UPDATE NOTES

This is the page that can be checked back for any updates made to the novel. Right now, due to certain circumstances, I am going back through all the chapters to change certain things. I ask any frequent readers for their patience at this time. I hope to rewrite chapters 10-13 before I continue so that it is more consistent. Please continue to check back here for any updates and leave feedback on your thoughts. Thank you.

Also, as of the end of 2010, I will be travelling the world for a year and don't know how much writing I will be able to get done. I apologise in advance if I disappear off the face of the planet for a while.

NEW – 23/10/10

Chapter Eight

Elaborated on Cloud's thoughts in the cell, including a mention of his 'squats' technique

Emphasised Cloud's physical strength

Much longer conversation with Aerith in relation to AVALANCHE, Tseng and the Cetra

Changed the history of Aerith and Ifalna's escape slightly which is a slight reference to a scientist in CC

Greater descriptions of the surroundings

Changed conversation around dead guard slightly

Total revamp of the section where they leave the cell block

Changed handle of sword from red to black to tie in with Katana's weapon in BC

Slight changes to dialogue with Rufus and more emphasis on Cloud's abilities

Brief references to CC's info on Hardy Daytona included

Slight change in description to Sector4 downtown

Large changes made to highway chase sequences to include Shinra weapons and more action as well as include more background info

Changes made to discussion at end of chase

09/02/10

Chapter Seven

In accordance with CC, changed the name of the park to Green Park

Tifa elaborates on the Midgar highway system. References from CC and Case of Shinra

Particular directions given relative to Sectors 4, 5 and 0

Highway 23 mentioned, crossover of CC's Highway 45

Further descriptions of Sector0

Cloud and Barret discuss Shinra HQ in more detail, including references to Army and Barret's previous trip there

Slightly more character interaction regarding opposing views of assault on HQ

Updated description of 60th floor lobby and 61st floor canteen

God changed to Gods for purpose of religious cursing

References to BC ch22 when player Turk breaks into HQ and is attacked by HO512s

Chief Verdot's name slipped in during brief flashback

Listing of depts

Reeve discusses consequences of Sector7 incident in great detail

Updated description of Palmer and his department

Much more detailed description of science dept, again referencing HO512s

Lab renamed Storage Chamber as it is in CC

Monster Investigation Program referenced and monster of Hojo's lab described

Date included in Hojo's report as well as expanded description of Fusion Chamber

Cloud threatens Hojo more severely

Red XIII's introduction expanded

SOLDIERs use standard-issue Hardedge swords (actual ref to original game)

Cloud prepares to take on entire squadron. New paragraph of Cloud's fighting confidence and consideration of the others

Luxiere's new role gets a mention

Several other changes in words and brief descriptions

17/11/09

Chapter Six

More description/dialogue to amplify the desperate mood of the three and the people after the destruction of Sector7

Alternate description of play-park

Additional info regarding the reaction of the monsters and townspeople of Sector5 to the carnage

Additional description of Aerith's house

Much more of Elmyra's actions and dialogue with Barret

Cloud gives a reason why he's asking about the Ancients

Slightly bulked out scenes at train station to include train description, Train Graveyard usage and station master

Ref to White Materia exchange

Large section regarding Elmyra's reaction to her husband's death, the cause of death and how it affected she and Aerith's relationship

Mention of Tseng and Aerith's previous brief encounter at play-park as mentioned in Case of Shinra

Tseng's actions and feelings towards Aerith discussed a bit more

Barret's gratitude emphasised in new actions

20/10/09

Chapter Five

A big thank you to Kelsey for proofreading the additions to this and the previous chapters. Your help is always appreciated.

And while I'm here, an enormous thank you to Mel for her constant support over the last few years. I probably wouldn't have kept going without her.

Mentioned the weather, as is forecast by Shinra news on a Sector5 TV during the game. No details overlooked.

The term 'Director' in again as a title used by peers and subordinates alike for department heads

Various alterations to how someone said things, not just 'said'

More expressive words and dialogue to show Reeve's protestation and President Shinra's coldness towards the plan to destroy Sector7

Mentioned the President's wife

Bulked out description of sewers and anxious feelings of party

Described the models of trains in the Train Graveyard based on the dialogue in CC with the young boy at the station

Further dialogue between Tifa and Marlene to show Marlene's childlike fears and Tifa's maternal skills

Rearranged description of gunfight atop pillar

Brief expansion on Jessie's state

Additional line to show Jessie's remorse

Mentioned Biggs had also died by time the reached top

Enhanced Cloud's reactions to the helicopter assault

New description of Reno

ALL NEW FIGHT SCENE BETWEEN CLOUD AND RENO

New line from Tseng about AVALANCHE causing the tragedy

Other slight updates regarding words and descriptions

11/10/09

Chapter Four

Added markings into each of the previously updated chapters to show change of scene. Apparently doesn't identify breaks automatically

Some small additions to Cloud's actions as he sneaks downstairs

Aerith drinking coffee at dining table

Aerith takes a stern approach to his attitude

Cloud's feelings regarding possible encounter with Shinra weapons while unarmed

Second smaller market

Description of kanji-style Wusheng graffiti

Fuller description of the monsters and thieves present in Sector6 and about the hunts to exterminate monsters as discussed in Crisis Core

Aerith talks about park, again from CC

Cloud handed pharmacy coupon as a nod to the dress-up minigame

Don Corneo has a rug with the Crest of Wutai

Tifa's actions when seeing Cloud more of relief, culminating in her embracing him as well as his reaction

A further explanation of why the sector gateway was locked from one side

'Director' Heidegger used to coincide with terms of CC

23/09/09

Chapter Three

Church in outer district. Just a location point

Mentioned the religious symbol that appears on the wall of the church and also in the cathedral missions of Dirge of Cerberus Online

Note on Materia being difficult to come by outside the military. This is a plot point in the story which later affects chapter 18 and also Yuffie's quest

Added description of Reno's voice

Line of dialogue changed to say that Cloud has never een Reno before but recognises the uniform

A paragraph added about fighting boundfats. This is to show Cloud's strength and add to the Slums atmosphere

A couple of paragraph added about the location of the Slums with regards to the street and marketplace that appear in Crisis Core

Added dialogue from Elmyra regarding the terrorist attack on Reactor5. This is a reference to the news report on the TV in the village

Another piece from Elmyra discussing the testing of robot prototypes in the Slums by Shinra

22/09/09

Prologue

Named the main street in Sector8 'Theatre Avenue'. Crisis Core calls it LOVELESS Avenue but I think that doesn't really fit, so I changed it slightly.

The flowers Aerith carries changed from roses to tulips. Roses grow on bushes so tulips suit better

A reference to the flower cart from Crisis Core

Also named the square in Sector8 as Fountain Plaza. It fits and gives the location an actual title

Quotation marks inserted for all speech.

Chapter One

As shown in Crisis Core, the Buster sword is changed to Buster Sword

Sword sheath changed to magnetic holder as is standard for SOLDIERs

A slight addition in dialogue where Barret says that the more the Mako Reactors suck out the Mako the weaker the Planet gets

Mentioned the rifles of the soldiers were automatic

Slightly changed Cloud's actions while being shot at to indicate skill with a sword as he deflects the bullets

Changed 'soldiers' to infantrymen or privates to give more synonyms

A small addition to the layout of the Slums where they are separated into residential, industrial and market districts

Cloud says he RARELY saw the Slums as it ties in with his role as a Shinra soldier (see Before Crisis ep5)

Mentioned that the radio in Seventh Heaven is playing a song by an up-and-coming band called The Moogles. I'm going to refer to them every so often in the story. The reason for this is that the names of their songs will be some of those from the game soundtrack. The one playing in the bar is 'Parochial Town'.

The bar smells like gunpowder, as stated by an individual from the village

Additional dialogue for the President's news report. Mentions the existence of the security forces (police), that the city is under martial law, and also briefly mentions Mayor Domino

Additional dialogue between Cloud and Tifa mimicking Barret's 'Saviours of the planet' phrase and Tifa's feelings about the others possibly fighting SOLDIER

Chapter Two

A line added about a dog and a beggar in the streets

Slight changes to the wording used and actions of the Shinra manager on the train

The term Reactor1 used instead of Sector1 Reactor. This is to be in line with Reactor0 references in Dirge of Cerberus

Named the railways Midgar Transit

Train high security as stops at Sector0 (Shinra HQ)

Additional sentence to show Tifa's discontent at Barret's behaviour

Dialogue from Barret that shows Tifa and Cloud rarely spoke since she found him

Security forces patrol train tunnels

A lot of additional dialogue between Jessie and Barret regarding the fake ID she made for Cloud that didn't clear the checks

Small line added from Barret to say he still doesn't trust Cloud because of his background

President Shinra's description updated to include his elderly age

Cloud felt searing pain as the missile exploded