Author’s Note: Edited it a little, but it was only a few sentences. (: P.S. This is old stuff but hopefully I’ll start updating some new stories. =P

(Original Author’s Note) A/N: Here is my story for the Suicide Challenge. And I must admit I really do love this story the words just flowed out, I was crying when I writing (I’m such a baby).

Warning: Slash, Character Death, and a few cuss words. Don’t read if you don’t like reading about any of those things.

Challenge: Suicide Challenge; those quotes that are like ‘this’ those are the ones that were the prompts.

Remus’s POV

How am I supposed to do this? How can I anymore? What do I have to live for? What is left of me now? I told him how I felt and he ran away.

Sirius never cared, he never did. He has just been teasing me all this time, all those years. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m left all alone.

I’m drowning. Drowning in a pool of hopelessness... And I fear that I'll never be able to get out. I have no hope. I feel nothing. I’m hopeless.

I’m a werewolf which just adds to my problem. People would hate me if they ever found out, they would resent me. Do they think I wanted to be this way? Ha, don’t they realize that I would like to be like them, to not have to worry so much.

But this has made me realize, my experience with Sirius has taught me something, I have no one. I have nothing, I am nothing.

I thought I had had something with Sirius, something beautiful, something wonderful. I had been a fool for ever thinking that.

He left me with nothing. I am nothing, now. Now I’m stuck. The only thing I can feel is my heart breaking. Oh God, why did I have to love him so much? Sirius was everything to me.

I was stupid to believe that someone like him would ever love me the way I loved him.

I think this is it. I can’t keep living like this, I can’t keep holding on. I’ve already lost everything so what’s the point of living?

I lose myself and that scares me, scares me to death. Damn it, why had I been so foolish! I think I realize now. You’re better off without me, everyone is.

I have no point in living, no purpose, no motivation. I’m tired of all this crap. I need to go! I can’t take this anymore! I can’t keep pretending I’m alright when I’m not.

What really makes me sick is that I still love him. I still love the man that has sucked all the life out of me, still love him; love him more than anything else. I love you but something love isn’t enough.

I need to leave, now! I’m tired of the lies, the heartbreak, and the pain! Everything! I’m just tired of it all!

No one would care if I left, no one would give a shit. Even my own bloody parents wouldn’t care! No one will cry for me.

Don’t even bother. I’ve already lost this battle. I’m in too deep to go back now. Everything is different now. My life is officially hell.

Ha, this God forsaken place I bid you goodbye, goodbye to all those who pretended to actually give a rat’s ass about me, and most importantly goodbye Sirius Black you’re the one that has taken my life away, but I still love and I always will.

I remember seeing Sirius’s crying and shout “Please don’t go! I love you!” before I slipped into the eternal darkness.

Sirius’s POV

I do wish that before Remus… departed from us… I would have told him I was sorry, that I was truly sorry for running away. I hadn’t meant to run, I was just scared, and I didn’t know what else to do at the moment.

I would give anything to apologize to him. Remus didn’t deserve to die, not at all. He had so much to live for. If anyone deserves to die it is me.

I am a selfish human being, while Remus was so kind. He just didn’t deserve it.

Even though Remus never found out I did love him, I had always loved him, and I always will. I will love him to the day I die.

It has been ten years since Remus’s…death… and I still remember seeing him lying on the ground with an empty potion bottle on the ground next to him, so lifeless, so cold.

I would do anything to trade places with him.

I can’t wait till that day when I meet up with Remus again. I wish that day would come soon.

Sometimes I still wonder what life would be like if he was still here. Would we have gotten together, would we be happy, what would it have been like being with Remus?

I guess that’s something I’ll never find out. I just hope that when I meet up with him again, that he will forgive me, that he will let me wrap my arms around him, let me kiss him.

I just wish that day would come quickly; I can’t bear this sadness anymore. I had never felt so empty. I can’t even remember the last time I had felt happy. It is just too much to bear.

It was too much for you. But what if life without you is too much for me? I guess this must have been how he had felt the before he… left. Empty, over whelmed with these emotions; pain, sadness, misery, depression…

What is the point? When the world is shrouded in shadows, all that remains is ashes. I fear that I’m drowning in my pain, which I won’t be able to get out of. I’m all alone; Remus left me, now I have no one.

I deserve this though, I made Remus feel this way, and I deserve every bit of this. I made Remus suffer.

I can’t hold on to life anymore, it’s slipping through my fingers. I want to go and find Remus, I want to be with him, I can’t wait anymore, and I can’t deal with this pain anymore, this pain in my heart.

But then I hear your voice calling to me “Just because I'm not strong enough doesn't mean you can't handle it. Don’t take away your life just because of my mistakes, I love you Sirius and I'll be waiting for you.”

Those kind words you said to me Remus made me realize that even though you’re not here with me, you’re still here with me in my heart. Waiting for me, and you still love me. You’re the one that helped me through my misery, even though I don’t deserve your kindness though but I’ll hold on.

I’ll hold on for you Remus, my love.

The End

A/N: Well what did you think? Like it, hate it, love it? Comment and tell me your opinion. (:

P.S. I put the last two words in bold because I felt like it made it seem more dramatic... But that's just my opinion. Haha.