tawny owl perched on the window pane. Pidgwidgeon let out an irritated hoot from his cage near the window, and Hermione ignored him as she strode over to get the letters from the other owl's leg. "Thanks," she murmured gratefully to the owl, petting it warmly on the head. The owl let out a hoot of approval, before hopping around and taking flight towards the Scottish-based castle.

"Well?" Ginny had also arrived downstairs, her fingers entwined with Harry's once they reached the bottom. Ron shot Hermione a look from above the two lovebirds while making a gagging sound, and Hermione rolled her eyes at him in reply before handing the other three their letters. "Did you get it, Hermione?"

"I haven't exactly opened it." Hermione glanced down at the envelope in her hands, and the tension that she'd been trying to ignore all summer finally came upon her shoulders. Dumbledore's neat handwriting gazed back up at her from the front of the envelope, and she found her fingers shaking as she turned the envelope and slowly broke the seal.

She removed the letter. Her eyes scanned the letter, before letting out a squeak.

Draco Malfoy was a very impatient man, pacing back and forth in front of the Owlery in Malfoy Manor. The Malfoys cast Cooling Charms all over the Owlery during hot summer days like this, and Draco was thankful that he wasn't sweating. Malfoys never sweat; it looked dirty and unbecoming. It was the reason why Draco's Quidditch robes were specially made for him to absorb any type of sweat and odor that his body happened to excrete. It was no wonder why he looked so fresh and clean all the time.

He just didn't understand why the letter was taking so bloody long. Was it because he wasn't accepted into Hogwarts anymore? He did work for the Light Side eventually during the War; hell, Harry even forgave him. Was it possible that Dumbledore couldn't? Draco shook his head wildly, his silvery-blonde hair falling into his eyes. No. It wasn't possible.

A screech from the top of the Owlery made Draco's head shoot up in surprise. His eagle, Achilles swooped down in front of him, a very important letter attached to his leg. Draco smiled in amusement, petting the eagle warmly as he untied the letter with one swift motion. "This is it, Achilles," he mumbled. "This is to see if they still want me back or not."

Mr. Draco Lucius Malfoy

Owlery, Malfoy Manor

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

We are pleased to inform you that you have accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is also a pleasure to inform you that you have been considered to qualify for the Head Boy position. Please find enclosed your badge, a list of your co-Head and the Prefects and a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 20, and we expect you to arrive on August 1 for a Head Duties Seminar.

Yours Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress

Draco stared at his letter in shock, even yelping in surprise when the smooth, cool Head Boy badge met his pale fingertips. He examined it carefully. "It's not a joke," he said aloud, his fingers running gently over the 'HB' engraved onto the badge. He let out a sigh and hesitated, staring at the list of the Heads and Prefects nestled inside the envelope.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before removing the list from the parchment envelope. His eyes scanned the parchment, before his eyes rested on the name he dreaded to see next to his.

Head Boy: Draco Malfoy

Head Girl: Hermione Granger