A/N: LOL! For everyone who was wondering, no, Zero didn't get arrested, although he came close to it... but more on that later in the chapter. ;D Oh, and for the life of me I can't remember if I already gave Night Haven a different name, but if I did I can't remember and can't find where it was, so just ignore my early Alzheimer's. I'm really tired and posting this early because I'm going to be away over the weekend, so I apologize if it's less proofed than usual.

Individual review responses are in my forum, as usual. Link to them is in my bio.

Chapter Four: "Questions of Desire"

Grey dawn was starting to lighten the edges of the horizon beyond the trees that blanketed the eastern portion of the Kuran / Kiriyu estate. Kaname had aptly, and somewhat ironically named their villa and the surrounding lands Night Haven because he said it was their sanctuary where they didn't have to hide and the world wasn't allowed. It was a bit of a drive from the city where Kaname worked. The pureblood had an apartment in town that he sometimes used as well, but Kaname liked his privacy and preferred to stay at Night Haven, especially when Zero was around.

Zero preferred it too. Kaname's penthouse was great, but he couldn't help thinking of this place as home. Maybe because it was the place Kaname had gotten specifically for the two of them and so many of their happy memories had been made here over the last few years. Half of Night Haven was technically Zero's. Kaname had made sure that everything was jointly in their names. He hadn't had to do that of course, but he'd insisted.

Speaking of Kaname...

Zero got up from his spot on the couch in front of the TV when he sensed Kaname walking up the path to the house. It was pretty late. Well... early, actually, which meant late in vampire terms. He'd made sure the serving staff had retired at their accustomed time, preferring to have the house to himself while he waited. He'd been beginning to wonder if Kaname was even going to come home at all.

The pureblood drew to a slight halt when Zero opened the door before he could reach for it. The hunter usually only came to the door to greet him when he was either eager to see him, or when he was pissed. Kaname had a sinking feeling it was the latter and he couldn't blame his lover one bit.

Mutely, Kaname proffered the box of double-dark chocolates he was carrying as an obvious apology gift. over 60% cacao, they were handmade by one of the local confectionaries and Kaname knew it was a favorite. Zero didn't have much of a sweet tooth, but he did seem to enjoy the more bitter tang of dark chocolate. Kaname had observed that he had a definite for this brand in particular.

Zero accepted the box, a faint hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite himself. In spite of what Kaname may think, Zero hadn't come to greet him because he was upset. He just... he wanted to see Kaname. Deep down, the truth behind his frustration and irritation was that he just plain missed the pureblood. He'd been away so long and he ached to simply be near him.

After having most of the day to think about it, he'd decided it wasn't fair of him to hold Kaname's busyness and preoccupation against him now when it was Zero's job that had kept them apart for almost two months previously. Kaname had asked him to leave, but hadn't otherwise complained, so Zero really had no right to be upset over a few missed meals and some long hours. He should feel guilty for even letting it bother him.

The hunter had already decided that he was going to just put those feelings behind him, but even if he hadn't the tired, sorry, somewhat apprehensive and yet hopeful look on Kaname's face as he stood on the doorstep probably would have melted him anyway. Kaname could look like such a damn puppy sometimes, and he loved this man so much it hurt.

That was not to say, however, that Zero was above taking the chocolates. They were really good after all, and the scent told him Kaname had gotten the orange flavored ones, which were the best. Zero stepped back, waiting for Kaname to enter. "Well? The sun's coming up you know."

Kaname smiled faintly and entered, shutting the door behind him. He could hear that the television was on in the living room, playing the morning news.

"I made you dinner," the hunter said quietly. "I didn't know when you'd be back, so I've got it in the fridge, I'll pull it out and heat it up while you change," he offered. Looking away, Zero slid the top from the chocolate box and took a bite off the edge of one of the dark, flat squares. It had no filling, but the chocolate itself was infused with a tangy citrus flavor. He chewed, seeking distraction. He always felt like he should feel uncomfortably domestic at moments like these, but he didn't. Actually, it felt all too comfortable. He liked cooking for and taking care of Kaname and that did not make him at all girly. Half the chefs on TV were guys. So there.

Kaname looked touched and perhaps even more guilty. "I left you messages," the pureblood said softly. "Did you get them?" He set his briefcase down on the small foyer table and shrugged out of his suit coat.

Zero had, all six of them. Two from Seiren - the first saying that Kaname was stuck on an overseas phone call and would be late, the second also from her saying that Kaname was still stuck and was not going to be able to make it. Then there were four increasingly remorseful messages from Kaname himself afterwards, apologizing and asking Zero to call him back.

"After I came home," Zero acknowledged. He shrugged ruefully, a little apologetic himself. "I forgot my phone."

Kaname's eyes darkened slightly, registering a bit of surprise and then regret. "Oh... I'm sorry. I would have called the restaurant if I knew that. I thought..." his fingers played with the lapel of his suit coat as he held it over his arm. "I thought you just didn't want to talk to me." He cleared his throat quickly and draped the suit coat over the edge of the table. "I hope you didn't wait too long?"

Zero shrugged again, finishing the piece of chocolate and licking his fingertips lightly. He set the box down on the table beside Kaname's coat. "About an hour. Pissed off a nice gaggle of aristocratic blood suckers." His lips quirked a little more.

Kaname looked truly stricken as he realized how long Zero had waited for him in what must have become a fairly hostile atmosphere. "Zero, I'm sorry, truly. Representatives from Trifecta called and I had to talk with them... if it had been anyone else..." his eyes flashed slightly both in remorse and frustration. He would much rather have spent lunch with Zero. Damn these stupid people and their stupid maneuverings and this whole stupid mess!

Zero leaned in and kissed Kaname lightly and unexpectedly. For half an unforgiveable moment, Kaname actually tensed, a cold tendril that had never been there before shooting down his spine. Quickly, the pureblood forced it down, allowing a welcome thrill of surprise and warmth to take its place. If Zero was kissing him then he probably wasn't too upset after all, and that was quite a relief. He responded slowly, parting his lips as Zero's tongue caressed him. The hunter tasted like dark chocolate and oranges; he was delicious in more ways than one.

Kaname leaned into Zero, hands sliding to his shoulders as the kiss deepened and Kaname started becoming a lot more than just relieved. The pureblood pushed the hunter up against the wall, tipping his head and delving deeper into the warm mouth with a soft, shuddering intake of breath. There was certainly no mistaking the elder vampire's interest in his partner now and Zero pulled him close, feeling familiar and welcome heat bubble up inside him as Kaname pressed his back firmly into the wall, their bodies brushing lightly together.

Long pale fingers tangled in Kaname's dark tresses as the kissing turned passionate and they started sucking the breath from one another's bodies. For once, the hunter didn't really care where they were. They could do it right here and he was just fine with that, so long as he could touch Kaname... could be close to him, could feel like he was being let into that place in Kaname's soul where nothing but the two of them existed.

It was silly of him to feel insecure. He knew that Kaname loved him and - as unbelievable as it was - he probably always would. Zero felt the same. Spending the rest of his life with Kaname was starting to become something of a given in his mind, and it was a surprisingly comfortable one.

It was just that, what with the way Kaname had been acting, he had been left to assume that either Kaname was upset with him, or that perhaps familiarity and predictability were merely taking their inevitable toll. Which was understandable, perhaps even natural in the course of any long term relationship, but still surprisingly disheartening. Kaname had spoiled him rotten and he knew it. He hadn't realized just how accustomed he had become to Kaname being almost annoyingly crazy about him until... well... until he wasn't anymore, and Zero suddenly realized it hadn't been so terribly annoying after all.

Zero kissed his lover hungrily, passionately, as if he could pull the pureblood into him. He wanted... needed Kaname to love him with the kind of desire that they'd had that one night almost a month ago. Whether he'd admit it or not, he was still a little raw inside from dealing with the other hunters and he craved the way Kaname's love and his passion made him feel whole.

Kaname lost himself in the kiss, forgetting his initial fears and reveling in the heat of Zero's mouth and the feel of his body pinned against him. It was so easy to just not think of anything when he was with Zero like this. It was a balm his soul badly needed, one he had been denying himself for far too long. He'd missed Zero desperately when he was gone, missed him so utterly desperately it had been pathetic. Maybe that was even part of why it had hit him so hard when the situation with Orion blew up right before Zero came home - his emotional reserves had already been at a low ebb.

Kaname explored Zero's moist heat, soaking up the hunter's taste. His hands traversed the flat skin of Zero's stomach, under the hem of the long sleeved tee he was wearing. Kaname's body trembled with desire as Zero moaned against his lips. Oh God... he wanted him so much. He brushed his tongue across Zero's fangs, teasing him and feeling their sharpness as they started to lengthen a little in response...

White fangs, smiling at him. Their hard, sharp points scratching his gums as they were forced into his mouth, swallowing his screams...

Kaname felt cold all over and jerked very slightly when Zero's teeth brushed his gums. Zero was still kissing him but for half a second, it hadn't been Zero, and that both terrified and infuriated him. This was what he feared... that he would touch Zero, and not see him. Maybe it was his very fear that made it so, but even if that was the case there was little he could do about it. He... he couldn't do this. It wasn't fair to Zero either. Kaname was a basket case right now and his lover shouldn't have to put up with that. Kaname should never see anyone but the hunter when he touched him. He felt very guilty, and very soiled.

Kaname found himself breathing hard. He tried to gently pull his head away, but Zero wouldn't let him go. The hunter was far too aroused and far too hungry for his lover. The thought that Kaname might be trying to actually disengage didn't even cross his mind. He thought Kaname was just shifting and he followed him, kissing him heatedly, his hands stroking his lover's neck and shoulders. Kaname's hands had left his stomach and he felt the loss sharply as the pureblood's body also started to ease away.

Following naturally, Zero used the shift to reverse their positions, turning them swiftly so Kaname's back was now pinned against the wall as they kissed. His breath shuddered against the pureblood's moist lips, his chest hitching almost unbearably with the weight of his love and desire. He rocked his hips against Kaname, pressing him into the wall.

Zero did not realize that Kaname's trembling was no longer from arousal. He kissed with closed eyes and did not see the fear that momentarily darkened the pureblood's gaze before it was quickly locked away once more. Kaname's heart pounded harshly at being pursed and restrained, even though he was quite aware that he was far from helpless and Zero would never want to hurt him. It was a stupid, stupid, totally unforgivable reaction that he couldn't seem to suppress or control. The pureblood hated himself completely.

Kaname's hands slid to Zero's shoulders, holding on as he fought with everything he had not to thrust Zero violently away from him. The pain and confusion inside him was intense, but he desperately did not want to impart that to Zero. The hunter would be so hurt if he pushed him away, how could he not be? Not to mention that Kaname would seem like a complete head case.

This wasn't Zero's fault, it was his own and Kaname fought to control himself and get back into the moment. Inside, he wanted to cry from frustration. Even if he could manage to keep going through the motions, he feared he was doing his lover a great disservice. Zero was good, and innocent... and it wasn't fair to taint him with every kiss, with every touch, and that was exactly what Kaname felt like he was doing. He'd tried to avoid Zero without being too obvious about it the past few days. Right now, intimacy cropped up a whole slew of demons Kaname didn't want to deal with and actually made his palms feel clammy. But that was totally stupid, right? He could get past this... he needed to get past this.

Kaname forced himself to kiss back as if nothing was wrong, waiting to feel the response he should be feeling, willing himself to see Zero and only Zero. His stomach was in knots, his emotions roiling. Trying to force himself to feel aroused when fear and unease were his primary emotions was not a wise idea. Given Kaname's history, it was perhaps a very dangerous idea. The pureblood was not in a stable state and some of the dark tethers inside him suddenly seemed to slide free. Zero's finger's firmly messaged his bite area and Kaname did feel surge of sensation and desire finally... but it was not the kind he wanted.

A dark, vicious lust dug its claws into Kaname's stomach with a sudden, unexpected harshness that made him gasp. It was not the kind of yearning he usually felt for his lover, not even the darker desire they sometimes played with in their more rough and vampiric moments. This was something much blacker and more cruel. Something that was strangely familiar, and yet foreign. Something that hungered only for pain, blood and fear. He found himself wanting to throw Zero down and tear him open, to take him again and again until the hunter screamed and begged for mercy. To give only pain, not pleasure. His senses throbbed with a purely bestial drive to possess, to plunder, to rend, to lay open flesh and taste the bitter tears and mortality of the object you desired. To savor that object's screams as you carved yourself into their body and filled them with all that they could taken and then more.

Kaname's fangs engaged. They nicked Zero's tongue and the inside of his mouth, drawing blood. Zero had no objections, it was a frequent occurrence and he sucked Kaname's tongue, intentionally imparting the taste of his blood. He had no idea the dangerous line they were now walking.

The coppery flavor of Zero, mingled with the dark fever trying to grip him jolted Kaname harshly. He was suddenly assaulted with bloody, seductive mental images of Zero torn and bleeding, lying on the floor, broken, fearful, pleading for it to end...

You don't know the true beauty of a thing until you've seen what it looks like completely broken and made raw for you, are you too young to understand that, Kaname? You will someday...

Kaname's stomach lurched. His heart pounded deafeningly in his ears. The words were familiar, but not familiar. He knew the voice that spoke them, but could not recall having heard them spoken. Utter dread and self-loathing filled him as he was torn between twisted arousal and heart-rending horror at the dreadfulness which his mind was conjuring for him. It was like being stuck in his nightmare again, only somehow Zero had been pulled into it now, and Kaname could never forgive himself for that.

No... NO! This was not him, not what he desired! It couldn't be. It couldn't be! He could not hurt Zero. He didn't want to, not like that. He desired Zero's passion and his pleasure and his love, not his subjugation and fear, not... not seeing him like that. It wasn't what he wanted! NEVER! He couldn't believe the desire was even there, it made him sick. The intense revulsion and illness he felt at the mental images was strong enough to snap him out of the hazy fervor.

Kaname was hyperventilating.

Zero groaned softly, a faint note of pain entering the sound now. Kaname was gripping his shoulders so tightly it was starting to bruise.

With monumental effort, Kaname regained control, his breath coming raggedly, pulse pounding in his temples like the start of the world's worst migraine. He quickly eased his grip on Zero's arms as he forced the kiss to become gentler. He wasn't aroused anymore, he felt far too sick, too confused... too scared. What he had wanted to do, what he had felt horribly close to doing, and the mere fact that he had wanted it, terrified him.

Tenderly, he caressed Zero's swollen lips, fingers lightly brushing his bruised shoulders. He should have known better. He was feeling too unbalanced. There was too much wrong in him, too much darkness... he could not expose his beloved to that. It was too dangerous. He could not hurt Zero. He could never let those images in his mind come to be. He could never for a moment let himself take any kind of pleasure in them. He would rather die.

Gently but firmly this time, Kaname eased out of the kiss. He caressed Zero's mouth and jaw with his lips tenderly as he interjected a little space between them once more, not leaving any ambiguity about his intentions to withdraw. He tried to be matter-of-fact about it, he didn't want Zero to think there was anything wrong if it could be helped. He ached for his lover badly… but he was too confused and far too afraid to touch him further just now.

"Dinner would be great, thank you, Zero," Kaname murmured, his voice husky as he cupped the hunter's flushed cheek. Zero's eyes were glazed and somewhat surprised. He blinked as if not quite able to follow the shift in course. Fangs showed between his semi-parted, enticingly flushed lips and Kaname had to quickly look away before his gaze was drawn there, before his resolve started to crumble and he crossed too close to the unforgiveable.

Zero felt at a loss, he didn't to understand why the pureblood was pulling away and he was extremely reluctant to release him. He rocked his hips against Kaname again, slowly, almost questioningly. It was only then that Zero realized, much to his humiliation, that he was the only one of them who was aroused.

Embarrassment and uncertainty brought him up short, kindling a sickly heat that flamed in his cheeks. It was kind of unnerving to realize he was alone in his feelings, especially after all that intense making out. Oh crap, was Kaname just... just humoring him? Quickly, Zero released the pureblood and backed off, letting Kaname move away from the wall. Crap, crap, crap... he must seem so pathetically desperate. He ought to say something, but all the blood required for thought currently seemed to be elsewhere and he knew if he opened his mouth he was just going to start babbling and humiliate himself further.

Zero was so damn attractive, so incredibly alluring when he was aroused and uncertain and Kaname could see his confusion. He could see that even though it was the very last thing he wanted, he'd still managed to hurt his lover. The pain cut him deep, but he didn't know what else he could do. He ached to sooth that look off of Zero's face. Kaname felt like something inside him was stretched painfully taught, like a rubber band drawn almost to the breaking point. It was physically hard for him to not pull the hunter back into his arms immediately. Only the resolve drawn from his intense love for Zero enabled him to pull away and retrieve his suit coat and briefcase from the table. He couldn't trust himself, and he couldn't take chances. Not with Zero.

"I'll change and be right down," he murmured, his gaze trailing Zero's face almost wistfully for a moment before he withdrew, heading down the hall and up the stairs towards the bedroom.

Zero was left standing in the foyer alone, blinking in shock. He was flushed, breathing rapidly, painfully aroused and just as painfully confused. What, was all that about? Kaname wasn't in the mood? Kaname was always in the mood for crying out loud! He'd been ready to think he was imagining everything a few minutes ago… but there was no mistaking it really, was there? Even if Kaname was upset with him, that had never effected his desire before, never made it so that Kaname was totally unaffected by Zero's kisses. The only possible explanation was that Kaname didn't…. didn't really want him. At least, not right now. Zero knew his lover far too well, and if Kaname wanted something he got it, especially when it was being very willingly offered.

The hunter leaned on the table beside him, his hands curling to fists on the polished surface, his lungs aching, curiously devoid of air. He felt like such a prize idiot, acting like he had. The thought that Kaname had perhaps responded just because he felt sorry for his lover or wanted to make him happy was mortifying. Maybe it shouldn't be, maybe for other couples that was in fact completely normal, but Zero was simply so used to having his feelings reciprocated... he didn't know how to react.

As the surprise started to dull, however, he quickly started becoming angry with himself for being so stupid about all this. Kaname just didn't feel like it, what was the big freaking deal? It was merely a fact. He didn't always feel like it either. Stop acting like a petulant child who isn't getting enough attention! Seriously, have you no self respect?

Apparently he didn't, because he kept replaying the last few minutes in his mind and trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. It usually took very little to get Kaname turned on, the pureblood was normally so responsive to him. Maybe... maybe he counted on that too much. Maybe his absence had somehow changed things. Ichiru used to be like this sometimes, when they were young. He would cling to Zero and act like his whole world revolved around him... but then at times he would pull away or be unexpectedly cruel. Zero had loved his brother, and even after all this time the dynamic of their relationship had left more of a mark on his psyche than he completely realized. He wondered if there was something flawed in him that made people act this way. The bitter truth, of course, was that his brother had hated him.

Zero swallowed slowly, forcing those useless thoughts away. Kaname didn't, though. Kaname loved him, Zero knew that. But Zero also knew he wasn't always the easiest person to be with. If anyone was going to put the brakes on, it was usually him. Maybe Kaname was tired of putting up with his crap and doing so much of the pursuing in their relationship. Maybe Zero needed to put a little more effort into it and make sure Kaname knew that he was loved and desired, very much.

Or maybe Zero needed to stop freaking thinking too much and just get Kaname his food... smiling mirthlessly at himself, Zero pushed away from the table and headed for the kitchen. Geez, what was with him? When had he become so hopelessly neurotic and started over-analyzing every little thing? It was irritating as hell. Stop reading something into nothing.

Upstairs, Kaname was tearing through his bathroom cabinet with trembling fingers, careful to keep their bond tightly closed off on his end, as usual lately, so Zero would not sense his feelings. He found his now seldom-used bottle of blood tablets and quickly downed almost all of them, chewing and swallowing the chalky pills with handfuls of water scooped from the tap, heedless of the bitter taste.

Control. He needed control. Emotional turmoil tended to stimulate a vampire's need for blood, and that was an urge that was completely not helpful right now. The thoughts he'd had about Zero were still terrifying the hell out of him.

Sure, sometimes he had the natural vampiric urge to revel in Zero's blood or push them both well out along that fine line between pain and ecstasy. There was no denying he liked to hear his lover scream and beg... but from pleasure. He liked to hear him beg for more, not for mercy. It came from his desire to love Zero, not to hurt him. Therein lay the difference. For Kaname, anything enjoyable with Zero was always about love. He'd never felt like he wanted to destroy Zero before, not like this. His heart was still pounding. The only thing keeping him from clawing into his despicable, dirty, corrupted flesh and tearing as deep as he could to punish himself and drive the horrible, haunting images away was that Zero would smell his blood.

Kaname was running on empty after the past few days. His control was low and that was apparently dangerous. He needed to force himself to be calm and he couldn't. What could he do? He couldn't go back downstairs and act like everything was fine in his current state. But after missing lunch today, Kaname knew he would hurt and offend Zero deeply if he left him hanging again now and just went to bed after saying he'd be back down.

Kaname breathed deeply. He was a master of masks, and he could do this. He could try to make sure that his own stupid failings hurt Zero as little as possible. But... how could he possibly relax and let himself go near Zero again tonight? He needed some kind of insurance that he wouldn't vamp out all over again if Zero tried to get close to him.

In the back of the cabinet, he found a bottle of powerful, vampire grade sedatives. He'd gotten them to see if they could help him sleep when the nightmares had started, but had taken them only once because he found they induced an uncomfortable dulling of his senses and put him into a sleepy state he couldn't control. That was the idea, of course, but it made him feel vulnerable and he didn't like it.

They were insurance, though. If he took these, he could be certain he wouldn't hurt Zero, because he wasn't going to be awake for more than an hour or so. The bottle warned of some mild side effects, including severely reduced sexual function and Kaname grinned bitterly. Yeah, like he needed any more help being dysfunctional right now. But given his current fears, that too, was probably a good thing.

Kaname popped several of the pills and washed them down with another handful of water.

Kaname was upstairs for a long time. By the time he came down again, Zero had already heated the food and retreated to the living room again, curled up watching TV and eating his chocolates. Kaname's food was set out along with silverware, napkin and a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of the couch. The presentation was inviting and cozy, despite the location. If Kaname wanted to go eat in the dining room, he could take it in there himself. Zero was kind of hoping Kaname would choose to stay with him.

Kaname did. He slid down on the couch next to Zero, giving his lover a kiss on the cheek and eyeing the food appreciatively. "Thank you, it looks great," he said quietly. He knew he was probably confusing Zero with the mixed messages he was sending, but he wasn't sure how to fix things. He appreciated that Zero seemed to be so easy going and patient with him. He smiled at the other vampire. "I don't deserve you."

Zero grinned a little. "Darn right," he teased, but it was obvious he didn't mean it and just to make sure it was clear, he gave Kaname's thigh a little squeeze, his eyes gentle and filled with a soft, barely hidden longing. "Thanks for these," he said, lifting the half empty chocolate box a little. "Maybe you should miss lunch more often."

It was a joke, intended to make Kaname smile and it worked. The pureblood seemed a little more at ease and he and Zero sat in comfortable silence together while Kaname ate and Zero watched the end of the news before flipping to a sports station.

Kaname felt so comfortable with Zero like this, it felt so right to be near him... it was worth the sacrifice of having to fight with himself. Just being in the same room with Zero made his whole evening worthwhile.

After he finished eating, Kaname leaned back against the couch cushions and rested his head on Zero's shoulder. The hunter seemed momentarily surprised, but only too happy to wrap his arm around Kaname's shoulders. They watched the sporting event on TV together for a little while.

"I can tell you who's going to win," Kaname murmured after a few minutes.

Zero grinned a little. Kaname had an unerring knack for making accurate guesses halfway through a game. "Oh? Your super deductive pureblood reasoning enlightening you already?" he teased. "It's only just started."

Kaname smiled against his shoulder. "No, this is a replay from yesterday, I heard the scores on the radio earlier."

Zero chuckled, the sound rumbling pleasantly under Kaname's ear. "Okay, well don't tell me. It's more fun if I don't know."

"Zero, I... I know I haven't been very pleasant to live with since you came back. I'm sorry," Kaname whispered after a few moments, when the game cut away to a commercial break. "Be patient with me a little longer, it will get better. When this whole situation is over, let's go away somewhere, just the two of us," he murmured, turning his face in against Zero's neck and contentedly inhaling his scent.

Zero nuzzled him in return, unable to keep his heart rate from rising and his still fairly keyed up body from responding to his lover's nearness as Kaname's eyelashes brushed unintentional butterfly kisses against his throat. Kaname's words and the comfortable togetherness they had shared the past half hour or so soothed him. He continued trying to convince himself that Kaname was just tired, distracted and stressed. "Sounds good," he murmured back. "As long as you promise not to bring your phone." The hunter felt Kaname smile against his skin.

"Promise." The pureblood's words vibrated against his neck and Zero shivered slightly.

"Want some chocolate?" Zero offered after a small pause. "It's really good..." there was a playful note of temptation in his voice, so Kaname agreed.

"Sure..." the pureblood lifted his head to find Zero offering him a square of the flat chocolate... held between the hunter's teeth.

Zero's attempt at a seductive smile looked adorably hesitant and his cheeks were a little pink. The look in his eyes melted Kaname like a piece of said chocolate on a hot summer's day. Despite knowing what a bad idea it was, the pureblood straightened, kneeling sideways on the couch so he could lean in and take the exposed half of the chocolate in his mouth, his lips softly brushing Zero's as he did.

It was too easy for him to be instinctively sensual, too easy for him to respond to Zero like he very much wanted to do. Kaname's agile tongue ran along the chocolate connecting them, brushing Zero's lips in the process and acquiring the flavor of both.

Zero's hand tightened in Kaname's sleeve and he gave a small, but firm tug, pulling Kaname off balance enough that he would be forced to shift in the desired direction. Kaname tensed slightly, but did not resist, allowing Zero to pull him onto the hunter's lap. He knelt over Zero's thighs, sitting lightly on his knees, Kaname's own knees pressed against the back of the couch on either side of Zero's hips. It was actually a very comfortable position and judging by the deep intake of breath and pleased response on Zero's part, a very suggestive one.

Kaname, however, felt a flash of vulnerability at being spread over Zero like this. It did not belong to this very sweet and very private moment and he resented it like an intruder, shoving it away and willingly rocking against Zero to try and get his body to forget things it should never remember. It was obvious Zero wanted more. He could do this. He could already feel the drugs in his system starting to slowly creep up on him, so Zero was safe. Kaname doubted that even he could vamp out while heavily sedated. Now if only he could stay awake long enough...

Zero leaned forward a little, meeting Kaname's lips around the chocolate, their moist tongues darting in and out, mating with one another around the melting square that colored their taste buds and painted the kiss in a deep, chocolatey kind of bliss. Kaname's graceful fingers caressed Zero's neck and Zero's hands slid down to grip his lover's backside, rocking him against him, determined to please Kaname and love him totally.

Zero felt so good and Kaname's heart sang with the beauty of the contact and the strong appeal of this lovely closeness. "I love you, Zero," he murmured around the chocolate and the kisses, his voice soft and aching to be believed.

Zero's tender gaze said it was. He bit the piece of chocolate, making it smaller between them so he could more easily caress Kaname's enticing lips. "Are you mad at me, Kaname?" he whispered in a soft, hesitant voice after a moment, having broken the kiss long enough to speak.

Kaname blinked almost owlishly at him, as if the question were so unexpected and unthinkable he had no response. "At you?"

Zero nodded, leaning in to lick a smudge of chocolate from underneath Kaname's lower lip. "For being away so long. For not coming home with you when you asked," he whispered, his gaze diverted and slightly fearful. "It wasn't because I didn't want to..."

Kaname caught his face in his hands and tilted Zero's head back up. "No," he said firmly, the conviction of it showing clearly and honestly in his gaze. "No, Zero, I'm not at all upset about that. I missed you terribly and I hope you don't have to go away again for such an extended period for a very long time, but I'm not angry. I know you had to go and you couldn't leave..." he smiled wryly. "That was just me... wishing..." he admitted.

Very relieved, Zero leaned in and fused their mouths together again, savoring Kaname's taste, which was even better than the chocolate.

After a moment it was Kaname who drew back his head to speak. "Are you mad at me, Zero? For missing lunch? And for neglecting you so terribly?" he whispered.

Zero shook his head, caressing Kaname's jaw with his thumb. "I know you're busy. I wish you wouldn't work so hard, but I get that you have to."

It was Kaname's turn to look relieved. "I'll make it up to you," he promised.

Zero paused again and smiled mischievously. "Okay, you can pay for the speeding ticket I got on the way home after the lunch you didn't attend."

Kaname gave a deep, genuine laugh. "Speeding ticket? Why Zero, I'm shocked..."

Zero rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture. You'd have a pile of them if you didn't have a driver most of the time and if you were more scrupulous about not tampering with memories when you do get pulled over. But it's your fault I got this one or I would have been having lunch instead of explaining to a police officer what I was doing out at 2:00am on a..." Zero scowled. "On a school night."

Zero was in his early 20s, but he didn't look it. Kaname may love the fact that the hunter still looked exactly like he had when he was 17, but Zero found it to be a pain occasionally.

"Okay, it was my fault. It's a deal," Kaname agreed, still chuckling, his tired eyes twinkling more than they had in a while. "I had no idea your forgiveness was so inexpensive."

Zero grinned back. "You haven't seen the ticket yet. I was pushing 120 in a 45 zone and the officer was not amused. He was convinced my ID was fake so I was also cited for city curfew violation on top of everything else. Oh, and of course... there are the chocolates too," he added with a wink.

Kaname chuckled again. There were so many incredible reasons to love this boy. "Curfew violation? Is that even a ticketable offence? I think he was looking for things to throw at you. He really mustn't have been amused. Of course..." Kaname fondled one of Zero's ear-cuffs, the one shaped like a little skull. "You do realize you look rather like a delinquent, I'm surprised I didn't have to come bail you out of jail."

Zero's eyes narrowed in mock indignation, unable to repress a small shiver as Kaname's fingers fondled his ear. "Oh I do, do I?" He shrugged wryly, his hands lightly wrapped around the back of Kaname's neck. He decided not to enlighten his lover on how close to that actually happening they had come. Maybe he should make a mental note to not give police officers attitude in the future, no matter how bad of a mood he was in. "Well, you didn't. Disappointed?"

"Of course I am," Kaname quirked a half-smile that made Zero's eyes narrow further. "It would have been fun to see you in handcuffs..." the pureblood explained innocently.

Zero growled softly, flushing predictably as he tugged Kaname back to him. In actuality though, he was relieved by the normalcy of the pureblood's teasing and his smile was soft when their lips met.

Kaname easily melted back into Zero's warm, tender kisses, content to lose himself in the hunter. He didn't want it to end, even if he didn't particularly want it to go any farther. The sedatives he'd taken were starting to really take hold now and he began to feel drowsy, his senses dulling.

He would not resist if Zero pushed the matter. He would not say no, whether or not he enjoyed the intimacy. He didn't want to say no to Zero. He wanted to please him, to make him happy and give him everything he desired. His difficulty in doing so made him frustrated and angry with himself. Although kissing and touching Zero like this was absolutely wonderful, his inner apprehension, the pills and his growing sleepiness kept him from getting too worked up and his body unfortunately betrayed his apparent lack of serious interest.

They kissed for quite a while, until the chocolate was gone and they had thoroughly licked all traces of it from one another's lips and mouths. Kaname truly seemed to be enjoying the contact and in no hurry for it to end, but Zero had failed to get any other kind of reaction from him. The pureblood's body was soft and pliant against him where their hips were pressed together. Kaname's movements were starting to become a little sloppy, as if he were struggling to stay with it.

Gently, Zero pulled back, cupping his lover's face between his hands. Kaname's eyes were glazed, but only with weariness, although he was trying to hide it. "Kaname?" he murmured questioningly, gaze flicking down and then back up without really intending to.

Kaname knew he was disappointing Zero and he dropped his head in embarrassment and shame. He probably would have felt it all much more acutely if the sedatives weren't making his mind foggy and slow. The dark head fell to rest penitently against Zero's collarbones, Kaname's breath brushing the open neck of his shirt. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "It's not you, It's me... I... I... don't know what's wrong with me," he admitted softly, the anguish in his voice very real as his fingers curled into Zero's shirt.

Zero wrapped his arms around the huddled form immediately, feeling like a petty heel for being upset earlier. How could he not have considered that maybe all the stress Kaname was under was making it difficult for him to relax and enjoy other things? True, it certainly never had before, but Kaname's shame was obvious and Zero could only imagine how horribly embarrassing it must be for his very sensual partner to have any kind of difficulty in this regard.

Kaname's distress instantly drew Zero into caretaker mode and he gently rubbed the pureblood's back and kissed his hair reassuringly. The young hunter stubbornly ignored the fact that his own body had had no problem at all responding to their contact and was currently attempting to clamor for his attention with every maddening, throbbing pulse of his heart. His jeans were uncomfortably tight, but Kaname was much more important.

The pureblood was deep in the grip of the sedatives by now and it was becoming difficult to keep his eyes open. At least his apprehension and unease had also mostly melted under the power of the drugs. He vaguely thought it was too bad he probably couldn't convince Zero to go ahead and take him now after all. There was no chance of him getting aroused, and a high probability he would fall asleep, but he was pretty relaxed and not terribly frightened anymore.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Zero tried to assure gently. "You're tired and stressed to hell. You just need to get some decent rest for a change. You're going to sleep tonight if I have to tie you to the bed, okay?" he said firmly.

The pureblood mustered enough strength to look up at Zero with a sleepy, but playful grin. "Really?"

Zero kissed his nose with a mock scowl. "Don't get your hopes up."

Kaname looked like he was going to drop off right there in Zero's arms again, so the hunter rose, fumbling a bit awkwardly as he pulled Kaname with him. He wrapped an arm around the pureblood's shoulders to help support and guide him. "Come on, let's get you to bed, you look completely beat."

Kaname was beyond doing anything but agreeing with Zero and doing as he was told. The stairs, however, proved to be daunting and Kaname decided to sit down on the bottom one and think about it for a little while... his head drooping to rest against the railing...

Zero chuckled and bent down, scooping the pureblood up into his arms. "Oookay, sleepy head, let's do it this way then..."

Kaname stirred, but did not protest, wrapping an arm contentedly around his lover's neck as Zero carried him up the stairs and to the bedroom.

The pureblood was already in his pajamas, so Zero just pulled back the covers and laid him down on the bed. "Kaname, did you take something?" he asked in quiet concern as he pulled the covers back over the pureblood and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. Kaname was crashing a little too fast and a little too hard for it to be entirely natural and he was worried.

Kaname nodded, blinking heavily to try and keep his eyes open. "Sedative," he murmured, gesturing vaguely towards the bathroom. "Wanted to relax... for you..." he murmured groggily, his eyes sliding shut. The meds made him more truthful than he might have wished were he in full charge of his faculties. "My control's not... good. I was afraid I might hurt you. You were angry with me and I... I wanted to stop being a jerk..."

Zero felt a painful lump in his throat as he bent and kissed Kaname's forehead. "You're not being a jerk, Kaname, and I'm not angry with you," he promised softly. Earlier in the night he might not have been able to say that honestly, but he definitely could now. He caressed Kaname's face. "And I know you would never hurt me," he whispered.

Unshed tears formed unexpectedly in Kaname's eyes. There was so much trust in Zero's face, so much trust he felt he didn't deserve. His eyes fluttered closed again. "I don't want to. Ever." The soft whisper was barely audible, but Zero heard it.

"I know, it's okay. Just rest, Kaname. I love you, just rest..." the hunter murmured reassurance and kissed Kaname's forehead again. The pureblood was already slipping away but he smiled faintly before his face relaxed in sleep.

Zero stayed by him a few minutes longer to make sure he was really resting before he crossed silently to the bathroom. He wanted to see what sedative Kaname had taken, just in case there was anything he needed to know about it.

He found the medicine bottle in the cabinet and read the label. It was actually a pretty potent poison, but it would have to be to work for even a little while on a pureblood vampire. Zero didn't particularly like the fact that his lover had dosed himself with poison, but it was a legitimate medicine for this kind of circumstance and he hoped it would give Kaname the rest he needed. He also saw the warning label and smiled ironically. Well... if Kaname had been taking these that might explain some things.

As he slid the bottle back, the hunter glimpsed Kaname's almost empty container of blood tablets. He knew it had been nearly full only yesterday. Had Kaname taken more than just sedatives when he was up here? Why?

I was afraid I might hurt you.

Zero glanced back towards the bedroom, that faint sense of unease coming back into the pit of his stomach again. Kaname... what's going on with you? And why can't I seem to help?

Zero was too worked up to go to bed right away. He didn't want to go to bed alone, but lying next to Kaname until he had cooled down would have been a unique form of torture. So he tiptoed back downstairs and curled up on the couch once more, going back to watching the game, although it held much less of his attention now.

About an hour later, he was starting to feel ready for bed himself when movement in the doorway made his head jerk up. He was surprised to see Kaname standing there. The pureblood looked asleep on his feet. His dark hair was mussed and his eyelids heavy. He was holding the comforter from his bed in one hand, and the way it trailed out behind him gave him a strange but uncanny resemblance to a sleepy five-year-old.

Zero's brows crinkled in concern. "Kaname, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I was alone," he mumbled groggily, as if that was a complete explanation. He was obviously still well entrenched in the grip of the sedative, although it must have dissipated enough by now to allow him to move on his own again. He was apparently still very out of it, however.

"I looked in your room but you weren't there. Don't get up... 's okay. Can I be here with you?" Kaname shuffled towards the couch, dropping down to lay on it with his head pillowed on Zero's thigh, the quilt partially pulled with him.

"Of course it's okay," Zero replied with a tender smile, even if it was slightly after the fact. Kaname murmured something unintelligible but very contented sounding as he snuggled his cheek comfortably against Zero's thigh, seeming to draw an inestimable amount of comfort from the contact.

Zero reached over and carefully pulled the quilt more fully over Kaname's body and then rested his hand on the side of Kaname's head, stroking his hair as the pureblood contentedly fell asleep again on his lap. Reaching for the remote, Zero turned the volume down low. The game was almost over, he'd go ahead and watch the end before carrying Kaname back up to bed again. His fingers stayed tangled in the dark hair. He couldn't help the sweet, warm tenseness in his chest. Whatever else was going on, it was at least quite clear that it was not effecting Kaname's desire to be with him.

Softly, he bent down and kissed his lover's sleeping brow. Kaname had always been there for him when he needed him, even flying halfway around the world just to give him blood. He wanted to do the same. He would do the same.

"Whatever it is you need, Kaname, whatever you're trying to do, I'll support you, I'll do my best to help make it happen, I promise," he murmured. I will protect you, no matter what it takes. The last was more of a feeling in his heart than an actual thought, but it was there inside him all the same, burning with absolute resolve.