Better With You
A Sarah/Indy fic by Saffiya Scarlett

A/N: This is for Lady Clarke-Weasley of Books, who made my day with her Ally's World fic, the other day.
Based on the song by Five Times August - lyrics © them. Text in italics is lyrics.

So maybe I've got a lot to learn
Or maybe I'm just hanging on my words
Or maybe its not a big concern
But if I raised my hand
Would I understand why Im better with you?

He begged her a hundred thousand times; told her he loved her everyday; kissed her forehead and told her that he didn't care what anyone else thought; but she wouldn't listen - she was going to university, and she had read all of those stories about what happened to the 'boyfriend-from-home' when you got there, and she had decided that that was that; it was over; they weren't ever meant to be - he was younger than her, and he was immature, and he was her best-friend's kid brother… and she deserved someone better than him in her life. At least… that was what she told herself.

And so Sarah Warbeck disappeared to Oxbridge, and stopped all contact with Indigo. He wrote to her, every week, without fail; he never lost hope. He had loved her forever and a day, and he wasn't going to give her up without a fight.

She, ignored his letters. She didn't read them. Not ever. She tried to convince herself that this was because she was over him, and because it was stupid to listen to her ex, but something, deep down within her knew the truth all along; she had made a mistake. The rumours about the boyfriend-from-home were only true to those who hadn't really ever loved him in the first place, the way that she had. She had been head-over-heels for him for as long as he had for her - she had played a merry game, making him work for her love, and he had won it. He had won it so long before he had ever known.

She couldn't avoid him forever, though; he was, after all, Saffy's sister. At Christmas, they were together once more; a family reunited. It sickened her to see Tom and Rose together, in each other's arms, the way that everyone had always known that they would be, and so in love, despite the age gap. It sickened her because she only had to glance across the sofa slightly to see Indigo, staring at the floor, and envisaging herself in his arms, where she knew that she belonged, was all too easy.

It hurt her.

And, still she ignored him.

She ignored his letters, too, although they kept coming.

They kept coming, more and more often, as the semesters wore on. By the end of her first year, she had a pile of sixty unopened envelopes on her desk in her dormitory that she couldn't bring herself to throw out. As it came to the time when she had to pack her things up to return home for the summer, she couldn't help but wonder what on Earth she should do with her mountain of envelopes… and what they said… there were far too many to open them all… and yet… and yet… and yet, she wanted to, so badly…

Dearest, Darling Sarah…

So maybe there's not a lot to say
Or maybe I'm wrong doing things my way
Or maybe things will be okay

… I don't know how I could have ever let this happen… I am so, so very sorry that I let you slip through my fingers like that, Sarah. I should have been braver. I should have stood up to you. I should have told you that you were making a mistake. You were making a mistake; don't deny it. You are hurting as much as I am - I just know it…

If I get it together
And do something clever
But make it better with you

… And I should have listened to Rose. Why is it that Rose always knows best?

So tell me where did I go wrong before you
Before you came along
Well, it seems like I was lost
You showed me how to do things right

… I suppose that, after eleven letters, I should really stop hoping that you're going to reply, and tell me that you love me, and that you always have. It's hopeless, isn't it? I might as well act as though nothing ever happened between us. Which will be bloody hard, Sarah. But I'll do it… I'll do it because I love you, and because I need you back… and because, maybe, just maybe, a fresh start is all we need…

So let me say it all again

… Nice weather, isn't it? I have thought that in November it would be far worse, but it's not. I hope you come home soon; Rose's latest epic art project is coming into shape, and you always know exactly what to say to her…

So maybe there's not a lot to do
Or maybe I'm just making myself confused
Or maybe I've got nothing to lose

… I hope Uni's going well for you - Saffy phones every week and she says that you're doing fine. I'm glad to hear it. She loves Oxford - I'd have thought that she'd have wanted somewhere with more of a party atmosphere, but you never can tell with Saff!

So use me, don't let me screw it up
I believe you and I need your touch
Just a little spice of you

… Rose and Tom are still going strong, you'll be glad to hear. Same as ever; head-over-heels for each other.

I believe you and I need you now
To make it better some how
You make it better some how

… OH MY GOD. I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANY MORE, SARAH. I CAN'T LIVE THIS PRETENSE. I CAN'T KEEP WRITING LETETRS WITH NEWS OF THE FAMILY… BECAUSE… BECAUSE…

So tell me where did I go wrong before you
Before you came along
Well, it seems like I was lost
You showed me how to do things right

… Sarah, I love you; I always have, and I always will. Please; if I ever meant anything to you… please, just reply. Just tell me that it was a mistake… that you miss me… that you need me back, the way I need you… Nothing is that same without you, Sarah. Love. Always. Eternally. Forever. Yours…

I believe you and I need you now
To make it better some how
You make it better some how

…"Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning, and all fear of an end"… and that is what I feel for you…

And she cried. She just cried her eyes out; her heart out; right there, on her cold, hard, dormitory bed. Saffy came in, and wrapped an arm around her, and asked her what was wrong: all she would say is "Indigo".

Read and review, please! :)