By Freddie

Everyone thought that today would be just a normal day, that nothing special would happen. Everyone thought that patients would come in, Andrew and Duffy would argue, patients would go out, Barney and Spencer would argue. Patients would come in, Holly and Patrick would.

"Ear Canal, Burst Blood Vessel?" That was Holly, no doubt defending herself.

"Anyone with an ounce of intelligence would have worked it out" That was Patrick

"You weren't even on the Canal."

"I was, well a river."

"Yeah a river, NOT the canal." Chloe, overhearing the conversation, sighed. She didn't know what they were talking about but she decided not to get involved, it was too risky. Holly and Patrick carried on arguing until they reached the staff room, and then they went in and carried on arguing. They only stopped arguing when Barney came in saying that they were needed in resus.

"Okay what do we have?" Patrick asked in his usual abrupt manner

"Mr Luvet, early 40's, Query O.D." Penny replied

"Okay can we have 10ml of adrenaline, and a C spine NOW." As Barney found 10ml of adrenaline, Patrick opened his mouth to say something but one look at Holly told him that it would not be a wise thing to say. Although the team tried their best they lost him a few minutes later. Patrick went to deal with the relatives but as he left he was the only one who noticed a silent tear flow down Holly's cheek. After he had informed Mrs Luvet and her daughter of Mr Luvets death he went to look for Holly

"Have you seen Holly?" He asked Amy

"Not since Mr Luvets death, no." Amy replied.

"Thanks." He said heading for the staff room as that was the most likely place for her to be if no one had seen her. When he walked into the staff room he saw Holly crying.

"Holly there was nothing we could do." He said sympathetically putting an arm round her.

"I know," Holly said wiping her eyes. "But it's just, it's just it brought back all the memories, especially as..."

"Shh" Patrick pulled her closer and for the first time in days, weeks even, she felt safe. This, and the fact that she had to tell someone soon (especially if the results came back as she thought the would) decided her.

"Patrick," she started "Patrick I'm scared." Patrick looked at her confused.

"Why? Holly what's wrong?"

"Do you remember." She started explaining. Meanwhile in Admin:

"Holly is behaving really oddly isn't she?" Chloe asked

"Yeah, I haven't seen her since Mr Luvet died but before that she was acting weird yeah." Barney said.

"I think she had a migraine yesterday, if that's any help." Duffy said.

"I suppose it could explain it a bit." Barney replied "But Holly's not the only one acting oddly, When we were treating Mr Luvet Patrick looked as though he was about to say something, probably something totally unsympathetic knowing him, but then he didn't, do you think it's something to do with Holly?"

"Could be." Chloe replied.

Meanwhile back in the staff room:

"Oh Holly, why didn't you tell me? When do you go for the test?" Patrick asked, very concerned. Holly glanced at the clock.

"One hour." She replied

"I'll come with you." Patrick said

"No you don't." Holly started

"Look my breaks in about an hour, Anyway I'd better come just to make sure you don't collapse with nerves half way there." Holly smiled.

"Thank you." Holly said

"What for?"

"For being the only person who could possibly make light of the situation."

A few hours later that day people noticed that Patrick and Holly were both very tense and jumpy. Max noticed this first and when it got worse he asked to see them both in his office.

"What is up with you two?" Max asked, "Whenever the phone rings you're there, you're so edgy today." Neither Patrick or Holly said anything "come on, it can't be that bad."

"I may have Cancer." Holly said trying not to let her voice shake, "The Illness which killed my mum may kill me." Max stood in shock for a moment

"Cancer?" He repeated.

"Yes, I went for a test today."

"Oh Holly, I didn't realise."

"I suppose I should be used to it, I mean I've had the test every year for the last 18 years but it never, it never gets any easier. Especially since." Holly trailed off.

"Since what?" Max prompted. Holly got up and walked over to the window.

"When I was 12 my mum started getting very bad migraines, a few months after they started my mum was diagnosed with Cancer, I know it was probably a coincidence but, recently I've been getting migraines." Patrick put a comforting hand on Holly's back, which seemed to give her the strength to finish her tale. "What makes it worse is the fact that, that after my mum died my dad committed suicide, I found the body, I was 12, 12!"

"Which is why you took Mr Luvet's death so badly." Max realised. Holly nodded and took a deep breath.

"But I must be strong, Mum was strong," Holly said her voice shaking like an earthquake. Max looked at Holly and with a sympathetic voice said "I'm sorry if I've brought up painful memories." Holly's eyes met Max's

"It's okay, I'm fine," She said wiping her eyes "I'll go and clean myself up and then get back to work."

"Holly I don't expect you to work."

"I have to Max, otherwise the memories will drive me crazy, I have to keep busy." And with that Holly walked out and Patrick followed her leaving Max thinking how strong Holly was.

Next day Holly came in having had no breakfast. She hadn't been able to get to sleep last night and when she eventually did, her alarm didn't go off. She hadn't even had time to grab a drink. When she walked into the staff room Patrick was sitting in there. He looked up expectantly when she walked in, but Holly shook her head. Patrick sighed.

"Sleep well?" he asked her. Holly shook her head again.

"Not a wink, you?"

"Same, not a wink," Patrick took a deep breath, "Holly there's ?" He broke off suddenly seeing Holly grab onto the sink to steady herself. He jumped up and grabbed her just before she collapsed. "Holly can you hear me? Holly? Holly?" At this point Chloe walked in and Patrick half told, half screamed at her to get Max. Chloe took one look at Holly and ran out of the staff room, running straight into Max.

"Max," She said quickly "it's Holly, she's collapsed" Max went straight into the staff room. They moved Holly into a cubicle, which confused Chloe who was sure that Holly had just fainted.

"How come she gets a cubicle immediately but I have to wait four hours only for her to get the cubicle before me?" Asked a Patient. Max took a deep breath as he was fast losing his temper with that man.

"I'm afraid that there are possible complications which make her a slightly higher priority than a suspected broken wrist."

"What complications?" the Man asked.

"I'm afraid that in view of patient confidentiality I can't tell you that."

"What complications?" Chloe asked.

"I'm afraid until the test results come back I can't say Chloe."

"What's wrong with Holly?" Chloe persisted. Max was just about to remind her that they aren't supposed to discuss patients in front of other patients when Amy came round the corner.

"Have either of you seen Holly?" She asked.

"Holly's collapsed, why?" Chloe replied.

"Collapsed?" Amy replied in confusion. Patrick came out of Holly's Cubicle at this point. Max turned to him and asked, "How is she?"

"No change." came the reply.

"Anyway as I was saying there's a phone call for her." Amy said.

"A phone Call?" Patrick and Max replied, their full attention now on Amy.

"Yes, a phone call, you know the thing that goes Bring-Bring" Patrick and Max exchanged glances.

"I'll take it." Patrick said

"But." Amy started only to be interrupted by Max.

"Do you think that they'll let you take it?" He asked. Patrick shrugged.

"Who knows but its worth a try." He said heading for reception.

"Fine!" Amy said following him "Completely ignore me."

"Hello Dr Spiller It's DR Miles and I'm afraid She's .yes, I came with ., thank .no, there must be some . I'll tell thank " Patrick stood in shock for a moment after he put the phone down. Then he realised exactly what the phone conversation meant. He fought back the tears as he walked through reception and headed for the staff room, he couldn't let Holly see him like this, he had to be strong. Max walked over to him as he was about to enter the staff room.

"She's woken up, she's asking for you." Max said his voice shaking, if Patrick was crying it could not be good news. Patrick took a deep breath and walked over to Holly's cubicle wiping his eyes. As soon as he walked in Holly knew.

As Max walked out of the cubicle he thought how well Holly was taking it, but then again the patients normally took bad news better that the friends and relations.

"Chloe can I see everyone in admin in about 10 minutes," He said to Chloe as she passed "Oh and tell anyone else you see." He added.

10 minutes later in Admin it was complete and utter chaos.

"Can everyone be quiet please," he asked in vain above the noise. Max felt like shouting 'will you shut up' but knew that that wouldn't work "will you please be QUIET!" That seemed to have the desired effect; a hush crept over Admin. "Is everyone here?" Max asked

"Patrick isn't here and nor is Holly." Barney replied.

"That's okay," Max said, "They know what I'm about to tell you." All eyes were on him.

"I've done this a thousand times, why's it so hard now?" He muttered under his breath. Duffy, who had heard him say that asked genuinely concerned "Max? What's wrong?"

"It's Holly, She's got Cancer." There was silence. Then Chloe voiced the question that was on everyone's mind.

"How advanced is it?"

"They won't tell us, Holly's going to find out tomorrow when she goes for the second test."

A few minutes later when people had dispersed to their various jobs Chloe and Spencer were taking the Man who had been in the corridor up to X-ray.

"Is it me or has a sudden sense of foreboding come over the department?"

"Sorry, It's just, It's just one of our colleagues has just been diagnosed with Cancer." Chloe said still in shock.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realise. Is it that dark brown haired doctor who collapsed, the one that I shouted to Dr Gallagher about?" Chloe nodded. A tear ran down the side of her face as the true horror of what was happening to Holly sank in.

Next day Holly was walking through the department crying, her hands covering her face. She had just had the results of the second test. No one disturbed her as they could tell what the result was, why would she be crying otherwise? When she walked into the staff room she saw Patrick and Max sitting in there. Patrick, who knew Holly better than anyone else at the hospital, realised that something wasn't right.

"Holly, what's wrong?" He asked, getting up and going over to her.

"Patrick, what do you think is wrong, she's just been diagnosed with Cancer." Max replied.

"No," Patrick said, a smile coming to his face as he moved Holly's hands away from her face, "she's crying, but she's not just crying Max, She's laughing as well. What happened Holly?"

"I know I shouldn't really be laughing but," She paused "but there was a mix up with the test results, I don't have cancer." Patrick hugged her.

"Holly that's wonderful" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, I just feel sorry for Miss H. Mile, She must have been told that she was in the clear when she had Cancer." Holly said moving away and sitting where Patrick had been sitting so that Patrick had to stand up.

"But what about when you collapsed?" Patrick asked, leaning against a wall.

"I fainted, I hadn't had a chance to have anything to drink that morning." Holly replied. Max was just about to say something when Chloe poked her head round the door.

"Max, Patrick, I need a doctor in resus" She said.

"Holly, I'll let you take this one, Welcome back to the team." Max said, smiling as Holly replied "What a wonderful welcome back present Max, very original." And walked of to resus. Chloe followed Holly with a confused look on her face.

'Spoiler'

When a strangely familiar woman turns up in A&E Patrick is the first to realise her true Identity (Not that she was using a false one but anyway)

A few weeks later Holly was standing in reception, She was holding a patient slip in her hand and the name on it looked strangely familiar but for the life of her she couldn't think where she'd heard it. Since the cancer scare She and Patrick had grown closer, and argued, and grown closer, and argued, you get the picture.

"Cassandra Adams" She called and showed Ms Adams to a spare cubicle. "So, what can I do for you Ms Adams" She asked the girl only a few years younger than herself who had one arm in a sling.

"I think I've broken my arm." She said, indicating with her free hand to her other arm.

"Right, can I take a look?" Holly asked

"Sure, I'm hardly in a position to refuse am I?" She replied making Holly smile.

"Is there anyone that you want me to contact, your husband?" Holly asked, while taking a look at her arm.

"On a business trip"

"Children?"

"Um, how long to you think it'll take?"

"Contacting your children or dealing with your arm?"

"Dealing with my arm" Ms Adams replied smiling.

"Depends if X-ray's free and if you've broken your arm."

"Do you think I'll be out by 4?"

"Well its 9 now so 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 7 hours well, I'd hope you'd be out in 7 hours time."

"That's ok, Oh and I've also got an appointment at the hospital in half an hours time. It's a cancer test" Holly placed a comforting hand on Ms Adams free hand.

"I've been there too, I'll make sure that they're told," She paused, "right I'll go and find out if x-ray's free." She stepped out of the cubicle and almost walked into Spencer.

"Ah Spencer, Do you know if X-rays free" Holly asked.

"No Dr Miles, I'm afraid it isn't, I've just taken a patient up there"

"Ok, Keep me posted." She said and stepped back into the cubicle to tell Ms Adams that she would have to wait.

A few minutes later Holly was in the staff room trying to work out where she knew Ms Adams from when Patrick came in. Holly however didn't notice him.

"Hello! Earth to Holly, Earth to Holly." He said waving a hand in front of her face.

"Oh, Sorry Patrick, I was in a world of my own."

"I noticed, what's bothering you?" Patrick asked sitting down next to her on the sofa.

"Is it that obvious that something's bothering me?" Holly asked.

"It is to me"

"I know Ms Adams from somewhere but for the life of me I can't think where I know her from."

"Have you treated here before?"

"No, I don't think so, I get this weird feeling whenever I'm around her, a bit like, well it's a bit hard to explain. It's a bit like, well have you ever been going through your stuff when you find an old toy which you haven't seen for years, it's a bit like that"

"So you think that she was a cuddly toy in a past life?"

"NO! It's like a kind of sense familiarity, like someone I know really well."

"Well I don't know," There was a long pause "I know, an old school friend"

"Could be I suppose, Oh well better get back to work" Holly said getting up.

"Oh Holly, What's Ms Adams first name?"

"Cassandra" She said and wandered off to find a patient to treat.

Later Patrick was sitting in admin making a paper aeroplane because for the first time in ages A&E was actually quiet! He was also trying to figure out who Ms Adams was while trying to eavesdrop on Chloe and Mel's conversation. He was getting quite good at listening in on other people's conversations while doing something else. Well, even senior registrars need to know what's going on in the hospital.

"Danny? But I thought that he's got a major crush on Sandy" Chloe said to Mel. Something in that conversation jogged Patrick's memory, didn't Spencer say how Ms Adams looked a bit like Holly. Suddenly he realised who she could be.

"Sandy, Sandra, Cassandra" He muttered under his breath.

"What's that?" asked Andrew who was sitting near him doing some paperwork.

"Oh nothing" Patrick replied getting up and walking to reception. There were only a couple of people waiting to be seen and Amy looked as if she was expecting a Mass murderer to jump out at any moment.

"What's wrong Amy?" Patrick asked Amy who was very jumpy.

"I think that a mass murderer is going round killing all the ill people, either that or we have a huge emigration problem. It's too quiet for my liking."

"I know what you mean, Amy." There was a short pause "Amy, can you look something up on the computer for me"

"Yeah sure, Why?"

"I think I know who Ms Adams is"

"I think that you watch too many James Bond films, maybe she is Cassandra Adams"

"No what I mean is, um I um I mean Holly um. It's a long story," He said adding under his breath "And a long shot" He looked at the screen which now displayed Ms Adams details. "Birthday, today as Sandy's would have been, adopted 18 years ago today, like Sandy. Mother died of Cancer like Sandy, Father, overdose,

"Like Sandy" Amy joined in

"So who's this Sandy person?" Amy asked.

"Well, she could be Ms Adams if I'm right, but if I'm not then who know who she is" Patrick said and wandered off back to the staff room.

"Sounds like one of those really weird logic."Amy said trailing of as she realised that Patrick wasn't listening, ".puzzles" She finished.

Meanwhile in the staff room Holly, Spencer and Barney were trying to work out where Holly knew Ms Adams from. They had exhausted all the plausible options and were now on to the very silly ideas.

"Maybe She's your grandmother's, sister's, uncle's, daughter's, cousin's, friend." Barney suggested.

"I somehow don't think so." Holly replied.

"Well maybe you met her on holiday" Spencer suggested.

"Slightly more likely but no."

"Well, maybe someone you met on holiday met her on holiday" Barney suggested. Before Holly could disprove that suggestion Patrick walked in.

"What are you talking about?" Patrick asked.

"We're trying to work out who Ms Adams is" Spencer replied.

"By the way what's her first name?" Barney asked.

"Cassandra" Holly replied.

"Completely off the subject what's your sister's name?" Patrick asked.

"Haven't seen her since we were separated after our parents died."

"Yes but what's her name?"

"Sandy, well Cassandra, Why?"

"Oh no reason."

"Oh well, better get back to work." Holly said and walked out. Three pairs of eyes followed her. Then Spencer and Barney turned back to Patrick.

"Even I can see what you're getting at." Spencer said.

"Me too." Barney added.

"Yeah, but the problem is how to make Holly realise."

When Holly reached reception there was no one waiting to be seen, Amy had decided that either most humans had disappeared like the dinosaurs or everyone in Holby had been kidnapped, and Holly was still no nearer discovering the identity of Ms. Adams.

Holly sighed as she noticed the weather outside.

"Still raining I see," She commented to Amy.

"Yeah, when's it going to stop, its been like this for the past few days." Amy moaned.

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for my car to break down, it seems to be allergic to water!" Amy laughed and Holly headed back to the staff room yet again. Inside the staff room Spencer was on the look out for Holly and when he saw her coming he said.

"Patrick, Barney, She's Coming!" They all tried there best to look inconspicuous and failed miserably.

"Ok What's going on?" Holly asked, on coming into the room.

"Nothing" all three chorused

"Yeah like I'm going to believe that in a million years"

"Completely changing the subject, is it just me or does CASSANDRA Adams look a bit like you Holly?" Spencer said.

"Oh changing the subject yet again, what's your sister's name?" Patrick asked.

"You asked me that earlier"

"Yes, I know that but I've forgotten."

"Cassandra, why?" It took a few moments to sink in but when it had.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Holly asked.

"At LAST" Patrick, Spencer and Barney exclaimed.

"Am I that last to realise" Holly asked.

"Just let me check something, we are talking about Ms Adams being your sister" Barney checked.

"What, Ms Adams, my sister?" Holly asked in Mock surprise "Of course we are you idiot"

Holly practically ran out of the staff room at the speed of light. It turns out that Ms Adams was her sister, Sandy. They talked for what seemed like hours until Spencer came in and told them that X-ray was free, at last. It turned out that Sandy had just sprained her wrist. The two girls agreed to meet for a pizza after Holly's shift was over. From then onwards it was a downward spiral in A&E. From being deathly silent it became completely packed. It was as though the entire days worth of parents had waited for the last hour of their shift.

At the end of the shift Holly was watching the rain, waiting for a slight break. Patrick was watching Holly watching the rain and Spencer was watching Patrick watching Holly watching the rain.

"You really love Dr Miles don't you Dr Spiller" Spencer asked.

"Yeah but after the Carol thing, well, she'll never love me anymore. Besides, we can't even have a normal conversation without arguing." Patrick said, almost wistfully.

"I'd heard that Carol left you"

"Yeah, but I was going to leave her anyway, It kinda made me realise just how much I love Holly" Spencer looked at Patrick for a moment.

"Swallow your pride Dr Spiller, or you'll never get her back" And with that he walked off.

Later in the local Pizza Hut Holly and Sandy were talking about Sandy's when the subject changed rather rapidly.

"So is there anyone special in your life?" Sandy asked.

"No" Holly replied.

"What? Not even that doctor, short dark hair, quite tall" Sandy asked surprised.

"What Patrick? No; no" Holly said slightly wistfully.

"But you were. I know that look, that either means you were in love with him, are in love with him or will be in love with him." Holly sighed.

"Years ago, Patrick and I were working at the same hospital, I was a junior doctor and he was an SHO."

"Which in plain English is?" Sandy interrupted.

"Senior House officer, and we kind of fell in love, well I actually think that he was a bit drunk but anyway, we decided to give it a go." Holly said.

"What happened?"

"Oh we never stopped arguing until one day I stormed off. By that time I had been transferred to paediatrics, that's working with children, and I never really saw him again."

"But how come you're working together again"

"About a year ago he turned up here, neither of us expected to see each other again."

"Well you have to ask yourself two questions, 1, do you think that he's changed"

"No, well, yes, but, oh, I don't know."

"Ok 2, do you still love him?"

"Well, yes, but, oh, I, I don't know. Sometimes I do but sometimes I just want to strangle him."

"Not a good plan." Holly sighed.

"Yes," Holly said, "Yes I do love Patrick."

'Spoiler'

Will Patrick swallow his pride? If he does, will he choke on his words?

Will Holly's Car survive the test of time? Or will it break down in the middle of nowhere?

Next day Patrick was looking out the window of the staff room when he saw Holly battling with her umbrella to try and get it down. Her car had obviously broken down so she had to walk in. It was pouring with rain outside and Holly was getting soaked. Spencer's words flew round in his head like birds in the sky. 'Swallow your pride Dr Spiller, or you'll never get her back'. Holly walked in at this point and Patrick turned from the window.

"You're wet" He commented.

"Yeah well, it is raining" Holly retorted laughing.

"Did you walk into work?" Patrick asked.

"No," Holly said shaking her head. Patrick looked confused. "I think saying that I swam into work would be closer to the truth." Patrick laughed, her wisecracks were one of the many reasons that he was attracted to her.

"Do you want a lift home?" Patrick asked, praying that she wouldn't say something like 'sorry Dan's already offered me one' or 'no, I'd rather walk'.

"Yeah," She said smiling "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

The day passed in a whirl for both of them. With no major incidents the day was pretty calm and before they knew it the day was over.

"Do you remember when we went to the circus?" Patrick asked as the car turned the corner from Holby City General.

"Yeah, I felt so sorry for that knife thrower when his partner became ill." Holly remembered

"Yeah, I remember, we'd managed to keep our relationship a secret up until then." Patrick smiled almost wistfully. They then sat in silence until the car turned the corner into Holly's road. Patrick pulled up outside Holly's house, next to her car.

"Do you um, do you want to come in?" Holly asked.

"Yeah, I would" Patrick said avoiding her almost steady gaze.

"Ok," Holly said her hand on the car door "when I say go, we run for it, otherwise, as I discovered this morning, we with get soaked. 1,2,3 GO" And with that they made dash for it, and considering how hard it was raining stayed quite dry. When they were safely under the porch Holly got out her keys and let them in. The first thing that Patrick noticed was how, um how can I put this tactfully, how confused things looked in Holly's house (i.e. Messy). Patrick noticed a pile of bracelets for example in the middle of the living room floor. Holly saw Patrick looking at the bracelets and said, "You can see how bored I was last night, I was trying to build the leaning pile of bracelets. Unfortunately it leaned a bit too far and leaned over." Patrick laughed; she had always been able to make him laugh.

"Do you want something to eat?" Holly asked.

"Ok" Patrick replied

"Sandwich okay?"

"Yeah"

"What do you want on it?"

"Do you have jam?" Patrick asked knowing full well what her reply would be.

"What do you want, jam on it? Yep, I do have jam," Patrick mouthed Holly's reply as she said it. "Am I that predictable?" Holly asked.

"Yep" Patrick replied as Holly laughed and walked off to the kitchen. "Do you want any help?" Patrick called into the kitchen.

"What after last time? No thanks" came the reply. Patrick smiled as he remembered the occasion that Holly was referring to. At the hospital in Yorkshire Patrick had given Holly a lift home and Holly (being the kind soul that she is) offered him something to eat. Patrick tried to help her and ended up being a bit of a hindrance. A few minutes later Holly appeared with two jam sandwiches, which they then ate.

"So, do you want to watch a film or something?" Holly asked when they had finished.

"Um, yeah, ok" Holly headed for a cupboard. She opened the door with one hand and held one hand ready to catch anything which fell down. She turned to Patrick.

"I know, I've got a film which I can almost guarantee that you haven't watched."

"Oh?"

"Yep, Shut your eyes" She said and once he had she got the video out and put it into the machine.

"Can I open them yet?" Patrick asked.

"No" Holly said fast forwarding through the adverts.

"Do I trust you?" Patrick asked as she allowed him to open his eyes.

"Nope" Holly replied.

"Ok, It's Disney, trust you; 101 Dalmatians?"

"Yep"

"Haven't you seen this enough times, considering you work in paediatrics"

"No, this was brought out just after I left."

"Oh"

"Do I get the feeling that you'd rather not watch this?" Holly laughed.

"It's not so much that, more that um, well, yes." Holly laughed again and went to switch the video off. Holly sat back next to him on the sofa. There was an uncomfortable silence, as neither knew what to say.

"Holly," Patrick began "If I don't say this now, I never will." Holly caught her breath. "Holly, I Love You" Holly moved closer until they were inches apart.

"I love you too." She murmured as they kissed.