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A word from the writer . . .

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Guess what?

It CONTINUES.

Yes, yes it does you adorable little readers!

Now, enjoy your cookies, drugged up deliciousness as I continue to type and type and type-ity type type!

Another note:

Apologies for not updating for the past couple of... months. Serious stuff happened and I transferred to an entirely new school. In an art school in the department of Illustration, and enjoying it as much as writing, even more. So my creativity's totally been fuelled into an entirely different medium of expression.

But that means nothing now. I'm back baby~

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Disclaimer: I own not Final Fantasy 9.

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When the Unwanted Dream Comes True

The Uncommon Tales of a Modern Student

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Preparations, Step Three.

Turned Eggs and Dry Crust.

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Weakness. We all have one. Or two, three, four... maybe even more than we can count on both fingers and toes. We all have flaws, possessing them like traits. They are the weaker hand, the diamonds and clubs hidden behind bold spades and hearts, things we try to hide. Most of us can, but for those whose weaknesses are physically there... well, the world is only harder for them. But that's a bloody assumption I made so easily. A mere observer who pitied them.

Soon, I would possess the physical weaknesses that I thought myself impossible to have. Things I refused to have in me. But it is impossible, improbable, illogical to deny it.

Human stubbornness knows no bounds... but when reality hits you, you pick up the pieces and endure the ride. And only hope that you become stronger from the experience.

This is going to be one hell of an experience.

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This is supposed to be a dream... right?

Why did I feel so damn weird? Or rather, why wasn't I waking up yet? Based on the logic of dreams, you were catapulted out of them by the following:

1 being the bladder saying "TIEM TO PEE!!!!"

2 being the oddest occurrence, where something in the dream so drastic happened, that the reality bender jumpstarts your brain back into gear.

And 3 being the brain finally saying "It's TIME to wake up."

Apparently, none of those things applied. Or rather, the logic of waking from bizarreness was not reliable. However, my mind's not the best, and I can be stupid. Extremely stupid, like a goof. But let's get back to the things at hand. I was supposed to be in a dream, or rather, waking from one. Instead... I found myself in another dream.

I was in a city. The buildings were black, the streets strangely white. There was a glow from everything: the windows, the streetlights, even the manholes that looked unusually clean. Resonating echoes of a faint set of waves could be heard behind. Yet, if I was to look back, there would be nothing.

And also, everything was upside down for me.

I floated in what looked to be the sky, the clouds beneath my feet serving as misted platforms. Above me was the landscape, the city stretched out as far as my eyes could see. Even beyond the horizon, in every direction around me. The only oddity for me (other than my world being on the wrong side), was how the colors weren't normal. Red skies, and black clouds.

"Please don't tell me that Itachi's behind me..." I uttered beneath a groan. Even my voice possessed an echo, and I felt empty, metaphorically speaking. Right now, I just hoped that whatever was going on, it wasn't going to involve a great deal of pain. Or worse... a great deal of stupidity. It could be the blood rushing to my head, but gravity felt right here. So where was I?

"A dream."

The clash of a thousand needles rang through the air, and I felt myself step back. Something warm began to appear before me, materializing. Almost... science-y. And I can't believe I lacked the creativity to even describe what was happening. But I'll try.

There was a spectrum of light, columns of sound, moving faster and faster that blinking hindered what materialized. Before me was a cocoon of light, dulling with each rapid second, and then it unraveled. Wrappings that broke with awkward fragility, the echoes of shattered glass crashing around me. Disappearing, something appeared from the middle of it all: a single man.

He stood tall, naturally upright, but not at all stiff. Almond-shaped eyes were opened as slits, revealing eyes of gray. Hair of glistening white flowed down from the top of his head, flaring around him like lively tendrils His skin was an artificial dark gray, spotless and lacking of blemish or damage. Pristine... or perhaps a perfectly constructed individual, I was speechless as I continued drinking... I mean take in his appearance. As I licked up excess drool that happened to slip from the crack of my gaping mouth, he floated towards me. Like a specter he seemed to bob slowly up and down in the air while I stood solidly still, unable to move from the invisible platform beneath my feet.

Cold fingertips grazed against my skin, prickling from his touch, while the rest of me turned cold. Strange sensations rocked from my toes, spreading and filling upward till my very head was filled to the top. Fuzziness soon made my vision awkward, as in I couldn't believe how much blush was incorporated into the fantasy before me. And please, it's not the kind of fantasy I want. The kind I want involves swimming in lots of clear water, and talking marine life. And a friendly shark who lends me his fin to travel the seven seas.

Yes, and I eat PB and J while I'm in the water.

"Brought here, a task..." his finger stopped at the tip of my nose, but my eyes didn't cross just to look at it. I was instead keeping my eyes on him, and felt his vision lock with mines. His voice was a monotone, dreary and empty, yet, held a depth that kept you latched on. It made me want to remember what he said. And my gut told me to as lips parted, speaking once more. "A journey, a time of flight, you walk on a path unwoven here... given a chance that no one has..."

My eyes narrowed, suspicious of the acceptance my body tried to fool me with. My voice came out, a steeled tone upon it, "And what's that chance?"

A smile on dark gray lips. "To live the wanted dream, and to not have the Fates binding upon you... no destiny to be constricted to."

"Will I also be capable of having a pair of wings? Or maybe be able to walk through walls and have boiled eggs talking to me," My right hand whipped out, hitting his hand away from my face, and I distanced myself from him. Hostile, or at least defensive. "Let me awake from this dream. I need to return to my normal life pronto. I have exams coming up."

He floated there, a mystified expression on his face, eyes twinkling with a light I could not recognize. And then, he laughed, full-heartily and filled with life. It was nothing like that mysterious drone he had when he spoke, which was still present. "So be it. Awaken, and let your eyes open to the real world."

He clapped his hands, and everything around me crashed, and what supported me shattered, gone. But before I fell through, I would remember the sight of his snarky smile, one that did not fit whatever prejudices I had prior. One thing was for sure: he was definitely one weirdo manifestation of the mind. And so the crescendo of shattered glass possessed my senses, and a searing light erupted.

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Groggy, heavy, my mind was buzzing. A strange sound could be heard in the recesses of my mind. Empty corridors echoed a soft hiss, one that filled my ears and boggled my brain. It caused me to open my eyes, only to find myself staring up at a party of faces, the unfortunately bright light causing my eyes to light 'afire. Pain pounded in my mind's backdoor, concussions of throbbing annoyingly jolting.

"DAMN!!" I hissed out, clenching my eyes shut and clamping my hands over them. Even my eyelids did nothing to weaken the powerful brightness above, and caused me to see hippie-leveled flashes and light shows with the lack of drugs. And it made me feel sick, my empty stomach pumping out nothing, not even bile. My eyes however began to tear, and I felt the waterworks make their course down my cheeks. It did help with the stinging, but no dice. It was still being a bitch.

I felt blind. Like a mole. In the sun. Curled up and ready to die as its eyeballs sizzled and fried. Oh yeah, it felt bad, and I felt about for my goggles like a blind babe. Turned out they were on my head, and just resting in my locks of hair. Slipping them down, I secured it in place, and with a sense of late reckoning, finally opened my eyes after a good minute. Things were still hidden behind patches of black, my pupils still attempting to not twist into tiny dots and making me permanently useless. In the meantime, my momentary blindness did make me realize something: there was something weird over both of my ears. But for now, get my sight back, get my sight back!

I felt a pair of hands grasp my shoulders, pulling me up, supported. Those hands were warming, and made pleasant waves run through my body. I felt secure where I was, despite not knowing who it was, or what was going on.

"Come on guys," I heard Clarrak say from behind, and identified my supporter as him, "give Sane some room. You all know the conditions: not too close and not too loud, and no bright lights in the eyes. Sane's sensitive in those areas."

I was still trying to recover from the funky lights that now dimmed beneath my eyelids. And the dull pain pounding in my eardrums. However, both of those were not bad enough to cause me to want to curl up and die. If that was my worse-case scenario, I'd be laughing somehow, despite the pain and apparent agony one felt from those combined pain factors. So while I re-acquired a bearing of my surroundings, Clarrak's own words had clicked. Something in my head. My hands went to feel the fixtures that were my goggles, as well as what was covering my ears. Cups, cushioned material that wrapped around the whole of my ears, extremely comfortable. I immediately thought headphones... and knew that it probably wasn't the case. It couldn't be. It was stupid. It was a stereotype, a possible irony of the times. Or, they were just there to muffle out the excess noise.

"Hey Sane, you alright?"

I turned towards Clarrak to find his face full of concern. I nodded lightly, pushing myself up from the floor. Cracking my neck (and feeling good after doing so), I looked around at the company that... I apparently kept.

Clarrak and Shena were normal enough, clearly imprinted in my mind. But the others... did I need to speak of the details? Or shall I just sum it all up in one go? I'll be a lazy American and do just the latter.

While I stood in a tightly-crowded room possessing an ancient map on the right wall, I was on what looked to be a platform, a mini-stage meant for 10 at the most. All who weren't on the stage were before me, the whites of their eyes so many that this room felt lit up by those alone. But we had what looked to be a glass roof overhead, so it made for a rather lit area. And so their facial features were made known to me, and I would have gaped if impolite. For I was in a troupe of freaks.

And from what I can tell from my own appearance, I was one of them.

I crossed my arms, looked at each face, may they be thin or thick, doll-faced or grunged, or just, plain awkward, I made sure to remember them all. Names arose in my mind, a constant reminder that my mind held information I knew nothing about, but disregarded for the time.

I took a step forward, silently approaching them. My hands were behind my back, and I kept myself calmly together. Perfectly masking whatever insecurities I was feeling right now, at this very minute, my questions squashed by whatever presence I now had in possession. Words flowed out easily, and made for easy utterance. I allowed it to happen. "I am... well. What recently happened made for a surprise. A few bruises and such, but we came out unscathed, right?"

"RIGHT!"

I almost jumped back at the yell made in unison, or rather, the cheer. Blinking behind my goggles, I coughed once more, recollecting my composure. I only allowed the words to flow out, not knowing at all what I was talking about. But my voice was powerful, held a strange authority, as if I was standing above all others in this room in spite of my height. That I was in the spotlight, and had everyone's attention, and did not want to waste it.

"We're back on track and soon we'll arrive at our destination. It won't be long till we touch down at the dock and make way for our clients. So keep yourselves prepared for what's to come! They want entertainment, and will get it. Or am I wrong to think that we're the bloodiest best performing circus in the land?!"

"YEAH!!"

I pumped a hand up into the air, my face as featureless as stone. Silence around me. Something I have never had in my life. It was as thick as butter, my complete control over their reactions almost stifling to me. But I kept going, my mouth opening, my voice came out low, and soft. "Who... are we?"

Behind me, Clarrak stepped forward, a wide smile on his bright face, his hand in the air. "Le Cirque du Ciel!"

"CIRQUE DU CIEL!!"

"That's right... we're going to Alexandria to give that fat Queen the best show of her life! Tantalus may have an orchestra, but they don't got the freaks of nature we are!"

Awkward silence... accompanied by a lone cricket.

I did not expect that.

"Uh... that was a compliment."

"...YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!!!"

Dear god, that did more than rile them up. All hell broke loose. While I felt that I should be blamed for whatever occurrences shall happen in those walls, I did not in fact say those words. Or rather, did not intend to... I think. Gah, this is confusing. As if I had a script in my head and I automatically mouthed it off for everyone to hear. For it was more than enough to make a still crowd erupt with energy.

Luckily I escaped before I was pulled in, the rambunctious bunch suddenly bouncing off the walls and causing great wreckage in the room I whence left. I found no Clarrak or Shena around, meaning I had slipped out successfully. Down the corridor I walked, brisk strides leading me towards the door with the porthole view. Pushing through, I burst into the extremities of the sun, but gladly well armed and prepared. My goggles did more than enough to grant me sight, as for my ears... I'd look into that later. My mind was now burning in what I saw before me, or rather, around me.

Slowly I walked down the front of the deck, and stopped before the end. My hands pressed lightly against the wooden rail, barely leaning forward to look before... and below.

We were surrounded by drifting clouds, cotton-like plumes that gathered together. Condensed piles, the ship's front tore through them, skimming across the threads, as if on water. There were no currents, but the wind that blew my locks back was gentle and coaxing. My own covered eyes watched as something before began to appear, to grow in size. My ears caught a familiar sound, loud and rushing, and before long, felt something collect on the skin on my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I inhaled sharply, before allowing a smile to appear on my face.

"Ah... the fresh smell of rushing water..." But unsettling rumbles began to gurgle in my stomach, and I tightened my grip on the safety rail. Because I began to figure things out. Or rather, I knew already. Like any human, I attempted to deny what was impossible... what should have never happened in the reality that is Earth. That is... if I am even on Earth anymore.

The puzzle clicked together, recent happenstances replaying in my mind, as well as all that lay around me and in front of me.

"A ship in the sky, the talk of chocobos... and I speak of Alexandria, Tantalus, and Queen Brahne..." Slowly I allowed my covered eyes to open... and was met with a grand sight.

Clear and crisp waters spilled over the edge, a crashing crescendo of roaring white-watered torrent disappearing into the thick of the mist. Beyond the powerful falls were drifting waters, much quieter in comparison, while its mirror-like surface reflected the very ship's belly for me to see. Tilting my head upward, I was granted an extraordinary view. As wide as saucers, my eyes burned in the sight of one refracting tower, the mirror-like front allowing me to even see myself in it from such a distance. White-towers and structures surrounded it, a castle built beautifully with its natural surroundings. And below and around the castle's body lived buildings of cobblestone, rattling tile rooftops and makeshift shacks, people streaming in, out, and through the streets. It was a lively sight, all of it, everything.

A step taken back, my knees buckled, and I sat there in awkward position for some time. As I felt the ship go further from the sight and possibly to the docks, my hands rested on the wood planks beneath me. Shallow breath entered and escaped me, my heartbeat pounding in my ears, threatening to break through the tightness of my throat.

"Unbelievable..." I gasped out with a raspy voice, "I... it shouldn't be possible..."

"It is."

The wind stopped moving.

Everything grew very still.

Colors all around me began to slip away, being pulled in towards one spot before me.

I watched as I was the only thing that still possessed color, movement, and essentially... life. As if the movie was put on pause, everything but me was locked in a stand still. Almost... everything was. The color still flowed to a single spot, and soon began to reveal a glowing sphere of light from its collected point. A vibrant warmth could be felt from it, one that made me want to back away. But I was glued to the spot, watching as the sphere grew in size. Before long, it formed itself into a humanoid shape... and an instant sense of déjà vu overtook me.

Slate-colored skin, and cold merciful eyes, the walking contradiction that floated before me. Flowing hair glowed in the monochrome skies, his aura causing my body to throb. Nothingness was me, and he was the light.

I felt so miniscule at the moment, and I didn't want this guy to know. But he'd know. He knew already.

He set himself on the deck, but his feet weren’t on it. Instead, a platform of air just beneath, allowing him to drift, to approach me in a way that seemed graceful and alien. He was alien. To me, beautiful, or at the very least: exotic. And yet, I felt the need to further myself away, an aversion from him. Confusing, exhausting, unwanted. Really, it was just… strange.

“Call me Odd.”

“What?”

“You find my weird, so call me Odd.”

“…you got to be fudgin’ kidding me. Really?”

He chuckled and shook his head, easily bemused by my bafflement. Anyone would, because I come up with the most amusing expressions ever. I know. I’ve seen my own pictures. A comic book character alive and well, and well, trying their best to not be one. Anyways, he looked at me with those oddly-lit eyes, and for a moment, a flash of light flew. From the direction of his glance, it flew into mine, and my body went through a wave of heat. Unexpected, my knees wobbled, and I fell, just barely catching myself.

“You figured things out.”

Slowly, I nodded, body still weak, heavy, feeling winded. He did something, I don’t know what… but I knew that I panicking would be useless. At least, logically. So I spoke, and hoped for the best. “Yeah. Though, I don’t understand… why Final Fantasy Nine? Couldn’t I have been in something else?”

A moment of laughter, and he smirked. “How would you have turned out in Final Fantasy 7?”

“Cut into barbeque pineapple chicken squares or made into a flesh-kabob by crazy-arse.”

“8?”

“Would have probably want to kill Squall, strangle Zell, and make Irvine reveal that he’s secret gay. And smash Rinoa’s face in and steal her dog Angelo.”

“10?”

“Tidus was a pussy, Wakka reminds me of my high school enemy, and Lulu deserved to get knocked up in X-2. And Yuna, hrm, dunno really.”

“Kingd—”

“Don’t get me started. Please. I may not play those games anymore, but I can really, really, REALLY get into ranting. Don’t you dare tempt me.”

“And that is why I chose for you to be in 9.”

“…but why me?”

“Why, dear one, do you think I need a reason?”

That question did strike an interesting chord in me, and left me in a moment’s stupor. There was no real answer… not that I knew of, and not to my knowledge. I squinted through my goggles, and scrunched up my face. Then, I relaxed the muscles, allowing for little expression. My answer…

“Not really.”

Before I knew it, he placed a cold, but warming hand on the top of my head, ruffling my short locks, causing my scalp to tingle pleasantly. I did not tense as he coaxed my mind into a lulling calm, his voice echoing quietly, soothingly. “A good head, and a good heart. You know already, and should be prepared. All is set in stone, until the change is made. Till then… enjoy the ride.”

Color returned to the world, and everything was set back into motion. I was where I once had been before his appearance, before Odd had crashed my sense of reality. Even now… I stare at my hands, callused and weathered, unsure if they are my hands. Or was the breeze against my cheek real, or if the sight before me was… or was it all a dream?

My hands set themselves on the safety rail, and as we went to disembark and settle the airship into the docks, I looked over the edge. Before the reflection broke into ripples, I caught sight of what was on my ears. They were earmuffs, or at least, cups that protected and muffled all the noise around note. Appearing to be made of worn-materials, and broken in rather nicely, I seem to have had them for quite some time. The “supposed” me that is.

“Who am I?”

A question that’d be left unanswered. But luckily, my humor will always allow me to have some sort of answer that made me content.

I am Sane, the crazed leader of a circus troupe, and a possible underground freak of nature.

…I like it.

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A/N: Well, so it’s happened. Sane finds out what’s going on. Wait, not really. Left in the dark, but given a good push as to what needs to be done, Sane’s got a lot on that plate. But hey, let’s see how this one’s going to turn out, huh?

I would like to thank my most recent reviewer: Tabby. She’s probably one of the most famous Self-Insertion writers on this side of the internetz, and applaud her for her dedication and wanting to accomplish what many find impossible: complete a SI story that’s actually good, and not poorly written and just a sad fanatic’s attempt in making themselves feel special. Keep up the great work Tabby, I’m rooting for (and stalking) you all the way~

~NiHy