TK: Back from the dead, indeed… Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking with this. I had some free time and was /shudder/ browsing FFN. I just couldn’t back down from a challenge! Damn. Forgive me for the severe hiatus on A Third Chance. I’ve got issues.

Alright, this is my entry for SpeedDemon315’s Naruto Challenge. Read her profile for details. I’m far too lazy to give enough of a description. I was reading her wonderful SasoSaku fanfic Bringing Back What’s Dead when I decided I’d take a gander at her profile. After indulging in the hilarious Friends quotes that brought back wonderful moments of nostalgia, I happened to see the words ‘Naruto’ and ‘Challenge’ put together and had to look.

Okay, seriously. She wanted a one-shot, which is like… hah. Child’s play. I couldn’t resist. Thus, I chose Pairing number 4, Phrase A, and a bit of a mix between Theme number 2 and 10, ones I hoped wouldn’t be the first choices for every other writer out there. After a few minutes of brainstorming (laying upside down, painting my nails purple, and singing Tainted Love), this is what surfaced from the depths of my imagination.

I’ll admit this one came from song lyrics, too, like my other one-shots. “I Get Off” by Halestorm was the lucky winner this time. I get off on you, getting off on me – it’s just so dirty; I love it. And come on… one look at Pein’s Deva form and you immediately think badass sex machine, am I right?

Now I’ll go back into my hole of non-writing. ‘Tis very dark… yeah.

No Such Thing

TsukiharaKitty

Dedicated to SpeedDemon315

(update Bringing Back What’s Dead or be tickled by Jiraiya-sama’s feather)

Just one look into his eyes and she knew he simply could not be trusted. Sure, his fascinatingly strange, rippled eyes of silver prompted a curious question. The mysterious barrage of piercings could possibly have each told a separate story. And maybe even a hidden past locked away behind that somber, serious look that could have triggered a tear or two from a distance.

But it went without question that this man oozed danger from every fiber of his being. His fiery orange hair seemed to go out in spikes of its own accord. The smallest gleam from his Akatsuki ring brought forth the ‘Zero’ character engraved upon it. It slowly brought her attention down to his perfectly painted nails and then slowly back up to his face.

Back up to the eyes that stared directly at her – or past her, she wasn’t sure. Either way, he knew she was there. Even she knew this, but she dared not move a muscle. Covered in the safety of the darkness of night, only the moonlight bounced off the ground and the still spring’s surface.

Haruno Sakura felt small and slightly childish as though caught red-handed and unable to even think of a lie. Her leg muscles cramped and ached from her position crouched down within the thorny bush. It scraped her fair skin, snagged her hair, and housed a spider or two, but she was too paralyzed to move. She’d rather chance the spider than chance the Akatsuki in front of her.

He turned his head as though she wasn’t there. Had he actually even seen her at all? Maybe he simply thought he had heard something.

The casual shrug of his shoulders as he slid out of his red cloud, black robe was an effortless, slow motion that revealed a sculpted back that even Michelangelo’s David would be envious of. His bent his arm back behind his head, reaching forward with his free hand to pop his shoulder. Turning the arm once as if to test it out, he seemed satisfied and did the same with his other. He cracked his neck a couple times before rubbing the back of it with seemingly tired hands.

Sakura slowly inhaled, trying not to make a sound, but finding that the arches and overall structure of his muscled body simply took her breath away. She watched him, safely hidden by the copse, as he slowly stepped towards the clear spring a few feet away. Her green eyes were glues to him like a fly entranced by a bug light.

It was when he began removing the rest of his clothing that she realized just what she was doing. Her hand covered her open mouth, the heat surrounding her face telling her that she was blushing a deep shade of red. Here she was, the top medic shinobi of Konohagakure, spying on a naked man like a horny schoolgirl. Not just any naked man, mind you – an Akatsuki. Judging by his appearance and carelessly discarded Rain headband, he was the infamous Leader she’d heard so much about.

Her chest heaved as she tried to breath silently, slowly. Each and every one of his movements were equally slow and agonizing as if deliberately drawn out. Even as he stepped into the cool water, deep enough to reach his lower back, Sakura’s eyes were unable to pull away.

She naturally reasoned with herself as to why she couldn’t look away. If she were to move and accidentally make a sound, he would surely kill her. That, of course, included any attempt made to run away. It was eerily quiet – with the exception of her racing heartbeats – and there was no way she could leave without him seeing her.

It was a good thing she didn’t carry a bullshit detector, or she’d be fucked.

The Akatsuki ducked his head under the water for a couple seconds before emerging a moment later. He ran his fingers through his now wet orange hair, getting rid of any excess water. It seemed to have no trouble returning to his messy, spiked style that it was before.

Sakura’s gaze traveled over his body as the soft water droplets slid down each and every muscle, each and every scar, and each and every piercing. She squeezed the fabric of her medic skirt between her fingers, fighting the urge to touch every single inch of him. The sheer power that emanated from his very presence alone was captivating.

Maybe she was just attracted to power. As a child, she thought Uchiha Sasuke was the most powerful thing alive and wanted him more than anything.

She couldn’t help but wonder if Sasuke would get more than he bargained for in a fight against Akatsuki’s Leader.

Gods, she was such a peeping tom! What would Naruto say? She’d never hear the end of it if he knew! She could already imagine his shocked face as it slowly turned into the cruelest of grins until finally, the blonde would erupt in laughter and call her some kind of pervert. Then there would be the endless taunting of his Sexy Jutsu.

Her eyes widened. Maybe it was worth letting it slip to Naruto if he was going to taunt her with transforming into the Leader’s naked body.

She shook her head once, closing her eyes tightly. What in the world was she thinking?

Sakura heard the sounds of something moving in the water and opened her eyes to look at him once again. He was such a mystery, such a drug that she had an inescapable addiction to. She watched as he turned to the side, closing his strange silver eyes and letting the water slowly flow around him.

She wanted to be in the water, too.

Badly.

Her legs shifted below her in both pain and pleasure. Sakura gnawed on her defenseless fingernails, wishing that she were instead gnawing on his tender skin. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead just from watching him bathe. Oh, if only he wasn’t the most dangerous man alive! If he couldn’t break her in half with the snap of his fingers, she’d lavish every piece of him.

She noticed, being able to see only a small part of his face, that his right cheekbone was slightly raised. Was he smiling? What could have provoked it?

Sakura immediately began to think that perhaps he knew she was there. If he did, why wasn’t he doing or saying anything? Was he just letting her watch him bathe, knowing he’d kill her later or the minute she made the smallest of sounds?

He ducked himself under the water once more, and Sakura let out a small, audible sigh. No. There was no way. He was off-guard; she was sure of it. He didn’t know she was there, because if he did, he would have killed her by now. He’s an Akatsuki. Plain and simple.

Right?

He rose up again and shook his head to remove the extra water. He took a deep breath of air, slowly exhaling. Sakura watched his body move with each and every breath, mesmerized by the sheer sight of him. A drop of sweat dripped down the side of her face from her forehead. She bit off the end of a fingernail.

The medic pressed her index finger to her lips, licking it as she watched him. He made her mind think such wretched, horrible things. He made her body want to scream.

And he wasn’t even saying a word.

Sakura closed her eyes and quietly wiped the sweat from her forehead. She was trying to be quiet; she truly was. The sight of him alone made her want to moan. Who the hell was this man?

She gazed on once more, watching as he began walking in her direction. Sakura’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth to silence her ragged breathing. She prayed he didn’t know she was there as she watched him slowly step out of the water, each and every step agonizingly precise. The world around him seemed nothing but a blur under the details of his body. Even as he clothed himself, Sakura wanted nothing more than to pull them back off.

For a split second as he buttoned his Akatsuki robe, she could have sworn he looked right at her. She swallowed hard, figuring she either imagined it or he was just looking in that direction… for no particular reason.

He walked towards her slowly again, his soft strides meaningful and exact like a measured, deliberate predator. Sakura closed her eyes tightly, her hand clamped over her mouth as she dared not move a muscle. She heard him walk up to the bush, and then it was quiet. It was that way for several seconds that seemed like minutes. Until finally, he left, walking right past her without stopping. Soon, she could no longer feel his presence anywhere near her.

Sakura put her hand over her chest in hopes of quelling her racing heart. She allowed herself to breath rapidly in order to catch up on lost oxygen. She closed her eyes and finally began to calm down. That was entirely too close.

The pink-haired medic stood up and brushed herself off. She was covered in cuts from the thorny bush, and her legs were so sore, she was certain she would have to rest soon.

It was then that she noticed a brown parcel on the ground. Her eyes widened when she realized she’d left her travel pack out before she sensed the oncoming ninja and hid inside the bush. She bent down to collect her back and saw a piece of paper sticking out of it. Confused, she reached inside and took it out, confused as to why her little satchel was feeling considerably lighter than it did before she hid beneath the bush.

The words on the note paper made her heart nearly stop altogether.

No such thing as a free show, princess.