|The Muppet Show: On Ice
Author: Swimming Poole PM
When business begins to slow down for the Muppet Theater,Kermit and the gang decide to liven things up by taking the mayhem onto the rinks. This is a work in progress,chapter 2 coming soon. Enjoy chapter 1 in the meantime.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,610 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 04-27-12 - Published: 07-09-09 - id: 5205063
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
One week after the meeting, rehearsals were immediately under way to bring The Muppet Show to the ice.
Scooter invited his twin sister, Skeeter, to be in charge of all the choreography in the show. Unfortunately, very few of the Muppets she was teaching had any experience skating on ice. "Alright, gang" she said. "I take it you all remember the moves I taught you last night? If not, they go like this…" She then demonstrated a triple spin in the air and followed with seven figure-eights.
Everyone was on the stage in roller skates to (futilely) simulate the ice skating experience. Only a trio of penguins picked up the choreography as needed while the other Muppets stumbled as one would simply expect them to; Scooter couldn't do a spin on the ice let alone the air, Pepe got dizzy after three figure-eights while Rizzo fainted after two, and Beauregard slipped and fell on top of the nauseous king prawn the moment he began skating.
"Scooper" moaned Pepe from under Bo, "jour sister is trying to kill us ok!" Scooter just sighed, "She always WAS the star athlete of the family…" "Whatever, now can somebody get dis lump off me?" "Oops, sorry" chuckled Bo as he lifted himself off the crushed prawn. "Eh, what are jou anyway?" Pepe questioned, "A sloths or someting ok?" "Uh… I'm a stagehand!" the dim-witted janitor/stagehand replied. Pepe shook his little head in exasperation. "Dios mio" he muttered, "and here we thought Gonco was de 'what-are-you' creature…"
Meanwhile, Kermit had troubles of his own. Not only did his performers fail miserably to skate, he couldn't find a special guest star that had ice skating skills, nor could he find an ice rink to rent. Sam the Eagle marched up to Kermit to complain. "Kermit, your producer skills have been responsible for some of the most repulsive crimes against cultural entertainment I have ever seen. But THIS has to be the ONE straw that breaks the camel's back!" Sopwith the Camel had happened to be passing by and gasped in disgust. "How DARE you make that remark in a presence of a camel!" he shouted as he charged towards the fussbudget bird, chasing him away. Suddenly, Gonzo came rushing to the troubled frog. "Hey Kermit! You have NO idea how excited I am that we're doing an ice show! This would be the perfect opportunity to show off my new trick where I enter the rink while bungee jumping with barbed wire!"
He thought nothing could get worse until Piggy stomped her foot in low patience. "Kermie…." She bellowed, immediately stealing Kermit's attention. "Um, eh, can I help you with anything, Piggy?" Kermit stammered. "As a matter of fact, you can. Since I'm going to be the STAR of this ice show, I'd BETTER have the perfect dance partner when I do my big number!" Kermit raised a hypothetical eyebrow, "You, the STAR?" Piggy instantly took offense and was about to karate chop him until a duo of voices came rushing towards them shouting "Froggie! Froggie! Froggie!"
It was Andy and Randy Pig, Piggy's nephews. "Boys, can't you see I'm talking to your aunt right now?" "We heard you were looking for an ice rink, so we got you one" said Andy. The two pigs then dropped a couple of small ice cubes near Kermit's flippers. "Uh, boys, what's this?" "Your ice rink for your show!" exclaimed Randy. "Will the two of you just get out of here?" Kermit yelled in frustration, shooing the dumb pigs off in his own frazzled manner.
"Not to worry Mr. Kermit" a voice rang up from behind the frog, Bunsen and Beaker were dragging out a large machine. "Muppet Labs' new Ice-Rink-O-Matic will solve our problem of a non-existent ice rink in no time flat!" Beaker added "Murr mo ma!"
Bunsen pulled a switch on the machine, and the machine started humming. There it began to secrete a liquid on the ground that, upon impact, froze instantly. Of course, the liquid's pouring rate was at a very high minimum as it flushed the entire stage, and everyone on it, in instant ice.
"Well" gulped Kermit, "I guess that solves ONE problem…" "And wait until you see my next invention for this ice spectacular!" Bunsen interjected. "It will be one of my best ones yet, mark my words, especially YOU, Beakie!" Beaker just stood still, withdrew his head in his collar, and crept along his superior.
Fozzie came running up from behind Kermit with some news, but seeing as the floor was covered in ice, he had no control and he and the frog went barreling to the wall.
"Oh Kermit, oh frog of my heart, I have GREAT news!"
What is it, bear on my ribcage?" groaned the aching frog.
"Scooter just got off the phone with Misty Yamagoofi, the world famous ice skater, and she agreed to do the ice show!" This was the best news he had heard yet. "Terrific" Kermit said. "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" Fozzie asked. "Yes" Kermit replied, "you can get off of me and fetch me an ice pack, I have a splitting headache."
"Perfect, I'll go get the Swedish Chef" Fozzie cried, "He's making sno-cones!"
The frog fainted.