Disclaimer: Sadly, I don’t own Shrek, any characters you might recognize, or the line at the end of this chapter. =(

This is based off something that my friend’s brother did to her when she was on crutches. Enjoy!

Artie Pov

“Come back here, wimp! No one talks back to me like that!”

Lancelot was gaining on me. I dashed down the hallway. The janitor’s closet! Maybe I could hide there! I tried to open the door. But it was locked. Then Lancelot rounded the corner. I’m doomed, I thought.

“Gotcha!”

I was cornered. Nowhere to run.

“You know what Loser?” said Lancelot, “I’m gonna be nice and let you choose how I punish you. Either you let me use you for target practice or you climb the tree.”

I considered the options. If I was used for target practice, I would most definitely get hurt. If I climbed the tree, there was still a chance to get off light. “The tree,” I decided.

I stood at the base of the tree. It was huge! And I was supposed to climb to the very top!

“Break a leg,” said Lancelot.

I pulled myself up on the lowest branch. I kept climbing until about half-way up. That’s when I looked down. I really wish I hadn’t, ‘cause it seemed like a long way down. Then I noticed Gwen watching. I can’t mess this up now! I thought.

“It looks like Artie-kitty got stuck in the tree! Here, let me help you down.”

Lancelot, helping me down? This probably isn’t good…

Lancelot pulled out his lance.

This is most definitely not good.

The next thing I knew I was on the ground in an awkward position, and my leg really hurt.

A/N: Actually, my friend didn’t fall out a tree, the jumped off her front step onto concrete.

So, Lancelot told the headmaster that I was climbing the tree and fell out. Of course, no one bothered to correct him. Crutches are hard to walk with, I can tell you that. So, on my way to class, I sat down for a rest, when Lancelot came along. He picked up my crutches and put them a couple yards away.

“Can’t walk now, can you cripple?”

Fin

I don’t like to torture Artie, but the idea wouldn’t leave me alone. Hopefully it will now! ;) If you want more, review! So, the ending part is what happened to my friend. Oh, in case you were wondering, Artie did eventually get his crutches back. Sorry Artie only said 2 words, but it would be a little OoC for him to say anything else.