|the calories at mickey d's
Author: aNdreaa PM
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino and Kiba venture to McDonalds where the fries are good and the people are stupid. AU. OneShot. Slightly CRACKish. Slightly DRABBLEish.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Sakura H. & Sasuke U. - Words: 701 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 5 - Published: 07-31-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5264528
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
the calories at mickey d's
Sakura sighed happily as she dropped into the chair beside Sasuke. Ino was sipping water through a straw while her tray of salad leaves lay untouched. Naruto was wolfing his two burgers down with such gusto that Ino and Kiba, across from him, leaned back in their chairs in disgust.
"Close your mouth."
"Seriously. I can see the dead cow you've got stuck in your molars."
"Dude," Ino remarked as she picked through Sakura's McDonalds tray, "You got fries and a McFlurry and a hamburger? That's like, 2,000 calories."
"And," Sakura said giddily, producing a separate to-go bag and shaking it, "two apple pies!"
"Make that 3,000," Ino said dryly as she took another sip of her drink.
"Just because you refuse to consume anything fattening doesn't mean I have to," Sakura shrugged, lifting the bun on her Big Mac and stuffing several fries underneath. She then replaced the top bun and pressed her hand down to flatten it.
"You're gonna bloat," Ino warned.
"I'll unbloat later."
"I've got at least 60 years left. I do tennis and stuff."
With that, Sakura delved into her burger and let out a satisfied groan. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Can I have the rest of your fries?" Naruto asked, now finished with his burgers.
"You can have half of them," Sakura said, her face still in her bun-and-lettuce-and-cheese-and-meat-heaven.
"Dude," Kiba piped up, sipping his soda noisily as the drink hit bottom, "party at Sai's tonight."
"Are you all going?" Ino asked, chewing her straw.
"Sai's gigs are always a little over-the-top," Sasuke commented.
"Yeah! And that one kid drowned in a keg during his post-finals week bash! Remember?"
"That was a total rumor," Sakura laughed. "You were there, Kiba."
"But totally trashed," Sasuke muttered, getting a punch in the arm in return.
"EW!" Ino screeched suddenly. "SAKURA, NARUTO'S TAKING ALL YOUR FRIES, BITING THEM IN HALF AND PUTTING THEM BACK IN THE CONTAINER!"
Everyone at the table stopped eating mid-bite at once (not to mention several people in the restaurant turned at the sound of Ino's loudness) closed their mouths and turned their heads toward the object of Ino's disgust. Sakura's eyes snapped open and she whipped around to the boy next to her. Naruto blinked and looked up innocently; he chewed twice and gulped loudly.
"What," Sakura deadpanned, "are you doing?"
Naruto blinked again, gesturing toward the fries. "You said I could have half of them."
His four other friends shared the same look: incredulity at the limits of someone's stupidity.
"That is so gross," Ino said, pushing her salad away. "I can't eat now."
"Like you ever do," Kiba muttered under his breath, smirking, but she heard it and threw her cup at him. Kiba shot his arm out to defend himself and the cup ricocheted. The lid popped off and a splash of water exploded, drenching Naruto as he shrieked. Sasuke, next to him, scooted back so fast to avoid the onslaught that his chair toppled over.
"Way to freak, Ino. Take a chill pill!" Kiba barked.
"Should've gotten hot coffee," Ino growled as her target got up squealing from the cold and shook the ice from his lap.
"Naruto, seriously," Sakura said, ignoring her chaotic surroundings (people were staring now), "that is disgusting. When would someone EVER mean 'half of the fries' as literal halves?"
"You said I could have half of them," Naruto repeated in a whiny voice.
Sakura sighed and pushed her tray down the table to him in disgust.
"…now you can have all of them."
Super short and just for friend-chip. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. I think I'm hyped up on fraps. Based on a true story though- happened to my sister but it was with Cheetos. Gross, right?
Sorry Ino was so freakin' annoying. I didn't mean it. She just popped out of the mold like that.
Anybody squint and catch the SasuSaku?