Author: KlynneL PM
The pen is mightier than the sword and words are a big part of Clark's life. All it took was a few well aimed words to change his future.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Clark K./Superman/Kal-El & Lois L. - Chapters: 29 - Words: 66,120 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 01-03-12 - Published: 07-05-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5192098
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I've had this story stuck in my head since I first saw SR in the theater. It just wouldn't go away, so maybe by putting it out there, I'll have a little less clutter in my head. This is my first fanfic so be gentle.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Superman.
She sat at her desk contemplating the silent enigma sitting at his desk in the middle of the crowded office. Sitting there with her son perched on his lap, laughing at the joy only the innocence of childhood could bring, she pondered him again, thinking of the time he was gone. He was her best friend, her partner. He knew her better than she knew herself. She was brash, he was quiet; she grabbed life by the balls, he was happy just to be. His quiet confidence inspired her. Nobody saw it, but she did, she always saw – him, just has he could see her.
She watched as his eyes turned to the monitors above them, full of sadness, pain. It was there, but nobody noticed it, nobody but her, and the little bundle of joy that sat perched on his lap, picking raisins out of a box.
Gently, he put Jason down, whispering something in his ear. He rose from his seat, and walked quietly to the elevator. Nobody noticed his retreat. It had been three days since he came back to work. Four days since he woke from slumber, a week since he came back from wherever.
Lois was lost in thought as she ascended the stairs to the roof of the Daily Planet. This was their place, at least one of them. Here, high above the city, they could meet, talk, dream. Things were so much simpler back then. She could be open with him, tease him, but she didn't dare do those things now. There was too much at stake. God, why was that alien so stupid? Did he really think the best course of action was inaction? Leave things as they are? For cryin' out loud, they had a son together! It was the least he could do….
How is it possible to stand there, looking over a city with millions of people, and feel so alone? Clark thought. Why am I so lonely, when there is life all around me? Why can't we have the life we have always desired? Why am I such a coward? How can I get back what I lost so long ago?
As Lois opened the door to the roof, Clark slumped at the parapet surrounding the rooftop, staring out upon the city.
"I knew I'd find you up here," she said, half to herself. "How are you?"
Clark turned to her surprised by the concern he heard in her voice.
"I-I'm okay. Just a little overwhelmed is all. It's been harder coming back than I thought." He adjusted his glasses. "How did you know I'd be up here?"
"I always know," she answered, then stopped as if holding back the rest of her thought.
"Perry said your mom called, said that they found you unconscious near where Superman crashed. You were in the hospital?"
More concern. This was the Lois that only Clark had seen in the past.
"Yeah, I guess I wasn't watching where I was going," Clark gave his best attempt at a sheepish smile but it felt more like a grimace.
"I went out to help look for you and ended up getting jumped by a group of thugs. They stabbed me in the back and left me for dead." Clark disguised a shudder with a shrug.
"When I woke up, the hospital was flooded with people waiting for news on Superman."
"That was quite the crowd." Lois commented. "I'm glad that you're okay now."
"Yeah, I'm okay." Clark mumbled, more to himself, than to her. I'm much better than I was then, thank you. You gave to me what I was missing. I should tell you.
"Um, Lois, could I, could I tell you about something that I think happened while I was in the hospital? I really would like to talk to – a friend."
Clark noticed a slight hesitation as Lois answered, "Sure, Clark, whatever you need. I'm here for you."
"Gee, where do I begin?" Clark stumbled to find the words. His nervousness compounded with every second. Turning away from Lois, he removed his glasses and started fiddling with them. He knew that once he said what he had to say, what needed to be said, any chance at a normal life was over. This was Lois Lane to whom he was about to spill his guts. The woman he loved, the mother of his child, the one he had let down. But he knew that this was right. She needed to know.
"Clark?" Lois broke into his thoughts, "Earth to Clark, are you there?"
Clark put his glasses back on as he turned to face her. "Oh, sorry. It's just, you know, it's kind of difficult. I'm not used to talking about myself, to you." Lois flinched.
"When I was unconscious, I felt someone come into my room. Someone I care deeply for, but I thought I had lost forever. See, before I left, there was someone, someone that I loved, I hoped to marry. Things didn't work out and I left."
Clark heard a slight hitch in Lois' breath as she moved closer to him. "What I didn't know, what she came to tell me, is that when I left, I left her with a part of me. She told me, 'I want you to know…'"
"…Jason is yours — you are a father, Kal-el" Lois finished for him. Clark looked at her as she spoke those life-changing words, shock evident on his face.
"I know," she said. "I remember it all. I waited for you to come back to me for so long, to tell me everything again. I was so angry when you left. So hurt. How could you leave me, leave us?"
"I didn't know; if I did…"
"You never would have left. But you had to, didn't you? You had to see for yourself. I think you are more curious than I ever could be. That's what makes you such a good reporter: you are always asking questions — questioning everything.
"Everything, but the most important question, 'why can't you be with me?' 'Why can't you just love me?'"
"How long have you known?" he asked, his voice pensive as he looked into her face, "How could you - "
"It came to me as I realized that both Superman, and Clark were gone. We had your farewell party, said our good-byes and you left, both of you. I knew then who you were; you were the man who could fly, while still keeping both feet on the ground; the one man who can keep me grounded as well. This also helped," with that she walked to him unfolding a very fragile-looking scrap of paper. As she unfolded it, Clark gasped. It was a picture of Superman, with glasses and a suit jacket drawn over it. "I can never forget who you are," she said, placing his hand on her stomach where she once carried their child.
Clark was in awe of this woman. She knew him, all of him. She hadn't forgotten; never let him go. He was always there, hidden in her heart. He was a part of her, as she was a part of him. He knew that now.
AN: Thanks to Mak5258 for beta-ing. You are awesome!