CSI: New York – Alternate Endings: SMacked

Chapter 4 – Episode 6x06 “High Expectations”

A/N: The following takes place at the end of episode 6x06 “It Happened To Me”
SMacked all the way!

...

[Stella’s POV]

‘Sploshing’ my brain reminds me of earlier and I find myself lightly laughing as I recall the look on Don’s face earlier in that apartment building. Not exactly up my alley either but Adam seemed more than eager to tell Don and I all about it. ‘Adam’; my mind cursing his name as it enters my head. ‘What was I thinking?’ Non-threatening; right. Justifiable? Hardly. Regardless, it’s over with now and never to be spoken of again so no sense dwelling on the past and my misguided judgement calls. I’ve decided to write it off as emotional stress and leave it at that. Frankly, I’m surprised and actually pleased with Adam’s so far cavalier approach to respect our professional boundaries, and even the personal ones I set the very next day by confessing it was indeed a mistake. It’s true I’d rather not harp on my regrets; instead I have to focus on the here and now. ‘Speaking of here and now’ my brain offers; forcing me to push myself up from my desk as I notice my partner walk by my office and head towards his own. ‘He should’ve left hours ago’.

“Mac?” I call out softly as push my way inside his office.

“Hey Stella, what are you still doing here?” he answers quietly, eyes consumed with the open folder in his hands.

“I could ask you the same thing” I counter and he nods, letting out a small laugh.

“You got me” he confesses, closing the manila folder and finally looking up at me.

“What’s that?” I wonder and he looks at me with a slight frown. He doesn’t have to answer me, I can decipher just about anything he’d have to tell me by simply noting his expression. This frown in particular was the famous Mac Taylor ‘I’m getting nowhere with this’ frown.

“Compass killer right?” I ask and he nods. “Can I see that folder?”

“Sure, but I don’t know what good it will do. I’ve read it over and over at least a hundred different times” he huffs.

“And then what did you do after lunch?” I quip and he finally rewards my efforts with a smile.

He reluctantly hands me the case folder and I pretend to flip through it for a brief second before closing it and dropping it on the corner of his desk, along with his other unsolved cases, knowing full well it can wait until tomorrow.

“Stella...” he begins to protest, reaching for the file but I quickly grab his hand and stop him.

“Halloween’s over Mac” I tell him and he offers me a slightly baffled look.

“What?”

“You can take off the cape, you’re not really Superman”

“Stella,” he tries again, letting out a sigh. Why he even bothers arguing is beyond me; he knows he’s not going to win.

“You’ve been here 16 hours already” I remind him. “Go home”

“What about you?”

“I’m going home too. Unless...” I raise an eyebrow at him and offer a playful smirk.

“Unless what?” He quickly wonders.

“Unless you and Hawkes are going to invite me to your slumber party” I tease and he rolls his eyes. “Or, are there no girls allowed?”

“You can sleep over, but you’re not allowed in our fort” he counters and we both laugh. The sound of his laughter, now there’s something I haven’t heard much of these days. And he could say the same about mine I’m sure of it.

“I miss this...” I confess in a soft tone; referring of course to our silly banter we’ve all but neglected these past few months after I shut myself out from the world more or less.

Truth of the matter is everyone has been in a downward spiral since Jessica was killed. Everyone but Mac that is. Our emotionally stable rock; I couldn’t kid myself, to us he was Superman. He had to stand by and watch all of us crumble around him, never complaining when he had to pick up the pieces. He’d be there at the drop of a hat if any of us needed help, and we all knew it. Which only leaves me to ponder how selfish we’ve all really been; never taking into account his feelings. Instead taking all the comfort and compassion he was more than willing to give us and offering him nothing in return. I was mainly upset with myself; to the others Mac was usually an emotional brick wall, nothing and no one getting through. But not with me; I was offered the occasional glimpse into his brooding soul. There was much more to this man than any of them might care to believe.

‘Live in the present’ my brain reminds me, knowing there’s nothing I can do to repair the damage that’s already been done. With that thought I decide to take a small leap of faith. He might be ‘fine’ as he tells me on a nearly daily basis, but I won’t miss another opportunity to find out in case he’s not.

“Don’t you? Miss this, I mean...” I ask, forcing my attention back to our conversation.

“Yeah... I guess I do” he smirks.

“You asked me earlier if we expect too much of each other...”

“And?” he wonders.

“And...” I begin to respond before quickly stopping myself. I know all too well if I tell him that it’s only us expecting too much from him he’ll just brush it off and not allow me to argue my point further. “Nothing, never mind”

“Are you alright?” He questions and I’m not the least bit surprised.

“Yeah, just been a long week. I could use a drink. In fact, I think we both could. What do you say?”

“Well I know it wouldn’t do any good to argue with you”

“You’re catching on Taylor” I tell him, shooting him a quick wink.

“Yeah, and only took me 10 years, not so bad huh?” he chuckles as he pulls his jacket on and leads me out of his office.

...

“Now about this slumber party business...” he teases as we step into the elevator and the doors close.

...

**Super quick, I know. Just a little something I threw together after watching tonights eppy ;) A little ficlet to make you smile, so hope you enjoy it**