|The Muppet Show: On Ice
Author: Swimming Poole PM
When business begins to slow down for the Muppet Theater,Kermit and the gang decide to liven things up by taking the mayhem onto the rinks. This is a work in progress,chapter 2 coming soon. Enjoy chapter 1 in the meantime.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,610 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 04-27-12 - Published: 07-09-09 - id: 5205063
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"The Muppet Show: on Ice"
'Twas a slow time for business at the Muppet Theater. Aside from their usual antagonist audience of Statler & Waldorf, the Muppets hardly had an audience at all. The last show they did was performed in front of a completely empty house except for their infamous balcony! Kermit the Frog had had enough after that night, so one evening (it was a Tuesday evening, but that really doesn't matter), he called everyone for a meeting (it was an important meeting, which really DOES matter). This meeting was to see if anyone had any ideas, no matter how crazy or ambitious, on how to put on a fresh new show and sell more seats (even if the seats sold were to be eaten by hungry audience members with a taste for furniture).
Once everyone came, Kermit had them all seated in the house while he spoke with them onstage. "Hi ho everyone" he greeted them in his usual, adamant, host-like style. Immediately, Miss Piggy stood up and flirtingly blew him a kiss much to his chagrin. "Um, *gulp* yes, hello to you too, Piggy. Anyway, you all are probably wondering why I called you all here tonight. Well, as you may already know, our last few weeks's worth of shows hasn't really been selling well. I've called you here to see if any of you had any ideas." Kermit then embraced himself for any, if not all, of the shocking things he expected to hear from his madcap cast/crew.
Pepe the King Prawn was the first to speak. "How about a special "Ladies' Night", ok?" Everyone groaned in unison to the sexist little prawn's transparent attempt to fling himself out to the women, Piggy found it especially annoying. "Why do you even BOTHER, shrimp-face??" she growled, towering over him. Seeing that he was defeated by the much bigger pig, Pepe just sat back down, mumbling something in Spanish. "Ok" Kermit said nervously, "anyone else here have any ideas?" The Swedish Chef waved his spatula in the air. "Yes, Chef?" The Chef proceeded to babble in his usual incoherent Swedish(or at least Swedish-sounding) tongue something about a cook-off. "Hmm, interesting idea(*not to mention much more tastefull than Pepe's idea*), but still not what I think we're looking for. Nice try, though." The dejected Chef shrunk into his seat and pouted.
"How about hosting a dog show?" suggested Rowlf. "Nah! How about I write a whole musical stage show about the joys of gouda cheese?" Rizzo interjected. "BOXING MATCH!! BOXING MATCH!!" shouted Animal "We should host the first ever boomerang fish convetnion!" exclaimed Lew Zealand. "A fireworks show would be a BLAST!!" cackled Crazy Harry, who pushed down on his detonator and took out half a row with his explosion.
At this point, everyone was firing ideas from one direction to another, thus resulting in the usual mayhem infesting the Muppet Theater. "ENOUGH!!!!!!!" Kermit shouted at the top of his amphibean lungs. "If we want to get ANYWHERE with this, we should hear everyone's idea completely one at a time. Ok??" Everyone hushed down. "I have an idea, boss" Scooter said calmly. "Ok, Scooter" Kermit said, trying to ease his frazzled nerves. "What do you have in mind?" "How about we take the show and put it on ice?" Everyone just looked at the go-fer with disbelief. "No really, we rent out an entire skating rink and put on a show there!"
"Scooter" Kermit began, "as much as I like that idea, I don't think we can afford to do such a show." "Well, my uncle who owns the theater always liked watching ice skating and stuff like that…" The frog suddenly had to give in. If there was anything he had no choice but to surrender to, it would have to be whenever Scooter played the old "my uncle who owns the theater" card. "Sheesh" he sighed, "if that's what your stubborn, old uncle wants, that's what he gets."
Kermit then regained his stamina for the moment. "I guess it's official then, gang: 'The Muppet Show: on Ice' it is!"