Title: iAm Not Fluffy

Rated T

Summary: Sam has a new pet. Freddie hates it. Seddie one-shot. For MissPopuri.

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.

A/N: A friend of mine from my old Government class actually owns a couple porcupine as pets, so a few facts from this one-shot came from her. Other facts were picked up from searching Google. I have a theory about Sam's mom. Yeah sure, we all know from the show that Sam's mom isn't the greatest mom ever but it does seem that Sam has an okay relationship with her mother. It was never stated in the show that Sam can't stand her mom or anything. So, while her mom may be careless and weird sometimes I'd like to think Ms. Puckett's initial intentions are good. That's how I figured Sam's mom out in this one-shot. This is my third iCarly one-shot. It's for my friend Kris from Dasey Nation. She won second place in my OTP Opposites contest and this is one of her prizes. Kris, I couldn't exactly find the review you were talking about but I came up with this idea in hopes you'd enjoy it anyway.

Dedication: For Kris! I hope you enjoy part one of your prize! Congrats on placing second in my contest!

“Next on iCarly, Sam has a surprise that even Freddie and I don't know about!” Carly Shay declared, earning a confused look from said Freddie. Freddie Benson tilted his camera curiously towards Sam Puckett, who was holding a shoe box. Sam had a very childlike grin on her face, the type of grin a kid would wear before opening presents on Christmas morning. This made Freddie even more curious as there were no presents for Sam to open within the iCarly studio so in retrospect there should be no reason for Sam to be grinning in such a way.

“Okay,” Sam began, cheerfully. “So, many of you iCarly viewers know that I have a rabid cat named Frothy. Well, the bad news is Frothy ran away.”

Carly's eyes grew round with honest shock. “Sam! You haven't told me that yet!”

“I haven't had the chance to tell you anything yet,” Sam said simply, her smile not faltering. Freddie raised an eyebrow but kept the camera on her. Carly's expression became confused. “Basically, my mom felt really guilty that she left the door to our apartment open. So, to make it up to me, she called some people and bought me this!”

Presenting the shoebox to iCarly's invisible audience, Sam lifted the lid.

“Isn't he awesome?” Sam asked happily as she revealed a tiny, sleeping porcupine. Freddie made a face as Sam shoved the open shoebox under his camera lens for a close up. When Sam pulled her new pet away, Carly squealed.

“Aw, he's so adorable!” She cried, peering into the shoebox.

“Yep! And that's not all. Fluffy is going to be iCarly's newest mascot!” Sam announced.

“Fluffy?” Freddie couldn't help but snort.

“You heard it here first, viewers!” Carly proclaimed with a grin. “Let's give a round of applause to our new mascot buddy: Fluffy the Porcupine!”

Sam beamed like a proud mother as she hit the applause button on her remote.

“Fluffy?” Freddie retorted again. Neither Carly nor Sam paid attention.

“That's all the time we have for iCarly today! I'm Carly!” Carly told the camera.

“And I'm Sam!” Sam grinned.

“We'll see you next time!” Carly and Sam shouted in unison as they both waved frantically until Freddie pushed the button on his laptop and turned off the camera.

“Fluffy?” He asked one more time.

“Wow, I can't believe your mom actually took the time out to buy you a porcupine,” Carly admitted, impressed. “I didn't even know they were sold as pets!”

“Me neither!” Sam smiled; she and Carly crowded around the shoebox as Freddie looked on in disbelief. “They're not sold in regular pet stores. Mom's ex-boyfriend is a Vet and he told her where to go because his friend his a breeder.”

“But why name him Fluffy!?”

“Don't you pay attention in English class, Freddork?” Sam snapped, making a face. “It's called irony.”

Before Freddie could respond, Carly intervened. “Knock it off you guys, you'll wake Fluffy.”

Freddie scowled as the two girls continued to coo over the small mammal. He couldn't understand why Carly was so fascinated by it. What's more, he couldn't understand why they hadn't called for a vote in deciding the need of a mascot for their web show. It was like his opinion on the iCarly team meant nothing!

Of course he paid attention in English. Heck, he paid attention a whole lot more than Sam ever did during school. Which was why half of him was disturbed that Sam knew what irony was while the other half of him wanted to complain that Sam, of all people, was lecturing him about irony.

“Did you know porcupines have 30,000 quills on their backs? They only prick if they feel threatened!” Sam informed them as she stroked Fluffy's back with a finger.

“Porcupines shouldn't even be sold as pets!” Freddie blurted out. His opinion caused both Carly and Sam to stare at him.

“Well, they should grow up in the wild,” He protested; he felt the heat of Sam's protective- mother glare upon him. “They're rodents. Not dogs or cats.”

“Um, plenty of people keep guinea pigs and rats as pets,” Sam defended, handing the shoebox to Carly so she could advance on Freddie. “What's wrong with keeping a porcupine as a pet?”

“Maybe Freddie has a point,” Carly tried reasoning. She set Fluffy down by her feat and turned to face her quarreling friends. “Did your mom do research about porcupines before buying him?”

“She told me that her ex-boyfriend said having a porcupine as a pet was rare, but manageable and legal,” Sam told her. “She was originally going to get another cat but she thought I'd like a porcupine more.”

“You don't know the first thing about taking care of a porcupine!” Freddie accused. “You'll probably starve him!”

“For your information,” Freddie actually took a step back in alarm as Sam's voice became harsh. “Fluffy loves to eat vegetables and fruits. He's fond of bread too.”

“Freddie!” Carly scolded. “What's your problem? So, Sam has a porcupine. I think Fluffy is adorable and would make an awesome iCarly mascot.”

“Yeah, well I think Fluffy is creepy and that we don't even need an iCarly mascot.” Freddie found himself saying. Carly looked stunned for a moment as she was so used to Freddie usually agreeing with her opinions. Sam, on the other hand, continued glaring daggers at the tech producer.

“I think you owe Fluffy an apology,” She threatened.

“An apology?” Freddie scoffed. “For what?”

“For being mean and jealous!”

“How can you think that I'd be jealous of that thing!?”

“Because Fluffy's cooler than you and you know it!”

“You guys!” Carly shouted, silencing her two best friends. “Stop arguing.” As always, she was going to have to be the voice of reason. “Look. Freddie, it's none of your business of how Sam takes care of her pets. And it's not like she's incapable of taking care of animals so I don't know why you're so concerned!”

“Ha!” Sam sang; Carly rounded on her almost immediately.

“Sam, Freddie doesn't owe you an apology because he was just stating his opinion. It's not like he asks for your apology every time you mess with him.” Freddie actually beamed when Sam's triumphant expression turned sour again.

“So, can't we just forget about arguing? We can go get a smoothie!” Carly tried, enthusiastically.

“Sorry Carly, but I'm not up for smoothies,” Sam huffed, going over and placing the hole-poked top over the shoebox while cradling it in her arms. “Fluffy and I are going home.”

“Aw, Sam!” Carly whined. “Don't be difficult!” Her whines had no effect for Sam was already out the door. Freddie frowned.

“Just let her go,” Freddie muttered, closing his laptop so they could leave the studio.

Carly said nothing as she shut the door behind them, getting the feeling that Freddie wasn't going to become buddies with Fluffy anytime soon.

“I hope Sam doesn't bring Fluffy to iCarly today,” Freddie said to no one in particular. He had gone over to Carly's apartment after school had let out. A week had passed since the last iCarly episode and Freddie and Sam hadn't exactly talked during school. They weren't avoiding each other, but they weren't about to go to great measures just to patch things up. Freddie could tell Carly was irritated as she kept trying to get things back to normal. Her attempts kept failing.

The iCarly star was currently handing him a drink; Carly pretended she hadn't heard Freddie's statement about Fluffy at all.

“Who's Fluffy?” Spencer Shay asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Sam's new pet and our new mascot,” Carly answered, almost automatically.

“Oh, right!” Spencer smacked his forehead. “I forgot,” He smiled warmly. “Fluffy's a cute little guy.”

“Not you too!” Freddie groaned. Carly gave him a look, clearly forcing herself to remain quiet. Spencer looked confused.

“Something wrong, Freddo?”

“Freddie just doesn't like Fluffy for some reason,” Carly explained with a sigh.

“That's okay though,” Freddie turned in surprise as Sam entered the Shay apartment, Fluffy's shoebox secure in her arms. She glared at Freddie. “Fluffy doesn't like Freddie either.”

“Can we just get iCarly over with for today?” Carly snapped, irritably. She threw her empty cup into the sink.

“Fine by me,” Sam shot Freddie a quick threatening glance. “Let's go, Fluffy.”

“I'll never understand why those two are so into that stupid porcupine!” Freddie declared. Spencer gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Maybe all you need to do is to just give Fluffy a chance,” Spencer suggested. He then smirked. “Fluffy,” Freddie gave Spencer an odd look as Carly's older brother dissolved into a fit of silent chuckles. “You see, it's funny because naming a porcupine Fluffy...”

“I know why it's funny!” Freddie snapped, unintentionally. Before he'd have to explain his angry outburst to Spencer, Freddie grumbled and left the kitchen.

Give Fluffy a chance!? That was the worst piece of advice that Spencer had ever given him! That stupid thing. He hated it. There was no debating his stubborn feelings on the matter so there was no way in hell Freddie was going to give it a chance.

Freddie found it rather annoying that Sam accused him of being jealous. He couldn't figure how anyone could say he was jealous of Fluffy. It wasn't like Freddie dreamed of one day becoming a prickly porcupine. Carly may have been taken by the animal's cuteness but that was just Carly. Carly usually thought most small animals were cute.

Sam knew that his heavy crush on Carly had all but fizzled into oblivion these days. Sam knew this because Freddie made a point in firmly explaining (quite often) that he was not infatuated with Carly Shay anymore. There was no more peeping through his peek-hole as he waited for Carly to get home from school. There were no more awkward pick up lines that made Carly cringe. Yes, he still found Carly extremely attractive but then again, so did most boys in their grade. Freddie figured worshiping the ground Carly walked on might catch her eye but at the same time it would also taint the profound friendship they already had.

Freddie had also made a point in saying that he hadn't completely given up. He may have stopped “obsessing” (as Sam always put it) but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to stop hoping that one day his chance with Carly would come. He would absolutely love to attain bragging rights that Carly Shay was his girlfriend.

Freddie had left his laptop up in the studio when he first entered the apartment. Setting up prior to a show was a habit he had obtained so once it was time to start iCarly all that there would be left to do is to cue the two stars and turn on the actual camera. Freddie expected Carly and Sam to be warming up for whatever bit they'd be starting off with. What he didn't expect was to find Sam messing with his laptop...without his permission.

“Hey, who said you could touch that?” Freddie demanded as he entered the studio. Carly looked up from watching over Sam's shoulder as she ignored him, giving Freddie a sheepish smile.

“We figured you wouldn't mind?” She tried.

“Well, I do mind.” Freddie declared.

“Guess what?” Sam said in a bored tone without glancing up at him. “No one cares if you mind or not.”

Before Freddie could even reply, he caught Carly's glance: It's no use. Just drop it.

“Sam's reading the fan mail viewers have been sending in for Fluffy,” Carly explained, tentatively. Freddie wasn't sure if he heard right.

“That thing is getting fan mail?”

“Fluffy is not a thing,” Sam snapped. “And yeah, it's really cool. Carly set it up the other day. The viewers really love Fluffy as our new mascot. Listen to this: Fluffy is so cute! I wish he was the mascot at our school!”

“Oh, give me a break.” Freddie snorted, setting up the camera.

Sam didn't answer him or retort back. Instead, she was too busy staring blankly at a new email she just opened. Carly glanced over at her best friend.

“Anything wrong?” A second later, Sam burst into peels of laughter.

“She's finally lost it.” Freddie muttered to himself as Carly watched on in bewilderment.

“Carly, come here. You're going to get a kick out of this!” Sam promised, between laughs. Carly bent down to read the email over her co-host's shoulder:

“I'm a loyal viewer of iCarly and I can't help but notice: Sam and Freddie's relationship can pretty much be described by comparing them to your new mascot Fluffy! Call me crazy, but every time Sam and Freddie argue on iCarly I find it unbelievably cute! I think they'd make a cute couple! The reasons why I compare Sam and Freddie to Fluffy the Porcupine are as followed. Just like a porcupine, while Sam and Freddie may appear to be prickly and feisty on the outside, but at the same time they're sweet and genuine on the inside! I think it's so neat that Fluffy basically represents not only iCarly but Seddie as well! I hope you keep the little guy as your mascot!”

“What!?” Freddie's expression became horrified.

Carly burst out laughing. “Seddie!?” She asked Sam.

Sam made a face. “I guess it's like a couple name. Like Brangelina or Dasey. Kinda disturbing but really hilarious.”

“Um, explain to me how that's hilarious? Because I just find it disturbing,” Freddie retorted, cringing at the idea of Seddie.

“Who sent that anyway?” Carly asked before Sam could retort back. Sam peered at the email once again.

“I don't know...it's an anonymous fan.”

“Or an insane fan.” Freddie muttered.

“Well, you've got to admit,” Carly began. “Whoever sent this really has a cool metaphor. I'd never think of using Fluffy as a way to describe some couple.”

Sam just shrugged. She could feel the awkward tension radiating off of Freddie and knew he was thinking about a memory only they shared. The first kiss. .

Sam wasn't going to lie to herself. The thought of her and Freddie as a couple really had crossed her mind...once. Or twice. Though she knew that if the two ever paused from making each others lives miserable they'd have time to ponder the possibility of Seddie (How did someone come up with that name anyway!?).

Freddie felt sick. Not only did his hatred of that thing just increase, but the idea of Sam as his girlfriend made him...oddly happy. A twisted kind of happy. Maybe it was just because he was a guy and it had been a while since he dated a girl. Maybe he was desperate. Only, Freddie never thought of Sam as his girlfriend before...much. It was true that after the first kiss, the thought did cross his mind...but that was normal. Right? Except the friendship Sam and Freddie sort of shared wasn't exactly what one would often consider normal.

“Anyway, we've got to start iCarly,” Carly announced. Sam handed Freddie the laptop, as she and Carly got in position. Freddie, still preoccupied with his own thoughts, adjusted the camera.

“And we're live in: Five...four...three...two...”

“GOOD MORNING!” Both Carly and Sam shouted in unison.

“Hi! Welcome to iCarly! I'm Carly!”

“So that must make me Sam!” Sam informed. “And as you guys all know, this is Fluffy! Our new mascot!”

Freddie rolled his eyes as Sam pressed the applause button on her remote.

“As you all know, Carly's started a fan mail page for Fluffy,” Sam continued. “We're glad to have him on the iCarly team!”

The show went on with a familiar ease. Carly and Sam shared new and improved bits with their viewers as well as having a few “Random Dancing” moments for the heck of it. Fluffy remained in his shoebox which Sam had propped up on the “Seat of Sitting”. Freddie made sure to exclude as many shots of the porcupine as possible.

“And that's our show!” Carly exclaimed while Sam pressed the applause button on her remote. “We'll catch you next time here on iCarly!”

“And we're out.”

“Hey Freddork, hand over your laptop.” Sam demanded. Freddie scowled at her.

“What for?” He asked, bitterly.

“I want to reply to that 'Seddie' fan to tell them how insane I think they really are.” Sam didn't notice Carly's faint wince. To her surprise, Freddie nodded.

“Good idea,” He opened up the email again while Sam joined him over at the computer. “Even though the sender hid their email, I can probably trace it through the website.”

“Oh, leave the fan alone,” Carly protested. “Isn't everyone entitled to their own opinion?”

Sam and Freddie ignored her. “Okay, fine.” Carly muttered, making her exit. “I'm going downstairs.”

“Seriously, how can anyone find our arguing cute?” Sam fake gagged as Freddie did his thing. “This is just too creepy.”

“They wouldn't have sent that stupid email in the first place if it wasn't for Fluffy,” Freddie retorted. Sam frowned.

“Fluffy has nothing to do with the insanity of that person!” Sam defended. “Quit hating him.”

“Why should I?” Freddie demanded, turning away from the computer so he could face her.

“You know you like him deep down,” Sam said. “Everyone likes Fluffy.”

“I guess I'm not everyone then.”

“You're such an idiot!”

“If I'm such an idiot,” Freddie started angrily. “Why did you decide to kiss me in the first place?”

The question escaped before he could stop it. Though it was random, it hung in the air by persistence...Freddie meant for it to be answered.

The laptop became forgotten and Sam's glare remained firm. There was a pregnant pause in the studio before Sam picked her response.

“I didn't decide to kiss you,” She said slowly. “We decided to kiss each other.”

As if to make the tension between them worse, Fluffy could be heard scurrying within his shoebox. Sam didn't even risk a glance over towards her precious pet; her eyes were glued to Freddie's...prodding him to close the conversation so she wouldn't have to be the one to do so herself.

They swore they would never kiss again. They swore they would go right back to hating each other after it was over. They swore they would never tell anyone; it was a secret meant for them and only them.

Freddie knew what Sam was silently urging him to do. She was urging him to retort some unofficial remark that would close the topic once and for all. As they gazed at each other silently, Freddie knew impulse would not allow him to come up with such a remark.

This time, he leaned in without her telling him to. This time, she didn't expect his lips to brush over her own. The kiss this time was familiar instead of awkward and while Sam wasn't planning on sharing another kiss with her best friend she wasn't objecting as the kiss continued.

Honestly, he had been wanting to kiss Sam Puckett again all along. He needed to make sure that the first kiss they first shared held no honest feelings...that it was simply just a test. Deep down he knew as he kissed the girl who attempted to make him miserable on a daily basis, that the subtle attraction was now prominent and no longer deniable.

Freddie Benson was starting to develop feelings for his best friend. This time, these feelings were not meant for Carly Shay.

Downstairs, Carly wondered if she had allotted enough time for her two best friends. She smirked as Spencer tried to comprehend her devious scheme.

“So, you were the one who sent the email?”

“For the last time, yes!”

“Then that means...” Spencer's face was twisted in confusion. “You're the Seddie fan?”

Carly laughed. “Guilty.”

“But then why...?”

“Let's just say that I did Sam and Freddie a favor,” Carly smiled, silently thanking Sam's Fluffy for creating the opportunity that she had been waiting to grab for a while. Even though she had no idea what was going on upstairs, Carly knew she didn't cause anything disastrous for chaos would have broken out by now. At least her “insane” email had given her two best friends an excuse to finally talk about the feelings Carly knew each harbored for the other.

Seddie. Carly smirked, pleased with herself. It was such a great couple name. It rolled off the tongue so easily and naturally like Brangelina or Dasey and Carly felt that if Fluffy had the ability to speak his own opinion, Sam's pet would have indeed agreed.

-Fin-

A/N: I started writing this before I saw iTwins so that's why I didn't mention Melanie and Freddie's kiss at all during this one shot. I hope that clears up some confusion. The ending was tricky for me to finish for some strange reason so I also hope that it doesn't seem rushed or anything! I also feel I wrote one of the characters OOC but I can't be sure which one. Oh well. I always love thinking that Carly Shay is the original Seddie shipper...haha! Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed this especially, Kris! Until next time!

“Never let go of the one you truly love.”

-December'sRose