I, for some reason, was in the mood to write a Fai-centric angsty drabble. I have read some in the past, and they unless written well they just don't work. I decided to try it for myself to bring some redemption to the idea. I hope I succeeded! Please tell me if you think it's okay.

Disclaimer: Tsubasa and all it's characters quite unfortunately do not belong to me. It belongs to the goddesses of manga, CLAMP.

One Brief Second

There could be doubt that Fai needed people. He needed people like he needed food and water. He needed them to live. When people were around him, he could be distracted from his worst enemy; his own mind. It was a dangerous place, if he spent too long there it was certain he would be lost forever. Fai needed people so he could smile and laugh, even if it was just an act. He hated being alone, because it forced him to occupy himself. If he didn’t stay busy his mind would wander into the past, a place he avoided like the plague and hadn’t visited for a very long time. For this reason it was extremely unfortunate for Fai the day Mokona went with Syaoran for his training with Kurogane.

Syaoran had asked Mokona to come along so after he had finished his training they could search for Sakura’s feather. Fai would have had no problem with helping as well, only Princess Sakura was fast asleep and someone had to stay behind to watch over her. That someone was quite obviously going to be Fai. Normally it wouldn’t have bothered the mage one bit to be left at home, but today he would be left home alone. There would be no Mokona around to keep him company. The very thought frightened him so much he voiced his concern in a mock-fashion.
“But I’ll be here all by myself! You wouldn’t do that to me now would you Kuro-myu?” Fai complained.
Kurogane was no fool; he could see the deeper meaning behind the wizard’s words.

Don’t leave me…I don’t want to be alone...

Fai shot him a glance, in that brief second Kurogane could see the blonde’s soul reaching out in desperation, pleading the ninja to rescue him. But Kurogane ignored it; he turned his back on Fai’s cry for help and marched out the door with Syaoran and Mokona in tow. It was expected, why should he give a damn about Fai anyway?

Three minutes. Three short minutes was all it took for Fai’s mind to begin taking over. He felt an unfamiliar aching in his chest, and he couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how hard he tried to distract himself by washing dishes, folding sheets and other extraneous things. It was no use; bit by bit pieces of the past came back to him. Painful images flashed before his eyes, memories he had buried resurfaced. Everything came crashing down on him like a thousand tonne weight. His face grew hot, his limbs weak and his sight blurred. With a thud Fai collapsed to the floor and let the tears flow down his face as he whimpered quietly to ensure Sakura did not wake. Fai watched his mask - his suit of armour - crack, fall to the ground and shatter into a million irretrievable pieces. There was no turning back now; he had crossed the point of no return. Fixing his carefully constructed façade was impossible.

Fai sobbed, he let his body break down like it had wanted to so many times before, but he had always denied it that satisfaction. More pictures, images, memories, pain and suffering, tears…they were flowing through his mind and taunting him.
“Fai!”
He cried… calling for the person he had blocked from his heart in fear of it breaking. The one who had left so long ago, left him alone and hollow.
“Fai! Fai! Fai!”

A faint creaking of bed springs brought Fai back from insanity. He knew it meant Sakura was awake. He knew he couldn’t let the princess see him in his current state. Fai wasn’t sure where he found the strength or power but somehow he managed to pick up one of the shards of his mask...and another…and another…he glued it back together piece by piece. By the time Sakura emerged into the kitchen Fai was beaming brightly, his usual self again, the only trace of his melt down ever occurring was the scar it left on his heart. Fai resisted the urge to run to the princess and hold her tight, refusing to ever let her go. He didn’t want her to think something was wrong; he didn’t want her to worry.

When the others arrived home late that night Fai greeted them warmly, smiling and laughing, fake as always. Again, he whined playfully about being deserted.
“Aww, it was so boring here by myself! I don’t ever want to have to stay home like that ever again, I’ll go crazy! It’s a good thing Princess Sakura woke up.”
Fai’s underlying meaning was less subtle, and as obvious as ever to Kurogane.

Fai shot him another pained glance. It was only for a brief second, but the ninja understood.

Don’t ever leave me alone again…please…I don’t want to be alone.

This time, he did not ignore the mage’s desperate cry. For some reason unknown to both men, Kurogane turned towards Fai and nodded. It was only for a brief second, but Fai also understood.

I promise…

…And suddenly, for another reason unknown to both men, things seemed alright.

Even if it was only for one brief second…