You never know how quickly things can change. They change all the time after all, day after the day, minute after another. Nothing stops in one monotonic pace and leave you catching up with the life. You can't stop the time either.

It was funny now remembering this exact time last year, all the promotions, when the crazy rollercoaster of life began. She no longer was Kristen, she was the Kristen Stewart, Bella. Then there's some wishful thinking she could go back there, change things, just overall, erase this whole year. It sounded really harsh, not only in her mind, but insides churned up as well, think this way – she was with Michael that time, this whole year was Robert. Would she ever change this as well? Would she go back?

Maybe.

She felt bad immediately again.

"Hey" she closed the doors behind her entering the slightly lit up room. It was all kinds of gorgeous, she could notice. While her mind was far away, far enough to be completely distract she couldn't ignore the candles.

"Candles" she spoke out loud.

"Hey babe" Rob walked in the room with a huge smile on his face. She felt like swallowing hard. "We're celebrating today" he explained.

"What" she tried to sound interested but failed miserably. How could she if all her mind could think was how she was going to tell him this.

"Wrapping up. We have just finished filming which means we have a fuckin month to us, finally. It has been forever!"

Oh yeah, she had to do that scene in the tent today, overhelming… And done. She hasn't even realised.

"Right" she squeezed a smile back, but he wasn't fooled, soon enough she felt his overconcerned hands around her.

"Kris, I swear you're so distant lately, I'm worried"

"Just tired, honestly" and for a moment she allowed herself to wrap her hands around him, and pretend it was okay. She was his, and he was hers, and they were together, just two of them, how it was meant to be, how that first day when she finally stopped fighting the urge to kiss him, and she went with her gut. She had never regretted, she swore as long as she would be alive, never look back at that, it filled her crazy way, like never has had. Except now.

"Take that" he extended her a can of beer as soon as they broke the hug. She took the can staring empty at it without even touching the metal top.

"Kris?"

She put it down, slowly, dazed out. He repeated her name only now capturing her attention, she looked up at him.

"You want something else?" he tried. She shook her head.

"We need to talk" there. She finally said it. Now there was no turning back.

He stared at her concerned, maybe feeling something, she wasn't quite sure, his eyes sometimes were a mystery to her. His gorgeous eyes.

And just then he surprised her, without answering a single thing back, he placed the can down and walked out of the room. She got up on her feet and followed few minutes after, trying to control the horrible jello thing that was barely holding her feet up.

She found him facing the window, window that let them see the beautiful amazing city in front, which she forgot now a name of, so beautiful and distant, so far away from them, this hotel, was just a hotel after all. It wasn't home. And he, wasn't her home either anymore.

"Rob" she spoke in a soft whisper, her voice touching his back but not his face, maybe this way it was better, it hurts less.

"I don't like this" he finally spoke. "It's always traveling, being so far away, it's like losing yourself"

"Rob" she repeated stronger. He turned to face her.

"But you have always been this familiar thing to me, only thing, that always keeps me on the ground, brings me back to reality, only existent thing on the planet, that I could be in any place of the world, and still feel the same. Home. In love."

Kristen felt a lump in her throat. She looked down, but just for a second, just catch that thought racing through her mind until she looked back at him with her watery eyes.

"I love you, you know. With all my heart" she said.

His face softened as he smiled, he couldn't help. It could be hundred of years hearing this every day and he would still feel this rare emotion in his chest, just like the first time. Most enchanting melody to his ears.

"I know" he affirmed. "And I do know, that bad news are always followed by good news, so you should get onto that part now"

She nodded and then she felt incapable to proceed. "I don't know what to say" she admitted sincerely. "There were so much things I had prepared in my mind to say it, to talk it out, like you deserve to hear, to explain, and nothing seems valid anymore" she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I…don't know" she always stuttered when she was nervous, eating the words.
"Then tell me why" he replied calmly.

He was taller than her, that was not only the fact, but she was looking up at him, with his barely lit up face, with the city behind his back, and this moment he seemed small, his shoulders slumped and his posture hopeless, and it hurt her. All she wanted was to tell him, everything was going to be fine, tomorrow they'll take a private jet to Bahamas, and it's gonna be amazing. However she didn't know what to say, even less so, what to do, so she just wrapped her hands in a hug once again, because she needed it, as much as he did.

"I…can't." she finally released from him, it was not clear, whether she couldn't no longer stay like this, prolong this torturing departure, or she honestly couldn't explain the reasoning of it. Either way, it meant to be the end.

"I probably should go"

"Just like that?" he spoke out loud and it scared her now, she couldn't figure out the exact mix that filled his voice, his emotions, what he felt, was it hatred? Anger? Blaming? Confusement? Hope?

"Can't you just explain anything at all?" Hatred. "What's wrong Kristen?" Confusement. "aren't we worth to talk things out, at least, for all that we shared? Don't you think?" Blaming. "I swear to God" he took her face between his hands. "We can sort it out, whatever it is, baby" Hope.

"No." she raised her voice pulling his hands away. "Stop it, no."

He stared at her completely lost…and hurt. Without anymore words to offer.

"Just…please. Don't make this more difficult than it is. That's it" she stared at him back, there had to be a way to say this for once and all, clearly, not only for him, but for herself as well. It just wasn't meant to be.

"It's just not meant to be, Rob. I'm sorry. It's not working out." She scratched the words against her already wounded soul, so clearly, she was sure she was killing him. Well she was dead already, he might join her.

"You're young Rob, have fun with it. Find girls, see girls, enjoy every second of it, you have so much ahead of you" she spoke surprising herself without a tremble to this. And squeezed a light smile. "You deserve it more than anyone, lucky will be the girl you'll settle with one day. We were good while we lasted and I'm sure it's gonna be a good memory, at least I hope so, for both of us. I'm truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you. If I could skip that part, I would, trust me! I would erase every single day of the past year, it would be just like, it never happened."

There. She said it.

a/n I know it's really puzzling at the moment, but the next chapter will make you understand everything I promise. Also I apologise for all the errors and invented words lol. I don't have a beta. And thank you for reading :)